I feel like we spend too much of our Lives waiting on life to happen sometimes we need to start being their life instead of trying to see it and what that basically means is you know instead of trying to posit so much life within experiences and and trying to see everything around you and gain your perspective in that and gain your value in that start giving your own value to those things you know start projecting out with you wish to receive in turn I feel like a lot of Our Lives is about reaction it's about
you know how we feel about things how we feel about something I feel like it is integral to how we experience it you know like if you generally like math or generally like any subject or or anything in your life when you're doing that something you're going to enjoy it and I'm not saying it's easy to just you know adopt a different connotation on something you already previously just like what I'm saying is with the things within our control which is our reactions and how we think about things and connotate them in our heads I
feel like we should take that effort and take that time to connotate it in a light that's going to benefit us and I think that you know the main thing that's been helping me CU I feel like in the past I don't even know the past month or so I've developed in ways I haven't even thought of previously like what I used to think was like my philosophy and how I handle my like spirituality and whatnot is entirely different you know before it was just kind of a mundane uh I think I think all the
time I think thoughts I'm deep you know and that much was was true but in a greater sense I feel like a lot of it isn't a thought thing it's more so a feeling and what I've been able to deduce what I've been able to to come to is I started feeling that appreciation for myself I started feeling how I wanted to feel about myself like how I wanted to feel about the world I started feeling about myself you know and this this is a sign to sort of to sort of go all in I
feel like there's too much waste of time we got to take the first step eventually and I feel like you know I took my first step over the break and I started just doing stuff that I like to do just doing stuff that you know I wasn't a you know that maybe I was previously ashamed of doing not saying crazy stuff now what I'm saying like you know like I'm into poetry I'm into a lot of art music and I wasn't really trying to produce that out of like fear of how I was um going
to be received but what I've come to realize is like as many people view your stuff as many people that you see on a daily basis you know you keep who you want close and everyone else is going to be rather finite in my opinion like and I I like to put it in like a perspective of years you know as much as I don't like the concept of time and and how it messes up our perception of oursel and our perception of our change I feel like using it in in a way like 5
years from now I won't care 3 years from now one year from now I won't care two months from now I probably won't care so why not put this out here now I feel like most of our anxiety comes from you know how we feel in relation to that moment in like a short amount of time after taking that first step now and just like positing enough in yourself to to truly start to grow you know it's about self- appreciation and self Lov and I haven't really touched I touch on this topic brly but I
haven't really gotten the opportunity to really get into it you know selflove I feel like is not necessarily just looking in yourself in the mirror and saying oh I love you to me it's doing all the things you appreciate and appreciating yourself enough to sort of change your brain chemistry about it like I realized that a little bit of change in me when I I looked in the mirror cuz you know I I used to suffer from pretty bad acne I still have a bunch of scars I'm trying to get rid of and I looked
in the mirror and I was like dang like once I get rid of these scars I'll be even greater and that just that like even greater part showed me like a little bit how different I was than previously cuz previously I might have said oh I'll be great then but like positing that you're enough now or you know feeling exactly where you want to be I feel like is integral to getting there like I like feeling like the highest version of myself and that all starts with realizing where you want to be and where you
want to go and how you want to be and just conducting yourself then you know stop trying start doing feel like a lot of us try to get to a point rather than just being there now and I feel like that's the power of the present moment that's the power of right now you know who we are is nothing but the reaction to our external circumstances and stimulus control the reaction you control the person you control how you react to yourself how you react to your own thoughts you essentially change who you are and I
went from reacting to my thoughts in the negative light like oh I can't I need to get rid of these thoughts I would meditate for hours on them for a long time just trying to get rid of the the cycle of thoughts and I realize it wasn't the thoughts that were inherently bad but my reaction to them how I connotated them and how I allowed them to be a part of who I was you know like I would that that focus on them trying to get rid of them I feel like is detrimental it it
it makes it worse almost it's as if you know by trying to focus on it so much you're like only bringing that much in like he who squenches eyes and search has obscure Vision you know more we focus on one object the more we lose everything around it and then focusing on stuff we don't like about ourselves stuff we don't appreciate we lose all the good things and when you don't have that good perspective I feel like we're unable to flourish unable to be who we are without any like being held back like I'm not
necessarily saying like in the past I felt like I was being held back in my own expression but the level of comfort that I feel and just how I express myself how I am and this is all just from like taking that first step in and really committing to getting to myself you know and and that's a pretty Grand statement like what does that even mean to get to yourself I mean figuring yourself out taking the time to get to know yourself and part of it is is the isolation you know over break I had
a nice little chunk of time where I just was by myself exploring my passion exploring what I like I would listen to music just for listening to music sake watch music videos just cuz I wanted to see the art of it you know listen to poetry listen to this this that and the other just for the sake of doing you know being so present within those actions I didn't have time to overthink everything else going on there's a certain comfort that comes with not being in your mind and being in the present moment in that
isolation I feel like it's something everybody needs but I realize that a lot of people fear that that loneliness that Solitude and what they what I find out is like you don't really fear the Solitude as much as you fear who you are in solitude people don't like being lone with themselves in my experience or at least in my experience I I didn't like being alone with myself because I thought my thoughts were me I thought you know the negative repetitions would continue or whatever may be but the more I continue to be alone the
more I allow myself to just appreciate my own space and appreciate who I was the more I was able to just step out of there and be like holistically mean like I still feel like there's a lot of room for growth in in my opin for me I feel like that will never change I feel like who you thinks the journey is over is the one that's truly lost so I feel like I always have to be on that up and up that constant upkeep but that doesn't mean I don't love and appreciate who I
am right now and that's part of it accepting who you are when you're changing loving who you are during the change during the journey you know you can't just love the beginning and the end you can't love just the end result cuz if you just love the end result you'll probably never get there there's no stability in there what I'm saying is you know we waste too much time we waste too much time thinking and anxious and and worried about you know maybe what might happen here what might happen then but mostly anxious about how
we relate to the world around us how we relate to ourselves our friends our family and part of it I feel like part of that uncomfortability is from not being genuine to yourself in a way not to say people are inherently fake but you know some of the ways I conducted myself previously I feel like weren't necessarily Exemplar of me um even like stuff happen to do with my channel My Philosophy my writing and stuff like I was super reluctant to uh you know go on my own platform like my regular Instagram and and just
post my stuff because you know like it's it's hard to be conate it's hard to be vulnerable and put yourself out there especially when I feel like we're deriving our worth from outside sources and that's why I feel like you have to start looking within getting inside yourself so when you're looking outside when you're putting yourself out there it isn't so much about how are how are they going to react it's like for me it's like I I mess with my stuff so much nowadays that I'm like like I'm editing and I'm like I love
this video like even if it doesn't even if it doesn't you know help somebody I'm still like it helped me in a way you know just being able to express that to myself like affirmation that I know how to you know get better every and every day so that's I appreciate you know all of y'all who have who have subed to the channel recently you know I feel like everybody has their own journey I have mine um and I just appreciate having the ability and the platform to kind of share my experience and hope it
helps you know somebody who's watching you know like a friend came to me today and told me that a friend of theirs watch my videos and it actually really helped them you know I just appreciate I love that I feel like that's what it really should be about I feel like I learn more from other people than I ever do about than I ever do like from myself and I'm not saying like just in taking the information just how I interact with them like you learn a lot from your reactions to other people you learn
a lot about how you feel about yourself like if you if you I found myself being super envious about a lot of stuff nowadays not so much and it was partially I feel like dang this video might be a little long but I feel like partially it's because of uh how I felt about myself because you know like you only can have that negative connotation towards people when you want them to be like that when you want it to be like that once you once you stop once you you know have enough within yourself you
don't even feel the need to negatively connotate anything things really just are as they are and I feel like that's like the first step in just getting there and there I don't know where there is I don't but it's the first step in getting there and becoming yourself and becoming better and going all into to yourself um I feel like something needs to be addressed though thank y'all so much I'm I'm beyond appreciative of uh all the support I've be getting on my last video um it's been a long toot Journey I'll say that but
I'm really appreciative of those who have stick around those who are new love yall too you know all the support I'm getting from other communities other other creators love yall appreciate yall um hopefully by the I'm not going to say too much you feel me but thanks again um make sure you're taking care of yourself you know make sure you're treating yourself like someone who trying to help cuz at the end of the day you're the only person that's going to be there for you 100% of the time so you know be the person for
you you wish you had in a way pat yourself the back give yourself appreciation look yourself in the mirror tell yourself you look good do a push-up tell yourself nice job