My wife and daughter left me for a guy they met at the mechanic shop

My wife and daughter left me for a guy they met at the mechanic shop on 7th Sept 2022. We've been married for 5 years. We have a 4-year-old together.

She has two other kids from a previous marriage; they are pre-teens. About 2 months ago, we went to the mechanic shop to get her car serviced. The guy there she kept talking to him and looking at him.

I ended up talking to him too because I had a Raiders jersey on and he said he was a big fan of the Raiders. Anyway, I work 10-hour days that she absolutely hates, but she is a stay-at-home wife. I pay all the bills, so I have to be away.

She was seeing this guy we met at the car shop every day I was at work behind my back. 3 weeks ago, I came home; she wrote me a text saying she was gone, and she's in love with this guy and she believes this is her soulmate. This guy I did my research has no place to stay so they all have been living in the car I pay for in different Parks.

The sad part, she left our four-year-old behind and took the other two kids that are not mine. She has blocked me on everything, family members have sent me posts of her saying how much she is happy now and in love with her sexy man. It hurts to the core.

I can't eat, sleep, or function at work. Worst, my daughter cries every night. Thank God my sisters and Mom have stepped up to take care of her while I work, and they watch her full time on the weekend.

it's like I'm numb and don't know what I did so wrong. I took care of her, loved her when she was sick, loved her children. The worst thing she said I did was work too much and that I didn't have time for her.

Well, sorry, I'm the only one paying bills. It sucks so bad. The other worst part is last night she had the cops beating on my door.

When I opened up, it was her and the cops; they were escorting her in to get her things. I'm so glad our daughter was sleeping. She gathered up some more clothes and said toss the rest; she'll never be back.

I looked outside, and the guy she's with is sitting in the passenger seat. I am beyond livid. Oh yeah, and she texted me this morning saying do I have gas money for her and will I pay the car note and maybe she will talk to me face to face but this is the only way.

I didn't respond. I am numb. Yes, I worked a lot.

I'm sorry. Sorry, I didn't have time to take you to the movies or a special dinner. But we have never been hungry; one day have a beautiful house, and I always give you anything you ask for.

Why not communicate so I could have worked on being a better husband and father? My wife is so beautiful, I thought I was lucky, but now see the real her. Some important info, how they met: She was homeless when I met her, living in her car.

My friend threw a party, and she came with her friends. I did not know this woman, but when I woke up the next morning, she was in bed with me. I'm talking laying under the covers fully clothed while holding on to me.

We didn't have sex, and I was drunk. It's like she picked me and latched onto me from that day forward. So many red flags looking back.

She had a beautiful, fun personality and was really attractive. I was 39; my wife was 35; mechanic guy 23-24. How was she before she met the mechanic guy: She really did take care of our house.

She's an amazing cook; she cooked every night and always took care of me. Once upon a time before she met him, she really seemed like a good mother and a caring wife until she got upset. The last 2 months she was withdrawn, and I thought it was because she was worried about something she wasn't speaking about, but it was because she was already yearning to be with him; he had her attention.

How many hours he worked: 10 sometimes 12-hour days with a commute time of an hour each way. But I make good money to provide them with a house, food, clothes. They never had.

Had to ask me for anything; we had it. Sorry I couldn't go to a concert because I was too tired or the movies. Maybe I should have tried harder, but why not just tell me so I can try to change instead of this.

It's shocking and numbing. About their daughter: She did not ask once about our daughter last night, didn't check in on her. She hasn't seen her in 3 weeks.

This is a doting mother that always called our daughter my sweetie, my baby, my nah, always kissing her and hugging her. She was such a good mother and that was all an act. How she is ice cold: It's like a switch went off and she's at zero cares.

How can I ever tell my daughter about this chapter in our lives? It is blowing my mind. Thanks all for listening.

I have no one to vent to at the moment; feels really good. 13-year-old twins: They are 13-year-old twins. Love them to death.

They are really good kids with some anger issues, but they have been dragged through a lot. They were finally stable with our lifestyle, now she ups and does this. Drgs: No, she doesn't do drugs, not when we were together.

She was a heavy weed smoker, but I don't smoke, and we would fight over this because she did it. Around our daughter, while on FaceTime with me at work, I went into a rage, so she stopped. In the last six months, she didn't touch weed, at least not while I was home.

Other drugs? No, never, ever, as long as I've known her. But who knows?

I question everything now. From what I can see, they both love to smoke weed, which is what she does 24/7. I do not smoke and hated it.

We would fight about this all the time. From the pics she's posting on FB, they both seem to be Stoners. If op's wife is mentally ill, my wife might be mentally ill.

I realized the signs now, looking back. I first met her at my friend's house. She was there with her friends, and we all got drunk.

When I woke up the next morning, she was in bed with me. We didn't do anything, and from that day, she has been with me. It's like she attached herself to me and came on like a hurricane.

She's physically beautiful, but yay Cold Cold Heart. People warned me. Whether op's wife worked?

No, she has never worked since I've known her. She said her dream was to be a stay-at-home wife. But even when she was complaining she was bored of it, I said she could get a part-time job, and she said no.

She really doesn't like to work. If being honest, yep, she'd always complain about being bored or just unfulfilled. I said, "Well, you could get a part-time job.

" She acted like that was beneath her, so I have no clue what she really wanted. She would shut down and tell me to stay home more. That was impossible with the lifestyle we were trying to give the kids, and she is very high maintenance.

So, nothing was ever good enough. I don't understand her, and probably never will. Where they are currently living, from what her sister is telling me, yes, they are living in different parks.

And last night, when she came with the cops, she was getting all the clothes she could carry. A week ago, they all were in a motel. I presume paid for by him because I closed the accounts and said the debit card was stolen.

She has no money. Wife's ex-husband, the story she gave me was her ex-husband beat her and abused her, so she was happy he abandoned her. I believed her, but now, not so much.

I've never met the man in the last five years, yet his kids have been in my life. Yes, I guess I was a fool, and I admit that I was a sucker for her beauty and her fake love for me. Some other relevant information: She has sisters and a mom.

She's not close with her mom or her sisters except one. So, she might take her, but she's younger, kind of living her life in her 20s just graduated college. They don't have their biodad.

Just me. So, I don't know. I think they would go to foster care if being honest here, but I would take them in if I could.

I just don't want the drama with her. If she can just leave me the kids and go, then I'd be good so I can start to heal. This is too painful to deal with at times.

Yes, the car is in my name. I pay for her phone bill as well. Thanks, you all.

I'm scared to turn off her phone because my son left his cell phone here in his room, and I believe my daughter has hers on her because she posted on Facebook a very sad message. Then she blocked me from looking at her page because I was leaving her messages. I think it was her mom that did.

I literally have no contact with them except today she took me off block from her phone to text me and call. She completely iced me out. The kids started school a few weeks ago, but now I don't think they are going because their backpacks are in their rooms.

I looked and all their clothes are there. She only came to get more clothes for her. Yes, I am calling CPS to see what they have to say.

Have to be honest. I was heating. Don't know why I am so scared of her reaction.

Update 1 on 8th Sept 2022. I met up with her at the gas station by the house when she was crying on the voicemail. I gave in, sorry, I'm only human.

I do love her, but I am done with her now. When I got to the gas station, I was shocked to see her, as I think people are right that she is on drugs. In just three weeks, my wife was already small, but she is bony now.

And my wife always dressed beautifully. Even casual. She was in literal sweatpants.

Rags. But her nails were done, whatever. I gave her $200 for food and gas.

Her guy was in the car as well as my kids. I said I will take the kids. Please, they can go to school or have your family pick them up.

She said no. She wants her kids with her. That they are no longer any of my concern.

This killed me inside as I've been dad for five years. They call me dad, and I love those kids with my heart and soul. She refused to say if they are in school.

Don't worry. I called CPS today and left a voicemail. I said, "You have another kid, remember?

" She says, "Yeah, I love her and miss her, but right now I do not want to be in her life. " And need to respect that and get over it. She is better off with you.

She literally said, "I don't want to be in her life. " I said, "Are. .

. " You in love with that guy? She said, "Yes, she is.

" She made that clear. She doesn't want to talk about it. I said, "Okay, I want a divorce," and she said no.

She doesn't want to discuss that either. She does not want to give me a divorce. Well, shocker!

I am getting in contact with a lawyer. Then she says I must pay the car note on Friday. I said nope, not going to happen, or your phone bill.

She said he will pay my phone bill, but you will pay my car note. It's my car, it's in my name though, so that will be a fight for me in the future. Whatever, not arguing, bye-bye.

But the craziest thing, she says, "I love you" loud as hell as I walked away. I didn't even turn around or say it back, that was it for me. Oh, my birthday is tomorrow and I ask it can I take the kids out to eat with me.

I plan on going to my favorite steakhouse with my daughter and family. I would love for them to come. She said absolutely not.

So, I said, "Are you really sleeping in parks and why? " She got upset and said I need to mind my business. So, yeah folks, thank you so much for all advice.

I was scared to call CPS, but I did it. I feel like this is a long emotional battle that I am already drained of. Update 2 on 8th Sept 2022, yep, and now she's calling again, saying she wants to meet at our storage sometime tomorrow so she can get her stuff out, but I don't trust it.

I am not meeting her anymore, that's it. My lawyer will deal with it. Update 3 on 8th Sept 2022, my son called me tonight on her phone to tell me happy birthday.

Weird that she's letting him use her phone to call me of all people. I asked him where was he at. He said they are staying at this guy's mom house for the night.

They are staying in one room at his mom's house. I felt like snapping, even though I'm cold and over the situation. I am beyond angry at her for putting them in this situation.

I did tell him I loved him. I left CPS yesterday, but we'll try to get an appointment to go in person. I'm out of work for 2 weeks to take care of my little one, so I will do everything in these next two weeks that are important, but I'm so drained emotionally.

Sometimes it feels like I'm quicksand. Update four, busy day went to the school and spoke with the principal. She says my kids have been going to school, they missed a few days.

Well, I'm shocked honestly because I didn't think they had clothes because their rooms still have their backpacks and clothes in them. So, I'm confused. However, I told her the situation, and she called DCFS.

I called and talked to them as well, also called my wife's mother who really couldn't care less, but it was a good try. I made a fake Facebook page and obtained photos from my stepdaughter's account of the four of them taking pictures in a dark Park just a few days ago. The park overlooked the city, so I was trying to see where it was located, but it was very dark except the flash from the camera.

They were all smiling and taking tons of pics, so that is proof that they are sleeping in random parks and are not stable at all. Still trying to find the perfect lawyer, called a few places. My stepson called last night to wish me happy birthday, and he said they were at the guy's mother's home sleeping for the night.

That is all he told me before hanging up. I have not heard from any of them after that, even though she claimed yesterday I needed to meet her at the storage so she can get all their things out. Thanks everyone for the words, messages, and concern.

Update 5 on 10th Sept 2022, my wife showed up at the house demanding car payment money Friday night. I told her I was not paying it, and she said that she wants to talk about coming back to me. I said no, I do not want you here, please leave.

There is no car payment money, I am not paying it. She refused to leave and brought the kids into the house. I called the police, and they came.

She said it was her house, and I told them the situation. They asked her to leave, and she said okay. She told me she will be filing for divorce on Monday, and I told her I already have a lawyer working on it.

As she was pulling out of the driveway, I see a van at the end of the driveway, and it's her guy driving, waiting for her. Our daughter was not home on the weekend, she likes to stay with my mom so I'm thankful she was not there to see the big drama, not that her mom even asked about her or asked how she was. I told the cops my kids were living in her car, and they need to go check the car because she has everything in the back seat as well as her dog living in the car.

She lied and said they are living in a motel and all that stuff in her car was from her taking it from the house when she left. She went outside and talked to the cops. I'm so over the drama when she came into the house.

She was acting very weird. It was at night, and she had on sunglasses. I told her to take them off, and it looked like she had a black eye.

I asked her what happened, and she said it was from lack of sleep. She looked a lot better than the last time I saw her, though. So nope, I did not pay the car payment.

I feel guilty. I know people want me to report it stolen, but I feel like my kids are going through a very traumatic time. The principal of their school, as well as CPS, have all the information.

I wouldn't mind taking the kids in and raising them myself, but I feel like right now they would be better off with her family as they are aware of the situation. So tonight, I get a ding; it's her asking can I pay for medicine for my daughter because they are all coming down with COVID or the flu. I ignored it and I go back and forth about blocking her or not, for some reason I can't.

My daughter called and she did sound stuffy, so I said can we meet at CVS. She said yes, and we meet. I buy them some stuff.

He was not with her. I also bought them some food. She said can we talk.

I said no. As soon as I get back home, it's my son texting from her phone asking me can he come visit me next week. I said I really don't know, he should be focused on school and I will see them soon.

This is very draining for me. I'm feeling like I might block her number for now, at least until I meet with my lawyer next week. I am feeling extremely guilty not paying the car payment, but standing my ground about it.

Thank you guys again. Question: Why can't you adopt the kids, OP? I completely agree, but she told me these are her kids and they are going to be with her.

I was willing to let them live with me, but I've decided it's for the best that they don't at this time. I've noticed CPS, their school, and also her family if she agrees to hand over custody or I can adopt them so that they are safe with me. I'd be willing, but I don't want anything to do with her; taking them in right now means dealing directly with her.

I don't want to deal with her anymore. Update: On 11th Sept 2022, well she's back begging to come home. She says she's sorry and she's broken up with the guy.

She called me to pick our son up; he told me he's tired of sleeping in the car. He tired to run away. I told him he can come home and he's here now.

She let him come. My daughter says she wants to stay with Mom. Shortly after, I got a text saying she's sorry and that it was a bad decision.

How she's been alone this past week, she is talking about suicide, saying she's done with life. I told her she can't come here. I'm sorry that the guy is treating her badly today.

I thought they were doing good, and she said I really don't know her. She was having a nervous breakdown and mental issues. She didn't know what to do but run.

I didn't respond, but my son is here, guys. I'm so happy. New update: on 18th Sept 2022, well my wife is still on the streets with this.

My son was with me, he wanted to come home, he was tired of living on the streets, so he begged to come home, she agreed, and I agreed. My daughter wanted to stay with her mom, but she decided last week to come home too. Well, she was home for all of 2 days.

When she came home from school one day, she ran away. We found her underneath a bridge closed to our house. She is going through mental issues, and I'm trying to get her some help.

I am feeling for divorce, and when I told my wife, she cried and told me that she is sad, but she is in love with this guy. Fast forward days ago, she calls me crying, saying this guy is acting up, he told her he feels like he's taking on too much with her and that he needs to take a step back. He's only 24 years old, and he said at first he felt the connection strongly, but he just wants to focus on him.

She called me crying, upsetting. She came and got the kids and all their clothes. She says she's going to LA to get into the homeless program there.

I asked her not to take the kids, and she said no, she wants the kids with her. And she thanked me for everything, she then asked could we talk about us getting back together. I calmly told her not that won't happen, she hurt me too bad and I can't just go back to the past.

I forgive her, but I am numb now. I just want a divorce and to raise the kids. I told her we could at least do that so they can be happy, and we don't have to be together to make that happen.

She left the house, and I got a call this morning, she said she was going to kill herself today. She thanked me again and said she's done with living. Everyone has hurt her.

She tried to make me feel guilty. I just called the cops and explained to them she has my kids and threatening to harm herself. I don't know where she is.

Every time I feel a little closer to being myself and happy again, she does something that pulls me back into an abyss of darkness in Hell. The stress will kill me for sure. Question: About contacting the police regarding the suicide threat.

I gave the police a description of the car and of. . .

Herr told them she frequents the local parks and the kids' school because they might show up tomorrow, but she also said she's going to Los Angeles to get into a homeless program that will help her with a job. Commentator in the original post wearing OP about the manipulation tactics she is using. Yep, that is exactly what I told her.

I said, "Don't you know this is manipulating me? " She hung up and texted me that she hopes I tell our daughter how much she loved her. I tried to call her back and it goes straight to voicemail.

Question about the twins: Yes, me too. They were happy here. It felt good to have them home for that short time.

My daughter is not getting over her mom being gone, but she is adjusting well to her routine. That's because I'm in a better headspace. But every day, this woman takes me back 10 steps.

I swear I refuse to let this defeat me anymore. Question about their youngest daughter: She has never asked to take her youngest daughter, and I would never let her go. For some reason, she just wants the other two kids.

New update 24th Sept 2022: She didn't harm herself; she just went missing a few days ago. She dropped the twins off at our doorstep. They are now safely with me.

They are back into the routine of eating every day, consistently taking showers, having fun in our backyard like kids do. All three of them are really hanging close to each other. Our 4-year-old is smiling again.

She loves having her brother and sister here with her. Last night, they all begged me to order pizza and watch a movie. So I said, "Yes, okay, let's do it.

" This was the happiest I've been in months, just looking around at my kids laughing and having a good time. I am content right now, but I still have anxiety that she will show up and snatch them away from me. I've been in constant contact with CPS just in case because I have a strong feeling she is coming around soon.

She's only called once since dropping them off, telling me that she is with her boyfriend and they are more in love than ever, blah blah blah. She says that he has inspired her to get a job and start making her own money so they can get a home, and then she will be back for the twins. So right now, she is supporting his dreams, and he is supporting hers.

Yeah, okay, cool. She also apologized about threatening to harm herself. She says she was just stressed.

I'm done with her madness, just focused on me and the kids. I am also planning on taking them on a mini vacation at the end of October to Disney World. Her phone bill was due Friday, and Verizon sent me a reminder.

I did not pay it and I called them to see if I can somehow get out of the contract because not paying eventually will end up on my credit report. So I'll more than likely have to pay money to break the contract. Either way, she's costing me money.

Forgot to tell you guys: Her Weedman showed up at our house. I had no idea who this guy was and what he wanted. I saw him on Ring and asked him what was up.

He says he needs to talk to my wife. I said, "That's not my wife; we are divorcing. Who are you?

" He said, "Can I come to the door? It's urgent. " And I said no.

He tells me that my wife has run up a weed tab of close to 2k, and she has not paid him. He wants his money. I'm floored in shock.

He said that my wife told him I would pay him. I said no. I have nothing to do with this.

Leave. So he says if I see your wife, it's going to be problems. Immediately I call her and she sends me to voicemail.

The great some others she's brought upon me. I'm thinking of calling the cops to tell them my wife is giving out the address to strange people who are showing up at my door. Can they do anything?

New update 9 on 6th October 2022: If you don't know my story, please check it out before I update you all. Just a brief Story Time: My wife left me and our four-year-old daughter for a mechanic that we befriended at the mechanic shop. Literally has been homeless with this man as I put my life back together.

Please go through the original thread for all the updates. There is a lot. I thought I'd make a new post.

Last weekend one of the twins got sick, and I had to rush her to the ER. They told me she has appendicitis and has to get her appendix removed. I called her mom, who took about 40 minutes to arrive.

She comes in with her boyfriend immediately. I got pissed off and told him to leave because I had my four-year-old and the other twin with me. I don't need this guy around.

So he's acting calm, telling me we need to go somewhere and just talk man-to-man. I told him no. I have nothing to say to him.

The entire time, my soon-to-be ex-wife is telling me to stop. She doesn't even rush to the back to check on our daughter. She just stands there and tries to console him as I'm telling him to piss off.

I could tell my kids were getting upset, so I went to another part of the hospital and left them standing there holding on to each other. The doctors tell me my daughter's surgery will be an emergency that morning. And her mo is hearing this.

Well, guess what she asks just how. Long will it be because her new stud has to go to work, and she's his ride. I told her to just go, leave, just go take him to work.

At this point, I'd been there for a little over 2 hours myself, and that whole night at home, my daughter, who was 13, cried in stomach pain. So, my wife says, "okay, yeah, I'll be back before she goes back into surgery. I'll just drop him off at work.

" Well, that was last week, and we haven't seen her since. She never came back to the hospital. She did call yesterday to ask how did it go and if she can come get some food.

I told her if she shows up, I'm calling the cops. I've also asked her to surrender the vehicle she's in that I pay for and is in my name, or I'll get the cops involved. I'm beyond over her, so disgusted with her.

When I made that original Post, yeah, I had a little hope she would come back to me. Now, I have nothing at all for her. She even told me on the phone I sound more and more harsh with her.

I am trying to get full custody of these kids. Yeah, they're my step kids, but I will not, on any circumstances, let them go back with her. She will have to call the police on me first.

I can tell the kids are conflicted. They love her, of course, and they want the old her back, but she is gone. They are hurting, waiting for her to show up, but she is gone, gone in love, gone in drugs, gone in la la land.

It's the truth. I've accepted the situation for what it is. I have a divorce lawyer.

She told she will never sign the papers. She doesn't want a divorce. She wants me to understand that she is just going through a life crisis and to accept it.

I don't care. She can do what she wants, but she can't drag us in the middle of it anymore. The locks were changed on Monday.

She has no place here, no home to come to. The car will be out of her possession soon as well as when I pay off her phone bill. I finally realized and came to grips with the reason she was able to continue to hurt us was because I was still waiting and wishing for that old person that I fell in love with to show up.

But the old person didn't just leave. This is who she was all along, and by enabling her, allowing her access to me and our kids freely, was damaging everyone. She has to be cut off completely, which is scary because she can take her kids anytime because legally I never adopted.

I am ready to fight the good fight when it comes down to it, guys. I'm free. I cried one last time and smiled right after.

I feel really good even as she continues to try to hurt us and rain on our parade. We will continue to be a family, just the four of us. These kids are amazing, and they deserve the best the world has to offer.

I don't respect her as a woman or as a mother. Pray for us as we go through this uphill battle of getting her out of our lives for good. My wife has a younger sister that she was very close to.

They would talk every day when my wife was living at home, and her old self. Her sister called me crying. She has not spoken to her and will not answer any of her calls.

When my wife first left me, she was talking to her sister. Then she has also blocked her sister on social media. My wife's mom said my wife is on drugs, and all they can do is pray for her.

Apparently her and mechanic have been seen around town begging for money and food. They are staying in a raggedy motel across town, and when they can't afford that, they just sleep in the car together. Oh, and she told me she pawned her wedding rings, yep, both rings I got her gone, straight up told me to my face.

The great news is my wife's family don't really want to take care of the twins because they have a lot going on in their own lives. So nobody is fighting me to take them. My wife agreed some weeks ago the twins will be with me until she finds a stable home.

She told me she might even go into a homeless program and she will be back for them. Then I am filing emergency custody next week. Question: How's your 4-year-old taking this?

She had a hard time in the beginning, and she still has her moments. There are times she asks for her mom, like when she's sleepy or randomly she'll ask, "Where is mommy? " When she saw her at the hospital, she didn't react the way I thought she would, maybe because she was sleepy, but she was kind of looking suspicious of her.

My wife did acknowledge her this time for a few seconds. She came up and rubbed her arm and said, "Hi. " My daughter was silent, but that's the only exchange.

I went to another part of the hospital and left her and her [Music] guy.