Why You Can't STOP Watching Narcissism Videos

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Prof. Sam Vaknin
We seek a second opinion on rare medical occasions - not 100 opinions! Victims find comfort in thi...
Video Transcript:
you're still here watching yet another video about narcissist something's wrong with you yes something is wrong with you it has a name in Clinical Psychology it's called Obsession compulsion but why are so many millions why are they obsessed with narcissist and compelled to watch an endless stream of videos about the same topic over and over and over again from a million self- styled experts who mostly have no idea what they're talking about why is that today I'm going to analyze this phenomenon it's going to be a brief video I promise I'm not going to torture
you more than you deserve my name is Sak I'm the author of malignant self love narcissism Revisited the first book ever about narcissistic abuse and I'm a a professor of Clinical Psychology in c c Cambridge United Kingdom and Southeast European University okay let us delve right in when you're sick physically something's wrong with you you go to a doctor and then some of you not all of you but some of you go to another doctor this is known politely as a second opinion but how many of you go to 100 doctors or 1,000 doctors and
how many of you visit and revisit doctors for the same problem for exactly the same situation over 5 years 7 years 10 years none of you but this happens very frequently with narcissistic abuse You' have emerged from Haring torturous horrible relationship with a narcissist you've endured and experience what I was the first to describe narcissist abuse and then you go online and you talk to people and you listen to people many of them self styled experts coaches and other jokes and you listen to them but that's not enough not enough to listen to one or
two or three or four you listen to hundreds and it's not enough to listen to them for a month or two or three you listen to them to them for years actually gradually you find yourself doing nothing but listening into videos about narcissism that's unhealthy that is as unhealthy as narcissistic abuse it's the perpetuation of narcissistic abuse by other means the narcissist inject The Narcissist voice is inside your head and it pushes you to suspend your life and pursue knowledge about narcissism which is a vicarious way of staying in touch with the narcissist when victims
find comfort in this endless loop in this repetition in this compulsion it's a little like liturgy a little Like a Prayer you know when you pray in church it's a religion it's a prayer intended to counter the religious like injunctions of the narcissist in your head it's like a counter spell it's like you're under some kind of black magic you have been Beed and Enchanted and the only way to remove this spell cast Over You is with counter spells so you start to talk about demons you go nuts you're losing it you're losing it overexposure
listening to narcissism video has so many functions that obsessive compulsive behaviors when they develop are perfectly understandable for example narcissism videos make sense of the world and what has happened to you make sense this is known as hermeneutic function they help you to understand comprehend what has happened to you in terms that appear to be scientific and objective you share experiences with others you compare yourself to victims and you listen to self-styled experts who tell you that nothing's wrong with you you're Angelic you contributed nothing to your predicament you don't need to worry you don't
need to analyze it so you might as well stay a victim because the longer you're a victim the more money they make so making sense of the world the hermeneutic function next whatever has happened to you appear to be so Random like a ThunderBolt from a blue sky it's it's so disorienting because it starts differently it starts with love bombing it starts with attention it's it starts with caring or simulated caring and compassion on behalf of the narcissist narciss appears to be a best friend the person who understood you as no one has done before
had done before so and then suddenly there's this ominous terrifying transition from lover to hater from friend to fo from idealization to devaluation initially you could do no wrong you were dropped that gorgeous hyper intelligent amazing unprecedented and then a few days later a few weeks later a few months later a few years later you could do no right you're horrible you're ugly you're stupid you're good for nothing etc etc and these contrasts are very destabilizing this intermittent reinforcement creates trauma bonding and above all it's very chaotic it's very kaleidoscopic you can make sense of
it so watching narcissism video videos helps you to introduce structure and Order and to superimpose them on Randomness this is exactly the role of conspiracy theories we live in an uncertain indeterminate unpredictable terrifying Universe World reality and to make sense of it we develop theories about reality which have nothing to do with reality theories known as conspiracy theories and so watching videos of narcissism time and again and again and again and again is a form of conspiracy theory there's a morality play narcissists are the Agents of evil some would even say they're demons and you
are of course on the side of the Angels you have a mission maybe to educate others you find meaning your life acquires meaning not only does it acquire meaning you Garner attention there's some narcissistic Supply in it you interact with others gives you a good feeling not only that you are helpful but also that you are powerful in other words watching narcissism videos time and again and again and then in the comment section or in forums interacting with others that's a very empowering experience the essence of narcissistic abuse is disempowerment the narcissist drives you to
feel helpless hopeless infantile he regresses you to Early Childhood becoming a parental figure uh within the Shar fantasy so now you take your power back and one way to take your power back is to use narcissism videos videos to imp POS as I said a conspiracy theory on what has happened to you and then to share this new realization this new discovery with others it's a form of self soothing self-comforting it reduces your anxiety not only your anxiety about what has happened to you not only your anxiety about the narcissist not only your anxiety about
the future but your anxiety about the world because narcissistic abuse challenges your belief belief in the world is a just and orderly and structured world there's no justice there's no order there's no structure they're just monsters lurking in the dark you know the old Maps the ancient maps where it says here be monsters this is how you feel when you're in the terror Incognito of narcissistic abuse so watching narcissism video places everything in context and suddenly your anxiety diminishes you self soothe and self- comfort and it becomes a compulsion we know that anxiolytics whether medication
or techniques for anxiety reduction we know that they become addictive it's an addiction and a compulsion you you can't stop and one of the reasons you cannot stop is that there's always variation there's always variance between your experience and the experiences of others there's always daylight between what you have gone through and and what others have had to endure and so you're looking for the perfect feat for the precise Feit your reality testing is all short The Narcissist totally destroyed your ability to trust your judgment of reality sometimes you think you're crazy and so you
need to talk to others you need to compare your experiences your inner landscape inner processes your behaviors you need to calibrate or recalibrate yourself somehow you need to find yourself again in this Wasteland and Devastation left by the narcissist and inhabited by his voice and so you need a perfect Feit you need to find soulmates you need to find people who have gone through exactly but I mean exactly like not 99.9% but 100% have gone through 100% what you have gone through you these are fellow Travelers and you need to Traverse Traverse the same path
the same journey in order to restore your trust in Your Capacity to gauge reality and so that way you regain access to the world and access to yourself as someone you can trust you've been entrained you've been brainwashed if your narcissist was a malignant narcissist you've been gusted it's a major problem to regain or restore these faculties you need the help of others but you can't get help from from other people who have not shared your experience you need the only way to get help or assistance or sore from other people is if you have
had identical experiences so you keep digging you keep watching videos you keep joining forums you keep posting comments desperately attempting to find like mind people in the Echo chamber of your torture and that's another reason to not let go of YouTube and the panopoly the plethora of offerings it has it has to give you on narcissistic abuse and narcissism accuracy scientific uh Foundation a scientific Foundation they don't matter you're not really interested in accurate information you're looking for information that would validate your experience and your reactions to your experience you're looking for information that would
affirm you Empower you hold you afloat at some point allow you to recover and heal and if this information happens to be misinformation fake information wrong information disinformation who cares you don't care as long as it does the trick as long as it works the same applies to politics by the way people consume fake news and misinformation and many of them we've discovered actually know these are fake news and disinformation but they still consume them because it makes them feel good it's about feeling better about yourself it's about feeling better safer more secure in the
world it's about restoring your trust in other people in the goodness essential goodness of other people so who cares if a self- styled expert sells you on some information that is utterly contradicted by everything we know in Academia you don't care you don't you're not be about to become a psychologist or a psychiatrist you're not an academician you're not a scholar you don't you don't care if this information is correct you care if it works you care if this information has a capacity to restore you and the veracity the factuality the essential truthfulness of the
information are irrelevant and that's of course why you gravitate towards self-styled experts who spew utter nonsense but the kind of nonsense that make you feel great about yourself that makes kind of nonsense that makes sense of what has happened to you the kind of nonsense that elevates you grandiosely and renders you the Angelic victim it's a form of watching narcissism videos is form of self-medication and very often it's a placebo effect it's not real medication it's not real information but it has a placebo effect in other words it's healing it's nurturing it's calming it's restorative
and so you go for it and you can't stop
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