Study yourself to become confident

listen if you want to unlock Ultimate confidence if you want to feel like your authentic self and vibrate on the highest level you need to get to know who you are you need to get to know what you like what you don't like what you accept what you will not accept this is the whole key the biggest thing in life that you should study is you is your behaviors it's how you act once you know who you are no one can tell you anything want to say a huge thank you for betterhelp for sponsoring this

video betterhelp is an online therapy platform with over 30,000 therapists the therapists are there to give you unbiased and helpful advice with any issue that you might be facing there are so many therapists at your disposal that you can choose from and if you don't like the therapist that you are matched up with better help gives you the option to switch therapist with no additional charge which in real life honestly that would not happen so if you don't know where to begin to find a therapist or where to even look at and you don't want

to leave your house better help is the best platform for that because it's all out of the comfort of your own home you can just browse and look at different options to get start you fill out a questionnaire to help assess your specific needs and then you'll get matched with a therapist in as little as a few days you can schedule video phone or message based sessions whatever you are most comfortable with so let better help connect you with a therapist all out of the comfort of your own home you can do this by visiting

the link in description or betterhelp.com wizardz what you can also do is click on Wizard Liz during sign up and you will enjoy a special discount with your first month hi guys my name is Liz and welcome back to my channel okay let's get into it first things first need you to realize is that there is no self so what you are right now is just made of beliefs by your parents by the people around you by your friends Society whatever right I think a lot of times if for example beauty standards if they weren't

there a lot of people wouldn't look how they look right now because there there's nothing to look up to or to follow a lot of people wouldn't do certain jobs because it's it's not like oh that's accepted in society and that other job is shamed in society like made up in a societal structure that we follow unconsciously and consciously what I love about that is that when there is no self we can also change it and we can become who we feel is most authentic and makes us the most happy and how we do that

is by first of all changing the way you talk to yourself see your whole life your parents have told you things about yourself your friends have told you things about yourself and in childhood you adapted those traits as who you are so for example when I was very young I was told that I wasn't smart okay by one of my Abus parents like you're not smart whatever shut up blah blah a woman should never talk and then I started to now even in adulthood I doubt my intelligence because of what I was told in childhood

but now I reaffirm to myself no you are smart you know so much you have so much knowledge and I reaffirmed that to myself to change those beliefs because I want to control what I believe and I want to shape who I am to myself the same way when you were younger and someone told you you're not beautiful you're not good-looking later in life you will always remember that unconsciously and you be like insecure about your looks or think like oh this is not good enough and all these things you can tell yourself right now

that you are you can look at yourself right now and be like you are the most gorgeous hottest thing on earth like wow when I look at you I am mesmerized you can tell yourself these things and even when you say like oh no I don't believe it I don't want to say it why don't you believe it beauty is a madeup societal structure right for a lot of people people that are even considered beautiful let's say to you are not beautiful to other people you know you know how many times I heard that I'm

not good-looking and all these things and I see why they think that because it's their perception and I'm probably not their type and I don't care to be their type but does that mean that I when I look in the mirror I have to say that to myself or I have to say their affirmation of their perception of me to myself no I can create my own perception my own world my own character of who I am another thing you should ask yourself is are you acting or are you reacting to life so I actually

had this conversation with my therapist and she was like Liz you are very sensitive so whenever someone comes up to you and asks you like let's say let's go for a coffee let's go on a date whatever she's like because you're so sensitive you might think in your head like H you know what yeah let's go let's see what where it takes me and maybe this is the person but she's like you should start acting and you should like connect to your heart and think to yourself is this what I want H that moment you

should really ask yourself am I saying yes to this thing or to this invitation because I really want to go or am I scared to disappoint people do I feel bad for them and that's why I'm saying yes when you know that when you're saying yes it's authentic to what you want to do you'll become more confident when you know that when you're saying no it's authentic to what you want to do you'll become confident because you are living in accordance to your own voice another thing is think about what are your non-negotiables so let's

say for example for me in a relationship if my partner is not loyal that's it my partner knows and I know I will not stay there and I will not take this relationship seriously anymore that's my non-negotiable I do not budge on that I stand on it I do not care why let's say there is a couple right and they both decide okay we're going to be loyal we're going to be in a trusting relationship when one of that person breaks that trust it's traumatizing for that other person because now they're going to take that

on to their next relationship and start to distrust other people because it's like a sudden shock and I don't think people realize how cheating is a big trauma for a person for example in work you can think about okay if the boss is making rude comments whatever is that you're non-negotiable are you thinking no I will not accept that we cannot compromise on this I will leave the more you have your non-negotiables clear for you and you know that this I will accept this I won't accept and you stand on those boundaries that is the

more you will feel confident about yourself and the people around you will also start to respect you more a person that says if you cheat on me and and I discover that and they leave that is a person that is forever will be respected okay even by the other person because no matter what they do they can cry they can they can they can beg they can do anything for them but this person has so much selfworth has so much much boundary know there's one thing about women that I've noticed doesn't matter how long she

stayed with you doesn't matter how many years she put up with things once a woman in her head makes that switch of this is not what I want anymore she can even have stayed there for 25 years in this relationship okay once she knows in her head this is not what I want anymore I will not accept any further than this you can go take a hike this woman will not come back to you once a woman knows in her head you're not that person anymore she will not even be able to look at you

the same it will never ever come back I respect that so much I respect it like no no matter how many years it took no matter whatever it took for you to leave once a woman leaves she will boss up you will never recognize her anymore all the pain you put her through doesn't matter this woman will always come out on top we live in a society where our dopamine receptors in the brain are very worn out and that's dangerous when that happens because when your dopamine receptors are worn out nothing becomes exciting anymore so

people go to the extreme to feel a certain sense of excitement you can see this for example with people that from a very young age started drinking because alcoholism is so normal in this world and it's almost pushed upon everyone you know and I feel like because they normalize this later on because they've been drinking for so long they start to use like heavier substances and then later on these substances also don't do anything anymore so now you have a lot of people that are addicted since they were teenager and somehow we're all normalizing this

their dopamine receptors are completely worn out and they're depressed and don't feel any excitement anymore for anything in the world also look at what is triggering you and where is that coming from when I was younger in school I used to hate when teachers would tell me what to do and I would never even take it seriously why because at home I was constantly controlled I wasn't allowed to have a voice so the only thing I've ever wanted was freedom to speak my mind and to say what I want and just to be free okay

so when at school I was also controlled that would trigger me but but that was triggering the wound that I had back home and I needed to realize these things so I could stop acting in a way and hurting other people that had nothing to do with it I had to go back to the base of where is this coming from so I could work on that and that I could live in a way where I can respect others and honestly therapy has helped me a lot with that because when I was when I talked

to my therapists it was always about okay Liz where are you going wrong what are you doing that these situations keep happening again so that we can fix it and actually change your life instead of because people often think that therapists sit there and will just listen to you and act like you're good and that's it no they will make you take accountability and change your life I think what is also so important about understanding your triggers is that it makes you understand that you're not crazy it makes you understand that you're not a bad

person but you're just acting out of past wounds and I think that's beautiful I think that's putting sanity inside of your mind and being like you know what I'm not an aggressive person I'm just hurt and I've been hurt so many times that the only way my body is reacting right now is out of aggression because the moments that I was hurt I couldn't speak up for myself or I didn't say it so this is all P pent up anger and resentment that's coming out as an aggressive person but that doesn't have to be me

that doesn't have to Define me and you can change that when you understand where it's coming from it's good to acknowledge your feelings I think the way people can heal is when they are in touch with their feelings and emotions and when they don't demonize it the reason why you're sad is because you're hurt it's not because you're weak it's not because oh you're not strong enough to handle it no something hurt you and it's okay to cry it out because that's how you release whatever has hurt you but if you hold it in people

get physically ill from this people even die from illnesses by holding on to this pent up anger resentment and stress release it if it's crying for months release it that's the way you release okay whatever you have to do in whatever way release it if it's talking about it constantly over and over again until you're done talking about then do that do that I've told the same stories maybe 100 times but now I'm done telling those stories because it's out of my system thing is look at the patterns in your life that are repeating itself

over and over again because that is teaching you where your healing lies okay I've had multiple patterns repeat I've had my uh father in my life that was abusive and then I attracted my ex partner that was exactly a replica of my father in the beginning it was great and then it turned out to be he's just like my dad okay now why was this pattern coming up because I still had not come to terms with what happened with my father so it came back to me in a relationship form so I can see it

in front of myself and I almost felt like I was recreating my mother's and father's relationship with my ex partner and when I understood that and I was like wow but this is not what I want cuz if I have a child she will just be a little Liz again with the same traumas I don't want that for my child so that's when I said you know what no I don't want to continue this I want to stop the cycle of the same patterns happening again even in friendships even in relationships look at these people

and ask yourself are they repeating themselves over and over again am I experiencing the same thing over and over again then start thinking okay what is my lesson here why am I attracting the constant same person over and over again and you should instead of blaming take responsibility for your life okay I in my my life it's very easy to say you know what my life is because I had an abusive father no I took responsibility for my life I could have blamed him all day but it doesn't matter now does it cuz it's in

the past what I did with my life afterwards was all up to me and because I took the responsibility and I was like Liz you know what you're going to work on yourself you're going to become the best version of yourself you're going to become one of the strongest adults you've ever seen that's going to protect your inner child when I did that that's when I became successful that's when I had everything because I refused I refused to just succumb to the abuse to just be like it's your fault and I'm going to be the

victim here I was never the victim I was never the victim I was always going to be the person that was going to come out on top no matter what in any situation in any situation you put me in I will come out on top no matter what responsibility gives you the power over your life life and blame takes it away blame gives that abuser or that person that was bad to you or whatever they did to that gives them power but you have that power when you take responsibility and I like you know what

whatever you did to me how many times you lied to me how many times you cheated I am still going to come out on top when you do that you win you win and don't become addicted to your suffering a lot of you guys are so addicted to feeling that sensation ation of that stress again a lot of people around me even that also come from abusive childhood they act constant new drama they create for themselves constantly because that's the only thing they knew and that's what they're kind of addicted to that feeling of that

Rush again that drama again but don't don't become addicted to it have some you know what start to realize I'm not that person anymore I'm not that abused child I'm not that that that that person that was cheated on I'm not that person anymore I'm a different person now I don't need to create those situations again for myself I don't need to fight like I used to my life is calm now my life is peaceful and start to make that your reality say like you know what now I have a good life I'm I have

a great life actually you know start to say that to yourself and start to acknowledge that that's the past what has happened has happened that doesn't Define me today that's not who I am today and you guys are not going to treat me like that's who who I am today also start to realize that who feeds you and who takes from you okay so when I was a lot around my previous partner I started to think I'm depressed I'm depressed I'm sad like I'm always sad I'm isolated this is who I am that's what I

constantly thought but why did I think that because I didn't have any friends or family around me so I was alone with this person constantly so they could just make my mind in whoever they wanted to be and I started to believe that this is just who I I am but the minute I came and I visited my family I reconnected with old friends I realized I feel alive around these people I feel like I want to live and that's something that I haven't felt in a very very long time because my previous partner was

just taking from me taking taking taking and leaving me empty but when I'm here now I'm starting to realize it's an equal give and exchange I don't feel sleepy around these people I don't feel drained I don't feel like I want to take my life I feel like I want to live so when I understood the difference and after that I even think about like oh my previous partner I'm like no I don't want to ever do that again because I never want to feel how I felt how bad I felt I want to continue

being around people who I can give to and that give me the same way back in an energetical sense always feel it you will feel it when you feel fulfilled when you come home from someone let's say a friend and you feel like oh my God I need to sleep for 10 days now that person has drained you that's not your person you should feel like oh my God I have so much energy you know I I reconnected with this old friend of mine and whenever I'm around her I don't even need sleep we can

go on for days and days and days and we just have fun so Choose Wisely who you surround yourself with because that will also shape who you become I recently have been meeting a lot of people and I came from isolation to meeting a lot of people and I'm starting to realize okay I want to hang out with you but I wouldn't hang out with you not because they're a bad person but because their lifestyle doesn't align with what I would want in my life for example I've noticed that a lot of people have alcohol

addiction a lot of people have substance addiction especially now in this world and in the age that we live in and I was looking at that and they they party constantly and all these things and I was thinking like M you know if I become friends with you like really close friends and we go out and stuff I don't want that to become my life because I can see how it would distract me from my work and my purpose in this world and I feel like I would just get lost you know so I then

choose my friends like for example that old friend I that I reconnected with she has the same morals as me that's the same kind of vibration I'm on if you choose people that constantly like that aren't really connected to them elves and want to escape from reality because that's what I truly think that alcohol subtance all these things are you just don't want to face reality you don't want to face yourself so if you surround yourself with people that constantly party do that and I want to escape reality you'll become the other person as well

and eventually you'll feel like you're losing yourself nothing in excess is good too much of anything is bad for you think in the long run if you hang out with people you just become them you can even see that physically best friends and stuff they start to look alike their Aura your aura gets mixed and your energy get mixed if you look at this person you think hm I would not want to be like them I would not want to live the way they live then that's not your person and then you choose people that

do align to your lifestyle and who you want to be also start looking at what are people what are books what are TV shows songs teaching you everywhere we look we have m messages we have signs and it's almost like God and the universe is constantly talking to us but it's for us to really open our eyes and look at the signs okay so for example if you read a book right now and if I read a book I will see that book in my perspective and I will take from that book what was important

for me and in my world you had a whole different lesson from that book what was important for you and your life and your perspect perspective right that's how we get those signs also like people that come up to you like I recently met this guy in the weirdest way possible such a Divine thing okay he taught me a lot about myself he was he taught me about my attachment style in relationships and he was like Liz you have avoidant attachment style and I was like whoa what is that and explain to me and it's

basically that when a person feels more safe alone they will like be in relationships but they will never want to fully commit and that's what I have so I will if someone brings up marriage to me I get scared okay I'm like no no I don't want to do that but it's because in my head I feel most safe when I'm alone because I didn't have people around me when I was younger that I could trust so when I felt safe was when Liz was alone in her room that's when I felt safe so I

constantly go back to that I never even thought about my attachment style because what I constantly ract are anxious attachment people so these are people that are have abandonment issues they afraid of getting rejected they're afraid of getting abandoned and because of that trauma they get obsessed with me because I kind of reject them I kind of always hold this distance you know but both of us are acting out of a trauma response that was so interesting when that person told all of this to me because I was starting to realize when I was meeting

more people like I don't like how they become so almost obsessed or controlling over me immediately and then I started to realize but I'm attracting anxious people that all have rejection wounds that have abandonment wounds and because of the way I act with with which is in a rejecting way they become obsessed not because I'm a great person but because I'm their trauma and when I realize this I'm like oh my God I'm I'm going to have to start to work on my own issues so I won't attract these people anymore because it's scary but

look how this person came into my life to teach me that and for me to change that you can also do is take a paper and write down okay who am I what do I love what don't I love what do I do for fun what are my hobbies what were my hobbies when I was younger how do I want people to treat me how do I think that I treat people these are all questions you can write down and ask yourself and you'll have all the answers you'll have like this little example of who

you are as a person another thing is living in the now and this is something my sister has told me so many times lately because I was like oh Sabina but I I want to achieve this oh Saina in a month I'm going to do this and she constantly reminds me Liz live in the now just think about now live your life right now look at around you live now and constantly because I'm reminded of that I feel like I appreciate life more and I'm not running from it I feel like my my whole life

I've just been running and going to the next thing and that's why I've never felt fulfilled by anything because I'm not acknowledging it you know I'm not acknowledging it yeah okay I went viral I went viral on YouTube amazing people would have thrown a party because of it I was just like no what's next what's next what's next that's why I never realized what was happening because I was never living in the now I was always living in the future that's how anxiety comes up that's how you have more stress because you're constantly thinking about

the future but if if you think right now what can I do now what what I have what tools can I use and what can I create now that's when you create the future cuz the future doesn't exist right past also doesn't exist what we have is now when you don't appreciate now nothing else will flourish good to have goals but don't live for it don't live for the future don't become a slave of the future what people think about you is none of your business people can think whatever they want okay when you put

something out there when you create something you will always attract people on your vibration or that are meant to see whatever you put out whether it's positive or whether it's negative they were meant to see what you put out there you just have to create that's it all of the rest doesn't matter because it's not your business you will never control their mind you will never control how they think and that's just why would you want to be in someone El's head be in your own head think about your own stuff why are you there

be here be present again once you start to realize that what others think about you is none of your business and whether you are the best person on Earth they will not like you still you can be the most PG nice person ever and people will still have something bad to say about you when you accept that when you accept that you know what criticism I love it it's a part of life you have the good you have the bad and it's beautiful both ways when you accept that you live like yourself authentically you're you

don't have any fear because you don't have anything to to worry about I don't have to why would I worry about millions of people's brains why I don't have time for that so I just put myself stff out there and what what you think of it it's up to you but somewhere you saw that video of me because you needed that whether it hurt you or whether it helped you you needed that last but not least I think believing in yourself is one of the highest ways of connecting with yourself you know when everyone tells

you like oh no you don't deserve to have that you don't deserve to have this and you tell yourself but I do I want whatever I want in life if I want to have the best life and if I want to say let's live like a queen and I want to be treated like a queen I can have that and who is anyone to say that I don't deserve that lots of people have it it exists in this world whatever exists I can have as well start to say that to yourself when you're like you

know I want to be the most confident beautiful amazing smart person that I am that's it that's how fast life will change for you because you decided that for yourself that's who you want to be and that's who you already are so you start unlocking that version of you if you listen to no you shouldn't be living like that no you shouldn't have this no you shouldn't when you listen to that it will Cloud your mind it will start to be like oh my God no they told me I was not deserving of a good

life so now I won't have a good life but what are you a slave what are you a SL slave to these people no really start thinking to yourself am I a slave or am I a free spirit am I a free soul that came to this earth to live my best life possible and to help and create in this earth the best way possible really one thing in life that I've always valued because I didn't have it was freedom and I'll be damned if someone ever takes that away from me again anyways guys I

hope you enjoyed this video I hope you learned something from the this video and yeah I see you in the next video bye-bye love you