America Thirsts After Suspected Healthcare Killer, Donald Trump Jr's New Lady & Clip of the Year

thanks for watching thank you for joining us from Hollywood where we are um busy we're wrapping up the year right now this is uh we reviewing all the year-end lists the best TV shows of the year the best music of the Year time has unveiled their short list of nominees for person of the year the list includes Joe Rogan kamla Harris Donald Trump Mark Zuckerberg Benjamin Netanyahu uh Kate Middleton and Elon Musk is Elon Musk a person because I've seen no evidence of that it's can you imagine if Elon Musk gets person over of the

year over Donald Trump that'll be end of that relationship that romance will blow up like a SpaceX rocket it's we definitely know who wins time sexiest alleged murderer of the year that would go to Luigi mangion the suspect in the shooting of the CEO of United Healthcare who's become the hottest coldblooded killer in America I'm not sure what this says about us but ever since these photos of him came out from his holding cell from his mug shot someone found his abs somewhere online Ryan Murphy right now is flying in Netflix headquarters in a jetpack

so many women and so many men are going nuts over how goodlooking this killer is and there's a huge wave of horny washing over us right now it's like when one of the guys you work with says he I had a dream about you last night when it's the FedEx guy with with the big muscles and the rolled up sleeves you're like oh but if it's the bald it guy wearing uh Crocs with black socks you're on the phone with HR it's kind of that same Dynamic our staff today I have never experienced anything like

this these are screen grabs of actual exchanges between our members of our staff and their friends relatives whatever I've changed the names to protect the guilty but um uh let's see Lorraine C asks do you guys think the United Healthcare CEO killer is hot friend replies yes I love Luigi I think he's gay though this is an exchange between two of our producers we'll call them Alaba and Glenda my Tik Tock is flooded my mom chains going nuts that's my Tik Tok everyone is obsessed people are saying a New York Jury has the power to

find him innocent because we all love him I'm not mad at him this one's from Susie D this she got hurt this text from her mother am I the only person wondering that if the gunman had tweezed and reshaped his eyebrows he would have never been caught haha good point his eyebrows are very defined next please tell me you're as obsessed as I am with this handsome CEO killer yes so many questions like can I fix you and uh Veronica says I need him so bad no like so bad so so bad okay so I

would visit him in prison and bake him cookies Maybe perhaps more but I haven't thought that far ahead and it's not just women this is from the husband of one of our staffers did you see the Assassin yes I'm so upset like excuse me LOL I'm about to be a jailhouse bride cuz damn shorty is so fine I'm dead or willing to be and one more from a young woman in our segment Department uh texting all my friends in New York that I hope they get called to jury duty God I want to do jury

duty so bad well at least it's stirring up a passion for civic duty I guess what is going on there are dozens of products for sale on Etsy with his face on them there are lookalike contests there's Luigi mangion crypto people are making fan cams do you know what these are these again I learned about this day these are tribute montages like this I'm taking it cu the like you a lot so I'll give it a shot give it all that I [Music] got suddenly you call my name it's bananas it's the hello Kitt is

involved now but I have to say it does feel kind of good we we're moving away from non-stop election coverage and uh back to drooling over a coldblooded murderer's eyebrows and abs I think that might be progress maybe not I don't know I think it's cuz sometimes when people identify with why a crime was committed we lose sight of the reality of that crime like this incident this is something that happened at an auto dealership in Sandy City Utah this was not an accident we see the man Ram a gray Subaru right through the glass

into the lobby and smash into the front desk Sandy City police tell us the man bought the car from timd Mazda in Sandy this morning he got home had some technical or mechanical issues and wanted to return the vehicle the vehicle was sold as is and the dealership would not take it back the driver said if it didn't get his money back he'd drive through the front door and it looks like he followed through on that promise yeah well I think we just found Trump's new Secretary of Transportation but I mean here's a thing this

guy at least according to the story in that video also allegedly committed a crime we can relate to this car he didn't like he wanted to bring it back they said so why aren't we making fan cams of him I'm taking it chance cuz I like you lot so give it a give it all that I [Music] got is it possible that we have two standards of Justice here one for the attractive and another for the I guess we'll see how many texts go back and forth about the Subaru hottie tomorrow we'll see if damn

shorty is fine speaking of car Rex Donald Trump Jr appears to have a new lady in his life DJ TJ has been engaged to Kimberly gilfoil since 2020 but he's been spotted numerous times including last night with another woman with a Palm Beach socialite named batina Anderson there is our Prince uh opening the door to the car for her what is a date with Don junor even like do you both sip from straws out of the same Monster Energy drink the first boy has not made an announcement about the status of his relationship with former

Fox Newser Kimberly guilfoil but something sure seems to be up because this afternoon less than 24 hours after those photos were published daddy Donald posted today I am very pleased to announce the appointment of Kimberly gilfoil as the United States ambassador to Greece he he made her ambassador to one of the farthest countries possible what a family this is he has more relatives working at the White House than I do at this show right now and then we've got his daughter-in-law Lara Trump bride of Eric Trump is reported to be lobbying Governor DeSantis of Florida

to appoint Lara to the Senate when Marco Rubio leaves his spot to be Secretary of State and maybe this I with Lara maybe it's Trump's way of telling her to please stop singing I don't know but remember when Republicans couldn't shut up about KLA Harris and her qualifications she doesn't have the experience he only picked her because she's a black woman is she even a black woman well may I introduce Senator laara Trump ladies and gentlemen graduated with a ba in Communications at NC State studied at the French Culinary Institute and worked as a personal

trainer get that lady in the government right away I mean if Lara becomes a senator who's going to walk Eric I mean how will this work one thing we know for sure is that seat is not going to Matt Gates disgraced former congressman and rejected nominee for attorney general Matt Gates has a new job starting in January he will host a show on oan one americ news for those who aren't familiar with oan it's like Fox News but crazier and younger which is just the way Matt Gates likes it that's right you know Fox News

compared to O you know how some guys get tired of regular porn start looking at tentacles and stuff that's how o compares to Fox News the gate show doesn't premere until next month they already put a poster on their website um look at him the reservoir horn dog ready to go quick message to all the female interns at oan hide as I you know I said before this is that special time when all the end ofe accolades are handed out every December we at our show scour our archives to find the the most entertaining uh

incredible amazing fascinating clips that have aired on our show over the past 12 months the cream of the crop the best of the best and while each one of these is excellent in its own right only one of them will be crowned clip of the year and the nominees are offensive line This is Far and Away the best defense that Patrick Mahomes has had right I mean is it possible that they could ride the D I I the defense okay it takes a Village People no one has ever explained why Donald Trump's most consistent favorite

song ever played at his political rallies is the gayest song that any presidential candidate has ever decided to lose himself in Britain's Got Talent here's a question for you something that many when wish for but for Matt bar being well endowed has affected his entire life Matt has Britain's biggest penis measuring over 12 Ines when erect which is more than double the average size far from being a gift though Matt's large penis comes with some equally large challenges and he joins us now to discuss some those morning to you Matt good morning all yellow [Music]

Jersey Boys rookies Anthony black and Grady dick one from Arkansas the other from Kansas exchanging jerseys and Vanna what tarus right in the [Music] butt no Blake this is the best yeah that's that's it I think and the clip of the year for 2024 is very exciting GMA Britain's Got Talent that's right and now to accept the award coming to us all the way from London he's even bigger than Ben say hello to the bearer of the largest measured penis in the whole world Matt bar hello Matt Matt for being with us I'm glad we

could not bring you out here in person ABC will only allow us to show you from the waist up but um how has your life changed Matt since sharing this celebration of your your private parts with the world I've had a lot more strange messages online I'll say that that's it huh well I'm not uh you know Luigi manone level looking so I can get by today without has King Charles reached out to offer you a nigh Hood um he's he's kind of busy at the moment but hopefully it's going to come in the mail

how could you ever be too busy for that you now have the world's largest measured penis take us through what goes into determining that it's mostly going to urologists and dropping your trousers and getting measured because obviously a lot of men say things that they can't back up and then the urologist signs an affidavit and that affidavit is then shared with the world well I have to car out obviously there are many billions of men out there there could be someone bigger this is just of anyone who's who's done it so far that we know

of you legal reasons have to clarify that could be a Mongolian goat farmer somewhere who beat me but you don't on a date is this something like you'd worn a lady about an advance or do you just spring it on them well um I don't know what to say uh in terms of uh preparation you know there's often some warning signs beforehand okay if they aren't aware of that then you kind of do have to drop some hints yes sure certainly do you ever dress it up for the holidays like like people do with Thanksgiving

ham yeah a little sweater vest or something like that um they don't review my size unfortunately in the what are what are the disadvantages of having a huge penis like can you wear shorts can you are there things you can't do you can't really go scuba diving oh making a scene scuba diving is something they recommend against why I mean wet suits uh and genitalia don't mix oh you say that like we should know it it's it's it's basic biology Matt do you ever go you ever go like to the gym you go in the

walk in the shower and you yell at a genie made my wish come true that is a good lie stealing it I I'll happily take that for those who would like to see Matt's uh genitals Matt a cast of your penis is now on display in a museum in Iceland correct yes it's the Iceland pH phological Museum the world's only real like verified penis museum do you ever go there and stand next to it and like kind of go hey M quite a long journey just without why just do it in the showers well Matt

you know we actually we have a trophy for you um but I feel like you already have one of these kind of for if you like I can send it to you sure the mindful piece it's a bit more sigal for guests anyway is there anyone you'd like to thank besides God Matt um I'd like to thank everyone here who's who's put up with this uh this conversation okay we appreciate it Merry Christmas happy holidays we had a good children night Monica Barbaro is here we have music from Keith Urban tonight and we'll be back

with Jeremy Strong so stick around [Applause]