Niccolò Machiavelli - 6 Ways To Command Respect Like The Prince (Political Realism)

Niccolò Machiavelli was an influential author,  philosopher, and historian during the Italian Renaissance. Often called the father of modern  political philosophy and political science, he is best known for his work, "The Prince. " This  book serves as a practical guide for new rulers, offering realistic advice on governance.

Machiavelli changed the way people thought about politics by separating it from ethics. Before  him, politics was seen as part of moral behavior but Machiavelli focused on what really works  in politics, not on how things should ideally be. This approach is called political realism and  it emphasizes practical and effective governance.

The lessons in "The Prince" are not just  for political leaders—they can be applied to everyday life as well. And not just in  Machiavelli’s time - It's still important today because it provides deep insights into human  nature and power. Machiavelli believed that people are naturally self-interested and unreliable.

In "The Prince," Machiavelli introduced the ideas of virtù and fortuna. Virtù refers to skill  and cleverness, while fortuna means luck and chance. According to Machiavelli, a successful  ruler needs virtù to navigate the unpredictable nature of fortuna.

This involves having foresight  and being effective, which are crucial for maintaining power in ever-changing situations. Virtù is not about being morally good; it's about being effective and capable. It  includes qualities like courage, wisdom, decisiveness, and adaptability.

A leader with  virtù can shape their destiny and make tough decisions when necessary. This earns them respect  because people trust leaders who are thoughtful and strategic in protecting their interests and  handling challenges, rather than those who are overly generous or desperate for approval. In society, just as there are financial hierarchies, there is also a hierarchy of  respect and reputation.

By understanding and applying Machiavelli's ideas, whether  you're dealing with colleagues, friends, or even family, these strategies can help you  command respect. Let’s see what his teachings are. 1.

It’s Important How Other People Perceive You Machiavelli says "Everyone sees what you appear  to be, few experience what you really are. ” Machiavelli believed that how others  perceive you is far more important than what’s actually true about  you. It might sound surprising, but perception is the most important thing  when it comes to gaining respect from others.

Think about it - have you ever met someone  who may not be the kindest or most honest, but somehow still commands respect? Maybe they  appear wise, fair, or courageous. That’s the power of perception.

It’s not about who you really  are; it’s just about how you’re seen by others. In the real world, perception is everything. Just  think about social media—how many times have you scrolled through pictures of people having the  time of their lives?

We can’t know the full story behind those pictures, but they certainly  look like they’re living an amazing life, right? Well, maybe they are, maybe they aren’t,  but because they’re presenting that image, they often gain more respect than others who  don’t show off their lives in the same way. That is why Machiavelli said that the first  step to gaining respect is to shape the image you present to the world.

Here are a few tips  from Machiavelli on how to manage your image: 1. Project Confidence: Even when you feel unsure, act confident. People trust those who appear  capable, even if they're facing challenges.

2. Show Virtue: Be seen as fair,  honest, and courageous. These are qualities that make people respect you.

3. Control Your Emotions: In tough situations, staying calm makes you look wise and strong.  People admire those who keep their cool.

4. Be Consistent: Make sure your actions  consistently align with the image you want to project. Consistency builds trust.

5. Build Relationships with Respected People: Surrounding yourself with respected individuals  can improve your own image, and finally 6. Show, Don’t Brag: Let your successes speak for  themselves.

It’s about appearing accomplished, not boasting about your achievements By managing how others see you, you can build a strong, respected image of yourself  and the best part is—you’re in control of it. 2. Be decisive In the words of Machiavelli “All courses of action are risky, so prudence  is not in avoiding danger, it’s impossible, but calculating risk and acting decisively. 

Make mistakes of ambition and not mistakes of sloth. Develop the strength to do bold  things, not the strength to suffer. ” Decisiveness is all about making decisions  quickly and confidently.

It’s not just about making choices—it’s about making the right  ones and acting on them. When you’re decisive, you're not just reacting to life around  you; you’re taking control of your future. Think about it: every decision involves some level  of risk.

But a decisive person understands that and still takes action. It’s better to make  mistakes while trying to achieve something big than to make mistakes by not doing anything  at all. Not everyone has this skill naturally.

But according to Machiavelli, it’s  essential for gaining respect and being valued in society. Decisiveness is a  trait that’s highly prized in leadership. We’ve all encountered someone who seems uncertain,  constantly hesitating on decisions.

How does that make you feel? It can be frustrating, right?  Most of us prefer being around people who are confident and decisive.

In fact, studies  show that those who demonstrate strength and decisiveness often rise to the top of social  hierarchies. This isn’t by chance—it’s rooted in our evolution. Historically, those who  made quick, effective decisions had a better chance of survival.

Being decisive saves time and  shows our ability to act swiftly, a vital trait for navigating challenges. On the other hand,  indecisiveness wastes valuable time—a resource we can never get back. This principle applies not  just to humans but to the animal kingdom as well.

When we make decisions confidently, it’s a  clear sign of strength, which is why people naturally respect those who take charge. Acting  decisively tells others that we trust ourselves, and this confidence earns respect which is  why people admire leaders who are certain in their choices and are more likely to  follow someone who embodies that strength. So, how can we apply this in our own lives? 

It’s about practicing decisiveness. At work, for example, you can take the lead when it’s time to  make an important decision. Even if you’re unsure, speak up and share your opinion.

Your team  will respect you for stepping up. And in personal relationships, be clear about your  choices. You don’t have to have all the answers, but being direct and confident will help  you earn respect.

People appreciate when you know what you want and stand by it. If you're someone who struggles with making decisions, that’s okay! Start small. 

Practice making quick, confident choices, and over time, you’ll see how this shapes  the way people see you—more as a leader, someone others naturally respect. So, as you  move forward today, think about how you can apply this. Whether at work or in your personal life,  make those decisions quickly and confidently.

3. Balance between fear and love Machiavelli believed "It is better to be  feared than loved, if you cannot be both. " According to Machiavelli, leaders can  maintain power by balancing fear and love.

It’s a delicate balance, but one that he says  is crucial for gaining and maintaining respect. But before we dig any deeper, it’s  worth remembering that Machiavelli lived over 500 years ago, and this  is Philosophies For Life today, so while there absolutely are great lessons  to be learned, which we will get into shortly, they do require some nuance and reframing to  make them practically applicable in modern life. What Machiavelli argued is that while it's  ideal for a ruler to be both feared and loved, achieving both at the same time is really tough. 

So if a leader must choose, he believes it’s safer to be feared than loved. Why? Because fear is a  more reliable way to keep control.

People might stop loving a leader when things go wrong,  but fear of punishment keeps them loyal. Now, that might sound like Machiavelli  believes in ruling with an iron fist, however, this seems unlikely as Machiavelli also  warns that a leader should avoid being hated. Hate can lead to rebellion and, ultimately, a loss  of power.

So, it's all about finding that balance, the balance between kindness and firmness. Let’s take a modern day workplace example. A good boss shows appreciation for great work. 

They recognize effort and reward success. That’s the “love” part—making employees feel valued  and appreciated. But here is the key point: there are times when the boss also needs  to be firm.

Imagine a boss who’s always praising employees for hitting their targets  and offering support and guidance whenever they need it. That creates a positive  atmosphere and a leader people want to follow. But if an employee keeps missing  deadlines or upsetting their colleagues, that’s when it affects the business. 

And that's when the boss has to step in, set clear, reasonable expectations, and enforce  the rules. It’s about fairness and consistency. By rewarding good behavior while addressing  bad behavior, you make sure people know what to expect from you.

You build trust and respect  because you’re seen as reliable and fair. But if your actions are unpredictable or unjust, it  can lead to resentment and, ultimately, a loss of respect - Something every good leader should fear. The same balance applies in your personal relationships.

To build love, show you  care, be supportive, and spend quality time with those you care about. But also,  to maintain respect, it’s important to set clear boundaries. If a friend keeps borrowing  things without asking and doesn’t return them, you have to speak up.

Address the issue directly,  explain how it bothers you, but do it in a kind, understanding way. It’s all about standing up  for yourself while still being considerate. And that brings us to a powerful point—saying  “no.

” If you’re always saying “yes” to others, people will start to see you as someone who  just goes along with whatever they want. Saying “no” when it counts shows strength and  confidence. It can actually make people respect you more because they know you have your  boundaries.

If you’re always on autopilot, constantly agreeing to things, you risk giving  away your power. But when you stand up for yourself and say “no,” you change how people  see you. You’re confident and assertive in a way people respect, or in Machiavellian terms, fear.

Saying “no” when you truly believe it’s the right choice can make people rethink their approach,  and in turn, they’ll respect you more. Remember, you’re the one in charge of you. You  control whether you give or own that power.

And once you establish that, people will  understand where you stand - And respect it. So, whether you're leading a team at work or  navigating personal relationships, balancing kindness with firmness helps you maintain control  while building positive, strong connections and it’s this balance that gains respect. So, next  time you find yourself in a situation where you need to show leadership or enforce boundaries,  think about how you can strike that balance.

4. Strategically Adapt Yourself To quote Machiavelli "The lion cannot protect himself from traps, and the  fox cannot defend himself from wolves. One must therefore be a fox to recognize  traps, and a lion to frighten wolves.

” Machiavelli believed that a great leader is  someone who is ready to change strategies when needed. Sticking to one approach can lead  to failure, especially when circumstances shift. Think about this—gaining respect isn't just  about creating a strong image in people's minds, it’s about maintaining that image, too. 

And when unexpected situations pop up, how we handle them is crucial. If we show  fear or get thrown off by surprises, it can damage the image we've worked hard to build. It’s all about flexibility.

You have to be willing to adapt to the moment. Machiavelli used  a metaphor to explain this—he talked about the lion and the fox. A ruler, he said, needs to be  strong like a lion to defend against enemies, but also clever like a fox to avoid traps. 

Versatility is the key. Think about a leader who starts off being tough, like a lion, but  then switches gears to diplomacy and alliances, like a fox, when things change. It's about knowing  when to use strength and when to use strategy, and this applies to us in everyday life, too.

If you’re always sticking to the same routine, people might start seeing you as outdated or  disconnected from what's going on around you. The world is constantly changing, and if  we don’t adapt, we risk being left behind. Let’s take a business leader, for example.

In  a fast-moving industry, they might start with a strategy of rapid growth. But if the market  shifts or new competitors emerge, sticking to that plan could be a disaster. Instead, they  might need to innovate, cut costs, or form new partnerships.

This kind of adaptability helps  the business survive and shows others that the leader can handle uncertainty. It’s all about  handling change with confidence. When you adapt, you not only protect your reputation, but you  also gain respect from those around you—whether it's employees, investors, or anyone else. 

People respect leaders who can navigate through challenges and adjust when needed. So, if you're facing unexpected challenges in your life, don’t resist them. Embrace them!

Remember,  the only constant in life is change. By adapting your strategies to fit the new situation, you’ll  not only keep your image intact but also ensure that others continue to respect you as someone  who can handle anything that comes your way. 5.

Show Generosity in a Measured Way Machiavelli once wrote “It is wiser to have a reputation for meanness  which brings reproach without hatred, than to be compelled through  seeking a reputation for liberality to incur a name for rapacity which  begets reproach with hatred. ” Now, this may sound confusing at first, but  if we translate this into modern English, all Machivelli is saying is “It’s  better to be known for being mean, which brings criticism without hatred, than  to be compelled through seeking a reputation for openness to suffer a name for greed  which brings about criticism with hatred. ” Surely everyone watching this video can  think of someone you know who struggles with being selective when showing generosity. 

How much respect do they command in your circle? They might be loved for many reasons, but in  terms of respect, it often falls short. Now, why is that?

The answer lies in how generosity is  linked to respect. When you're overly generous, it can reflect poorly on your values and  your ability to be discerning. It suggests that you're willing to reward anyone, which can  lower the respect others have for you.

People might think they can get by with doing the bare  minimum and still receive rewards. Machiavelli also warns that excessive generosity, even if  well-intentioned, can lead to being exploited or running out of resources. Instead, he advises  being strategic—knowing when and how much to give.

This showing generosity in a measured way can  actually increase admiration and loyalty. Let’s put this into perspective. Imagine a manager who  rewards employees thoughtfully.

Instead of handing out praise or bonuses to everyone, they recognize  those who have shown exceptional dedication. This not only motivates the team but also earns the  manager respect for their fair leadership. When your generosity is measured, it shows you act  with intention and control, rather than trying to win favor through grand gestures.

People  respect leaders who are thoughtful in their actions because it signals maturity and strength.  Excessive generosity, on the other hand, can make you seem desperate for approval, potentially  reducing the respect others have for you. And there's more to it.

Practicing measured  generosity helps people appreciate what they receive rather than expecting it constantly,  which can lead to entitlement. So, next time you feel the urge to be generous, ask yourself  a few key questions. Who truly deserves it?

Who has shown genuine loyalty? Identify those who  are most deserving and show your appreciation through thoughtful comments, affirmations  of their hard work, or symbolic gifts. Also, consider who you care about the most.

Focus on  rewarding these individuals. By asking these questions, you can practice generosity in a  measured way, just as Machiavelli suggests. This technique will help you choose wisely  and maintain the respect of those around you.

6. Have Reliance on your own arms In our final quote from Machiavelli  for this video, he says “He who is the cause of another becoming powerful  is the cause of his own destruction; for he loses his dominion by showing  that he is dependent on the other. ” Machiavelli talks about how important it is  for a ruler to rely on their own strength, or "arms," instead of using hired soldiers or forces  borrowed from other rulers.

He says that when a leader has their own trained, loyal army, they  are much stronger and more secure. Mercenaries, on the other hand, aren’t as dependable because  they fight for money, not loyalty. They might not care about the leader’s cause and could  even turn against them if the price is right, while native soldiers, who are invested in  the leader’s success, are much more reliable.

Thus having a loyal, native force gives a ruler  a more stable and lasting power and relying on your own forces shows strength and independence,  which earns respect from both friends and enemies. In today's world, we can apply Machiavelli’s  idea of "relying on one’s own arms" by being self-reliant and capable, and by building the  right support system around us. Instead of depending on others to solve our problems, we  can develop our own skills.

This might involve improving your education, learning  new things, or becoming an expert in your job or passion. By doing this, you make  yourself less dependent on others. Similarly, just as a leader surrounds themselves with  loyal soldiers, we can build a strong support system of friends, family, or co-workers who  are dependable and supportive of our goals.

Another way to achieve this is through financial  independence. By managing your money well, saving, and investing wisely, you don’t have to  rely on loans or handouts. This gives you more freedom to make decisions on your  own terms.

Taking responsibility for your actions is also a key part of self-reliance.  Instead of blaming others when things go wrong, you own up to your mistakes and learn from  them. It’s about controlling your own fate, rather than relying on external factors to fix  things for you.

Just as having a loyal native force gives a ruler long-term stability, being  self-reliant builds long-term respect. People are more likely to respect someone who consistently  shows they are capable and dependable over time, rather than someone who occasionally shows  competence but often relies on others. If you enjoyed this video, please make  sure to check out our full philosophies for life playlist and for more videos to  help you find success and happiness using beautiful philosophical wisdom, don’t forget  to subscribe.

Thanks so much for watching.