Welcome to The Late Show I'm your host Steven colar ladies and [Music] gentlemen L and gentlemen this country is still a buzz about Tuesday's night debate when KLA Harris shook Donald Trump's hand then handed him his ass it was it was I got to say it was uh it was fun to watch it was fun to watch instructive also a very public curb stomping because Tuesday's debate was watched by 67.1 million people making it making it the most watched TV show in the United States since the Super Bowl that makes sense because the winner of
the Super Bowl and the debate were both endorsed by Taylor Swift of course of course according to JD Vance Swift's endorsement isn't that good we admire Taylor Swift's music but I don't think most Americans whether they like her music or fans of hers or not are going to be influenced by a billionaire celebrity who I think is fundamentally disconnected from the interests uh and and and the problems of most Americans good point God knows the last thing Americans need is a billionaire celebrity fundamentally disconnected from the interests and problems of most Americans Vance thank you
for your service Grimace Vance isn't alone here both Trump and Van say they don't care about Taylor Swift's Harris endorsement and the shest way to know someone doesn't care is when they keep telling you how much they don't care I I I don't care I don't care that I don't care that Julie married a dentist named Chad marioni who lives at 272 Willis Avenue is into scuba diving and has a Labradoodle named nugget here he comes oh you nugget and just a reminder in a CNN poll taken immediately after the debate 63% said Harris won
and 37% said Trump won which which of course means that 37% of Americans don't own TVs despite this reality Trump says he won posting people are just starting to give me credit for having a great debate the voters and voter poll showed it but the fake news media wasn't giving the credit that was due now they are seeing the results with independent voters evangelicals and more and saying wow okay all right that's fine all right but wow can mean a lot of different things oh you graduated the top of your class wow you spent the
valid dictorian speech shouting about people eating pets wow now no matter what he says publicly it sure seems like Trump knows he lost that debate because earlier today he truthed this comrade kamla Harris and crooked Joe have destroyed our country there will be no third debate wow oh you know you know JD Vance is going to try to keep Trump away from Springfield Ohio now because he is clearly a little scaredy cat not all but not all of Trump's pals are blown smoke up as ample keester take RFK Jr who said this on Fox News
I think that uh uh vice president Harris clearly won the debate in terms of her delivery her polish uh her organization and and her preparation surprisingly coent analysis from Kennedy there is it possible that he ate a second smarter brain warm ate the first one he went on RFK Jr he continued I think on substance uh president Trump wins on substance on substance anyone who thinks Trump won that debate on substance is clearly on a substance of course beautiful that's beautiful beautiful toight of course Bobby Jr recently endorsed Trump so Neil Cavuto asked him if
he has any regrets just to be clear then Robert you are not changing your mind uh or fearing that you hooked up with the wrong horse here how dare you sir RFK Jr would never hook up with a horse he would wait in the bushes till the horse was hit by a car then he would eat the horse today sure In some cultures it's perfectly a nice baguette uh today Trump was in the swing state of Arizona and the Arizona GOP welcomed him with a billboard that said eat less kittens vote Republican cute but why
are you seizing on Trump's most embarrassing moment of the debate and using it for a campaign ad after Biden's debate you didn't see billboard saying I don't know where I am vote Democratic now love you sir love you sir my favorite interview right over there with the election less than two months away Donald Trump is bringing back one of his go-to scams and it's the digital trading cards uh which are online illustrations of trump doing some of his favorite hobbies business construction on the moon business Cowboy basketball and cowboy business Inspector Gadget but Trump's biggest
and latest Cash Cow is a coffee table book with over 300 pages of photos like this pick of trump signing a washing machine and you can buy that washing machine at the home desperate we've reached a new Lowe's and PC Richard and I hate my sons the I got something there you go there you go and on that that Washington machine photo the the the caption on that photo is I withdrew from the transpacific partnership and ended the disaster known as naft replacing it with the brand new usmca the best trade deal ever made that
of course is not to be confused with the caption under the photo next to it I withdrew from the transpacific partnership and ended the disaster known as na replacing with a brand new usmca the best trade deal ever made how incompetent how incompetent you have to be to use the same caption twice do you know what this means Donald Trump actually wrote this book that's this just this wow this also explains the Trump family's annual Christmas card seasons greetings I withdrew from the transpacific partnership and ended the disaster known as Napa replacing it with a
brand new usmca best trade deal ever made if you want your own copy of this book um are you okay also it don't come cheap cuz its price is 9 $9 or $499 with Trump's autograph and for $600 you can get a personalized thank you card from Donald Trump himself that reads I withdrew from the transpacific partnership and the after play with the brand best deal ever made oh there's a bit of a surprising news yesterday um it turns out there's actually a third guy in politics and he's the president uh his name is Joe
Biden and he attended a 911 memorial event in Pennsylvania and had a bit of fun with one of the attendees who was wearing a trump hat I give you my presidential hat presidential seal on it you do autographic oh sure I'll autograph huh yeah you remember your name I don't remember my name I'm SL there you go man got I need I need that hat want my gra hell no uh-uh no way Jack uhuh hey you take that Jack I might not be the best debater but I can still Zing at the old hat chat
the old Chapo Toe to Toe I'm a I'm a beanie Mimi they call me Fedora the Explorer come on hat so those are all the top stories from our home planet right uh but there's also stuff going on in outer space because this morning aboard the SpaceX crew Dragon private citizens performed a space walk for the first time ever it's incredible regular people without Astronaut training are going into space and working up there you know what that means Armageddon was plausible all along Michael Bay we owe you an apology and you owe me $15 for
Transformers rise of the beasts space walks the space walks were less than how long were they 10 by 10 minutes the space walks were less than 10 minutes long and from a technical perspective they were modest now if you're wondering what a modest space walks looks like okay it's something like this [Laughter] [Applause] [Music] that's uh that's how they shot Apollo 13 there go they just did this the whole time let's take a look at the big spacewalk there they are doing their space thing pretty amazing must have been fun not really a walk more
of a gentle Bob but that's fine it's like when your aunt says she's going for a run you're not going for a run Diane you're wearing hoop earrings and carrying a pack of cigarettes you're going to go sit on the bench in the park the reason the astronauts were holding their arms like this is to test the flexibility of the suits a move some are calling a sort of dance in the vacuum of space this would not be the first time we all know the historic footage of Neil Armstrong that's one small step for man
now watch me whip now watch me neigh neigh we got a great show for you tonight the great Jeff Bridges is here when we come back I'll be cooking with my lovely and talented wife Evie mcge stick around [Applause] [Music] la [Music]