How To Be A Stoic - Epictetus (Stoicism)

Epictetus once said that of one thing beware Oh ma'am see what is the price at which you sell your will if you do nothing else do not sell your will cheap in the modern world stoicism is defined as the endurance of pain or hardship without the display of feelings and without complaint but the original philosophy was more than just an attitude according to the Stoics everything around us operates through a web of cause and effect resulting in the rational structure of the universe which they call logos and while we may not have control over the

events that affect us we do have control over how we approach things rather than imagining an ideal society and the Stoics see the world as it is while pursuing self-improvement through four cardinal virtues practical wisdom which is navigating complex situations with logic information and calmness courage which is to do the right thing and facing daily challenges with clarity and integrity justice in treating every human being regardless of his or her stature in life with fairness and kindness temperance or exercising moderation and self-control in all aspects of life stoicism was an active school of philosophy for

several centuries in Greece and Rome but as a formal institution it faded away that said its influence has continued to inspire several business leaders politicians and athletes to this day which is why in this video we'll be discussing twelve practical exercises according to the book how to be a stoic by Massimo Pigliucci that uses epictetus in Chi Rhydian which we can use in the modern world while mastering the force stoic virtues number one examine your impressions Epictetus says so make a practice at once of saying to every strong impression an impression is all you are

not the source of the impression then test and assess it with your criteria but one primarily asked is this something that is or is not in my control by this exercise Epictetus tells us to constantly examine our impressions that is our initial reactions to events people and what we're being told by stepping back to make room for rational deliberation avoiding rash emotional reactions and asking whether whatever is being thrown at us is under our control or not if it is under your control act on it if it isn't then just ignore it for example you

get stuck in bad traffic and you're getting late for work of course you could have done things which were under your control like pre-empting the traffic and leaving early but now since you are stuck in that traffic which is not under your control you could instead of being irritated or giving angry just listen to music keep calm and carry on number two remind yourself of the impermanence of things in the words of epictetus when giving your child or wife a kiss repeat to yourself I am kissing a mortal the truth is change is a universal

law of nature things are changing constantly life is ephemeral the people we care about may be snatched from us in a snap without warning therefore this exercise is about reminding ourselves how precious our loved ones are and that they may soon flow past let's appreciate what we have now because it might be gone tomorrow life is impermanent keep in mind that you're lucky to be able to enjoy the things you have and your enjoyment might end abruptly and you might never be able to enjoy those things ever again learn to enjoy stuff and people without

feeling entitled to them without clinging number-3 the reverse clause according to Epictetus whenever planning an action mentally rehearse what the plan entails it just isn't true the bad things only happen to bad people good or bad each of us is going to face certain situations this exercise is all about facing these situations with the best of your abilities while leaving the outcome to fate let's suppose that you're considered for a promotion at your job while we naturally think that our goal is to get the promotion the outcome of course is not in our control it

can only be influenced by us so you need to make your goal something that actually is in your power and not something that fate can rob you of which in this case would be to put together the best promotion file you can before the decision is made now you may get the promotion but there are chances that you won't the idea is not to absorb the injustice of not getting a promotion that was richly deserved rather it's to employ the wisdom that sometimes things won't go your way even if you do your best and regardless

of whether you deserved to get the promotion or not number four how can I use virtue here and now Epictetus informs us for every challenge remember the resources you have within you to cope with it according to Stoics we should use every occasion every challenge as a way to exercise our virtue to become a better human being by constant application going by the previous example it's very natural for you to feel upset for not getting a promotion that you thought you deserved or being envious of your colleague who got that promotion instead of you you

might even be angry at your boss for overlooking you instead by remembering your overarching goal which is just to be a decent person who doesn't do anything that's unvirtuous or that may compromise your identity or integrity you can let go of the negative feelings and take this situation as a learning curve and look for the ways you could improve your work performance the truth is all of us have a lot more self-control endurance and patience than we think we do number five pause and take a deep breath as we learn from the words of Epictetus

remember it's not enough to be hit or insulted to be harmed you must believe that you're being harmed if someone succeeds in provoking you realize that your mind is complicit in the provocation which is why it's essential that we not respond impulsively to impressions take a moment before reacting and you'll find it is easier to maintain control this is simple advice and yet it's really difficult and yet it's very difficult to pull off it's also it's also very very important the idea behind this exercise is to rationally examine our impressions regardless of whether they're negative

such as insults or positive such as feelings of lust we need to resist the impulse to react immediately in instinctively to potentially problematic situations instead we must pause and take a deep breath perhaps go for a walk around the block and only then consider the issue with logic and calmness once you start seriously practicing this exercise you'll see a dramatic improvement in the way you handle things and you'll inevitably get positive feedback from all the others who also see those improvements in you number six other eyes according to Epictetus when somebody's wife or child dies

to a man we all routinely say well that's part of life but if one of our own families involved then right away it's poor poor me we would do better to remember how we react when a similar loss afflicts others Epictetus reminds us here of just how differently we regard an event that has affected other people when the same event affects us it's easy for us to be calm when little inconveniences or even disasters happen to others rather than to ourselves for example when your friend loses or breaks his phone you'll tell him that it's

just a phone and it can go out and buy a new one but when you break your phone you'll lose your calm or even for more grievous matters like when your friend's wife dies you'd Consultant by telling in the deaths a part of life and that she's in a better place now but when you lose someone of your own you'll lose all your equanimity of course losing your phone is not the same thing as losing your wife but this exercise is all about understanding that accidents injuries disease and death are all unavoidable and while it's

understandable to be distraught over them we can take comfort in knowing that they're in the normal order of things the universe isn't after anyone or at least isn't after any one of us in particular number seven speak little and well Epictetus says well it's silence be your goal for the most part say only what is necessary and be brief about it on the rare occasions when you're called upon to speak then speak but never about banality is like gladiators horses sports food and drink commonplace stuff above all don't gossip about people praising blaming or comparing

them Epictetus gives us the list of things we should not talk about we may not talk much these days about gladiators but we do talk about star athletes movie and music stars and other celebrities instead of talking about difficult topics because we've been conditioned to think that serious talk is boring and at any rate requires more background knowledge and attention than most of us associate with good conversation Epictetus also advises to stay away from the conversation that's concerned with gossiping and passing judgments of people to indulge in gossip and judge people who aren't present to

defend themselves simply doesn't seem to be the virtuous thing to do initially this exercise will feel unnatural but over time the habit will eventually kick in so slowly change your conversational topics and respond less to gossiping and passing judgments and occasionally introduce a challenging topic of your own that's based on something you've recently read or watched and that you feel might lead to a mutually beneficial conversation with your friends number eight choose your company well Epictetus says avoid fraternizing with non philosophers if you must though be careful not to sink to their level because you

know if a companion is dirty his friends cannot help but get a little dirty too no matter how clean they started out Epictetus advises us to pay very close attention to whom we spend our time with this is great advice since life is short temptation and waste are always lurking and so we need to pay attention to what we're doing and who our companions are so start spending time with people who are interested in following virtue and cultivating their character Aristotle once said that we want to be with friends who are better than ourselves so

that we can learn from them ask yourself about the people you meet and spend time with are they making me better do they encourage me to push forward and do they hold me accountable or do they drag me down to their level and then consciously consider whom you allow into your life number 9 respond to insults with humor in the words of epictetus if you learn that someone is speaking ill of you don't try to defend yourself against the rumors respond instead with yes and he doesn't know the half of it because he could have

said more we get easily offended when someone speaks ill about us or insults us we take the insults too personally which spoils our mood and ruins our self-esteem instead we need to realize that the insults whatever speak about you is not in your control but how you react to it most certainly is Epictetus tells us to respond to insults with self-deprecating humor for example if someone trolls you for being overweight there instead of getting offended and getting useless broad replied by saying yes I'm fungally getting one step closer to being the heaviest person on the

planet and then give it a laugh by laughing off an insult we're implying that we don't take the insult and his insult seriously to imply this of course is to insult the insulter without directly doing so it's therefore a response that's likely to deeply frustrate the insult huh for this reason a humorous reply to an insult can be far more effective than a counter insult would be number 10 don't speak too much about yourself as we learn from epictetus in your conversation don't dwell at excessive length on your own deeds or adventures just because you

enjoy recounting your exploits doesn't mean that others derive the same pleasure from hearing about them we're all guilty of talking too much about ourselves we talk about ourselves 30 to 40 percent of the time that's a lot studies have shown that talking about ourselves is strongly associated with increased activity in the mesolimbic dopamine system the same part of our brain that experiences pleasure through things like food sex and money the truth is no one wants to sit through a slideshow from your latest vacation even when presented as tiny pictures on your latest shining iPhone no

one really wants to hear another person going on and on about themselves it's pretty safe to say that we're not as interesting as we think we are we need to exercise some self-control and refrain from talking too much about ourselves this will make our friends and acquaintances happier number eleven speak without judging to quote epictetus someone bathes in haste don't say he bathes badly but in haste someone drinks a lot of wine don't say he drinks badly but a lot until you know their reasons how do you know that their actions are vicious this will

save you from perceiving one thing clearly but then accenting to something different the idea is to distinguish between matters of fact to which we can assent if we find them justified by observation and judgments from which we generally ought to abstain since we usually don't have sufficient information the truth is we're all doing the best we can and we're not privy to the stories behind people's actions so we should be patient with others and suspend our judgment of them recognising the limits of our understanding one of the things one must work on is viewing the

world as objectively as possible if you see someone you might be inclined to judges overweight think instead of their exact weight which is a fact rather than the judgment that there's too much of it better yet see them as a whole person with all their objective characteristics rather than the one you'd single out the judgment adds nothing but unhelpful emotion see the world as it is and work from that finally number 12 reflect on your day as Epictetus teachers admit not to sleep into your tender eyelids till you've reckoned up each deed of the day

how have I heard what's done or left undone so start and so review your acts and then for vile deeds chide yourself for good be glad stoicism isn't just about thinking it's about action and the best way to improve is to review each evening you should examine your day in your actions find a quiet place in your house or apartment and reflect on what's happened during the day the goal is to focus on the important happenings of the day particularly those that have ethical valence perhaps you spoke ill about your friend or maybe you were

helpful to a colleague for each of these types of occurrences write a few lines in your diary and grade your own ethical performance that day ask yourself what did I do well today we're what my ethics tested and where did I do well where did I do badly why did this occur and furthermore how can I improve so now you know how you can self improve going forward if you think you did something that might have compromised your virtue then don't beat yourself up be like Seneca and forgive yourself have some self compassion research shows

that it's forgiving yourself not beating yourself up that stops you from continually putting things off and don't just be critical of yourself think about what you did well so you can repeat it tomorrow and most of all be grateful for the good that happened today if you like this video do make sure to check out our full stoicism playlist and for more videos to help you find success and happiness using ancient philosophical wisdom don't forget to subscribe to us thanks for watching you