Why Women Can't Find REAL Love... | Scott Galloway

this all has KnockOn effects for women and I think the data is also suggesting that the crisis amongst men is causing in many situations a crisis for women as well because we both you know men and women exist in an ecosystem that needs to be somewhat balancedh um so I'd like to talk about the impact this is having on women one of the things I I found interesting it's actually because of a young young woman came up to me in a book shop I was just there looking for my own book as you do just

cuz it just come out and she said something to me that a lot of women that have approached me or dm'd me have said quite frequently which is she's over the age of 30 now she's committed much of her life to her career she's single MH she's tried dating apps and she doesn't enjoy it and I part of me started to think about the fact she might be caught in a sort of generational Gap where they used to meet in person but now the the generation below her meet online um and she concluded what she

was saying to me with the fact that she believes or she starting to believe that maybe there's something wrong with her because she's over the age of 30 she's single she can't find a partner she told me she's never had a boyfriend MH she's killing it in her career mhm and she was in that Bookshop looking for advice from a book mhm and I feel compelled because I know she listens to this podcast to ask as many people as I can the question to find an answer for her because there's someone very close to me

in my life who I literally text when I left the book shop and I said I've just met you in the Bookshop every sentence that that woman said to me in the Bookshop is the exact word for word even like I've tried going to the gym and that's not working mhm is the same as a close friend in my my life one of my best friends has said to me as well and there's not just one in my personal life there's three or four well we all know women I'm sure this happens to you all

the time really interesting High character successful attractive women usually in their 30s sometimes in their 40s who will say I can't find anyone to date and it's not that they can't find anyone to date it's that they can't find anyone they want to date and there's some Dynamics here the first is can I just interject validate your point there she also said to me I'm not willing to drop my standards well and and and it's like Warren Buffett said the key to a healthy marriage is low expectations the what's happening is and I think his

name is Chris Williams he kind of reminds me of you he's this handsome young podcaster who was blown by all this old guys do you know Chris yeah I know Chris anyways he doesn't he does a fantastic job and I've learned a lot from him um but he calls it the high heels effect and that is every year for the last 50 years women have become better educated and they're making more money and urban centers they've now under the age of 30 blown by they're now making more money more single women in the US own

houses and single men they're getting taller every year and the reason he use this height is that 50% of women say they want date a guy shorter than them it's probably more like 80% and even if they're not cognizant of it just anthropologically subconsciously they're just usually not attracted to men shorter than them because they have something telling them that this uh individual is less likely to be able to physically protect you so you're just at a disadvantage from a height standpoint now metaphorically women are getting taller every year and men are getting shorter right

men mate socioeconomically horizontally and down women horizontally and up but when the pool of men who are socioeconomically uh uh senior to women it just means that the quote unquote pool of viable mates for women is going down every year and women have been told they can have it all and what I found is you can't have it all um or let me put this way you can have it all you just can't have it all at once and that uh to focus on their careers which by the way I think is a good thing

I think economic viability is just super important for everyone including women um but the reality is as they have gotten taller men have gotten shorter so there's just less pairing Society has a tendency to evaluate a woman's Success Through the lens of her ROM manic success not as much for men people look at you and think and I don't know your relationship s but people look at you like guy who's killing it he's killing it and he's single oh my God it's good to be Steven Bartley a woman in her 30s who's killing a professional

is alone it's like super successful but your your single status is a feature for women it's seen as a bug and you both might be just as lonely but it's it's or you might be engaging in and I'm projecting here I have no idea what your situation is here but there's this Dynamic where the men who are in the top 10% can engage in Porsche polygamy and that is women um with online dating now believe there's something wrong with this that and I'm going to be this this is going to get me in trouble but

let's raate everybody most people will acknowledge that some people are more attractive than others and they find certain people less and more attractive a woman of average attractiveness can have a Rel relationship and when I say relationship that's code for sex with someone who's in the top 10% but that individual is probably not going to establish a long-term relationship and because of the lack of fraction and connection and meeting people via text message or online dating the top 10% of men are getting 80 to 80 plus percent of the opportunities for short-term relationships or sex

so they can engage in what's called Porsche polygamy and that there's not a lot of motivation for them to establish long-term relationship ship which leads to bad behavior and a lack of household formation so the guys that most women want and believe that they should be in a relationship with are the least likely to establish a long-term relationship and then the bottom 90 either have little or absolutely no interest from women so I want to be clear no woman is responsible for servicing a man but what I think has happened is this Dynamic where because

online has given everyone access to everyone the majority of women are all interested in the same group and this group is now much less likely to engage in a long-term relationship and the result is just there's a disproportionate number of men and women who quite frankly are just lonely uh but men have a tendency when they don't have a romantic relationship to not only not have that romantic relationship but then they have fewer friends they go out less they're less professional successful you know if I didn't have a mate who told me we need to

save for a house I'm not sure I wouldn't have been smoking pot and drinking every night you know she was like if you want to continue to have a relationship and have sex with me you've got to get your together that's a men young men need that they need the guard rail of a romantic interest the cocktail or the the peanut butter and chocolate of a household where one person is more risk aggressive you know that's important and pushing the boundaries of what can be done and then another person who's more practical and that often

times goes into gender roles not always and sometimes it's flipped but that's a powerful combination 1 plus one really does equal three and across every species you see that the majority of really wonderful things including Offspring but other things in terms of building a society are a mix of different attributes and so we have just fewer and fewer of that peanut butter and chocolate and household there are now more people not only living alone but living with their parents than ever before because they're not establishing this relationship so it has it's absolutely bad for women

but typically typically women still are economically successful still find places to put that love and quite frankly don't start killing themselves or killing others so it's not that it's any any any any less bad but the knock on effects tend to be less bad for society and I went through the research from the Pew research but also from the sort of centers of Disease Control just to clarify some of these numbers for women as well and they they cement everything you've said um only 133% of women over 30 were married in 1970 that number has

now risen to almost half the divorce rate for women over 30 has doubled in the past 50 years in 1970 only 10% of women over 30 were childless today that number is risen to almost 30% in 1970 only 28% of women over 30 were earning more than their husbands today that number has risen to almost 50% and in 1970 only 12% of women over 30 were living alone today that number has Ren risen to 35% and on the point of loneliness I was looking at how many men versus how many women have a best friend

and it's it's multiples more so multiple more women I find still have relationships regardless of this state of affairs because they they're better at as you say forming social Connections in non-romantic relationships with other women than men are so it's a pretty it's a pretty um Bleak picture and maybe most importantly of all there's a clear direction of travel here and if you extrapolate out that direction of travel we don't get to a good place population decline you spoke of it and how that lopid Society depression mental health suicide if you were to try and

have one answer that would address not all of it but really take a dent out of obesity addiction deaths of Despair uh male abandonment divorce depression if we raised and I don't know the numbers here but if we rais in the United States the minimum wage if we tripled the minimum wage I think you would go a long way to solving a lot of those problems I think putting more money in the pockets of young people uh and reducing the rage and the shame and the deaths of Despair uh and the would go so far

to solving loneliness I think it's pretty basic at the end of World War II the top tax rate was 92% we just decided rich people are here to reinvest in the middle class when Reagan entered office and when thater entered office the top tax rates were about 70% by the time Reagan left office it was 27% what we've seen across studies University of California Riverside and UC Berkeley did studies on minimum wage and in Washington state California New York where they dramatically raised minimum wage the incumbents will tell you the sky is going to fall

businesses are going to go out of business people are going to stop hiring it's going to expedite them trying to figure out a way to buy the new burger Tron to to make burgers not humans and what they found was the opposite that when you increase minimum wage even dramatically it grew the economy and jobs because here's the wonderful thing about lower middle- inome people when you give them money they spend it and so the multiplier effect is more stimulative than when you crowd money into the top 1% so if a magic wand first thing

a dramatic increase in minimum wage and there's very things very few things we could do that would have this much impact without increasing the deficit and it's time we have employment unemployment at historic lows so the employment Market could absorb an increase in mandatory minimum wage as a percentage of of GDP wages have never been lower yet corporate profits have never been greater so yeah corporate profits would be hit yeah the markets might go down and it would absolutely be worth it this is this is ground zero that's where we start we're going capitalism is

about a Dignity of work and because there's such a demand there's now 1.7 open jobs for every one person seeking a job in the US I think it's 1.3 to one in the U in in the UK we need to put more money in the hands of lower and middle-income households full stop if you love the dver CEO brand and you watch this Channel please do me a huge favor become part of the 15% of the viewers on this channel that have hit the Subscribe button it helps us tremendously and the bigger the channel gets

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