Memory Reconsolidation and Metaprocessing Emotions | AEDP - Part 3 of 3

When we are able to access and move through our  true emotions, and are given the right support so that that process can feel grounded and safe  and rewarding, then during the moments that follow our brain is perfectly poised to transform in ways  that are incredibly healing and liberating. In this video we will be looking at the science of that  and explore why emotional processing can be used in the service of galvanizing neuroplasticity and  producing lasting transformation. So let's dive in!

Hi I'm DrTori Olds and in this video  I would like to try to explain why the emotional processing work done in AEDP, or  Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy, is so transformative from the perspective  of what is likely happening in the brain, specifically as seen through the lens of  something called memory reconsolidation. I will specifically be focusing on the flow  of the model where the client is supported in deepening access to various aspects of emotional  process or what are called the four states and I'll be describing why I believe the  experience of moving through these four states is so likely to trigger memory reconsolidation  and therefore transformational change. Now if you've watched any of my other videos you know  that I talk about memory reconsolidation a lot.

If you haven't seen any of these videos you might  want to pause and watch one specifically called memory reconsolidation. But in case you don't do  that, I will just describe it very briefly here. If I had to outline what memory reconsolidation is  about in one sentence, I would say that it is the process through which our deep, unconsciously held  imprints, our patterns of neural wiring can be rewired.

But before describing the science  of that, I want to describe why that rewiring matters. To me it comes down to this: when we  are struggling psychologically, in most cases, it is because something healthy got unconsciously  associated with, neurologically linked to, a sense of danger or shame. And when I say associated  or linked, I mean quite literally kind of wired together.

As an example, you know how if you give  a mouse an electric shock every time they hear a bell, the sound of a bell will be linked then to  a fear response? That's a neurological link, such that the neurons that register the sound of the  bell are now tied into the neurons that produce the fear response. In other words, cause the heart  rate to go up and the mouse to run away, etc.

Those kinds of links are held in what's called implicit  memory and when things are held in implicit memory we don't have to think about what something means,  like what does the bell mean to me, we just hear the bell and the whole neural firing pattern gets  triggered so that we can respond without thinking. While all of this is unconscious, we do call  it learning because unconsciously something is being imprinted or learned. The mouse is  learning to believe the bell is dangerous.

For humans, the word we tend to use for  this phenomenon is emotional learning, or even sometimes: unconscious belief, or schema,  or a mental model. Neuroscientists use the word "prediction" because these mental models are all  about unconsciously predicting what's about to happen next and how I should respond. But whatever  word we use, when we struggle psychologically, it's almost like neurons have become connected  in a way that creates a little tangle.

Things have become tangled together that don't  really belong together, the way a bell doesn't really belong with a fear response, similarly  sadness doesn't really belong with anxiety, anger doesn't belong with shame. What does this  have to do with psychology? Well again, when we struggle it's because something healthy got  tangled up with associations of danger or shame and therefore some kind of defensive maneuver.

What  kind of healthy things can take on these negative associations? Well our emotions for sure, but also  things like asking for what we need or setting a boundary or letting someone come close to us. You  know there are all sorts of healthy things that can be linked to danger or the prediction of some  negative outcome and when they are, they will in turn be linked to some kind of defense, just like  the mouse learning to run away.

It's funny because we use the word "pattern" in our daily lexicon, like  "oh, that's my pattern" but I don't think we realize that underneath is actually a pattern of neural  connections or neural firing. Neuroscientists call that a long-term potentiation pattern. Okay, but  can we change long-term potentiation patterns?

Well, until 20 years ago scientists thought that we  could not, until they discovered something called memory reconsolidation. Memory reconsolidation is a  process through which the proteins that hold that pattern together become temporarily unlocked which  allows that pattern to be opened to being changed or even dissolved altogether. That open state of  learning lasts a few hours, at which point the proteins once again glue things back into place or  reconsolidate the memory.

So it's probably already clear to you why this science is so important to  any conversation around healing. Most of our issues are not because we aren't smart enough to know the  truth, or make the right choices, or that we're just being too lazy to change. When we struggle, it's  because something got deeply imprinted.

We have a long-term potentiation pattern or imprint that  is tangling us up. Just as an example, you know many people say I have trouble knowing what I feel.  That's not a choice on their part, it's because the arrival of emotion got tangled with anxiety and  therefore with automatic numbing, let's say.

These kinds of imprints can be very disempowering, so the  fact that we now know we can change them is huge. So what creates this window for change,  what's called the "reconsolidation window. " Well, there are two requirements: one, you have  to activate the original knowing or association.

You have to send electricity down that neural  pathway, which you can do as simply as becoming conscious of it, and two, witness some evidence that  proves that its prediction is wrong. In laboratory research they call that new contradictory  evidence "the mismatch. " Sometimes we call it "the disconfirmation.

" When our original association or  prediction is activated and then confronted with a disconfirmation, in other words, with evidence  that proves the prediction is wrong, the proteins that held those particular neurons together  unlock such that the association or prediction or unconscious belief can be permanently erased.  I know that is a lot of science to throw at you, but the bottom line is that when we can activate  or become aware of a deep emotional knowing like: "oh, if I let myself be angry I'll turn into  my rage-aholic father," while simultaneously reflecting on an experience that disconfirms  that association, like "oh, I did just touch into my anger and actually stayed really grounded  and clear-headed through the entire process. " That moment of kind of surprise unlocks memory  reconsolidation.

In other words, it allows for a very deep form of neuroplasticity, such that the  brain can finally let go of basically the fear conditioning it's been holding onto. Okay, so what  does this conversation about memory consolidation have to do with AEDP? Well, because I believe  AEDP is so transformative, perhaps in large part, because the process is set up in a way that  makes memory reconsolidation very likely to occur.

Certainly in terms of our expectations around  whether it's safe to know or share our emotions, which we'll talk about in this video, but then  perhaps around all sorts of other emotional learnings and beliefs as well, which I will  hopefully be making another video on soon. Now set aside therapy for just a moment, I will say  that in truth we have experiences that contradict our unconscious expectations all the time, but  for our brain to take in that fact and update its reality accordingly, in other words, for us  to have the mismatch experience: one, we have to be emotionally regulated, which in AEDP we are in a  way that we usually aren't in real life when these places get triggered, and two, we must really notice  the contradiction. We must notice the contrast between the expectation and the reality of what is  happening.

This is why Fosha says it isn't enough for people to have a healing experience, they have  to notice that they had it. Now interestingly, Fosha made that comment long before we were all talking  about memory reconsolidation. It's like she had a clinical intuition about it before we knew  the science, but because she had that insight, I think the way she designed the model just makes  memory reconsolidation very likely to unfold.

So let me remind you of how she designed the model  and then we can link that to this conversation. Okay, so AEDP works through a four-state progression. In state one, the client comes in with whatever stuckness or distress they are bringing to the  table.

If I could use the imagery from before I'd say they come up tangled up in their tangled spot. Now, as a therapist helps them get detangled, for instance from shame, or anxiety, or from their  defenses, or states of overwhelm, then it is possible to move from state 1 to state 2, where the  deeper authentic emotions underneath are accessed. In state 2, the client is supported in deeply  moving through whatever wave of emotion is present.

Now, for reasons we described in the last video,  that movement through one's deep authentic emotion is often an utterly new experience. Why?  Because people are so used to existing in state one.

In other words, either not touching their  emotions much at all or if they do touch into some emotion, it being laced with shame or anxiety,  right, the things that we got tangled up with, such that it will likely just feel bad. However, when we  can finally be with pure emotion in a way that is all about connecting more deeply to ourselves  and another person, it really feels wonderful. In fact, after moving through core affect, what  emerges is state 3, where we experience all these amazing feelings such as joy, pride,  lightness, gratitude, you know, feeling moved, or open.

Fosha calls these emotions the transformational  affects and in AEDP, these emotions, these positive feelings that follow on the heels of our core  affect, are given just as much attention and time to be mindfully processed as well. This is  done during what is called "metaprocessing. " Let me give you an example of what metaprocessing  work might look like.

"So how are you feeling now? " "Now, I'm feeling, gosh, so much relief. " "Okay, just  stay with that relief, your body shifts, huh?

" "Yeah, it's like I can breathe, like  something really deeply shifted. " "Well, let's stay with that now too. Are you willing  to just notice the shift, to sort of inhabit it?

" "Yeah, it just feels really good. " What kind  of good, like what are you feeling inside? " "I don't know, I just find myself sitting  taller.

It's like very open through my chest. " "So just stay with the taller and open and see what  that's like. Is there an emotion with that?

" "Yeah, I think it's pride. I'm a little embarrassed  to say that, but that's what it feels like. " "Oh gosh, I hope we can make space for that because  I'm actually feeling some pride myself, like proud of us, in a way, because we really did something  together, which just strikes me as really beautiful.

What's that like to hear me say? " "Yeah, you know  that's really moving to think about, just makes me feel really warmly toward you. I'm really  grateful" and on and on.

You know, when I'm teaching my students about metaprocessing the positive  emotions in this way, they always ask, "okay, but how long do you just explore how good it feels to be  in therapy, or really to be healing" and I tell them well just as long as the client is still noticing  things to describe next. There's no need to rush the process. It's a deep exploration, one that will  largely center on emotions being explored in the body, but can also include new reflections and  insights.

Either way, there's no reason to rush this piece, in fact, it can take a good chunk of the  session. Now, in a moment we'll talk about what this has to do with memory reconsolidation, but first let me  point out this piece of work is perhaps what makes AEDP stand out from other emotion focused models. In  other words, while AEDP has made many contributions to our field, the technique of metaprocessing  is perhaps the most unique.

In most therapies, the moment the client feels better it's like "okay,  what other problem do you want to work on next. " But then this huge opportunity is missed to not only  enjoy some well-earned pleasure but also to get the full healing benefit. So when I'm teaching this  to my students, I don't care what kind of therapy they're doing, the moment there is a shift for the  better it should be explored.

Sometimes I have this image of clients swimming through their emotions  but then suddenly landing on this beautiful island. Sometimes I even describe that to them. I tell  them, look, you've worked hard to arrive at this new place, you don't have to just quickly leave  it.

Why not really explore it. You know, what can you see from here? What can you feel?

What can you  do now that didn't seem possible before? You know like what is it like to be you from here? Why is  it important to extend this moment?

Well, because it's so ripe for disconfirmations and therefore  mismatch experiences. After all, arriving at this wonderful new island is not what people's  unconscious brains would have predicted upon diving into the water of their emotions. In fact,  the prediction might have been something like: "I'll drown.

" So the fact that the emotional processing  took them somewhere so much better than they ever would have imagined, really needs to be noticed,  almost like confronting the new experience head on, so it can shake up our unconscious reality.  Remember it is the process of our brain witnessing some mismatch, in this case, the mismatch between  what we expected and what actually happened, that it opens the neurons that hold the original  pattern in place, so that a whole new reality can be integrated. One in which we are able to feel  what we feel and know what we know.

The reason I phrased it that way is there is this beautiful  Bowlby quote about insecure attachment that says: "the child learns to not feel what she feels or  know what she knows. " That kind of old learning can be undone in a moment if the situation is set  up right. And what kind of setup is just right?

Again, one in which our old learnings and some  new learning can consciously stand in contrast. Now, during metaprocessing this contrast is quite  likely to become apparent, where the newness of the experience is so surprising that it just naturally  brings to mind: "wow, this is not what I would have predicted! " After all metaprocessing has the term  meta in it because we are processing the process.

We are standing in, and reflecting upon, the piece  of healing work we just did. When we take time for that and let the goodness of the experience  really be embodied, and reflected upon, the surprising beauty of it all can then more boldly  stand in contrast to the original expectation. Now because I'm also trained in Coherence Therapy,  which is specifically designed with memory reconsolidation in mind, when I am metaprocessing,  I tend to do just a little extra due diligence with this piece by simply asking: "Was this what  you expected?

" Because remember, you want electricity running through the original network or prediction  at the same time as it's witnessing the mismatch. Or I might say something like: "You know at the  beginning of session when you were anxious upon my asking about your emotions, would that anxious part  of you have predicted it would have felt like this? " Again, it's useful to guide the clients to  remember what they originally expected so that as they sit in the new experience, a mismatch  is more likely to be detected by the brain.

In Coherence Therapy we call that creating a  juxtaposition experience and I integrate it into my IFS work as well, again just to go the  extra mile to assure that memory reconsolidation is fully unlocked. But, with or without that  particular addition, this kind of exploring the newness and allowing ourselves to fully embody  and reflect upon what we are experiencing during therapy, is what meta processing is all about.  It's about giving the brain the chance to fully witness the surprise ending.

Now, even if we  didn't do metaprocessing, it's possible that memory reconsolidation might happen anyway, it's  just less likely or reliable. Again, this is why I encourage people to integrate metaprocessing into  any kind of healing work that they do. It really works to make sure that the emotionally corrective  experience is fully corrective.

Now, most of what I've described so far has to do with updating  our unconscious beliefs around whether it's safe to feel what we feel and connect emotionally  with another person, but during this process it is very likely that other unconscious beliefs  might be updated as well. That's because when we're doing emotional processing work, we have the  chance to revisit key parts of our narrative so that they can become more complex, and nuanced, and  life-affirming. That happens in state 4, where we are able to simply be, reflect, you know tap into  deep wisdom, and look back on the rich exploration that just preceded this moment for the purpose  of what's called "autobiographical reconstruction.

" Now, my plan was to record a video on that very  topic today but when I started writing the outline I realized it is such a rich topic and there's  so much I want to say about it! I just want to take a little more time to think it all through.  But before I end, I would like to give sort of the bottom line in terms of what that next video  might hold.

You know, when we're processing things emotionally, it isn't just for the sake of  updating our relationship around emotions. It's also for the sake of returning to important  moments in our life and when we return to those places, or parts of ourselves, or experience we  find that these parts not only hold on to emotion they're also holding on to the things we learned  about ourself, or even just about life, during the emotional moments. Like if we tap into the pain  of dad having left at age eight, not only is it beautiful to process that pain and not only will  doing so undo our fear of emotions and our core aloneness, it's also a chance to realize that  when he left I took on the belief that it was my fault.

In other words, when we return to painful  moments, not only do we find pain, we find stories, our unconscious narratives. However, after  we have moved through the emotional arc of witnessing the pain we are in a brain state  that is particularly able to look at things in a new way, you know to take in context, to view  things with complexity. Why?

Because by the end of the work we've landed in a state that is,  not only positively valenced, but by the end settles into a deep kind of presence filled  with contentment and compassion, and there's a lot of research to show that positive emotions,  especially on their more quiet side, prime our brain to attend to context and complexity and  look at things with deeper creativity and clarity. In other words, that final core state has such  wisdom available to it that as we reflect on the negative stories or meanings we've unconsciously  taken on, it is very likely that we will be able to come up with a new perspective that is deep enough  to serve as a disconfirmation, thereby triggering memory reconciliation. In other words, I believe AEDP  works not only to update our unconscious beliefs around emotions, you know an emotional closeness  as being safe, but potentially on all other kinds of unconscious beliefs as well, so that the whole  story of our life can change.

The reason I just wanted to kind of squish this point in here at the  end, even though I'd really prefer to make a whole separate video on it, is because the main thrust  of this video, in which we explored how AEDP works to activate memory reconsolidation by offering  a new, disconfirming experience of emotions and relationship, that's a point that has already been  written about by my mentor, Bruce Ecker, who is the main person to discuss therapeutic approaches  through the lens of memory consolidation. My students and I meet with Bruce every other  week for two hours just to talk about memory reconsolidation and how it can be used clinically, but I haven't seen him write about that second point and that could just be because he's not  an AEDP therapist. I just think there's a little more detail here to be explored around how AEDP  helps us remap all sorts of unconscious imprints, even those not necessarily related to emotion  or attachment.

So thanks for letting me bring in a little bit of that point right here at the end  with hopefully more to follow. My name is DrTori Olds and I truly appreciate your watching. [Music]  Thanks so much for watching!

If you're enjoying my content and would like to support my efforts to  make videos on a more regular basis I'm excited to announce that I just created a Patreon page,  which I will link to below. I'm always learning more than I have time to make polished videos  about, so by becoming a Patron you will have access to more informal content including  deep dives into specific topics, as well as more personal reflections. Patrons will also have  the chance to join smaller study groups where we can connect and discuss what we've been learning  together.