so our only goal should be not to infringe on Free Will and be true to our Free Will that's the one standard we have to apply to every relationship if we want balance you are not obligated to be in relationship with anyone not your mom not your dad not your partner not even your own children nobody is required to be a part of your life God wants you to have the freedom to create your reality you have all the right to not want that person to be in your life anymore so you can absolutely cut
people out of your life without creating negative Karma but if you don't you do create negative Karma why CU you're not balanced [Music] yet so this subject of spiritual balancing in our relationships has a lot of new Nuance to it that we need to understand because if we don't have a good grasp for how the nuances work how the practical application works then the concept can't really do us a whole lot of good right we can talk about these Concepts that we teach here all day long but at the end of the day if we
don't really know how to apply them practically to our life then what good are they really doing us right so since we all know here that embodiment is the name of the game that we're all playing not just learning but embodiment then it's really only how we apply a concept that really matters or benefits Us in any way so the really cool thing is if we have a concept that is based in truth even if we don't really understand it or H like have its application down yet it's still just kind of a mental idea
that we're playing with we like it we resonate with it but we're not really sure how to fully apply it the cool thing is the universe will totally meet us there and it will begin to teach you how to use and apply this concept you're holding on to this is how the intelligence of Life acts on our behalf we're always being guided we're always being taught but are you paying attention is the only question and so this is how I have learned every concept that I teach here you know many years ago I read the
law of one for the first first time about 10 years ago and I found all of these brilliant incredible Concepts that I resonated with so much and yet you know even the basic idea of positive negative polarity you know I read that in the law of one and all the descriptions about it I'm like yeah I get this this makes sense there's two polarities of course there are you know we have archetypes of Good and Evil in every religion from ancient times to today of course there's polarity but I didn't really understand how that concept
applied to my day-to-day life and literally polarity influences every thought every feeling every action every event in the universe but I wasn't seeing that I just had this idea of polarity that I wasn't able to translate yet into my life but it was in process yeah and so now today everywhere I look literally all I see are the workings of the two polarities I cannot unsee it I see it in every statement people make as as people speak to me there's an awareness also happening of what kind of charge is behind their words whether it's
positive or negative and this is very useful awareness to have to be of service to people right because if I can feel into the energy behind their words or actions I'm much better equipped to help them where they are right so I want to gain this awareness of polarity but I have to be able to embody it right not just know about it as a mental concept and that takes time and practice and learning and trial and error but this is what the universe is doing for all of us the moment you resonate with a
truth a concept A Principle as long as that principle is based in truth like polarity then the Universe goes right to work integrating it into your awareness it's bringing you every event and Circumstance and relationship that you need to see those principles at play so you can go oh I see how polarity influenced that whole conversation wow now I'm getting it who can relate this is the difference between the two components of our SQ awareness of Truth and then embodiment of that truth or that awareness we have to we definitely have to be aware that
polarity exists and we have to understand it and mentally know the the basics of it right so that it can start making a home in us so the the awareness the understanding is the masculine principle absolutely essential but if we just have that we don't have complete SQ yet we need to translate that learning to embodiment which only happens I will repeat which only happens through our life experiences and how we show up in our life to apply the truth so with all that being said spiritual balancing is one of the most important Concepts that
my life has studiously taught me day in and day out since the moment I learned about this concept from the law of one I was so intrigued of spiritual balancing wow this resonates for some reason this really feels like the main task we're given in this life is to balance everything with love but I don't really know how to do that or how how that applies to practical situations so you've got to learn day by day Moment by moment right but almost not a day goes by that I don't learn something about spiritual balancing and
the Dynamics of it right the application of it there's always a new insight coming through and this is what I want for all of you so if you love these teachings if you long to embody them then your life will and already is teaching you how to do that you just have to pay attention so for today's lesson I'm going to share with you some of the important dynamics that life has taught me specifically as it pertains to spiritual balancing in relationships so we know that every human relationship has its own unique balance right because
every every person's unique so you can't have the exact same identical relationship with any two people and that should be obvious you can't and shouldn't have the same relationship with your wife or husband or partner that you have with your best friend or your parents right I mean that's pretty obvious so every relationship is a unique balance and you have to find what that unique balance is but it's like what is it based on what is balance based on in any relationship and it's this balance is based upon the level of maturity or development of
both Souls involved in the relationship why because we have to meet people where they're at so for example many people in our lives right are very young Souls maybe they're unconscious of who they are they're still identified with ego they're not really on a conscious spiritual path yet so what does a balanced relationship look like with those kind of people in our lives well if someone hasn't matured very much spirit spiritually then having balance with an unconscious person who's heavily identified with their ego is going to look very different than balance with a very spiritually
mature person so if we want to be in loving relationship with anybody the first thing we have to be able to do is be aware of where they're at first discipline so spiritual balancing as we learn it here has to do with these three disciplines of the personality from the law of one know thyself love thyself and then once you've done those two things then you can become the Creator if you're still a victim in any way at all you can't become the Creator you can't move on to the third discipline we have to know
ourselves and love ourselves completely and then we can truly create from our preference the same disciplines apply to every relationship first we got to know where somebody's at we've got to be aware of who and where they are and then two we have to accept them where they are and this is the biggest problem in our difficult relationship right it's basically just the difficulty to just accept where somebody is that can be a big challenge right because we want them to be more mature than they are we want them to be more loving than they
are and yet they're not and so are we to deny reality and fight against reality and force them to be more loving and force spiritual Concepts down their throat whether they like it or not it's for their own good that doesn't sound very loving does it but that's what spiritual ego wants to do right it wants to shove everyone shove our Concepts down everybody's throat you've got to believe what I believe you've got to see the truth that I see if you don't I'm going to make you see it and all these passive aggressive ways
we punish people for their lack of spiritual maturity we try to expose their their judgments and biases the spiritual ego can run wild with our own spiritual Concepts like this and weaponize them against people and we really don't want to do that because there's a lot of negative Karma that comes with that so number one are you paying attention to their state of being that's number one know thyself know thyself they're another version of you you must know where they are in the same way that's know thyself so if this person is hurting today if
they're upset if they're holding on to negative energy of some kind insecurity whatever it is do you have the SQ required to be aware of these things and I don't mean you have to have some crazy level of Psych intuition where you can read their mail and tell them what happened to them yesterday and why they're feeling this way today and no no no no no just the basic like can you feel their energy are they struggling today are they having a tough day are they really positioned in a ideology that they're attached to and
whether it's religion or politics like you've got to be able to see where this person is and that requires you to be at a higher frequency than them if you're at the same frequency as them you can't see see where they are from a higher perspective you are locked in the battle with them no I'm right no I'm right no you're I'm right you're wrong I'm right you're going to play that game so you've got to be coming from a higher frequency to see where people really are that requires that you are working on yourself
yeah and if you're on this call right now that's a foregone conclusion you're obviously here because you love working on yourself and raising your Consciousness so be aware of where this person is that's number one number two can you accept where they are those are not the same two things right how many times have you guys been able to be fully aware where your mother-in-law or whoever is this is a very unconscious Soul deeply identified with ego lost in stories of victimhood and you're fully like aware that that's where they are and yet they're just
ah they're triggering you they're getting under your skin you can't remain in love it's super hard you get offended you get upset you get annoyed they're not the same thing we have masculine and feminine principles here we have to do both we have to be able to know where someone is and accept them for where they are and the big Point here that I always have to stress which I'm happy to do because it is the biggest confusion of what love acceptance forgiveness really means by accepting where somebody is it doesn't mean we want them
to stay there we're good with what they're doing and thinking and behaving we hope they continue to do what they're doing no we always wish the highest good of somebody of course we always wish for their healing for their salvation from suffering all of that but we also have the wisdom with that love to know I can't force them to awaken I can't force them to heal I have no ability to force this person to do anything and I don't want to so I accept where they are today knowing this person's eternally one with God
they're on an evolutionary Journey they will eventually heal maybe not in this life time but that's okay maybe they'll heal in the next lifetime it's not my responsibility when they wake up or when they heal love can feel hard yeah love acceptance compassion can feel very difficult but if it does feel difficult please hear me on this if it does feel difficult it just means you're not fully integrated in fourth density Consciousness yet that's all no big deal not an indictment not a judgment we just have to pay attention to our inner world because our
inner World our reactions our feelings our thoughts everything is a reflection right everything is showing us where we are so if I find it hard to love anybody even the worst cruelest Tyrant on Earth if I can't easily feel love for everybody then I have more heart-based Consciousness to integrate that's all that means and so I can work on it right now by forgiving this person by striving to understand them and this is what spiritual balancing is in the law one raw says the art of spiritual balancing when you're triggered by somebody is to mentally
go deeply into that perspective put yourself in their shoes consider their perspective of you know why do they feel this way why do they think it's okay to do this say this Etc believe this and you try to imagine what it's like to be that person in that perspective and you just keep contemplating their perspective until you're like like oh okay I get it you know they've been hurt or they they grew up in this culture that taught them these things whatever there's always a reason why somebody beli something everyone's right from their perspective this
is a law we must all accept and get over it and move on there's no villains in the universe there's nobody that's just like twiz twirling their mustache on the inside saying ah I just I'm evil and I hate everybody and I want to kill people for fun like nobody not even the sixth density negative being thinks like that that's a car tun caricature of the negative polarity everyone feels very justified in what they're doing even a serial killer feels Justified right I've been hurt I've been abandoned I've been abused I've had a tough life
people have been unfair to me it's time to dish out some medicine to other people it's only fair this is how I make balance right I've been harmed I'm going to harm others it makes sense to them you understand and so we don't have to agree and we shouldn't agree we shouldn't agree with any any perspective because all perspectives are relatively true and absolutely false right any unique individual perspective can only be true from that perspective it can't be true absolutely for everyone everywhere in the universe so no perspectives are absolutely true and yet they're
all relatively true right so we don't need to agree or disagree with any belief in the universe and we should we should remove the notion of agreeing or disagreeing with anything doesn't apply right if somebody believes something it's true to them so what good is it for you to be like I disagree okay well they disagree with you so it's a stalemate right the only way forward is to understand their perspective and then you can actually meet them where they are you can speak their language you can help them see insights they may be lacking
in their perspective you can offer them assistance right you can say well I understand how why you feel that way and I would feel the same way if I were your shoes you can say that to anybody you could say that to Hitler and it would be true right if you were Hitler you would have done everything Hitler did you would have had the same exact mind the same exact conditioning the same exact life experiences and so on and so forth so let us never get too big for our britches by thinking we're fundamentally better
than anyone right if I was in anyone's shoes I would see what they're seeing I would believe their perspectives too so you can look anyone in the eyes and say I understand your perspective I get get it I'm not holding your perspective against you that's what people need to hear and feel to feel safe with you right and you can say but you know have you ever thought about it this way what about d d d da and now that they have your understanding they're they're going to be much more open to what you're offering
if you're like I disagree let me tell you why you're you're just never going to get an ego in a corner with its arm behind its back saying uncle uncle you can't get someone's ego in that position the harder you fight against their ego the harder their ego fights you right it's just just becomes an ego fist fight you can't bludgeon somebody's ego into agreeing with you but isn't that what our spiritual egos always want to do so you got to be aware of that it's part of your SQ is there's a way in which
I can reach this person right now but it's through love and understanding first why because Only Love Can depolarize negative energy so if someone's coming at you with negative energy that got a charge of I'm right let me tell you one thing Jesus said agree with your adversary quickly what come on Jesus I don't want to agree with my adversary they're wrong no he's not saying agree with their mental Concepts he's saying agree with their basic perspective of where they're coming from right they think they're right agree with him and say I understand why you
think that and then there's a depolarization that happens now there's not really a fight here anymore right there's not really a fight going on there's an attempt to understand going on and that's where two Souls can really meet so love understanding people having compassion for people is effortless and automatic in fourth density Consciousness that's how you know you're living from 4D is that love is I mean you literally won't remember how or why you used to perceive people without love when you're living from 4 Consciousness it truly feels weird to you to not have love
for people you're like what how did I see them before did I see people as not God like what there's only God that makes no sense you lose the ability to connect with judgment when you're living from 4D it it makes no sense right it it's not intelligent to you anymore because you've raised your spiritual intelligence when you raise your spiritual intelligence what is below your level of intelligence no longer seems intelligent right you see the flaws and the errors in the ego's way of thinking you're like oh that's actually less intelligent to judge people
and so it just drops away right when you see what's not intelligent it naturally drops away with no effort required the seeing of it is what makes it drop away seeing things as they are is what makes them lose influence right so how do we apply the third discipline now we've done the first two we understand where this person's at we accept them where they're at that doesn't mean we agree with what they're saying or doing it means we have compassion and we understand that their perspective seems right to them okay now we can move
on to the third discipline become the Creator I want to take a quick pause from today's video to let you know that if you want more help staying consistent in these practices and integrating these teachings then I want to invite you to join our brand new 4D University student membership our student program comes with eight Foundation courses that walk you systematically through all the core teachings of 40u with daily lesson practices given for every single lesson to help you truly start living from fourth density Consciousness here and now you'll also get access to our live
bi-weekly calls where you can come submit your questions hear live teachings and have an opportunity to receive personal guidance from yours truly so if you're ready to take your spiritual intelligence to the next level then come try out our 40u student membership and receive all the Practical guidance you need to truly live and embody heart-based Consciousness you can learn more and enroll at the link in the description below and now back to the video so how do we apply this discipline well how does become the Creator apply to a relationship first we must remember that
become the Creator really just means choose your preference when you guys hear me say or anyone say or you see it written somewhere law of one doesn't matter become the Creator translate it in your brain as seeing choose your preference because that's what it means it's the ability to consciously and intentionally decide what reality you want to live in and then to live in that reality regardless of circumstance because the reality you live in is solely dependent on your perception of what's happening in your environment it's the way you interpret your life that determines what
reality you live in so once you've balanced your masculine and feminine polarities awareness and love you can now choose your preference from a place of neutrality and balance yeah so this point is huge you guys and this is the first big point I want everybody to understand you are not obligated to be in relationship with anyone on the physical plane is what I mean you are not obligated by the universe or by God or something to you you have to be in a relationship with with this person you they must be in your life no
no no you are under no such obligation from the universe to keep any person in your life not your mom not your dad not your partner not even your own children nobody is required to be a part of your life God wants you to have the freedom to create your reality so you can absolutely if we want to use this term it's sounds like a negative term but cut people out of your life who aren't in alignment with your chosen preference you can absolutely do that from a place of love and balance without without creating
negative Karma yeah but if you don't have awareness of where they are and acceptance for where they are and then you try to kick them out of your life you do create negative Karma why because you're not balanced yet all imbalances create negative Karma actually all imbalances are negative Karma it's the same thing pause and effect right so if someone is consistently abusive towards you why should you like being around them you don't have to like everyone but you have to love everyone do you get the distinction here why why should you like being abused
no one's asking you to like being around your abuser or or like their current expression of who they are you don't have to enjoy it or prefer it you're you're fully given the Free Will that God wants us all to have to not enjoy being around abuse and you shouldn't enjoy it because love doesn't abuse so you don't have to want to be around them it's just not your chosen energy it's not your chosen frequency you have all the right to not want that person to be in your life anymore and you can completely excommunicate
them from your life in a loving way but if and only if you can accept and forgive them for where they are otherwise you're going to create negative Karma because you're in resistance to them so forgiveness is the key to all spiritual balancing and in fact spiritual balancing really is just forgiveness you know when I when I tell you to consider the perspective of the person that's triggering you like using the politics example if people on the far right who are just oh I'm so triggered by far left people I can't stand them okay well
how you need to balance that is you need to contemplate being someone on the left and why do they think how they think why do they believe the things they believe why do they hold the perspectives they hold can you just understand why somebody would hold those perspectives that is is forgiveness you guys that is the giving up of a grievance you're holding against somebody so forgiveness literally just means cutting the karmic tie you created with someone by judging them or resisting them that's it forgiveness just means I refuse to be entangled with you and
your negative Karma anymore I wish to be free of the influence of your negative karma that's all it means that's forgiveness and so forgiveness really is the second discipline right love thyself Love Thy Neighbor right to accept someone is to forgive them to not hold their actions against them so what does spiritual balance look like in an abusive relationship well it looks like cutting that person out of your life that's balance come on Aaron cutting someone out of your life is balance oh you better believe it is this is so simple you guys when you
see this this isn't a comp complex situation although it it tends to be the most often asked question around this subject is oh you're just saying if I forgive someone I just let them walk all over me and abuse me and at what point do I draw a loving boundary people always ask imagine uh you know imagine the scenario of being in an abusive relationship right you've got one person who wants to abuse the other and one person who doesn't want to be abused okay here's the situation I want to abuse I do not want
to be abused how do you balance that you guys can someone explain how you could find balance in that like okay okay honey you want to abuse me because I love you so much I will let you abuse me but it's got to be a balanced abuse so you can abuse me 50% of the time and then you give me 50% of the other time to not be abused okay so Monday through Thursday afternoon you get to abuse me Thursday afternoon through Sunday evening you don't get to abuse abuse me now we're balanced 50/50 abuse
and non-abuse we've achieved it you guys it's like that's not how you find healing in any regard it's not Tit for Tat it's not eye for an eye it's not tooth for tooth Jesus said you've heard it was said in the days of old an eye for an eye but I say to you a new commandment love your enemies bless those who persecute you do good to them turn the other cheek walk the extra mile and in doing so Jesus said you will Heap burning coals on their head interesting expression very first century expression of
depolarization pretty interesting huh what does it mean to Heap burning coals on someone's head he's trying to draw the parallel that you're depolarizing their negative energy you're diffusing them when you return good for evil love for attack so balance cannot possibly look like trying to find equal balance between love and hate those two energies cannot be balanced they're opposites so you better believe that excommunicating an abusive person from your life is the only way to have balance with that relationship why because one person wants to abuse the other wants to not be abused and so
what is the first rule you guys of love of being of service to others put it in the chat we know that the first principle of the positive polarity is what what what do we have to never violate on the positive polarity what do we have to never do to someone if we want to stay on the positive polarity free will very good am on we have to honor their free will we have to do no harm yeah Do no harm that's love Do no harm is service to others is the positive polarity so how
do you balance the Free Will of an abuser and someone who doesn't want to be abused here's the Nuance on the positive polarity we're not in the business of granting and fulfilling everybody's desires you guys honoring Free Will doesn't mean you have to do whatever somebody asks you to do by no means right you have to be always true to your polarity so if somebody asks you to be abusive or hateful or unloving you have to say oh I'm sorry I can't I can't do that I live according to love only and now am I
doing harm to somebody by not giving into their demands by not doing what they're asking of course not not doing something can't be harmful like if someone says do this and you just say no thank you it's impossible to harm somebody with a no thank you if it doesn't align with your chosen polarity now your chosen polarity is service to others so if someone's actually hurting or in need or in danger and they're like help and you're like no thank you that would be doing harm because as a positively polarized being your entire existence depends
on serving others and helping them but granting an ego its personal desire is not helping that ego it's perpetuating the ego it's enabling the ego so if someone's like hey can you buy me some heroin today it's not loving or of service to be like of course whatever you say I want to honor your free will so hopefully we all get that I probably don't need to belabor that point any further but you are absolutely entitled to say no thank you that's not for me and you can't possibly do harm to somebody by just simply
choosing your preference we are only required not to infringe on people's free will not to violate them or harm them in any way right so as a positive being you must lovingly refuse to Grant any request from someone else that doesn't line up with the law of one and I'm going to read a quote to you from the law of one where raw explains this okay so Don says could you amplify the meaning on what you say by failure to accept that which is given I am raw at the level of time space at which
this takes place in the form of what you may call thought War okay so pause sorry context here is there're talking about the thought Wars that positive and negative fourth density beings engage in in the universe they ask raw like do positive and negative beings ever battle in the universe like what does that even look like and raw says yes when when a positive and negative fourth density let's say craft or civilization you know bump into each other in uh somewhere in hyperspace what how does that interaction go and Ross says the negative polarity will
launch thought objects towards the positive polarity attempting to depolarize them influence them cause them to feel or think negatively the negative polarity throws their attacks in the form of thought forms and uh ra describes this in some pretty epic descriptions of you you imagine what these thought forms look like um it could be you know Illusions hallucinations all kinds of crazy stuff but what is the positive polarity doing with all these attacks Ross says they simply throw up a shield of greenray love and they lovingly refuse to accept what's being launched at them so they're
talking about the nuances of this interaction of these thought Wars and so Ross says the most accepting and loving energy would be to so love those who wish to manipulate that those entities were surrounded engulfed and transformed by positive energies this however being a battle of equals the Confederation is aware that it cannot on equal footing allow itself to be manipulated in order to remain purely positive for even though pure it would not be of any consequence having been placed by the so-called powers of Darkness under the heel it is thus that those who deal
with this thought war must be defensive rather than accepting in order to preserve their usefulness in service to others thusly they cannot accept fully what the Orion Confederation wishes to give that being enslavement thus Le some polarity is lost due to this friction in both sides if you will must then regroup it has not been fruitful for either side the only consequence which has been helpful is a balancing of the energies avail able to this planet so that these energies may have less necessity to be balanced in SpaceTime thus lessening the chances of Planetary Annihilation
so these first two paragraphs are really raw discussing the analogy of an abusive relationship on the fourth density scale of things so essentially the analogy is the same when a negative fourth density craft approaches a positively polarized fourth density craft the negative tries to enslave the positive this is their only function and so they launch thought objects to attack them and the positive just says no thank you we love you no thank you we love you until there's a stalemate and they both go their separate ways because both will eventually lose polarity so in the
same way when we see an imbalance in our world if we don't deal with it and address it and balance it it's going to keep accumulating negative Karma and there will be some coming annihilation of that Karma right there will be some expr expression culmination manifestation of that issue we've allowed to remain imbalanced so in a romantic Partnership if there's this ongoing conflict between you and your partner that hasn't been really dealt with and healed and forgiven as we all know right it will come up at some point and when it does it's going to
be an explosive come up it's not going to be a peaceful loving conversation because you've allowed that negative Karma that imbalance to keep building and festering so makes this point clear we are to never accept the request for enslavement control abuse from another that's not a function of the positive polarity we just have to not infringe on their Free Will that's all we're asked to do we're not asked to accept abuse from anybody so you see there are no balancing of equal opposites right you have to honor the opposite by allowing it to be on
its chosen path and while you remain on your chosen path that's what balance looks like and so there's there's Nuance to this right I'm not saying the moment somebody in your life is abusive towards you never speak to them again I'm not saying that I'm not saying that what I'm saying is if there's a pattern of abuse and you try to address it and you lovingly communicate that you don't want to have that kind of relationship with them and then if you're going to have relationship whether it's a friendship a romantic doesn't matter if you're
going to have a relationship it has to be under the these terms we have to strive to love each other to give each other the space to be where we are to not judge each other and if somebody can't do that or isn't at least trying not to do that then they're showing you their choice they don't want to be in a loving relationship with you right they want to be in abusive relationship with you they're not willing to change their habits yet so you as a positively polarized being of Love have to say okay
you've made your choice clear I accept you where you are and I love you where you are go your way my brother my sister you see the difference there we're not advocating for a heartless cutting off of people from our life we're saying do all you can do to establish forgiveness and wholeness and healing you know Jesus said if your brother sins against you go to your brother and and address the concern if your brother doesn't listen to you take another brother with you and the two of you have the conversation If he if they
still don't listen bring three your for brothers with you and if they still don't listen then say okay got it you've made your choice we've made every attempt to reconcile you refused and so I accept that that's okay we don't have to be in loving relationship I would never force you to do such a thing and you exit that physical relationship in your heart you always love them if you ran into them on the street you would greet them with love and you're not putting them out of your heart in any way that is not
what we're saying very much the opposite put them in your heart heart but because they're in your heart you want to honor their path and let them be on their abusive path right so it's extremely imbalanced and unloving to people to both people involved to allow an abusive relationship to continue hopefully we all see this now when you have a loving conversation with somebody who's not behaving lovingly towards you and you let them know hey these are the only kind of relationships I want I don't want us to talk to each other like that I
don't want to talk to you like that I don't want you to talk to me like that so let's talk about how we can have a loving relationship here and if they're not if they're not buying what you're selling if they're not interested then you just say okay I've laid out the terms I've given you a chance to accept or deny and so I honor your free will choice you clearly don't want to have that kind of relationship and so I honor that go your way I'll go my way blessings you see in that exchange
nobody loses it's it's the only real goal of any loving relationship right Do no harm loving relationship doesn't mean Grant every request right our goal for any loving relationship is just to do no harm which really means don't infringe on their Free Will so now that we've covered the most extreme example of balancing in relationships now let's look at the most probably interesting relationship of all which is our romantic Partnerships these tend to be the most challenging and charged relationships because they expose our imbalances the most and that's why I often say romantic relationships probably
the best possible mirror we have in this life probably the best design that Source has given us for Reflections and so how do we keep these relationships balanced with our partners especially if our partner is not on the same spiritual frequency as us with with all the principles we've covered so far hopefully you will have a much easier time understanding this Dynamic first of all it is impossible to be in a truly loving relationship that doesn't feel like one it's impossible that you could be in a truly loving relationship that didn't feel like one here's
what I mean if we feel like something is off in our relationship something is 100% of the time never ever Gaslight yourself to say something feels off here but I'm sure it's all perfectly loving and harmonized no if it was perfectly loving and harmonized you would absolutely know right there is no missing absolute alignment it is the most obvious thing in the universe it's as if every cell of your being cries out yes this is the way God meant it to be you can't misalignment my friends so if you feel like there's an imbalance there
is let's get that off the table what do you do about it well when we start a conflict or we have an a disagreement a disagreement ensues let's say that we will feel a negative emotion if we Step Beyond the boundaries of love we will feel a negative emotion towards ourselves let's put it that way you may feel a sadness for your partner like you'll feel their pain and it can feel painful right when you empathize with where your part coming from you can feel that kind of pain and that doesn't necessarily mean you're out
of balance cuz it's good to feel the energy of others right it's when you feel a negative emotion in or towards yourself anger fear sadness when you get charged up that means you have stepped out of alignment with love in your perception and so thank you emotion for showing me that I just created an imbalance in my mind so feeling is the most important Dynamic for Spiritual balancing in my opinion having a heavy Attunement to your feelings is the most important asset for Spiritual balancing because it is our only Compass or guide for knowing when
there is an imbalance is that we feel it you can't really mentally think your way through if there's an imbalance somewhere and you don't need to because your feelings are already showing you so when we notice a feeling of imbalance perhaps we leave the conflict feeling enraged or hurt and upset or anxious and paranoid we have created an imbalance in our mind through one of the three beliefs right if we feel enraged well that's because we have an attachment of our partner we have an expectation of them that they're apparently not meeting you shouldn't behave
that way it makes me so angry when you act like that well it makes you angry because you have an expectation that they shouldn't right why should you expect somebody not to get drawn up in their own distortions when they get triggered you should absolutely expect somebody to get drawn up in their distortions if they have distortions why would you not want anyone to hold that against you right if you have a moment of weakness and you get drawn up in your ego you want you would want someone to say hey I understand you got
triggered you were upset hit a sensitive spot I get it it happens to the best of us we all want that treatment right but we have to extend it to other people if we want it for ourselves so you definitely shouldn't expect your partner not to get upset at you or betray your trust or any Distortion they have right give your partner the freedom to have the distortions they have don't have expectations of them to behave better than their behaving or else you're going to feel angry right so that's your own imbalance right you had
an expectation they didn't meet Don't force them to meet it get rid of it is the answer balance it correct it heal it if you you leave a conflict feeling really sad and depressed then you're believing that you just lost something from that interaction right the the love has been tarnished hurt damaged destroyed the relationship it's irreparable oh whoo is me you're believing in lack right that's your own imbalance not theirs you can't force them to love you if you feel like they stopped loving you you can just love yourself and refuse to believe that
they can steal love from you so it's your own balance yeah even then if you leave a conflict afraid that they might leave you or cheat on you or whatever the fear is you're trying to control them you believe you can control them and in all three instances it's our own problem here right we are believing in the ego's three beliefs one or all of them and so our negative emotions are triggering that so in truth every single interaction you have with someone is an opportunity for Spiritual B balancing if we're not leaving an interaction
feeling love and peace in our heart then there's something we need to balance and so this is something you all can absolutely experience and let me know in the chat if you have experienced this maybe you have had lots of conflicts with your partner and in the past you always blew up and got enraged and fell into the you know the drama and through these teachings and these practices you've slowly integrated more heart-based Consciousness and now you find yourself able to stay in your heart during an intense conflict who has experienced that yeah lots of
you right so I'm not making this up this isn't just some pie in the sky thing you can absolutely raise your SQ to the level that somebody else's imbalances don't cause you to lose balance so they could be screaming at you and guess what when you are truly living from the heart when you are truly living from fourth density Consciousness the more imbalanced they get the more love and compassion you feel when someone's screaming in Rage all you can experience is the energy behind their actions which is fear and pain and all the negative feelings
that are driving their anger and you're like I'm so sorry you're so full of anger like that must really hurt and you have empathy and so you can hold space for your partner's anger and you say things like like I understand everything you just said is there anything else you want to express I want to hear you out completely you know you would say those things when you're coming from Love and again you watch those burning coals on their head depolarizing their anger or really it's more like pouring water over their head that's steaming with
anger right it's very depolarizing so if I'm upset there's something I need to balance if we review an interaction and we say to to ourselves wow I really I really got wound up in my ego there some of those things I said were really not fair or loving this happens all the time right on the spiritual path when you're trying to integrate and embody fourth density Consciousness and you're in a conflict with your partner you know they're accusing you of things you feel are not true and not fair it's very it's very difficult right not
to get wrapped up in that but that's not true I didn't say that I didn't mean that that's that's not right and you want to argue your points and you have the right to do that of course but you have to listen to them first and let them fully Express their perspective towards you before you jump into chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop up what they're saying right don't take it seriously don't take it personally they're just trying to get off their chest the negative energy they're holding right and they're hoping that you
can be a safe landing space whether they say that or not and usually they don't right uh if they're angry and yelling and screaming or whatever crying and hysterical just hold space right dare to be in that silent space with someone as they're in their die off as they're in their ego and they're charged up with negative energy dare to be with them in that space and you'll watch miracles happen but then after you hear them out and you let them know you hear them and you don't have any resistance to their perspective then you
can offer your perspective and so often times in these interactions you'll in the moment you'll not be fully sure you'll be thinking you're coming from the heart and then when you review the situation later as you're doing your Catalyst journal in the evening you'll say ah gosh you know what I really did say some stuff that wasn't fully coming from Love and it was a bit unfair of me to say that I want to I want to make that right so you're noticing the negative Karma you created through your actions so guess what guys you're
not doomed to suffer from that negative Karma you just have to balance it so our night and shining armor that comes to save the day whenever we notice we've created an imbalance or negative karma is forgiveness forgiveness we should see as our Superman our superhero wearing the shiny Cape coming to the rescue you know we throw the bat signal up in the sky who can save us forgiveness is here to save the day I'm here to save you what you need please help me forgive this person who I've harmed and forgive myself for harming them
forgiveness swoops right in fixes the whole situation balances the karma and swoops away back into the sky that's what forgiveness does you guys it balances all Karma and so if you do notice that you've harmed somebody then what you would want to do is to go to them and say hey that conversation we had yesterday I just want to let you know after thinking about it I don't think it was very fair when I said XYZ and I just want you to know I'm sorry if that hurt you in any way I I love you
and I never want to hurt you I was just trying to express my opinion please forgive me and whether they forgive you or not 99% of the time they will but even if they don't you've already balanced the karma again you can't force somebody to forgive you can just forgive you can just repent yeah so this happens in any case where a partner is triggered or angry and we are very aware of that moment of not wanting to create an imbalance we only have to look at the nature of the interaction love as we know
here is giving and receiving fear or ego is taking and keeping so we have positive polarity giving and receiving negative polarity taking and keeping these are the only two functions ever ever ever happening in any interaction period that's the only way you can interact with somebody or they with you you can give and re receive or you can take and keep or take and withhold right so can you be aware of was there any energy of taking and keeping in my interaction with them that's a really good question to ask if you want to scan
for imbalances in your relationship and it takes practice right you'll get better at identifying your own patterns of taking and keeping but this is one of our principal teachings here right that we hammer and it's all through our foundations course right loving relationship is giving and re receiving can you receive them where they are right now can you accept them and can you give your love your polarity your essence to them freely so it's like do they want to be right are they arguing with you because they want to be right and they want you
to admit you're wrong well then they're taking and keeping right they're they're withholding love from you and attempting to take your agreement from you they're trying to force you to agree with them so where can I find the Innocence behind their intention their need to be right and can I tell them I understand right I can always always always give somebody my understanding and really that is balancing 101 right can I just contemplate their perspective as we said before understand where they're coming from and give them a compassion for it right I understand what you're
saying I hear you out I understand your perspective and just knowing they have our understanding is very depolarizing to the ego but once our partner knows that we understand their perspective even if we may see things differently in almost all cases this will depolarize their anger and diffuse the negative energy it's so powerful you guys it's just that it tends to be hard to do right but when you do it with sincerity every time you're going to watch miracles happen you're going to watch a new look come behind their eyes a light will appear behind
their eyes a softening uh a depolarization of the negative will happen and you'll feel them opening to you more and then you can get into the more intimate nuances of sharing your feelings with each other right once you've depolarized or balanced the intense conflict that's happening and so if we have a need to be right or we feel wronged and are offended by it then the conflict has to continue right I I'm keeping the war alive in My Mind by not forgiving them not understanding them so there can be no balance here right there can
there can be no balance between two people who both think they are right and the other is wrong we just went over this right two completely opposite perspectives can't be balanced in the sense of 5050 there's no 5050 between love and fear between truth and illusion the only way to balance opposites is to let them be opposites right the positive honors the negative and doesn't infringe and try to change them so acim has a lot of really amazing things to say about this this idea that they're on the positive polarity balancing always looks like a
win-win this is huge True Balance true forgiveness true salvation as the course puts it cannot require sacrifice of anybody so balance in a conflict where one partner thinks they're right and the other thinks they're right and they're duking it out no I'm right no I'm right balance doesn't look like one of the partners conceding defeat and saying okay I'm wrong and you are right and then okay let's move move on that's not balance right let's look at what A Course in Miracles says balance looks like I am not asked to make a sacrifice to find
the mercy and the peace of God that's huge I am not asked to make a sacrifice what does that mean I'm not asked to violate my own polarity in some way I'm not asked to give up anything good to find peace the end of suffering cannot come through loss the gift of everything can be but a gain you only give you never take away this is talking to God God only gives and never takes away and God never takes away what is true what is good what is loving yeah God will absolutely take away our
Illusions if we offer them up but that's because Illusions aren't real what is real and actual can never be taken from us and God doesn't will to take anything real from us that's the point here it says and you created me to be like you so sacrifice becomes impossible for me as well as you I too must give and so all things are given unto me forever and forever That's the Law of the Kingdom of Heaven you get to keep whatever you're willing to give as long as you're in the mode of giving it you
get to keep it and enjoy it forever next quote so this is from the text and it says how can you win when he must lose and it's describing you know a brother um somebody you're in conflict with how can you win when he must lose if you think you're right and they're wrong how can you win while he loses he also thinks that he's right and you're wrong so it says he doesn't understand a zero sum gain where every gain he makes he loses no one can can lose and everyone gain you win by
giving he cannot understand a game of giving for no one gets until he gives so this is amazing you guys if you're in conflict with somebody and they're not able to be on the same frequency as you meaning they're not giving you the same love and patience and understanding that's because they can't they don't understand it they're still stuck in the ego and they think they're right right they don't understand the law of giving and receiving it's like if they understood it they would give you the same energy that they want from you right if
they want you to be agreeable and understanding they would be agreeable and understanding to you if they're not acting like that they don't understand and the law so you can't force them to how do you balance that relationship again same principles you just stay true to who you are and you don't infringe upon who they are it's really that simple the Nuance is in the actual daytoday interpersonal interactions every interaction will be unique and it will require a unique approach to that principle right every every conflict is a different conflict so you can't like create
create pre-planned ways of interacting with people but what you can do is you can embody and understand and love these principles of balancing that for me to stay balanced I only have to stay in my heart towards everyone and let them be where they are and not infringe on them and the farthest I can go to change someone is to merely offer them the opportunity for A New Perspective and I let them accept or deny it I have I'm not trying to force them to accept my offering I'm not trying to force them to agree
with my offering I want them to make the free choice hey do you want reconciliation here do you want forgiveness and healing here I'm going to offer it to you let's agree to disagree or whatever and maybe they say no I am right and I won't agree to disagree you say okay no problem and from then on out you're not interested in perpetuating that conflict you can let them know that and say Hey whenever you're ready to talk about this without the need to be right and the arguing I'm I'm ready I'm here for you
but we've we've gone as far as we can go we don't agree on perspectives and I've offered you the only solution I can which is let's just agree to disagree and love each other and forgive each other and move on and if you don't want to do that that's okay you don't have to do that but I have to be true to my polarity so like I am not interested in being involved in any relationship that's not loving anymore this is the basic practical essence of spiritual balancing in relationships but I want you guys to
understand today is it's all about being true to your polarity and letting them be true to theirs in the Kingdom of Heaven everyone wins together and no one wins alone so even by refusing to give into the negative demands of another they're still winning by you denying their request why because their Free Will is still fully intact so they win it's always a win when somebody's free will is not infringed upon so our only goal should be not to infringe on Free Will and be true to our Free Will that's the one standard we have
to apply to every relationship if we want balance both sides can walk away the Victor so long as we can just understand accept each other where we are and we can agree to disagree perfectly fine right perfectly fine way to handle a conflict but both sides have to do it if it's going to work and if only you do it and they don't do it then it won't work in the sense that they're going to still hang on to that conflict against you they're going to still hang on to that bitterness against you and so
it's going to influence their behavior and it's going to probably lead to an eventual breaking up right if they don't heal and grow it will lead to that because you have to be true to your polarity and this is tough right especially with romantic Partners it's really tough when you've been married to somebody for 10 or 20 years and you come to these teachings and you're like oh my gosh I've been in an abusive relationship with my husband for 10 years 20 years and I'm now just realizing it my husband controls my behavior or maybe
my wife controls my behavior but you notice this fact right and now you're like okay I want to live these principles I want to be true to my polarity and I want to live from heart-based Consciousness well then you can try your best to apply those principles in your relationship but at the end of the day if your partner is not interested in being on that level with you you have to say okay I've tried I've presented my offering to you over and over again to give you every chance to accept it and and change
your ways and enter a loving relationship with me and if your partner consistently denies your request and I don't even mean like a verbal request I mean you're in the kitchen and your husband or wife is like I told you to wash the dishes two hours ago why haven't you done it yet and you say I'm so sorry sweetheart I got caught up doing this task I'll be happy to watch the dishes now and your partner's like yeah that's right you'll wash the dishes and walks out of the room you just offered a request for
them to be loving towards you how because you gave that to them so by giving them a certain energy that's different than because look if you had given them a negative energy they would have returned the favor right they would have given back what you gave as well so by giving you're really offering something something and they can accept or deny it if they're in a negative energy and you offer negative energy they going to accept it right they're going to accept it real quick because their ego's looking for the fight yeah let's War let's
go to battle let's see who's going to be the Victor and so when you don't give that energy and you say a loving response that is an attempt to neutralize the situation and your partner doesn't respond with a similar energy then they have shown you I'm not interested in diffusing this conflict with you I'm interested in keeping this conflict with you so you see there's a lot being said in the Dynamics of the relationship in the interaction so we're not just talking about a verbal request although you can verbally request your partner to make these
changes in the relationship you definitely can sit down and say hey you know I've come into these understandings and I want us to be in a loving relationship do you want that well yeah I do okay well let's talk about what that looks like and you go through it you can definitely do that and you should do that but if on a day today basis you're returning love for attack and they're not returning your love for love if they're returning attack for love they are denying your request do you see that that's what the course
meant in the verse we just read where it says like something like he's he doesn't accept what you have offered that's what it means is like the essence of who you're being towards them is what you're offering them and if they're consistently not trying to meet you on that same frequency they don't want it and so you have have to be okay with that and sometimes we have to make those tough decisions to say well it would not be loving for me to stay in this relationship and it's not loving for them for me to
stay in this relationship because I'm just going to enable and perpetuate their abusive behaviors so you have to come to see in yourself you guys and I hope everyone who's in this situation is really listening to this part because this is how you can move through this very challenging situation with clarity and peace of mind is as long as you have come to this conclusion in yourself of look I have made every attempt to offer my partner a loving relationship I am not giving into their attacks I'm not fighting anymore I'm not going tit fortat
anymore and they're consistently trying to still go tit fortat with me when I'm offering forgiveness and Reconciliation then they have denied your request and you have to come to peace with that but when you do come to peace with that then leaving that relationship will be much easier leaving relationships is only hard when we think we're leaving something good on the table when we think we've still done something wrong or haven't done enough you know that's usually what we suffer from in these kind of breakups or whatever in relationships is we like I could have
done more maybe I didn't try hard enough so you need to go to Every length you can go while staying true to your polarity to try to make a Reconciliation to offer a loving relationship every day over and over consistently until you feel that you have seen sufficient proof that your partner is genuinely not interested in a loving relationship they're not healed enough they're not aware enough to go beyond their patterns and so love says okay I will not force you to do so anymore my beloved you go enjoy your path that you have chosen
I give you the freedom to be on your path of negativity and resentment and I'll let you go find anyone else you want to be in that kind of relationship with I personally do not want to be in that kind of relationship so I forgive you I forgive myself I hold nothing against you it's all played out perfectly it's all been a great reflection and now it's no longer of service to me I have seen the reflection I have picked up the phone I've heard the call and now it's time to hang up the phone
that is admittedly hard to do it takes a lot of spiritual maturity to do that but it is what we are asked to do by love this is how we stay in balance is be true to our polarity while allowing them to be true to theirs simple enough yeah that is the essence of spiritual balancing in any type of human relationship
