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well welcome to another Friday night we're continuing our series on the complex trauma prisons that get created in our subconscious ways of coping that develop as little children as forms of fight flight freeze or Fawn there adaptations that let us survive as a child but once we had adult life we begin to realize they're maladaptations they're keeping life from working well our relationships are suffering because of them but yet they're so hard to get out of we want to get out of but something in US resists leaving those coping Styles behind and so we've been

exploring some of the common prisons that come out of complex trauma and tonight I want to look at procrastination many people that I deal with struggle with this life Trap or prison where they continually hate the fact that they procrastinate but they can't stop thems from procrastinating somebody has said that procrastination is the act of delaying or putting off tasks until the last minute or pass their deadline it's not just a time management problem and that's the key thing that people are understanding researchers suggest that it's a failure for some reason in selfregulation that leads

us to act irrationally so we become disregulated and all of a sudden we're acting irrationally and we can't stop ourself we put things off even though we know this delay will lead to negative consequences another way to look at procrastination is that people procrastinate because their drive or impulse to delay is irrationally stronger than their drive to act so there's something in the brain that puts instant gratification ahead of what is healthy that's procrastination so in the context of complex trauma procrastination is part of the flight response it's the way we deal with danger or

stress by way of trying to avoid or Escape that's what procrastination about so in adult life as our body starts to the brain is perceiving extra stress the brain tends to go to procrastination I want to avoid I want to numb I want to escape this somehow because I don't think I can handle this extra stress so it's very much part of complex trauma of the flight response let me just give you a couple examples I remember in University I had a roommate who left every assignment to the very last night he left studying for

exams to the very last night he would set out weeks ahead to begin working on assignments to begin studying for exams but would just always find excuses for not doing it that day put it off put it off to the very last night then needd pull an all nighter I've had people who they've got letters from the government around their taxes around outstanding bills and they just can't open those letters because something in them prevents it so they put it off they put it in a drawer they leave it they leave it planning to open

it one day but not quite ever getting around to it I've had clients who they've got years of taxes that they income tax that they have not filed with the government they just somehow can't get around to filling out their income tax at the beginning of the year and so it's just a huge issue for them they hate themsel for it it's causing all kinds of problems in their life but they can't get there I've had people who were going bankrupt they their job was not working their business was falling apart they knew they needed

to find another job they knew they needed to find Solutions but they just couldn't get around to looking for a job to getting a consultant to asking for help they were just paralyzed and then many who plann to clean their house they know their house is a mess but every time they go to say I'm going to clean my house this week they just never get around to it so what can come out of that is a bunch of different things so the procrastinator pushes stuff off puts it delays it delays it until crunch time

and basically they're in a crisis it's the last minute it's do or die they got to get this done they're panicking and so what they begin to do is they start to do it but they now want everybody else to come and help them they now demand that other people come and get them through this crisis and if people are unwilling to help out they get angry at those people if people aren't willing to make an exception for them and say it's okay if you're late it's okay if you do it next week then they're

angry at those people if people set boundaries with them and said I'm tired of you creating crisis that are really unnecessary it's because of your poor planning it's because of your procrastination I refuse to get involved in your unnecessary crisis and they set a boundary then the person gets really angry at people so th now they're lashing out and hurting people around them all because of their procrastination then what comes out of this is they then go after the fact of beating themsel up severely in their mind so they see thems as weak they see

thems as lazy they see themsel as someone who can't get their act together someone who doesn't Des deserve respect and they just puts down beat themselves severely but part of them thinks that that's going to help them get motivated to change but it doesn't work so what I hope you see is that a procrastinator really lives with a mixture of negative emotions that's what begins to be their normal so they live with fear they live with guilt they live with shame they hate themselves there's a war const stly within themsel that is exhausting they want

to do it they know they should do it but they don't do it and there's just this ongoing War then they have this constant internal critic in their brain that's finding fault with them because of their procrastination because of failure there's constant chatter in their brain noise in their brain all the things they know they should be doing all the excuses they're making it's exhausting it's negative it's discouraging it's depressing it's demotivating but that's what begins to happen in the internal world the brain and the emotions of a procrastinator so as we've done I want

to give you a test this week but instead of 10 questions I want to give you 20 questions and so mark one if it's completely untrue of you two if it's mostly untrue three if it's slightly more true than untrue four if it's moderately true five if it's mostly true and six if it describes you perfectly and we say each time that if you have any fives or sixes even though you might have a low score over all it should cause you to go maybe there's something here I need to look at so number one

I often delay starting important tasks two it's hard for me to stick to a schedule three I delay tasks because I worry about failure four I postpone decisions because I often feel paralyzed five I wait until the last minute to complete a task six I struggle to start unenjoyable tasks seven I rarely waste time on non-essential activities eight I often feel unproductive nine I struggle to ask for help on tasks that are very challenging for me 10 I tell myself that I will do it later but end up not doing it at all 11 I

struggle with staying focused for extended periods of time 12 I feel anxious when faced with imminent deadlines 13 I delay tasks because attaining my high standards is tough 14 I have many incomplete tasks because I have many other things I want to do 15 I get distracted when I should keep working 16 I prioritize short-term pleasure over long-term goals 17 I make excuses for avoiding starting a project 18 starting a new task can be enjoyable 19 I have to be in the right mood to work on tasks and 20 even external pressure may not motivate

me to get started so 20 to 29 probably doesn't apply to you 40 to 59 May apply to you occasionally 60 to 79 it's probably an issue for you 80 to 99 is probably a significant life trap for you and 100 to 120 it's probably one of your core life traps or core issues now I want to just lay out how I want to approach this topic because many when they approach this topic I think approach it in ways that really don't work well for people with complex trauma so many approach procrastination and just see

it as a character flaw that they need to overcome so what tools do I need to just get over this character flaw and they're judging thems they're seeing it very negatively as a bad thing and so they go to many therapists and self-help books and the approach that is used often doesn't work with people from complex trauma that's what I want you to understand it gives a lot of helpful advice but it doesn't produce lasting change for people from complex trauma because it doesn't get to the Crux of the matter so the focus is becoming

motivated getting organized accountability having a to-do list increasing your self- discipline rallying support for you how to make good decisions think positively so it it's really focused on that area of changing behaviors and that usually doesn't work and so it's really important I think to deal with this correctly is to understand that the brain actually developed the strategy of procrastination to protect a little child it was their only tool available to protect this child from getting hurt and so if you look at it as initially being not a flaw but a a a thing that

the brain bra was doing to try to protect the child so instead of getting down on yourself for procrastinating and trying to resolve it by ramping up discipline and ramping up motivation it's best to begin by understanding why the brain had to use procrastination to protect the child and so we're going to approach it with compassion and curiosity not with judgment and we got to fix this flaw next thing I think it's important to understand is that if procrastination started as a way to protect the child it became part of the subconscious brain and now

it when it gets triggered you're not even aware that it's being triggered often it's happening in the subconscious brain but it's also very intense because this was protecting a child from getting hurt and so that creates intensity now when it's triggered so you can SL slide into procrastination and there's an intensity but you don't even know what's going on or truly why it's happening so to get in touch with this part of the subconscious brain it's often helpful for people to try to go back in their mind to the things the child experienced that caused

them to start to procrastinate what were the child's fears what was the child's motivations what was going on in the child's life if we can approach it that way often we can begin to bring true lasting change so another way to say all of this is for people from complex trauma the place to start in healing procrastination is not topown motivational discipline organizational stuff though that's going to be important down the road the place to start is healing the inner child healing the wounded child that is key so that's going to be our approach now

there's different ways to try to get kind of the picture of procrastination in your mind so we're going to look at it just from a couple different angles so there's kind of three different types of procrastination so the first would be the person that says the least liked job I'm going to do last the problem with that is they always find more enjoyable jobs to do and so they never get around to doing that least likee job they keep pushing it aside but what is important to see is that they look like they're accomplishing lots

of stuff in their life but it's all more enjoyable task they're procrastinating that important job that they don't want to do and so they're still procrastinating so pushing stuff to the last is one approach secondly it's the person that knows they need need to do important job but they immediately go to avoid by distractions so let's do something else let's clean the house let's play a video game let's just watch a movie for a little while to relax so they always have something else as a distraction or escape and then they never get around to

do it then the third type would be the person who knows they have to do a job they obsess about it they plan it to death they make lists they dream about about it they think about it they beat thems up that they're not getting around to it but they never get around to it they never get out of the Starting Gate and so it's the person that plans it to death but never accomplishes it that leads to another way of looking at it which some have called six types of procrastinators now what we're going

to see is there's all kinds of different reasons why people procrastinate so that child who the brain develop procrastination as a way to protect them and keep them safe there were all different types of possible reasons why that took place so six different types would be number one the worrior so it's the person who doesn't have confidence in their own ability and they're afraid they're not going to be able to do the job and so they worry so much they keep putting it off secondly is the dreamer the person that just loves to dream of

all the things they want to do but they never get down to the details they never get down to taking step one they just love dreaming and saying oh I want to do this I want to do this and then they procrastinate actually doing it then the perfectionist the person that feels unless I can do something perfectly I'm not going to do it and so they set this unattainable standard for themsel that they can never accomplish they know they're going to basically fail so they keep putting it off then there's the crisis maker and that's

the person who's addicted to the adrenaline rush and so in their mind I need to put everything off to the last minute so then I get the adrenaline rush there's a crisis that's when I work best that's when I get jobs done then there's the defier and it's the person who just Rebels against the rules so who's I don't want anybody telling me what to do when to do how to do it I'm going to do it my way on my time and so they're just procrastinate as a way of rebellion and then there's the

overcommit the person who procrastinates because they can't say no to anybody and pretty soon they got too much on their plate that they can't begin to accomplish so they keep having to procrastinate put stuff off CU they just don't have the time or energy to get to it because they're afraid to say no to anybody they overc commit one of the things that I think is important for people to think about is that some people you'll see their procrastination most when it's doing tasks all on their own others you see their procrast procrastination most when

it comes to doing stuff that involve people and so soon as it involves people they just get go into a void so let's look into more detail as to why we procrastinate why did this child develop procrastination as a way to stay safe so number one for many children they were given tasks but nobody gave them the tools nobody explained to them how to accomplish that task and so they just had all this responsibility put on them without the ability without the tools without the teaching without the RO modeling and so they just kept putting

Tas off so lack of tools with that for many was a fear of asking for help so you're given a job but if you ask for help then you're going to get criticized then people are just going to say no do it yourself and so there's a fear of being a burden a fear of asking for help and so you just then Pro procrastinate that then leads to for many they tried to do it but then they failed because they didn't have the tools they didn't have the support and so failure became part of almost

every task that they tried they just never had any successes and so now there's just this huge fear of failure because for them when they failed then they were teased then they were criticized even more then they were even punished and so procrastination now is a way of trying to avoid what they think is going to be for certain failure so what I want you to see is that for most people coming out of complex trauma shame is a big part of procrastination they feel not good good enough they feel they're going to fail anyways

they feel that they're burden they feel inadequate they feel inferior so don't accompl don't try to accomplish anything you're going to screw up so shame is key in really dealing with procrastination the next thing is that a limic brain child is a child that only thinks of I want to do what gives me pleasure now I want to do what's fun now I don't want to do what boring I don't want to do its hard work and so the lyic brain naturally likes procrastination especially if it involves hard work or something that's routine and boring

so if a child is not helped to move from limic brain to Cortex to begin to think about doing life in terms of what is healthy thinking through long-term consequences but they just continue to be dominated by their lyic brain when they get to adult life they're still going to be thinking of I don't feel like doing this I just want to do something that's fun and not think through long-term consequences so the whole predominant lyic brain where person's never grown into their cortex as an adult can still Trip them up and cause them to

procrastinate some children procrastinated because it was the only way they got attention from their parents so their parents were too busy their parents never connect Ed with them their parents were always irritated with them and so the only way they got their parents full attention is when they put stuff off until there was a crisis then their parents gave them their full attention and so to a child bad attention is better than no attention even so I'd rather get this kind of attention even though it's negative others learn to rationalize that and they often got

this from their parents that their parents procrastinated because they work better under pressure and so if they left it to the last minute then when they're under pressure that's when they work the best and so a child just learned to begin to rationalize TOS yeah I'm just doing this because I work better under pressure and that became an issue even though now when they're under pressure it causes extra stress that's messing them up it's hurting their relationships they still use that rationalization I think for some children who weren't given tools they begin to fear becoming

a responsible adult because a responsible adult has a lot of extra pressure on them they can't just do what they want they can't just live out of their lyic brain and so a child sometimes begins to go I'll just keep procrastinating because then nobody will expect me to grow up nobody will then set the standard and say oh they can fulfill that responsibility consistently now we'll require them to fulfill that responsibility consistently another thing that comes out of complex trauma is some children try to become invisible if if nobody sees me if if if I

never make any demands if I never put myself out there then I'll never get hurt and so when they're given responsibilities that means that they're going to be noticed that means they're going to put themsel out there and so for an invisible child they will often procrastinate as a way to try to remain invisible because taking on that responsibility is going to put them in the spotlight and that could mean that they're going to get judged and hurt we've already talked about perfectionism unless I can do it perfectly I'm not going to even attempt it

so I'll procrastinate another char istic of complex trauma is often children grow up in chaos there's just bad things happening all the time there's drama there's danger there's all kinds of noise going on violence fighting tension and so it's really really hard for the child to concentrate long enough to complete a task because their brain is dirting around with all of the distractions all that chaos that's going on on and so they can't be present long enough to complete the task then in the child's mind is well let's just do a bunch of mindless distractions

that use up all the nervous energy I got because I can't get the job done that I need to do and so procrastination comes out of that many people that grow up in that chaos that becomes their normal and so their nervous system actually it needs a certain amount of drama and chaos to feel normal if life is too quiet if life is too structured it feels boring it feels kind of dead and so now for people to sit down and do a task even when they're in a place that's safe and quiet with no

distractions something now resists it because it feels boring it feels too structured it feels restrictive and so they begin to go I'm just kind of a spontaneous person I need to do stuff when I feel like it when it's exciting to me I don't like routine and rigid structure another thing that can come out of complex trauma is the spoiled child and they tend to become procrastinators in adult life because in childhood if you put off doing something somebody'd step in and do it for you so if you procrastinate that's a good way to get

somebody else to do it for you or you were never required to do hard work you were never required to be disciplined to do chores and a routine you could do what only what you felt like doing you you didn't have to do stuff you didn't feel like doing and then if you didn't do stuff there were no negative consequences it was just oh okay somebody else will take care of the consequences for you and so many spoiled children turn out to be procrastinators another thing that comes out of complex trauma is this strong internal

critic which is connected to shame connected to the parenting that you received as a child where you're always finding fault with stuff and so what happens is if you're don't do the job you get criticized but if you put off doing the job you get criticized if you do the job you get criticized you're going to get criticized whether you procrastinate whether you don't do it whether you do it there's criticism everywhere and so for people that just have this powerful inner inner critic it's a no win for them they're going to get criticism everywhere

so they just go let's distract and let's try to have pleasure and shut up the inner critic because I'm going to get criticized even if I do the job next one so many people growing up in complex trauma become emotionally and physically exhausted they're just on guard all the time they're using a ton of nervous energy because of the stress of their lives they're not relaxing properly and getting into their parasympathetic nervous system and so when it comes to think about doing a new job that they should do they go I just can't I'm too

tired that's legitimate but it causes them to procrastinate so that place of being overwhelmed and exhausted that they live in causes them to just put off as long as they can doing jobs another thing that comes out of complex trauma is the distractions become addictions so it can be food TV drugs alcohol gambling sex whatever but what begins to happen is when you're faced with a job that's needs to be done your brain goes I'd rather do my addiction it delivers instant gratification it takes me out of all this stress for a while and so

the addiction continually wins out another thing that comes out of complex trauma is depression the brain just life sucks or the brain says we're going to go to the parasympathetic what you whether you like it or not we're not going to continue in the sympathetic nervous system and so we're going to start shutting down and that will include depression well what does depression do it takes away all motivation I don't feel like doing anything nothing gives me pleasure and so people just start procrastinating because of that depression then we talked about the Rebellion one so

procrastination for a child was a way to rebel against controlling parents authoritarian parents who never heard them who never listened to them who never tried to understand them who just demanded everything be their way and so the child procrastinated as a subtle way of rebellion another thing that can begin to happen because of all the shame and the guilt that comes out of complex trauma is that people begin to believe they don't deserve a good life and so procrastination is actually a way of subtly sabotaging themselves so I should get this job done I could

get this job done this job will lead to Greater success to Greater Health to to a good job to better relationships but their subconscious brain goes you don't deserve that so let's procrastinate as a way to sabotage some parents went beyond just spoiling their child they did everything for their child for other reasons and so the child just procrastinated and then their parents did took over and did it because they were just impatient so if the child didn't learn how to mix the dough or put egg in the batter all of that properly the first

time was making too much of of a mess the parents just took over cuz they were so impatient or if the child didn't do it perfectly the first time the parents took over because they were perfectionists or the If the parents were all about image then they would do everything for the child in a public setting so that they look good the child didn't have to learn or try to do it or if the parent was codependent with the child and they just wanted their child to be happy all the time and never struggle and

never go through painful emotions the parent jumped in and did everything for the child just so the child would be happy so that then results in a child later on becoming great at procrastinating one other thing is some children that come out of complex trauma end up with ADHD attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and what we know about ADHD D is that children with ADHD don't have a good concept or a sense of time so they can go you need to get something done today and they can just play around thinking they got all kinds of

time and burn up the whole day because they just don't have a good concept of time and so they're procrastinating without even realizing they're procrastinating one of the things that usually develops as a person begins procrastinating more and more is that they then have to develop kind of mental Gams to feel okay about it to justify it to thems and so in the beginning it might start out oh yeah I got lots of time so they can make that excuse and put it off but then they can go to oh I need the extra pressure

of a deadline hanging over my head before I get the right head space to do a job they can develop all kinds of mental games and so part of the procrastination and dealing with it is beginning to understand The Lies We Tell ourself the ways we Justified it to try to relieve the guilt to try to relieve the shame that we were feeling another thing that's important to understand is that when a person switches into procrastination mode so they get a task they know they need to do it they think about it for a little

bit and then they start to avoid avoid they usually switch into victim mode they usually switch into poor me life my life sucks and they just feel like they're a victim of their circumstances and and there's a certain helplessness and hopelessness that goes with that the next thing we need to understand about procrastination with the child is they initially did it to survive but then it became a Happ habit and so now even if they don't need to do it the Habit has been formed in the brain and the longer one stays in a habit

it creates an inertia it's kind of like setting cement it just gets harder and harder to lift your foot out of it keeps you stuck because you've been in it for so long and so when a person wants to deal with procrastination they really have to deal with three things they have to overcome the inertia of just being in that place for so long they have to break the habit and then they have to heal the underlying issues so important to see there's many facets to Healing so let's look at how do I change this

most have come to the point where they realize they hate it it's causing all kinds of problems they want to change it but for some reason they keep falling back into it it's a prison to them so what I want you to realize we really have to deal with it on two levels you got to deal with practical stuff in the here and now but you got to deal with that wounded child why did that brain develop procrastination as a way to protect that child but before we get to that let me start with two

important things that you need to make a distinction between most only see procrastination in negative light as something that is unhealthy but I think there's actually two times in our life when procrastination presents itself as actually something healthy something we need to pay attention to so number one if you are exhausted if you've been pushing yourself too hard if you have not been doing proper self-care meeting your 12 needs in a healthy way you're going to be burning yourself out so now when you have a new responsibility your brain is going to go I can't

do this I don't have the energy to do this I want to procrastinate it is trying to send you a warning sign it is trying to tell you you're overwhelmed you're exhausted you need to rest you don't need to be thinking about more responsibilities you need to be thinking about health healthy self-care and so if you're finding yourself wanting to procrastinate again ask yourself is this an unhealthy thing where I'm sliding into Old behaviors for the wrong reasons or is this actually my body sending me a healthy message saying you're exhausted you need self-care second

thing is that most of us when we are faced with a new responsibility sometimes it would be very unhealthy to just take on that responsibility right away without having thought it through carefully we need to be able to give oursel time especially if it's a big responsibility to go okay what steps are would be involved to accomplish this what res resources would that require will I need to involve others do I have the time and the strength right now to do all of this stuff those are so important questions so the danger for so many

people who've been procrastinating is to think okay I just got to start a task right away but they haven't thought it through they get into the task they realize uhoh this is too much I I don't have the time or the energy and then they quit then they beat thems up for quitting and so there's a healthy planning stage in most important decisions that isn't procrastination that's actually taking the necessary time to plan carefully so let's look at dealing with the wounds from the past and the Deep fears that those wounds have created as one

aspect of healing procrastination so think back first of all to your earliest memory you have of when you procrastinated if you're able to connect to that memory ask yourself what you were feeling as a child at that time why your brain felt it needed to procrastinate and usually you're going to find there is some fear so find out what that fear was about was it a fear of punishment was it a fear of failure was it a fear of being rejected laughed at look at what that fear was what you can also do when you're

there in that memory is just ask are there any Body Sensations that I'm experiencing right now that might accompany that memory often people will feel something in their gut or their throat or their chest area they have trouble breathing they'll feel kind of an increase of heat in their face check out Body Sensations then go to okay what did that little child need at that time to help them face that fear did they just need encouragement did they need somebody to teach them did they need somebody to show them how to do it that they

need to be able to do something and fail and not get criticized what did that child need then comfort that child assure that child but then go probably that's the fear I'm facing today so get into your cortex and go okay what do I need to give myself today maybe I need to learn some tools here that I don't have maybe I need encouragement from somebody else maybe I need support from somebody else figure out what do I need today and there's no shame in that there's no judgment in that you are trying to give

to yourself now the things that weren't given to you as a child now you may initially need a mentor or a therapist to help you go through this process of understanding why procrastination was developed by your brain as a child to protect you and to help you begin to know how to help that little child which means helping yourself today so don't be afraid to ask for a therapist or a mentor to help you with this let me go to practical tools for today so you've brought healing to the little child but now you've created

you got the bad habit to deal with you got to overcome the inertia of years of doing it this way what are some practical things you can do to help yourself break this procrastination Behavior here's some of the things that help me break a big task down into little task so if I got to get this big task done that just just feels overwhelming so break it down into 50 Little Steps I could do this today that tomorrow that tomorrow and over the period of a week I'm going to get the task done so break

big task down into little tasks don't be afraid to reward yourself if I accomplish this then I am going to reward myself with something I really like that's what we do for a child if you do this I'll take you out for ice cream rewards are okay our lyic still needs those along the way and then don't necessarily just wait to the end or the completion of the project to give yourself a reward it's okay to give yourself rewards along the way oh I got these steps done let's have a reward so we need that

positive encouragement of rewards and that doesn't mean I'm weak that doesn't mean I'm a failure that's just how we work and it's okay to do it some people what they have to do is begin to learn to do the thing I least want to do first so I'm not going to put it off and do more enjoyable tasks first and then never get around to that I need to get what I least want to do done right off second some people if they're going to say okay I'm going to start this job they need like

a 10minute we call it 10-minute technique to warm up to the job job where they do little activities they do some yoga they listen to some music they get themsel into a good head space and so allow yourself if you need it a 10-minute 15minute window to kind of get yourself into the mood some people they need to change their environment so I need to write this letter I need to get this project done I can't do it sitting in my office or sitting in my living room I need to find a different place and

change it up and that often helps them get started another thing that people can do is to say I am not going to start this task and stick at it for 3 hours until it's done that's just too much for me I'm going to break it into 30 minute Windows 30 minute blocks and then it will be done but I'm not going to overwhelm myself with the whole project some people find it helpful to just put it on the calendar I'm going to start this job at this time then they make themselves accountable to a

friend but having it that start time on the calendar is so important for them another thing is I have asked myself when am I most motivated to do hard work and that's usually for me and it's going to be different for everybody but it's the earlier in the morning the better and often it's a certain day of the week or on the weekend when I am just kind of in my Prime energy place okay let's do the hardest jobs in my Prime energy place so learn that about yourself another thing that's so helpful for many

people is to make to-do lists but you it's kind of toist what do I need to get done over the week so what are my weekly responsib abilities how much free time do I have and then based on that I make a daily list okay here's what I got done today here's where I can fit in this extra job so those lists are very helpful for people another thing that can be so helpful is do it with a friend if you're just finding it impossible to get motivated to do it on your own ask a

friend would you come over and just help me as I do this project just be with me as I do this project that can often provide some great motivation another thing be accountable tell your friend I'm going to be doing this job today check in with me tomorrow just to make sure I've done it and that just provides a little bit of extra motivation play the tape to the end just get out of that limic brain which is procrastination as I want to avoid avoid avoid this is too much too much I'm feeling stressed overwhelmed

get back to to your cortex and go if I don't do this here's the consequences if I force myself somehow find a way to do it I am going to be so thankful it's going to be such a relief of stress it's going to be way better feeling than instant gratification now beating myself up later so you have to learn what works for you and so it's going to take some time to figure out kind of what helps me get jobs done properly there's always going to be an element of I got to get out

of my lyic brain get into my cortex do this even though I don't enjoy it don't feel like it but it's got to be done and I'm going to do it anyways regardless of what my limic brain says so I hope that helps you with procrastination stuff so many of you struggle you beat yourself up start with healing that wounded child understanding why that child procrastinated deal with that and then learn some of the Practical tools well that's the end of another Friday night thank you again for being here