Married My Childhood Sweet heart, but He Cheated. So I Found Love Again With a Man Who Rarely...

married my childhood sweetheart but he cheated so I found love again with a man who rarely said I love you I am using a different account so that my husband doesn't know before meeting my current husband I was married to my ex-husband Dave Dave and I met when we were 5 years old he moved into our neighborhood when he was five he was this cute boy next door we became Inseparable even our parents joke that when we would be adults we would be married ever since I knew the concept of marriage I was determined that

I would marry Dave we were like soulmates we had the same interest the same Hobbies the similar thoughts he was my first everything my first kiss my first boyfriend the guy I lost my virginity among our friends we were the perfect couple after graduating high school we immediately got married I got into a good school but I decided to study with Dave we got married right after we finished high school our parents helped us find an apartment closer to our school we worked hard we would often talk about having kids on our 6th anniversary we

decided that we would try for a baby next year I still remember the day when when we were teenagers and cuddling we already decided what our babies names would be during our seventh year of marriage my mom got sick so I had to stay with her for a while I was planning to do something special for our 7th year anniversary so I left early to surprise him I went to my bedroom and there I saw my husband another girl in our marital bed I can never get that image out of my head my husband saw

me and his face turned a pale I don't know what happened but I threw up right in the spot my husband was giving me the usual it's not what it looks like I am sorry it was a mistake I I locked myself in the bathroom I somehow mustered my strength and called my friend to pick me up and just don't listen to Dave when my friend arrived she charged at Dave she grabbed some of my things and we left I was in a catatonic stage at that point eventually my parents knew they supported on whatever

decision I would make Dave's parents however wanted us to be together there was a huge fight but eventually we settled for divorce my whole fairy tale fantasy just shattered I was spiraling into depression my parents booked me a therapy for 2 years I was like a living corpse after that my friend pushed me to go on a date I did but no one even came close to Dave I was searching for Dave and every guy but they all failed to live up to the expectation that is when I met my now husband Jay Jay was

the opposite of Dave Dave was funny he would be the life of the party I remember one time he made me laugh so hard that I fell from my chair but Jay was not funny like Dave he would use humor only as clapbacks and if he wants to insult someone he was also very stoic and closed off pretty boring to my taste on our first date I asked him some questions like what is your favorite movie he told me he doesn't watch movie he like reading he didn't even ask me a thing except for my

educational background he talked mostly about my field of work but he was not interested in me we ate dinner in silence I was 100% sure he will not call me but 2 days later he did he asked me out on a second date I was skeptical of whether or not I should go but my friend insisted I gave it another try second date went slightly better than first he talked a bit more asked few questions we were taking it slow he was opening up until the sixth date when he finally hooked up TMI it was

amazing I am someone who has a snack after having sex I was craving for some so I asked him if I could grab something from his Pantry even a bread and cheese sandwich will do he told me to stay there and he went out I was kind of confused he came back after 20 minutes with takeout food it was something I really liked orange chicken I asked how he knew he told me you told me on our previous date I melted right there Dave and I have been together together for most of my life but

he never made the effort of going out and get me something that's when I knew even if he was not my soulmate I was madly in love with him we dated for 3 years and got married I came to know about Jay's family too his mom and dad were drug addicts who died of Overdose he was homeless for a while but worked his way up throughout our marriage I was very very happy he was different from Dave because whenever he would see me doing chores he would ask need help he helped me through my Trauma

from Dave by arranging a therapist that specializes in infidelity he may not be a person of wor but his actions tells me that he loves me when I was pregnant with our daughter I would wake him up in the middle of the night to either get me food or rub my feet he would say yes ma'am and get to work I love him even after 15 years of marriage my love has not stopped he is still the stoic man I fell in love with after meeting him I stopped believing in the concept of a soulmate

he was not mine but we somehow make it work I love you Jay thanks for being there in my life and anyone who is wondering what happened to Dave he is getting his third divorce his mom blames me for his downfall but she refuses to see that her son cheated on his every marriage more information from op from the outside Jay and I don't look like your typical soulmates honestly Dave and I seem like the ideal couple your typical girl next door and boy next door kind of people Jay on the other hand was a

bit more closed off and when I first started dating him I actually thought he was kind of rude he has a temper especially when it comes to people who mess things up but beyond that he's a genuinely kind person especially to those who really need help despite his rough edges there's a goodness in him that runs deep now in terms of our relationship well it's been 18 years and let's just say that the physical aspect is still alive and well Jay's the kind of guy who keeps things spicy and yes even after all these years

he still surprises me with dessert after it's the little things you know but of course not everyone has been supportive of us especially not Dave's mom she blames me for his downfall can you believe that in her mind if I had just stayed with him maybe he wouldn't have become a Serial cheater she even tried to convince me to stay knowing full well about his cheating claiming I could have fixed him it's absurd she blames me for his marriage after me failing saying he was a mess because of me not because he was sleeping around

behind their backs too and as for Jay I wouldn't call him my soulmate he doesn't even believe in soulmates when I asked him about it once he told me he thought the idea was crap like horoscopes something people believe in because it makes them feel better he even thinks that a lot of good relationships get ruined because people are chasing the idea of a perfect soulmate I was a little devastated when he said that but but that's Jay always practical can you believe in these 18 years we've only said I love you maybe five times

I've always wanted to say it more but that's not really how we operate still even without all the Romantic fluff there's something real between us and that's enough for me update one my husband 47m and I 46f have been together for 18 years and married for 15 my husband is not the type who always shows his feelings he is very stoic Smiles on very few occasions and maintains a routine some even say that he is a robot but I don't think so I am someone who is very outgoing and completely the opposite of him before

I was married to him I was married to someone else who cheated on me I used to say I love you a lot in my first marriage but after my divorce I had some sort of aversion to those words over the last 18 years we have said I love you only five times first time was when we were dating second was on our wedding day third and fourth when our daughter and son was born fifth was 5 years ago on Christmas when we were really Tipsy because of the drinks I wrote a post about how

I met him and how we got together but it made me realize that we haven't said I love you to each other for a long time but it didn't bother me even if he never said it he always shows that he loves me and his actions he does chores for me he would always give me a foot massage make me my favorite dish even kiss me out of the blue I do not have any complaints he is the best husband anyone could ever ask for but this was something that has been in the back of

my mind for a while we cuddle we hang out we make love but still know I love us I would love to hear it and say it more often but somehow it just makes me nervous I decided to buckle up and just say it it's just three words so yesterday when he was reading a book on the couch I stood in front of him and said I love you he looked at me and was confused I repeated it for the first time I could see him get flustered he told me okay I was a little

disappointed by his response I thought he just didn't love me anymore later that night when I was lying down he came to our bedroom and told me that he is sorry for his response that it caught him off guard he told me that he loves me a lot and not even a day goes by he doesn't feel lucky to have me in his life I was staring up that was better than my confession I asked him that why don't we say that often he told me that he doesn't say it because throughout his entire life

no one has said it to him except for me his parents were drug addicts who cared less for him he had to start working since 14 he grew up in hardship so saying I love us are weird for him but also he feels like we didn't have to tell each other when we express it with our actions way more I told him I want to say it more now and want him to say it back if that's okay with him I saw him smile for a while he said it is fine as long as I

want it I don't think we need to say when we know we love each other a lot we will probably stop saying it after a few days and go back to our mundane events L update to a lot of you people have been asking me and personally messaging me about Jay's upbringing and how he managed to survive well I am not sure if I am the right person to talk about his personal life I mean I heard some parts which really made me cry therefore I will try to summarize it so my husband Jay is

an only child his mom and dad were from a poor family they were drug addicts his household was a mess he remembers his father pushing him down the stairs when he was like eight Jay mostly grew up with his grandfather his mom's dad as far as I know his mom was not allowed to come to his grandfather's house Jay mostly spent his weekday at his house his mom and dad didn't care they were always high and have odd visitors his grandfather taught him a lot of things like handling tools woodwork Electric Repair stuff ever since

he was little with some advice from his grandfather he learned that his parents are very useless he has to survive on his own all they know is how due to drugs and invite people for having group sex he started doing odd jobs like dog sitting car and window washing gardening he also tutored from time to time shortly after his parents died of Overdose he became a permanent resident of his grandfather's house he worked so that he could afford to go to college his grandfather had little money for him but it wasn't enough he thought about

joining the Army at 18 but he failed the physical test when he was 17 his grandfather died of heart attack his grandfather lived in a rented house so Jay couldn't live there anymore he was forced to live in a homeless shelter throughout his high school he even got bullied and got in trouble for standing up for his bullies but since he was a good student he didn't face serious repercussion he left the homeless shelter when a pastor from their local church took him in he knew Jay because he worked in the church for a while

the pastor was a nice guy he funded his living and also helped him get a scholarship to a good University Jay studied fiance and business his entire childhood he lived in poverty so he was obsessed with learning how to make money he made some connections which landed him a good part-time job during his final year I met Jay through my friend she worked in the same company as him he worked as an investment banker at that time and the rest you all know this is pretty much it I understand why he is so stoic and

doesn't show his emotions I once asked out of curiosity that he saw the harsh reality of life but still how does he manage to stay good he once told me about this couple whose children he used to tutor they were a really happy family in his eyes the husband loved his wife he mentioned that the husband would always have a hand on his wife's body as a form of affection their children were also well behaved and had a good childhood from that moment he knew he wanted a family like that because he never had a

complete family but he was sure that somebody would not be able to love him because he doesn't know how to show love throughout his entire childhood he has only seen his parents fight and cheat on each other in front of each other that really destroyed his perception of love if it wasn't for that couple he probably wouldn't believe that there are people in this world who can love each other for life it is a little wrong of me to say he displays no emotions he does but on rare occasions I remember the day our daughter

was born Jay held her and cried loudly he kept repeating I will protect you I never leave you he did say I love you to both me and her same thing happened when our son was born I mean it gave me an idea to just pop out baby so that I can see his emotional face ha but anyways I know he does love me and our little family he always holds me tight whenever we are cuddling he is really good with my parents my parents also adore him sometimes it just makes me cry knowing that

he has been through a lot and I have lived such a sheltered life sometimes I feel like I don't deserve him because he is very kind and a good person also yeah we do say I love you a lot more now update three I just wanted to give big thanks to everyone for who has been kind and supportive I cannot imagine that so many people will come through because of my post a lot of you suggested therapy TBH I did in the past but my husband brushed it off by saying his past rarely bothers him

thanks to people I suggested him some articles on PTSD and childhood trauma he studied for a bit and found a therapist for him to help him with his trauma he only had two sessions till now few days ago he came home from work and I went to greet him like usual he pulled in for a big hug and started sobbing I told him it's okay we went to our bedroom where we sat down and talked he told me that he was sorry for being so ice cold all these years he opened up more and said

he was afraid to confront his demons so he just kept them back in his head he had trouble expressing how he felt he felt guilty that he didn't say he loves more often I am just paring what he told me I love you with all my heart I know I don't say it but I feel it every day and every moment I am I'm sorry for taking away all those years from you for not expressing my love for you words cannot express what you actually mean to me you gave me my kids made my house

a home I never had that growing up I always wanted that and you made it happen I am sorry that I was so cold and never said I love you more because I do I love you a lot I want to make it up to you I don't want to waste another second of my life burying those emotions anymore it feels good to see him vulnerable first time in his life I cried with him that night we talked a lot about our marriage and the times we spent it was a real bonding experience from that

day on he has been really attentive towards me he would always come home as early as possible to Simply have more time with me we cuddle a lot and also make love except this time it feels new and different like a newfound love he has been saying I love you to my kids my son is confused and my daughter just said dad you are weird he is thinking about planning a trip for just two of us because it has been really long since we had went on a trip alone so thanks folks you gave me

a new version of my husband and probably strengthened my marriage with him not that there was problems but I hope my husband would not be so haunted by his demons now now on to the next story story two plan my wedding for a year at a venue that doesn't allow pets my sis needs her service dog for anxiety but I said no my 27f wedding is coming up in a few months and it's supposed to be a big elegant Affair my fiance 29m and I have been planning it for over a year and we've spared

no expense the venue we chose is stunning but also very strict on rules particularly regarding pets due to its historical nature they've made it clear that no animals are allowed on the property except for legitimate service animals here's where the issue comes in my sister 25f has severe anxiety and a psychiatric service dog a Golden Retriever named Max who helps her with panic attacks and other symptoms Max is highly trained and well behaved but he's still a dog and the venue isn't willing to make any exceptions when my sister found out about the no dog

policy she was upset and assumed I would make a case to the venue for her and Max the thing is I've been waiting for this day my whole life and I don't want anything to to go wrong I'm worried that even though Max is a service dog he could still cause some sort of issue or be a distraction also I don't want to start a fight with the venue that could risk our deposit or the entire booking so I told her that while I would love to have her at the wedding I can't have Max

there I offered to arrange transportation and a pet sitter for Max nearby so she could check on him whenever she wanted but she said that wouldn't work because she needs him with her at all times she then said that if Max couldn't come she wouldn't be able to attend and now she's not speaking to me my parents are Furious and think I'm being heartless they said I should be willing to do anything to have my sister there on my special day some of my friends agree While others think my sister is being unreasonable for putting

me in this position additional info that op provides as for the situation with the dog I know some people think I'm being unreasonable or selfish but let me explain this in more detail the venue actually does allow dogs but that's not the main issue here for me it's about ensuring that everything on my wedding day is perfect and free from unnecessary stress or distractions I've invested so much time energy and money into planning this event and the last thing I want is anything even something as small as a dog throwing things off I don't want

to spend my special day worrying about anything else if that makes me the bad guy in some people's eyes then so be it at the end of the day I just want things to go smoothly and yes I've heard people say that if I don't bend on this some of my family might not even show up honestly if that happens it's just fewer people for me to worry about I'm not catering to everyone else's needs and opinions on my wedding day this is about me and my future if someone feels feel so strongly about not

coming just because of a request I've made for my own peace of mind then maybe they don't need to be there in the first place it's not like I'm going to lose sleep over it I'm focused on what matters and nothing is going to ruin that for me update August 13th 2024 wow I didn't expect my original post to get as much like it did I've gotten a lot of feedback some of it helpful most of it just well let's just say it wasn't what I was hoping for but since so many people are invested

in this situation I figured I'd give an update first off yes I was pretty harsh in my responses to some of the comments I won't apologize for defending myself but I do realize that I might have come off more aggressively than I intended planning a wedding is stressful and I let that get the better of me however that doesn't change how I feel about the situation with my sister and her service dog after thinking it over and talking with my fiance we've decided to stick with our original plan my sister has been informed that if

she wants to attend the wedding she needs to do so without the dog it wasn't an easy conversation and as expected she wasn't happy about it my parents are upset and a few family members have even threatened to boycott the wedding but honestly I'm okay with that it's our day and we've made a decision that we believe is best for us I understand that a lot of people think I'm being unreasonable or selfish but at the end of the day this is my wedding I'm not going to let anyone else dictate how it should go

if that means some people don't show up or that others think I'm a bridezilla then so be it I'd rather have a smaller more comfortable event than one where I'm stressed out and worrying about things going wrong to those who were supportive and offered constructive advice thank you and to everyone else who thinks I'm a terrible person well I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree