Elon Musk Crashes Cabinet Meeting & Trump Touts $5M "Gold Card" for VIP Immigrants | The Daily Show

today was a big day for Donald Trump he had a meeting with every member of his cabinet and he even invited the president by the way thanks for dressing up Elon don't let us keep you from a blackjack tournament in 2006 but yes Elon did have a seat at the table well not an actual seat he was more looming over it like an Ed Hardy Sith Lord and some reporters wondered if that created tension with the actual cabinet members given that he keeps trying to fire all of their staff president Trump put out a Tru

social today saying that everybody in the cabinet was was happy with you I just wondered if that if you had heard uh otherwise and if you had heard anything about members of the cabinet who weren't happy with the way things were going let the cabinet speak just for a second anybody unhappy with if you are well throw them out of here is anybody unhappy it's nice to know that someone gets a vote on whether Elon Musk should be running the country it would have been awkward if someone started to raise their hand before everyone else

started clapping me oh no I wasn't raising my hand I was um just about to do a Nazi salute pH good save so everyone is proud of the job that Elon is doing and Elon agrees and I I should say we also we will make mistakes we won't be perfect but when we uh make mistake we'll fix it very quickly uh so for example with uh USA uh one of the things we accidentally canceled very briefly was Ebola Ebola prevention I think we all want Ebola prevention so we restored the Ebola prevention immediately I'm sorry

you accidentally very briefly canceled what I hate to be giving efficiency notes to the efficiency Master but perhaps next time we keep Ebola prevention going the whole time I mean is Elon really asking for a for credit for only canceling Ebola prevention a little bit it's like he dropped a baby and went what look how fast I picked it up 5sec roll I think we should be a little more careful especially when we're already dealing with the measles outbreak but don't worry Elon is not in charge of that RFK Jr is there's 124 people uh

who have contracted measles at this point mainly were told in the men andite Community um there are two people who have died um but uh he watching it so it's not unusual we have measel outbreaks every year quick question when you say we have measles outbreaks every year are you talking about America or like you right now it sounds like you might take out that whole room and that would be terrible I want to say but yes RFK is overseeing the measles outbreak and he has promised promised that he will personally if the hospital allows

it consume all of the corpses of those infected so he's really seeing to it and this cabinet meeting was kind of a waste of time okay but Trump has been getting some stuff done for example yesterday he signed an executive order that forces hospitals to be transparent with their prices and look that seems like a good idea and I am perfectly capable of admitting it when Donald Trump did something good [Applause] When Donald Trump did something good when Donald Trump did something good I can't say it I can't say it why is this so hard

oh thank God those don't come along very often of course because it's Donald Trump most people will never hear about this price transparency thing because at the same meeting he seemed more interested in doing stuff like this do you have one of those Trump was right about everything had give me this here give me all of them look see that Trump was right about everything it just came in somebody said I said this was sent in by a fan I said I think we should make some of them right but we were pretty much you

want one okay first of all that is way too much text guys if your hat needs a bookmark it's not a good hat and look I hate to tble with the hat but Trump wasn't right about everything okay there were a couple of small things um I don't know uh Haitian immigrants weren't eating cats and dogs there wasn't $50 million worth of condom sent to Gaza Belgium is not a city uh the 2020 election wasn't stolen China doesn't China doesn't operate the Panama Canal nor does it [Music] and uh the best taco bowls are not

made at the Trump Tower Grill but yes other than that Trump was right about everything now I'm not trying to be a hater but if you're going to own a hat with a ridiculous lie on it at least make it a fun ridiculous lie which is why I'm selling these Garfield did 911 get yours today before he finishes the job but obviously Trump didn't bring everybody into the Oval Office just to sell hats he was there to sell something much more fancy we're going to be selling uh a gold card you have a green card

this is a gold card card we're going to be putting a price on that card of about $5 million and that's going to give you Green Card privileges plus oh oh Green Card privileges plus see I was still getting America with ads quick question quick question if I'm unhappy with America can I cancel my subscription after 7even days I am curious what does this gold card do it's going to be a route to citizenship and wealthy people will be coming into our country by buying this card they'll be wealthy and they'll be successful and they'll

be spending a lot of money did this guy just put a cover charge on America it's $5 million to get in but he'll wave it if you bring in three hot girls with you I mean I guess it beats the old way of becoming a citizen which was to marry Donald Trump but still feel like immigrant stories are going to be a lot less inspiring in the future my grandfather came to this country with nothing but $5 million and the clothes in his custom Louis Vuitton five-piece trunk set although I have to admit I don't

totally hate the idea of buying your way into a country hey k Canada how you doing girl I'm just going to come out and say it I want to be in you and listen I don't have $5 million but I do have $4 and a cough drop and this orange hat let's talk about it now you might be thinking wait a second if the US is just going to put citizenship up for sale doesn't that mean that any monster can buy one as long as they're rich well according to Trump mhm would a Russian oligarch

be eligible for a gold card yeah possibly hey I know some Russian oligarchs that are very nice people it's possible seems like Trump watched Anora and his takeaway from that movie was we need to do do more to help out that rich Russian teenager he's so good at sex but if you're letting Russians come into the country you got to be careful okay I don't want to engage in stereotypes but if you let a Russian in then there's going to be a smaller Russian inside of him and then an even smaller Russian inside of him

and on and on and on there's always another careful bottom line I'm not sure I like the idea of a special card that gives rich people unique access to America but if we were going in that direction we have an idea for how to Market it for centuries the world's poor and hungry have flocked to America's Shores and now you can jump that line introducing the Trump Gold Card $5 million you get citizenship plus exclusive access to Wyoming yeeh you get to vote twice and best of all the Delta Sky Lounge PE hours only and

for 10 million more you get the Trump Platinum Card better than gold you get two laws a year a free continental breakfast cottage cheese 3 months of Apple TV plus and a gun bangang want more the Trump black card that Platinum Card you get your face on Mount Rushmore Suck It Lincoln your own star on the flag and even better the Delta Sky Lounge he go his own had enough you because here's the Trump Diamond Card good VIP swim hours in the golf of America a dozen eggs box seats at the Kennedy Center next to

La B happy ending the Diamond Card lets you Deport anyone with a gold card should have paid more and it works at Dave and Busters unlimited SK and don't forget the Delta Sky Lounge still off peak they wouldn't much the Trump immigration card ain't in China [Music] wa