I Quietly Left After Discovering My Wife’s Affair After 3.5 Years....-Reddit Cheating Stories

I quietly left after discovering my wife's Affair after three and a half years of marriage a year later my ghosted ex-wife tracked me down after hearing of my wife's adultery I moved to the hills I'm not sure why I'm writing this but perhaps it will be helpful to someone now that the incident is over and I've moved on after 3 and a half years of marriage I learned of my wife's Affair in February 2018 I worked a contract job that occasionally required a lot of travel but also permitted me to work from home when I

returned as a director of a technical sales company my wife held a very lucrative position although things had become a little strained due to her working longer and longer hours and me traveling for work we still had what I would call a fairly excellent marriage background 5 years ago at a cookout hosted by a mutual acquaintance I met my wife who is now my ex we immediately clicked after we started talking to be honest I felt that being with a woman who was so attractive and articulate was a huge Advantage my rough around the edges

demeanor somehow appealed to her after a few weeks of dating we found ourselves smitten with one another when we would meet at each other's Apartments the clothes simply flew off after 18 months of dating we eventually got married and moved into a large apartment while saving for a down payment on a home things began to change after the first three years of marriage even though I still had feelings for her I noticed that she would argue over little matters when I mentioned all the late hours and the increasingly regular work outings she would grow I

rate since she had been moving up the corporate ladder she would claimed that it was a necessary component of paying the dues at least that was her justification she informed me that since I was also away for weeks at a time I had no right to challenge her in reality I had only been taking vacations for 3 or 4 days every 5 weeks or so so I assured her that I could definitely manage cutting back on my travel time there was never a conclusion to these highly circular arguments looking back I realized that I was

unaware that my wife was having an affair aside from our declining sexual life and her persistently late work hours I would never have suspected anything I simply assumed that she was exhausted from her job but being rejected so often when I tried to start a sexual relationship had taken a toll on my ego although she had a work mobile phone and might have been using it I didn't witness the covert texting that I had read about in other articles she used our spare bedroom as a home office and spent a lot of time there around

September 2017 Kathy began returning home from work and spending the evening at a work engagement Instead This increased from one night per week to over three nights each week although I'm not naturally envious she would undoubtedly be observed by others and I'm aware that she would need to repel some of the males at her workplace despite working with more male CEOs than female ones she gave off the impression that she was primarily engaged in her job the first time I suspected she was cheating was a month prior to D-Day before returning home she had made

a brief stop at the supermarket I was asked to assist her with the grocery shopping something pink was glinting from just beneath the front passenger seat of her her automobile as I was retrieving a few items from the rear seat it was a bra that belonged to my wife she preferred ones from a certain clothing store so I knew it was hers looking back I can see the bra was a warning sign she always removes her bra first from under her clothes when she's feeling very lustful I'm not sure why but when I watched this

I felt sick to my stomach right away I couldn't understand why her bra was beneath the seat I didn't say anything more my heart must have been pounding so hard that I nearly passed out because when I brought the bags back to the kitchen Cathy asked me how I was feeling and said that I appeared to have seen a ghost I simply ignored her remark it took everything I had to conceal my emotions but I did my best not to appear upset or deceived I made the decision to try to find out whether or not

she was seeing someone that night and the following day I began to consider all the hints I could have overlooked other than the bra I had no evidence she works in an office building downtown and we live in a reasonably big city I made the decision to temporarily put the affair idea out of my mind and consider giving her more of my attention I prepared a delicious meal and arranged the dining table with elegant plates silverware and candles one Friday after work I purchased an arrangement of flowers and a lovely bottle of wine I pointed

out the dinner and everything I had made when she arrived as usual breezing in after work she apologized and said she was sorry but she had to go to a neighborhood Hangout to meet up with her co-workers she mentioned that she needed to take a shower first but that she could have a small snack with me before she left I guess I went utterly silent because my insides flipped on me I won't explain the type of anger I was experiencing at the time but I had had enough I took my work cell phone and threw

it in her back seat while she was taking a shower I had been considering this as a means of using my own phone to find her I walked into the kitchen after that and threw the food and flowers in the garbage after taking a shower she got ready and looked stunning as always all right letun eat she said never mind go out with your friends I UR she asked me if I was angry after giving me a weird look I'm sad that you never want to do anything with me I said she got upset and

sarcastically remarked on my short fuse while telling me to stop acting like a kid I muttered foolish me as I stood there allowing everything to settle in for once I felt we should spend the evening together she simply gave me a Sly smile and stormed off I pulled out my second phone and began following my work phone when she departed about 20 minutes away at the bar she often visits with her co-workers I caught her stopping I made the decision to go find her automobile indeed it was in the parking lot of the bar I

waited to see if I could see her in my car across the street I felt completely different like a stalker but I told myself that I had to calm my fear of her whereabouts I observed her leaving the bar with a man about an hour after I got there he had the appearance of an executive from her company he took hold of her Drew her near and planted a kiss on her lips my body was totally numb and my stomach started to clench up up they went to a different vehicle and climbed in together when

their automobile pulled out I tried to keep up with them you guessed it they drove to a hotel 10 minutes away as I stopped on the street beside the hotel I saw them exit holding hands and enter I'd seen enough I felt foolish I began pounding the steering wheel with my fist that was it something went totally blank inside of me I'm not sure if I had an outof body experience or blacked out but as I got better I felt like I wanted a drink at this point point my life started on a path I

never would have imagined I simply began to drive out of town replaying all that I had just seen I was crying out of anger as much as I hate to admit it I located a pleasant Little Tavern on the outskirts of town some 30 Mi away and stopped in I ordered a drink while seated at the bar the bartender a lady said that I looked like someone had taken the wind out of my Sals so I guess I looked like death warmed over I answered half smiling you could say that a man sat down bes

IDE me and struck up a discussion even though I didn't feel like talking there was something about this guy that put me at ease we struck up a conversation and eventually my wife's infidelity came up I told her that all I wanted to do was get away from her and forget about her you're not alone buddy he replied giving me a backpad after giving me a quick glance I experienced that a few years ago I think there's a reason why these things occur your life can now take a positive or negative turn I assure you

at this point everything is totally up to you his remarks for some reason jolted me out of my Gloom even though I was aware of my pain I've always been able to see things rationally and he was absolutely correct we identified ourselves Ry was his name I really liked his salt ofth Earth Vibe even though he was more of a country guyh are you going to move out he inquired I suppose I never thought to look that far ahead I had a fight ORF flight response going on and I knew I didn't want to be

around this woman any longer I have an idea and I feel very sympath athetic to your situation Ray added when the time comes I have a mobile trailer on my land in case you feel the need to go it might require some work and isn't very good why don't you visit and see if you could imagine yourself briefly residing in anything like that I'll give you a terrific bargain on it at least you could even park it on a lovely piece of property I own I would appreciate it if you could watch it for me

it could be beneficial to escape your predicament just a thought I took a moment to comprehend his concept hell honey if I could have escaped my crazy ex-husband years ago I would have jumped at the chance to go live in his trailer or anything just to get my head on straight added the bartender who had been listening in on the chat perhaps this was just what I needed but I felt as though I had wandered into the Twilight Zone yes I'll think about it and maybe check it out I said to Ry after a while

we split up and agreed to get together at his house in a few days I began to feel as though I had some perspective and an opportunity to escape what I thought was a terrible heartache combined with a night M I knew one thing for sure I would never ever want to spend time with my wife again I find cheating to be so disgusting and it has always been the one thing I thought I would never put up with I sat on the couch when I arrived home that evening after Cathy Cathy asked me where

I had been when she came out where have you been I questioned turning to face her you know I went to grab drinks she said I directly inquired are you having an affair she appeared surprised but she soon collected herself and responded no why would you ask me that I informed her that I had heard she might be seeing someone at work who told you that she said someone I know I said but I kept the name a secret after saying you're being ridiculous she accused me of being intoxicated and insane and inquired about my

wearabouts we're going to a bar to enjoy some drinks with our friends I remarked despite her obvious desire to ask more questions she returned to our bedroom and went to bed now that I had proof that she had been deceiving me for months I made the decision to sleep on the sofa I couldn't sleep at all because I kept seeing her in bed with this guy I felt sorry for myself disgusted and hurt but then I thought about Ray's trailer the thought of it cheered me up and it was almost like a revelation something must

be wrong with me since the fight ORF flight response automatically activated amid the pain I was experiencing and I preferred the flight response we didn't talk much the following morning and carried on with the weekend as if nothing had occurred I scheduled a meeting with Ry a few days later I noticed that Ry had a lovely ranch when I got there and the trailer was actually quite nice about 26 ft long and fully furnished it brought back memories of a fun spring break trip I took with Pals while I was in college Ray accepted the

money I offered him for the trailer to be honest I almost took it from him I drove over to see his Ranch property after he gave me directions there were hiking and biking paths close by and the area was lovely with lots of trees and scrub vegetation Ry had a little cabin on a Hilltop overlooking the property with electricity and water accessible for the trailer and it was close to the foothills of some mountains Ray promised to set up the trailer for me and pull it to the location I tried to get Kathy to come

clean over the course of the following few weeks but all I got was gaslighting I even bluntly warned her that there would be no turning back if I discovered she was cheating as a result she became even more engrossed in her Affair fog and began to lash out at me with denials I nearly laughed at how awful the denial was I scolded myself for not capturing pictures of the two of them and I had no tangible evidence that she had cheated I decided that I wanted to leave this marriage after going through this emotional anguish

instead of communicating my feelings to Cathy I simply began planning while she was at work I started quietly removing my possessions from the apartment and transferring them to the trailer at least I felt like I was doing something about it I saw a difference in Cathy during this period although she had been behaving more politely toward me I believed it was too little too late I felt I needed a break too so she kept going on company outings after work one night I got ready too just as she was leaving after glancing at me she

inquired about my destination all I said was meeting up with some friends you wouldn't enjoy all the shop talk and you don't know them I interrupted her as she began to ask more questions she used to say precisely this to me whenever I asked if I might accompany her on office excursions all right have a good time she added with a somewhat offended expression I definitely will I replied I began making newt aanes while working on the trailer and hanging out with Ry at the bar I felt better after spending time with Rey's wonderful family

and friends I also made the decision to cut back on my drinking because I didn't want to form any unhealthy habits I knew better than to drown myself in sympathy even though it would have been so simple at this point Cathy informed me that the next week she would be traveling for work she stated the executive team and a few department heads were going when I inquired who was going I hope you have a great time with your boyfriend I added glancing at her I immediately regretted saying that because it sparked a furious argument although

as Ry had informed me it didn't really matter I now regret not knowing more about her Affair partner AP it doesn't matter who the other guy is Ry replied the fact that she chose to leave you is all that matters she destroyed the marriage whether she admits it or not brother facts are facts Ry ought to write a book for the Betrayed damn it I had the ideal opportunity to move out entirely during Cathy's work vacation when she was gone I collected everything valuable that was mine including clothes laptops and equipment I didn't take any

shared Goods or Furniture I left a note before I left it was a lengthy explanation at first but I chose to make it brief I wrote I hope it was worth it on a piece of paper on top of the note on the kitchen table I set my wedding ring I felt like a great weight had been lifted as I left I was liberated the hurt would take time to heal and there would be baggage to cope with but I had started I needed time to myself and to swiftly and quietly get rid of her

the fact that I hadn't challenged her or coerced a confession didn't make me proud I hadn't screamed or shouted she didn't deserve it in my opinion she disregarded everything we owned including our plans for the future our aspirations for a home and a family and now it was all gone there was no turning back I owed her absolutely nothing she could handle the consequences I hadn't planned anything or called a lawyer I just wanted a new beginning and some clarity the air from the mountains was just what I needed when I got inside my trailer

I resumed running the next week and it was wonderful to be alive Cathy texted things like we just landed we're having a team dinner and so on while she was away where are you was the question in a few mails why haven't you gotten back to me I didn't answer my phone exploded with calls and texts when she got home she kept trying to get in touch with me but I ignored her her mother also tried to phone me after the first day but but I didn't pick up she didn't try to engage my father

because we aren't close and he is the only member of my family that I still have her messages grew more urgent after she was ignored for a week what is this was one of the texts she sent we must speak I'm not sure what you believe you know but nothing is happening there isn't an affair going on she finally texted me after a week of not answering saying I'm sorry things got out of hand it didn't matter that I was involved with someone at work you were absent a lot while I was preoccupied with my

work I simply made an error I intended to terminate it an error I had been waiting for this confession all along yet somehow it only made me detest her more why was she unable to be truthful I didn't have any dreams about a future with this woman errors don't persist for 68 or a year her pleas for me to return and work on the marriage eventually grew pitiful I refused to respond to her even after she stopped bothering me for a few weeks I didn't want her to learn where I lived or to Snoop around

in my life I didn't want my Haven to be destroyed by this woman she then began sending nasty texts like you're a coward one day you refused to speak to me you have no regard for us come home please so we can discuss you're where I am able to visit you Paul please let's chat and make things right damn it although I don't recall all of the texts they all appeared to be excuses with minimal genuine regret in one ear I let them go and in the other out after a while I switched my mobile

number update June 2018 I received an email from Cathy informing me that she had hired a lawyer and was going to file for divorce I just said okay that sounds good this led to a barrage of emails requesting that I visit her and other things she wrote that she would stop bothering me if I consented to an uncontested divorce after realizing this wouldn't work after I consented I was genuinely free a few months later after I moved out of our apartment I never had to see her again she seemed to care more about that than

I did even though neither of us had any closure I would occasionally think of her for a few months and yes the grief would suddenly come to me like when I heard a song we used to enjoy after a while though I simply stopped thinking about her update two now that I'm officially divorced things are going great in actuality I got to know a wonderful girl just down the hill from my house I was running on the trail we clicked when I helped her replace a flat tire despite being a few years younger than me

she is fantastic and quite adorable she refers to me as her Mountain Man and adores my way of life although I'm not in a rush to commit I also don't intend to give up on women entirely I have no intention of moving out of the trailer anytime soon I enjoy being outside and have simplified my life it made everything easier for me including the grief and my ex-wife I am aware that everyone responds to these situations in a unique way I was fortunate to be in my third year of marriage and not yet a parent

I believe I acted in my own best interests you don't have to spend your entire life with someone who cheats If you experience something similar try not to think about it too much continue living your life as you improve yourself it will get better I hope everyone has the finest possible life I've revised this roughly five times to make it readable and I just wanted to give you an update on my ex-wife's condition I was worried that my ex-wife was attempting to find me as I indicated in my earlier post I left our previous residence

which was around 2 hours away I ran into her last weekend at a coffee shop I often visit in the town close to my home it didn't seem like a coincidence to me fortunately I managed to get away before she noticed me third update I went into town this past weekend to get groceries and made a stop at my normal coffee establishment I was utilizing their free internet to work on some paperwork for work I finished and walked out of the coffee shop I was on my way to my pickup when I heard someone shout

Paul when I turned to look across the street I saw Kathy I was being waved at by my ex-wife finally Armageddon had arrived she hurried across the street toward me and I stood there in disbelief as though anticipating an Embrace she walked over and extended her hand I stopped her in her tracks by instinctively holding out my arms with my Palms up she appeared to be in severe pain then she added I've been searching for you Paul I've wanted to see you since I heard you moved here can we have a conversation guys I felt

like an animal confined in a cage yes I did all right let's find a table or something and we can talk for a minute I finally gave in when she asked if we could come to my house I firmly refused at the end of the street she trailed me down to a bench outside a small store she began by remarking on how much I had changed and how much she liked my new appearance beard and level of Fitness she raved about how much my body had changed wearing a tank top small white shorts and her

hair and a ponytail just like I used to enjoy she was really putting on the charm I had my radar set High she was clearly attempting to activate the sex appeal I needed to control myself so I could see where this was headed she began by saying she was sorry about the affair she claimed that after I left Karma had severely impacted her when her employer learned of the affair the situation became so tense that she eventually resigned her Affair partner AP who at the time was engaged received criticism and was transferred to a different

department within the organization she replied by telling his fiance the truth after he blamed her for everything which caused them to split up this is when she bowed her head and began to weep I didn't say anything I just sat there and looked around she stood up straight and looked at me for a while what do you want from me I asked she assured me that she had no intention of having an affair she stated that the company's politics and positioning Drew her in and that her AP used his charm and influence to corrupt her

she acknowledged that she felt she was taking advantage of him as much as he was taking advantage of her after I accused her of cheating she stated that she intended to come clean she drank after work to ease the guilt she felt at the moment because she loathed herself she claimed that she felt so stupid so alone and as like her heart had burst with loss immediately after I departed she ended her relationship with her AP right away she believed she had to find me to see if there was any chance of reconciliation because I

refused to speak with her or get in touch with her she desired a fresh start she hoped we could start aesh even though she knew we were divorced I simply gazed at her I then gave it to her you have no right to come out here and undo all the harm you have done do you think I'll Overlook everything you did to destroy our Union as I previously stated we were done if you cheated forgiveness does not exist this relationship will not be restarted you murdered it as soon as you left me you ruined everything

we had how foolish do you believe me to be one evening I watched you enter a hotel with him were you aware of that I became aware that people were beginning to notice that my voice had been getting louder she grabbed my arm and started crying after letting her SOB on my shoulder for a while I pushed her away I deserve all this she replied glancing up at me I am certain that I do if nothing else would you allow me to take you out to dinner I'd rather not go I would like to speak

further I want to make sure that we are transparent about everything you need to spend more time with me than you have in the past Paul please I love you so much even though I know you might not want to hear it before you left me I had no idea how much I loved you you broke me as much as I broke you I'm unable to forgive myself and I don't want to do so till the day I pass away she began to sob uncontrollably and hyperventilate I lifted her up and gave her a hug

it seemed like my only option for soothing her I knew then that I had shattered her heart as severely as she had shattered mine walking we found a peaceful spot to carry on our conversation I said how did you find me when she had calmed down have you engaged a private investigator after giving it some thought she responded no with a small giggle she clarified that she asked how things were going when she ran into Stacy a few weeks prior Stacy didn't mention that she had noticed me Cathy forced her to reveal all the information

I had warned Stacy not to tell her so she was reluctant but Kathy persisted Stacy finally gave in but all she knew was that I lived somewhere close by and was in town on her days off she began to come here to check on me I kind of laughed when she said that thinking damn Stacy can't keep her trap shut she blushed we ultimately decided to have dinner at a Charming little spot with a patio I made sure we didn't drink anything since I wasn't going to give her a reason to be kind to me

or say she wasn't so inebriated that she couldn't drive back in fact we had a good conversation I then escorted her to her vehicle she insisted that she hadn't dated anyone else since I left and vowed fervently that I was the only person she wanted so she pushed me hard to stay longer no it's still way too early for me to go down that road I informed her she pleaded with me to come back but I didn't say yes after giving her my new email address I didn't say anything more my response to her request

for my phone number was you'll just blow it up with texts and calls she wept over it but in the end she agreed with my choice she promised to send me an email with information on returning to Town the following weekend before she left I asked her directly would you have forgiven me if I had been the one cheating before she got into her car yes in time but only if we saw a marriage counselor and worked through the healing process with lots of talking maybe even a binding agreement she responded after pausing to reflect

all right maybe I could do that in 5 or 10 years I answered I would wait if that's what it would take she replied she then took both of my hands in hers looked me in the eye and said God damn it Paul I will always love you and will do anything to prove it this statement truly caught me off guard her remarks continued to upset me even after she left she had spoken those words so firmly however I was still unable to Envision us reuniting even though I felt better about the incident I was

unable to perceive her as a friend at this time perhaps a friend but even that was a mystery I returned home enjoyed a long run had some beer and thought about how far I had come could someone please assure me that she wouldn't destroy the Tranquility I had created for myself I had no idea I had the luxury of time to sort through it and and get perspective but it was all still too Vivid in my mind last update most likely this will be my final update when I first uploaded my story to Reddit the

moderators kept taking it down in summary I ghosted my ex-wife for more than a year before she discovered me she wanted to make amends and start over with us you will be deeply disappointed if you thought I would be the typical beta blue pill fool and forgive her she expressed her Love And Regret for the affair in a lengthy email she sent me last week she offered to come out and stay with me for the weekend once more my answer I silenced her I informed her that I had no plans to make amends with her

I'm totally happy living alone taking advantage of my secluded position and keeping things simple at 32 I'm not in a rush to make changes I have my own self-determination plan and have enjoyed the company of a few women and friends I made it clear in my email response that I had no intention of reconciling and declined to provide her with my phone number I no longer know or trust you because you made your bed I hope the best for you and perhaps we might become friends in the future but not right now she was annoyed

by my evasiveness and responded in a telling way she acknowledged that she had taken a job offer from a different state her true goal had been for me to accompany her believing that my remote work would make the move simple she wished we could start over somewhere new she wanted to visit me in person to attempt to persuade me because she was running out of time before moving luckily for me her time was up because I had a week of business travel scheduled I'm grateful I will no longer have her in my life she will

soon recognize that her time with me is over but I anticipate receiving a few more emails she'll need to find someone else and she might even cheat on them to anyone reading this make the most of your life let go of the past and give yourself the strength to go on to all of you good luck thank you for watching if you haven't subscribed yet please do so and hit the notification Bell to stay updated with more shocking real life stories happening around you