Things You Naturally Do That Make Men CHASE YOU | Dating Advice for Women by Mat Boggs

- What if the things that you thought made men chase you were actually the things that made the wrong kind of guys chase you, but there were things that you naturally did, natural attributes that you have, that actually make the right guy drawn to you, compelled to be with you? That's what we're gonna unpack today. In fact, I'm gonna give you five principles.

These aren't tricks. These are timeless tools that you can use that draw out the natural qualities in you that ignite attraction with the right guy, and we're gonna do this in a fun way where I've built these five principles around the acronym for CHASE. Check it out.

So we're breaking these different principles down with a C-H-A-S-E format. What is it that causes the right kind of guy, the high-quality man, to chase you, to be drawn to you? And not surface-level tricks or tactics, but these are like authentic, deep qualities that you already have or you're able to cultivate that feel really authentic to you.

So let's unpack the C. The C stands for cultivate an open heart. Cultivate an open heart.

Why do we say cultivate? Because if you're at this stage in your love life and you're dating and you're attracting new people, chances are you've had pain in the past, chances are you've had hurt in the past, you may have had betrayal in the past. We've all gone through some really horrible stuff.

There's a natural effect that happens when we're guarding ourselves, right? We put up this wall to protect ourselves from getting hurt. And that is the only men that come into our orbit are people that we're not attracted to.

So you're finding all these guys online who aren't guys you would date. They're not quality guys. Like you see all their attributes and whatnot, and you're like, "Oh my gosh, I would never date any of those guys.

" The guys you meet in real life, you would never date those guys. What is that? Well, that is a vibration that you're putting out that's only making welcome guys who you wouldn't date.

Why? To keep you safe. Because if you wouldn't date them, you don't have to open your heart to take a risk to possibly getting hurt again.

And there's one more fascinating dynamic with this when we're closed, and that is the only people that our system will allow us to feel attraction for are those who aren't reciprocating that attraction back, or who are emotionally unavailable and eventually won't actually allow us in to their lives either. And so it's this brilliant mechanism really when you think about it on how to keep us safe. So the way to actually cultivate where people are pursuing you, and it's not the wrong people, it's actually the right people, is to begin with having an open heart.

Cultivate that open heart, which means to do the work of releasing the past, to do the work of healing that heartache, to create that space of resilience in you that you know that you can move forward and you can create a different outcome, and if there is heartache along the way, that you will be okay. That place of freedom and openness is incredibly attractive. Now, that's just one subconscious block that keeps love away.

If you're curious about maybe how to overcome that block or if you have other love blocks that you feel like are repelling the relationship you want, I've done an entire course on this called Break Free. I'll put a link in the description below so you can check out that course and really discover and learn how to release any love block that might be in your way. Now, the H stands for harness your happiness.

And I love this verb harness, right? Because in any given moment, we have the opportunity to look at what's going well, what's positive, what's working, and equally, we have the opportunity to focus on what isn't going well, what's broken, what's missing, what's negative. We are one thought away from being an empowered mindset to a victim mindset, being an abundant mindset to a scarce mindset.

Literally one thought away. So many of us, we feel like, oh, we're cultivating this positive, empowered mindset, but any one of us can slip into this negative mindset in a given moment. And so harnessing your happiness means really being consciously aware of saying, what am I gonna be grateful for this day?

And looking at what you have versus what's missing. What opportunities are there for me this day? Because we're constantly living in a field of infinite opportunities.

The majority of the world lives where their thoughts are created by their facts. In other words, they look at the facts of their bank account, they look at the facts of their love life, and they either feel positive or negative because of those facts. When in reality, it's our thoughts that are creating those facts.

Our thoughts that are tuned into a new opportunity attract yourself new opportunities. Your thoughts tuned in to a new possibility for a relationship make way for that new relationship. And so the quickest way for us to harness our happiness is really two beautiful practices.

Number one is a gratitude practice, where in the morning you journal on what are you grateful for? What are all the things that you have in your life that you're grateful for? The fact that you can walk and dance and your body moves, or the fact that you have a roof over your head, or that you've got running water?

what are the things you're grateful for? And that will increase your energy field. And the second thing is to actually do things that expand your joy.

What is it that feels joyful? That might be going for a walk and being in silence and just listening and observing and soaking in the nature around you. It might be dancing, it might be working out, it might be going for a run.

What is it that really unlocks and unleashes your joy? This beingness this is highly attractive. This beingness is the one that people chase, the one that is magnetized, people want to be around it.

And what's phenomenal is this sets you so far apart because the majority of the population doesn't live from this state. The majority of the population lives from this place of, "What's missing? What's wrong?

I'm unhappy. " They may have bursts of happiness, but it's not their major, dominant way of being. When you harness your happiness in this way, it separates you from the majority of everybody else, 'cause other people aren't living this way.

And so when somebody's dating and they're out there experiencing different people and they finally come around you and you've generated this state of happiness that's like your normal, it becomes like this breath of fresh air and this person wants more of that and they're like, "This is the person I want to be around. " All right, let's talk about the A in CHASE, and that is authenticity in every moment. Now, I know that it might sound like a common advice to say, you know, just be yourself and let the other person know who you are, but this actually can't be overstated, and here's why.

When you are naturally you, then what happens is that's a bit polarizing. There are gonna be people who are drawn to you and there's also gonna be people repelled to you. The same thing that makes a magnet repelling is also what makes it attractive.

What you don't wanna be is so neutral, so vanilla, so to speak, that it's neither magnetizing nor repelling. And so this is what's great about being authentically you, is that some people aren't gonna like it. They're not gonna vibe with it.

So for any of us who have a fear around being our authentic self, that if I really show up as who I am I'm gonna be too nerdy or quirky or silly and it's gonna turn people off, people aren't gonna like it; well, the same energy that turns those people off is the same energy that attracts the right people to you. So a great example of this is Jennifer Lawrence. She won the Oscar in 2013, and what we love about Jennifer Lawrence is really how authentic she is in all the moments.

Whether it's on stage at the Oscars or whether it's backstage or hanging out with friends, it's like you can tell that she is who she is. What you see is what you get. And so there's this great moment when in 2013, she's winning the Oscar, she's walking up the steps, and she trips in her gown in front of everybody, in front of the world.

Like imagine how embarrassing that would be to the average person. And she stands up and everyone's standing up clapping and she's like, "You guys are just standing up because you feel bad that I tripped and that's really embarrassing, but okay. " And instead of me describing this to you, I would love for you to see this.

Watch this. - [Host] Previously nominated in this category for "Winter's Bone. " (audience applauding) - You guys are just standing up because you feel bad that I fell and that's really embarrassing, but thank you.

This is nuts! - And what I love about this example is here is her being fully authentic, fully transparent, just really owning the fact that she feels embarrassed in that moment, and that's what endears us to her. So the more that we can open up, the more that we can show our authenticity in these moments, we are gonna push away the wrong people, the people we don't wanna have in our lives, but at the same time, we're gonna magnetize those right people.

Now, the S in CHASE stands for shine your feminine energy. And I'm inserting feminine energy into this formula because I'm making an assumption that you want to be with a healthy masculine man. You want to be with a man who wants to lead, who wants to provide, who wants to protect, and that's the kind of energy that you're attracted to.

So if that's the case, then shine that feminine energy. Now, the fastest way to begin to unlock that when you're interacting with him and his masculine energy is to give yourself permission to release control. Release control of having to manage the outcome.

Release control of having to plan the date. Release control of having to keep it all organized, and instead trust that he will take care of it. Trust that he's gonna deliver on what he's promised.

Trust and allow him to take you on the date, take you for the experience, and then allow yourself to joyfully receive. Easier said than done in many cases, but I challenge you, allow yourself to receive and you're gonna naturally feel yourself dial up that feminine energy, and there is nothing more attractive to masculine energy than authentic, powerful, feminine energy. And a woman who is grounded in that is gonna have the man who's in his healthy masculine be like, "Wow, she is amazing.

" How do I know? That was my experience. I was actually wobbly in my masculine energy and my wife was so grounded in her feminine that she actually called me forward and called me more to my masculine energy and I loved it and I was like, "Wow, this is a woman that I've got to get to know.

" And the E in this formula is embrace vulnerability. Embrace vulnerability, and we put this one last. I think it's perfect that it's E, it's last in the formula, 'cause this is one that you want to do after you've developed some trust with this other person, after you know that they're willing to protect and take care of whatever vulnerable information you share.

But I wanna blow apart a myth. Some people think vulnerability is weakness, vulnerability is opening yourself up to getting hurt and it puts you in a weak position and less control, and all of that is manipulation and games. You want to develop an authentic relationship with somebody, it requires opening up.

It requires letting them see your true self; the fears, the insecurities, the things that you love and the things that you don't love. It requires really being fully open. And I remember my wife and I, our relationship when we were dating went to a whole nother level in this moment of vulnerability where she came out to visit me.

And we were still early in our dating process, but we had enough time, we had been dating for a few months, and she was coming out to celebrate my birthday. And so we lived in different places, long distance, so she flew from Southern California up to Oregon where I lived at the time and celebrate my birthday with all my friends, and it was gonna be the first time that we shared a bed together. And so she was like, "Hey, I want you to know that I'm not sleeping with you when I come up there.

I'll share the bed. We're gonna stay in the same room 'cause it's like we're renting this big house, but I'm not gonna sleep with you. And we could still have fun, but no sex.

" And I said, "Okay, that's fair enough. I get it. That's good.

I respect that. " We go to bed the first night and I wake up and I look around and there's no Irene, and I'm like, "Where is Irene? " And I walk out to the living room and she's sleeping on a futon outside.

It wasn't even the living room, it was like this hallway. And I'm like, "Hey, babe, what's going on? Like, you're sleeping out here.

" And she could have, in this moment, come up with all kinds, a whole story about why she was sleeping on that futon, all kinds of other reasons that would've made sense, but would've actually created some distance between us, because the real reason she was sleeping on the futon was embarrassing. The real reason would be a reason that you wouldn't wanna tell somebody that you were trying to create attraction with and create closeness with because you feel like it might push this person away, but Irene was willing to be vulnerable in this moment. (chuckles) And she says to me, she was like, "Oh, you know what?

I felt so bad. I had to leave in the middle of the night because I was so gassy last night. I was so gassy I didn't wanna sleep in the same room and so I came out here to sleep.

" And let me tell you, that moment something happened for me. I felt the level of love that I had for her go to another level. Why?

Why would her vulnerability in that moment, even saying something that's unattractive as like "I'm really gassy right now," take my love to another level, at least the feeling of it? And it was trust. She trusted me enough to be vulnerable.

She trusted me enough to open up and share that with me. And so I felt the trust and the respect and the belief that I would support her and honor her even with that information. And it was a beautiful moment of drawing us closer together.

So again, you don't wanna share something that's vulnerable with someone who won't protect you with it and won't take care of you with that information. But when you do have that kind of trust with somebody, actually being vulnerable and showing that you trust them is something that can bond the two of you together in a beautiful, beautiful way. These are the five principles that are natural, that you already have, that as you dial up these principles, will make your man chase you.

My question for you is, what are the qualities that you have seen that you dial up that makes your man chase you and want more of you? Go ahead and post that in the comment section below, and know this: there are extraordinary possibilities in store for you right now. I appreciate you, thanks for watching, and I'll see you soon.