The Art of Being Selfish

so look I know that a lot of you out there are hurting and under the lawn of you out there don't want to disappoint the ones that you love you don't want to let them down and that's why I made this video right to tell this video is why you need to be selfish in order to be selfless in this you know quite an esoteric title kind of airy-fairy so I want to give you three tangible examples of how I was selfish in order to be selfless and why I strategically made that decision why I

had to make that sacrifice and hopefully how you can go ahead and apply that to your own life so the first example that I'm going to give you is the relationship between me and my mother and I know this is something that a lot of you guys out there are facing you know you're facing some pushback from your parents you know you're facing some judgment from their parents some nervousness from your parents so luckily I only had to deal with one parent because you know it's really just only ever been me my mom me and

my mom have always had a great relationship but when I wanted to drop out of school which I really do not condone doing I had a very peculiar situation where really was the absolute no-brainer to drop out of school so you know that's a topic for another day you know don't drop out of school but I know a lot of you guys out there don't want to go to college you don't want to go to college or if you're in college you're gonna drop out of college or your parents want you to go out and

be a doctor or a lawyer this thing that thing engineer and you're just not interested where you're just not interested and you have a different path whether that's entrepreneurship or not whether that's you know in entirely different industries that's up to you but 99% of my audience here are entrepreneurs looking to come entrepreneurs so you know personally I can tell you the story with me and my mom we had an incredible relationship me and my mom literally matched to get us over from dirt poor dirt poor area of Russia I would have really if I'd

stayed there I would have grown up this probably farmer or in the army or something like that so she sacrificed everything she literally sacrificed the entire life to get me to London and get me incredible education you know really for her to go ahead and sacrifice all of this for me justice for me to go ahead and turn around and be like no you know what I'm gonna drop out of school because I want to continue to build my online business you know that droves such a wedge between us before I actually dropped out of

school you know me and her were discussing it for like nine months just having tons and tons of arguments and I got the point where at the henna day she needed the final send-off because I was 17 so you know it needed her final approval but it got to a point where I needed to be selfish in order to be selfless and what I mean by that was I needed to be selfish I needed to disregard you know my mother's best wishes which was stay in school get into a great college which probably wasn't gonna

happen I was just a horrific student at school sure could have got good grades but it just the entire system made me sick to be honest so I had to go against her best wishes yeah that drove a wedge between us and yeah for the longest time we would argue and stuff like that you know I had to be selfish initially but then two years later it's gone somewhere you know I can retire her if that's what she wants to do where you know I can take care of her I can treat her I can

take away for holidays I can buy her incredible birthday be us I could take her to expensive dinners I can really just give my mom the world which is what she deserves after all this time but in order to do that I had just sucked entirely about what would have pleased my mom at the time I would have just stayed in school and I never be in the position that I'm in right that said I'm not saying drop out of school or anything like that what I'm saying is sometimes your parents best wishes and have

to appease them and short term they're gonna hate you at first she wasn't supportive she thought it was throwing everything away when I guess the point where I'm buying her nice expensive things treating her and taking her on shopping sprees which is always what I've wanted to do and I think she sort of forgets about you know the the tough time music or I remember the the other day we went to lunch and she was like holy crap you know you could have been that waiter serving me and she's you know she said it respectfully

she's like you know it hit me that you're 19 you literally could be on the other side of this you could have been the person serving me instead you're the one paying for this expensive launch our entire life is changing as I said our entire life sole reason of change was because I was selfish at the beginning in order to long-term be selfless and protect my family and take care of my family I know that you on the other side a lot of time you uh you're not going down the same route that your parents

would want you to or maybe your parents want you to take over the family business and you know that means you're gonna make a lot of money because maybe the family business is successful but maybe you want to make it on your own maybe you want to go into different industry and as I said short term you have to be selfish in order to long term be selfless and be able to take care of your parents that's the first tangible how you to be selfish in order to be selfless long-term the next one is friendships

you know a lot of people out there if you don't talk to them for a while about oh you switched off you turned on me or you're a fake friend like no and and lovely I never had this in my friend group you know really seriously but it's like no I'm not a [ __ ] fake friend I'm just trying to build my future and I'm busy so I can't talk to you every [ __ ] day or see you three times a week alright so you should feel absolutely zero remorse and for six months

you know you got to hide in your office or hide in your bedroom or do whatever and immerse yourself in work so that way you come out on the other side and to give you a perfect example I'm recording this in 11 days I'm going to volume right I'm going to volume with all my friends and that's just not something that would have been able to do before you know taking care of my friends isn't something I would have been able to do before give me an example what am I you know this guy is

basically like an older brother to me I bought a ten thousand dollar Rolex for his birthday last year you know to think that at 18 I was able to buy not myself someone else a $10,000 Rolex it means a lot to me in short term I have to be selfish short term I have to be selfish and one of my friends want to hang out and just have a coffee catch up I'd say no and when my friends texted me and it wasn't the right time to text back okay you know my friends know that

it fortunate takes either I replied very very quickly because I'm there on the spot so it's quicker world we're playing with three five days right that's you do away and it's one of those things where I have to be selfish with my time I have to be selfish with my energy my friends no money into Friday there is basically a 99% chance that I mean there's no way I'm gonna go out or I'm gonna have drinks or coffee or basically I'm gonna do anything past 6:00 p.m. there's no way I'm really gonna hang out past

6:00 p.m. so they don't even bother to it might be most of time because they just kind of know my schedule respect my schedule and you know a lot of time you know even with some of my best friends I've had it where it comes across that maybe I'm a little snobby or maybe I think a little bit too much of myself or something along those lines that's not hurt at all it's just I literally have to be [ __ ] selfish with my time and my energy in order to long-term take care of my

friends with me be you know treat my friends you know my best friend recently I got him a very nice birthday gift very nice experience and that's just the tip of the iceberg you know really being able to take care of the people around me that was only possible because I was selfish from my time and my energy and if anything ever comes up with a friend granted my friends have been with me pretty much Muslim from day one when I absolutely [ __ ] and most of my friends paid for my lunches when I

had nothing they paid for my lunches and their families took me in you know kind of took care of me and you know took me away all the days with them and stuff like that so you know most of my friends I'll give him the world because they deserve that so just remember that if your friends are telling you your fake friend or you switched our house with this thing it might hurt a little but ignore the noise all that is is noise and bring us along a sense of guilt with it really you shouldn't

have because yeah maybe short term you can't see your friends as much what do you belong term if you go there incredible business and you have more resources you can do more cool things with your friends you can take care of some of your friends if they actually deserve it and you can also build a business be hands-off with your brother successful agency you can then be hands-off with and then anytime they do ring you for a coffee you can actually guilt free go ahead and have a coffee with it or go on a holiday

with them for whatever the case may be so that's the second example right there now the third example of how you have to be selfish in order to be selfless is relationships you know definitely in my relationships past present and I mean that is in romantic relationships I've definitely been selfish with a lot of stuff and once again that comes down to my time discipline and effort you know I know that a lot of you out there you might have a boyfriend or a girlfriend and you know you're not giving them as much time as

they would want quite frankly here's the thing I know that if I if I'm in a relationship where I have to you know hang out with my partner all the time and you know we're texting all the time and stuff like that I would just resent the person that I'm with simply because you know I'm not feeling my higher purpose and for me personally as a guy who is more on the masculine scale I'm a guy who gets most business enjoyment out of life not from money not from shiny materialistic things stuff like that I

enjoy that stuff for me it's not even so much about relationships and friendships that's up there in my top three but for me personally if I'm not growing and I'm not improving I honestly feels like like I'm dead inside like it feels like the death of me if that person is taking you away from that you will literally kill a part of your soul and then that will lead to you lashing out the other person you'll need you resenting the other person eventually lead up you know end up in a toxic relationship you guys break

it up so rather than doing that be selfish with your time now obviously have to make compromises you know it's a it's a relationship you have to make compromises but don't feel afraid to put your foot down in certain areas and go in these instances my work comes first because without my work in my relationship you know my girlfriend knows that if I don't give my work my whole it's like she's getting 30% of me you know I'm sure enough 30 if I only show up 30 percent in my work I'm willing to show up

30 percent as a boyfriend if I say 100 percent of my work even though there's less time with my girlfriend I'm gonna show up a hundred percent and we're gonna be there right and it's it's you know how you knew one thing is how you everything so that's the next thing if you or a guy or girl watching this with your partner if this is what you're like you know I know a lot of entrepreneurs out there they're just wanna make some money and you want to travel the world with their partner you know and

they don't want to work as much that's totally fine as well you know I've tried the party lifestyle I've tried the digital Nomad lifestyle I've tried the full intense work years monastic focus on work lifestyle I try very much all different lifestyles out there to get a feel for what I like this is mainly for people that are very similar to me in their character so just remember that right and just remember that and don't feel bad that you are putting you're setting boundaries and you're putting your foot down in certain areas in your relationship

your relationship you have to make compromises but don't feel afraid that you're putting your foot down in certain areas because and you can explain this other person would they rather have 30 percent of you because if you only give 30 percent to your to your mission or what you're trying to accomplish or even just moving the goalposts and consignee improving is whatever facet of life that you're focusing on if you do that and you do that's 100% then explain to them that you will show up in the relationship often or if you're only doing about

30% in you know in this one area of life your initial 30% in the relationship that's really what I found it is the same with me so those are three examples right there we have to be selfish in order to be selfless you know another example that I can give you this small so much interpersonal is just generally I have to be selfish and active guard my my mental sort of my mental Ram I have to cut out a ton of [ __ ] out of my life I have to cut out a ton of

inputs I read in literally yesterday I was in an uber and uber driver had the radio on I was politics and politely asked him hey can you turn off the radio and he was like why and I'm like I just prefer not listening to that sort of stuff and you know we're just normal political [ __ ] medium [ __ ] where you know people were just complaining and people were living in a state of apathy and you know complaining with things would get better and just never [ __ ] taking any action right and

you know when I'm in a room and people are talking negatively I just leave and when there is some [ __ ] media sting I just leave and if anyone's ever gossiping I'll just try to pretend as though I'm listening and then just not react granted I'm not saying with this stuff I still fall into those traps occasionally as everyone does but that's another example of I have to be selfish in order to be selfish you know actor to now all that [ __ ] in order to be selfless and move my business forward and

the more that I move my business forward the more you know for example my see the more businesses are helped from that and the more businesses are helped from that that has a knock-on effect when I help my client my client then goes at it and helps all of their customers or if I look at my education business query agency comm you know obviously the better than that gets the better the actual program gets the better than the support the coaches of live Q&A calls get the tracking sheets the resources the plug-and-play sheets the cliff

know the book cliff notes the better I make that program the better you know I'm very effective thousand thousands of lives so I have to be self-injure than these other areas in order to be selfless in these other characters so ladies and gentlemen I hope this video has been helpful in terms of just taking this weight on your shoulder feeling as though you have to make your parents happy you have to make your friends happy you have to make your partner happy and long-term you should you should have a great relationship with all these people

but short term you're gonna have to make some sacrifices you're gonna have to put your foot down you're gonna have to be a little bit selfish so the long term you can have you better relationships with all these people you know you can show up better and be a better friend a better son or daughter or a better partner for the person that you're with so I said I hope you enjoyed this video if you use a channel make sure you go ahead and click subscribe if you're already subscribed make sure you turn on that

Bell notification because look let's be honest there's a ton of fluff on we do so when you get a good video that isn't just some regurgitating BS you're gonna want to see it and now I'll see you guys in the next video oh and the last final thing go ahead and leave a comment right below let me know what you think and let me know if there's an area that you struggle with and how you manage to overcome it I think everyone you know that'd be really really beneficial for everyone to see you know how

other people have struggled with you know feeling weighed down short-term and how they alleviated that in order to get that long-term result that they're looking for so hope you enjoy this video I'll see in the next one