There's something I want you to hear. And I mean really here maybe for the first time in your life. You are not lazy.
You are not broken. And you are not falling behind. You are carrying pain that was never yours to carry in the first place.
You were taught to survive, not to thrive. You were taught to endure, not to feel safe. So when the world asks you to show up, to be consistent, to be driven, to be bold, there's a part of you that resists.
Not because you don't want it, but because something inside of you still doesn't feel safe enough to be fully alive. Carl Jung once said, "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate. " And for many of us, the unconscious is holding on to the version of us that got wounded first.
The version that never got to fully grow up. We call it the inner child. Let's go back before the layers, before the coping mechanisms, before the fear.
Let's go back to when you were just a child. You didn't know how to hide yet. You didn't know how to shrink yourself to keep the peace.
You didn't yet understand how the world expected you to perform, to earn, to be perfect. You were just you, curious, open, soft, honest. You asked for what you needed.
You cried when it hurt. You reached for love without shame. That version of you, that pure, unfiltered version of you, didn't disappear.
They're still inside you waiting. This is what we mean when we talk about the inner child. The inner child is not just a memory or a concept.
It's a living, breathing part of your psyche. It holds your first experiences of joy, connection, and love. But it also holds the first experiences of fear, abandonment, and shame.
Carl Jung spoke about the archetype of the child not just as a symbol of innocence but as the beginning of all psychological life. He said the child is potential future. It represents not just who we were, but who we still have the potential to become if we're willing to revisit and reclaim the parts of ourselves we've left behind.
When you were young, your nervous system was still developing. You absorbed everything. Not just what people said to you, but how they looked at you.
Whether they smiled when you entered the room. Whether your tears were met with warmth or with punishment, whether love felt safe or conditional. and the way your emotional needs were or weren't met that became the blueprint for your adult self.
So when people say just move on or that was years ago, they don't understand that your body remembers what your mind tries to forget. That's the thing about the inner child. It doesn't operate on time the way we do.
If your needs were ignored at age five, there's still a part of you frozen at age five, waiting for someone to see them, to validate them, to protect them. And when life gets hard now, when someone rejects you or criticizes you or leaves you behind, sometimes it's not your adult self that gets triggered. It's the child who once felt invisible.
You ever notice how certain situations feel disproportionately painful? Like someone forgets to text back and suddenly you spiral or someone raises their voice and you shut down completely or you get feedback on something you worked hard on and you crumble inside. Not because it wasn't good enough, but because some part of you feels like you're not good enough.
That's your inner child reacting. And here's the hardest part. Most of us have built our entire personalities around protecting that wounded child.
If you became the high achiever, maybe it was because you learned that love had to be earned. If you became the peacemaker, maybe it was because conflict once felt dangerous. If you became the loner, maybe it was because connection once meant pain.
None of that happened because you were weak. It happened because you were smart. You found ways to survive.
But now you're not that child anymore. You have a different kind of power. And part of that power lies in turning around gently and bravely to face the part of you that still lives in the past.
Yung said, "Who looks outside dreams. Who looks inside awakens. " To awaken is to realize that the fears you carry are not flaws.
They are echoes. To awaken is to realize that the shame you feel isn't yours. It was handed to you by someone else.
Someone who couldn't see your worth because they hadn't made peace with their own. To awaken is to start walking back to the child inside. Not to scold them, not to fix them, but to hold them.
Because healing doesn't happen when you shame your past. It happens when you bring love into it. And maybe for the first time you begin to say to yourself, "I see you.
I hear you. And I'm not going to leave you behind anymore. " That's where real healing begins.
Not in fighting your triggers, but in understanding where they come from. The child in you is not a weakness. They are the foundation of your truth.
And once you reconnect with them, once you make room for their voice, their grief, their longing, you don't just heal your past. You free your future. Let's talk about the wound.
Not the kind that leaves a visible scar, but the kind that quietly reshapes everything about you without you even realizing it. The kind of wound that makes you secondguess yourself every time you speak. The kind of wound that keeps you up at night, rehearsing conversations, trying to figure out what you did wrong.
The kind of wound that whispers, "You're too much or you're not enough," depending on the day. This is the wound of the inner child. Carl Young once said, "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.
" And that's exactly what the wound of the inner child does. It hides. It shapes.
It controls. And we mistake it for personality. So many of us are walking through life calling our trauma normal.
We say, "I just don't trust people. " When what we mean is I was hurt by someone I depended on, we say, "I'm just really independent. " When what we mean is, "I learned not to need anyone because every time I did, I was let down.
" We say, "I hate conflict. " When what we mean is, "The last time I spoke up, I was punished or ignored. " These wounds didn't just come out of nowhere.
They came from moments, small and large, where your emotional reality was denied, where your boundaries were crossed. where your feelings were met with silence, sarcasm, or shame. It doesn't have to be something extreme to leave a mark.
Trauma is not just what happened to you. It's also what didn't happen. Maybe no one ever hit you, but maybe no one ever held you when you cried.
Maybe no one ever yelled, but maybe no one ever truly listened either. Maybe your parents were present physically, but emotionally they were miles away. And so your inner child started to make meaning out of that emptiness.
You might have decided that love isn't safe, that your feelings are a burden, that you must perform to be accepted, that being vulnerable leads to pain. And once those beliefs take root, they quietly begin running the show. You become the adult who overapologizes.
The adult who sabotages good things because they don't feel deserved. The adult who settles for less than they need because asking for more feels unsafe. the adult who's always fine on the outside but falling apart inside.
And you don't even know where it started. You just know that you're tired, that you want peace, that something feels off and has for a long, long time. But here's the truth.
These patterns didn't begin with you. You were taught them sometimes by people who didn't know any better because they had wounded inner children, too. Carl Jung believed that healing wasn't about blaming the past.
It was about becoming conscious of its influence. He wrote, "Neurosis is always a substitute for legitimate suffering. " In other words, the pain we carry turns into symptoms.
Overthinking, anxiety, perfectionism, emotional numbness. But beneath those symptoms is the real grief we've been avoiding. The grief of not being seen.
The grief of not being protected. The grief of having to grow up too fast. And that grief deserves a voice.
Because the wounded inner child doesn't just want you to move on. They want to be acknowledged. They want someone you to finally say that shouldn't have happened to you.
You didn't deserve that. And you didn't make it up. You are not lazy.
You are not broken. You are not overly sensitive. You are responding to wounds that were never healed.
You are surviving with nervous system patterns that were shaped in childhood. You've been coping in the best way you knew how. And now, now you're ready to do more than just cope.
You're ready to heal. Healing the inner child means you stop blaming yourself for the needs that went unmet. It means you stop confusing emotional neglect for personal failure.
It means you learn how to give yourself now what you didn't receive then. validation, compassion, safety, truth, and slowly you begin to feel again not just the pain but the joy underneath it, the hope, the softness, the creativity, the courage. You begin to realize that the wound is not the end of the story.
It's the beginning of a new one. One that you get to write, not as a child surviving, but as an adult who finally knows their worth. That's the invitation of the inner child, not to live in the past, but to reclaim your future with tenderness.
And you don't have to do it perfectly. You just have to be willing to go back and listen to the part of you that's still waiting to be heard. That's when the healing begins.
You might think you've buried it, that whatever happened back then is behind you, that you're over it. But the truth is, the inner child never stops speaking. The question is, are you listening?
Carl Young once said, there is no coming to consciousness without pain. And for many of us, that pain shows up in quiet, almost invisible ways. Subtle everyday moments that feel too small to matter, but somehow leave us completely undone.
Sometimes the inner child doesn't scream. Sometimes they whisper. They show up in your fear of abandonment even in secure relationships.
They show up in the way you chase validation from people, from accomplishments, from anywhere but within. They show up in your anxiety that something will go wrong the moment you let your guard down. That happiness isn't safe.
that peace can't be trusted. They show up in the way you get defensive over things that seem minor because underneath it all, you still feel like you're being judged, criticized, or misunderstood. Just like before, you tell yourself you're overthinking, that you're being dramatic, but you're not.
You're remembering on a level deeper than words. The inner child cries for help when you constantly put other people's needs before your own. Not because you're selfless, but because deep down you believe your needs don't matter.
The inner child cries for help when you avoid conflict at all costs. Not because you're peaceful, but because your body equates disagreement with danger. The inner child cries for help when you find yourself over apologizing, secondguessing, shrinking into silence because some part of you learned that being invisible was the safest option.
You don't have to remember every detail to know something's wrong. The body remembers what the mind forgets. You may not have had the language to name it back then, but now you do.
emotional neglect, inconsistent love, conditional affection, being made to feel like too much or not enough, or both. You may think you've just always been like this, that this is just who you are. But the truth is much of your adult self was shaped by a child who had to adapt in order to feel safe.
You might be the one everyone leans on. The one who keeps it together. The one who always seems so strong.
But when you're alone, it's different. There's a heaviness you can't explain, an ache, a longing for something you can't quite name. That's your inner child.
Still waiting for the safety they never had. Still hoping someone, you will notice the tears behind the mask. Carl Jung once said, "The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.
" And that includes the parts of you that were silenced, shamed, or forgotten. The part of you that still flinches at raised voices. The part of you that still craves affection but pushes it away.
the part of you that still doesn't know how to rest without guilt. These aren't flaws. They're signals.
They're your inner child's way of saying, "I'm still here. I'm still hurting. Please don't ignore me anymore.
" And if you've ever wondered why no amount of external success feels like enough, if you've ever felt like you're doing everything right, but still feel empty. If you've ever thought, "Why can't I just be happy even when everything looks fine on the outside? " It might be because the part of you that needed the most love, the part that was scared, lonely, or confused, never got what it needed.
Not really. And no amount of adult achievement can make up for a childhood that lacked emotional safety. But there is good news in all of this because if the inner child is crying for help, it means they're still alive inside you.
And that means they can still be reached. They can still be healed. You can become the person they needed.
You can offer them the love, protection, and validation they never received. You can change the story. You don't have to keep performing.
You don't have to keep proving yourself. You don't have to keep carrying the weight of a childhood you didn't choose. You get to say, "I hear you.
I believe you. I'm here now. " And that changes everything because the moment you begin to acknowledge the cries of your inner child is the moment you begin to come home to yourself.
There comes a point in your healing where you stop searching for the love you didn't get and start learning how to give it to yourself. This is the heart of reparing. Carl Young believed that we carry within us every age we've ever been.
that the child you once were doesn't just disappear when you grow up. That child still lives in you, still remembers, still reacts, still longs to feel safe. But now you're the adult.
And that means you can become the one who finally shows up. Not the one who neglects or shames or abandons, but the one who stays. The one who says, "I won't abandon you like they did.
I won't silence you like they did. I won't rush you, blame you, or make you earn your worth. I see you.
I hear you. And I choose you. Reparenting is not about pretending the past didn't happen.
It's about becoming conscious of how it shaped you and choosing a different path forward. It starts small. It starts with how you talk to yourself.
When you make a mistake, do you criticize yourself or do you gently guide yourself? When you're overwhelmed, do you push through until you collapse or do you give yourself permission to rest? When you're hurting, do you minimize it?
Or do you say, "Of course, this hurts. Anyone would feel this way. " Most of us speak to ourselves in the voice of the ones who wounded us.
That inner critic, that voice that says, "You're lazy, dramatic, not good enough. " It's often an echo of someone else's words, someone who made you feel like love was conditional or safety had to be earned. But reparenting gives you a new voice, a voice of compassion, patience, encouragement.
A voice that tells you the truth, not the lie you were taught. The truth that your worth is not up for debate. The truth that you are allowed to have needs.
The truth that you are not too broken to be whole again. Carl Jung once wrote, "What did you do as a child that made the hours pass like minutes? Therein lies the key to your earthly pursuits.
" That question, what did you love as a child? What brought you joy before the world told you who to be? It's not just nostalgic.
It's sacred because healing your inner child isn't just about fixing pain. It's about reclaiming joy. It's about finding your playfulness again, your creativity, your sense of wonder.
Maybe it's through art or nature or music or movement. Maybe it's allowing yourself to be silly again, to laugh from your gut, to dance without thinking, to rest without guilt. Maybe it's learning how to set boundaries, not as punishment, but as protection.
Maybe it's creating routines that soothe you, like a warm cup of tea before bed or journaling your feelings in the morning. These small, seemingly ordinary choices are how you reparant yourself. They are how you build safety where there once was fear.
They are how you say to your inner child, you're not alone anymore. I've got you now. And yes, there will be setbacks.
Yes, some days will feel heavy. There will be moments when the old voices come back. when you forget how far you've come.
But the beauty of reparing is this. Every time you choose gentleness over judgment, every time you slow down and listen instead of pushing through, you're healing something that was never nurtured before. You're becoming the kind of parent you needed, not just for the child you once were, but for the adult you are now.
And that's how transformation happens. Not through perfection, but through presence, not by erasing the past, but by writing a new ending. You can't go back and change what happened.
But you can choose to stop repeating it. You can stop abandoning yourself when life gets hard. You can stop silencing yourself just to keep the peace.
You can stop chasing people who don't see your value and start showing up for the one who needs you most. You. This is your healing.
This is your return. And the child within you, the one who once felt forgotten is finally coming home. The beautiful paradox is this.
When you face your pain, you also discover your power. Your inner child holds your sensitivity, but also your intuition. It holds your wounds, but also your creativity.
It holds your fear, but also your joy. You don't need to be perfect to be powerful. You don't need to have all the answers to begin healing.
You just need to be willing to turn inward, to listen, to hold your own hand. Young once wrote, "In each of us, there is another whom we do not know. He speaks to us in dreams and tells us how differently he sees us from how we see ourselves.
That voice, that deeper self is waiting. It sees your worth, it sees your strength. It sees the child inside you not as a weakness but as the source of your deepest truth.
The more you accept them, the more whole you become. The more whole you become, the less life feels like a battle and the more it feels like a journey back to who you were always meant to be. You are not lazy.
You are healing from a life that told you to keep going no matter how broken you felt. But you don't have to prove your worth anymore. You don't have to chase dump or approval or perfection.
You just have to come home back to yourself. back to the child within. Back to the quiet wisdom you've carried all along.
And maybe now, for the first time, you're ready to listen. Welcome home. I hope this video was helpful.
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Thanks for watching.