I me now's fantastic at 90 in December she's still in her Warden control flat she loves it there she's got a red rope hanging from a ceiling at front room still for emergencies she only pulled it once but she had a wasp in the front room flying around everything all right Mrs K it's not of a waser flying around doggie he's a big bugger he's like a zeppelin he got a [ __ ] and balls on him no he that big this one she broke Herman and she fell in town outside Farm Foods and she
got up funny about that you get your kick casualty she come on with two bags of shopping went to bus station got bus home walked back to a flight with two bags of shopping this is a different generation this this is cast iron I'm lying up bedroom floor thinking I'm Christopher ree CU of fallen over a bloody shoe brings me up pizza you better come up I think I brought me wrist think thumbs AR wrong way I'm like what you on about is that the flly I said Nan I'm on my way up now have
you got any ice put some ice on it oh ice hang on banging about it freezer like I've no ice I've no ice have you any frozen peas frozen peas I've got tinned no can't put 10 peas in a broken wrist they're always falling over in the flats sh did did I tell you about Lena falling over and breaking a head no Lena she's fallen over and broke a hip doctor's got R pyin he what he's got wrong penisin penicilin swear to God she's great with the words me now I'm going to try some of
that orgasmic veg I am took a McDonald's went what do you want I don't like McDonald's I said I know but I'm bloody starving and we're here now so just pick something I don't it's up there on that menu oh I don't know I love have um I'll have a whiffy I'll try one of them whiffs Wi-Fi Wi-Fi the free I'll have two of the free I'll have two free whiffy let's try them get a couple of whiffs Peter will you slow down your driving's a bit erotic you must then C go and bloody sea
lion she's quite technically minded though she's can you get on that face tube and talk to your friends face tube they're all on that no face Tu Pizza it's got a VD player a thigh pod she calls it a th pod where's th pod worst tyod I give it it for Christmas start it with a cassette try put in a tape player won't fit this this tape won't fit it's not a tape it's an iPod there's over a thousand songs on there Nana honestly all your favorites naing Cole RX and arra and dubs they're all
on there face you does it play records no no it don't play this is technology moves on you see this is what happens it's like I I've still got video tapes I can't get rid of them VHS tapes my wife's like when you going to get rid of all this [ __ ] in here I'm like [ __ ] excuse me love of every single Police Academy in that back bedroom they're going nowhere okay it's all Blu-Ray now Blu-ray Blu-ray would have blow near immed porno at back of a Nissan Sunny that's who Blu-ray when
now we growing up Blu-ray I watch it Gadget Show he said Blu-rays big in Asia I thought Christ he's done well for himself at blue ray back at Park with shell suit at pencil task my mom's in tonight so I don't have to give her three rings but I know I'm safe you ever do that give your mom three rings let her know you're safe and after second ring she picks it up so what's point to that I rang other week from London shed where are you I said I'm in London you don't sound like
you in London so what do you want Chaz and D singing rabbit behind me son that H new beanut I love it went phone rings about halfast 10 at night and you both like who the hell's this who the hell is this who's this ringing at this time who the hell is this picking up you'll never know point it who's this it's rung go it's rung go 1471 the caller with hell the number or when someone Rings you they're trying to give you a phone number you can never find a pen there's never a pen
there's always one pen never works I just I'll just get a pen just h on [ __ ] I just get a pen pen pen have you got a pen love the bloody pens of had in this house the bloody pens of had in this house I don't want an eyeliner I want a pen I'm on the phone don't s it coach pound coin that's mine tell you that you always end up with them little blue shitty Lottery pens about that big good pen I've got go on sorry I've got a pen though oh Jesus
somebody's chewed through end of it somebody's bitten through end of it so now every time you try and write the nib goes up inside so now you've got to carve the numbering paper now 307 29 I'm going to buy a box of pens and I'm going to put them on that pissing phone table I'll tell you now a friend of mine had a phone call one afternoon she had all family around she hello hello what' you say I can't see you love you just turn that television down I'm on the phone here what you saying
right down I can't see you love just hang on took phone outside what did you say how big are your tits it were a dirty phone call and she dragged him around house for the third and final time oh big yeah I'm in a PE for I'm in a PE fall here it's a c outside let's be pipsy pits of gone what Pips what a Pips what a Pips Pips of gum Pips of gum mom then you talk quicker you try and cram it all in after Pi L texting's bad texting is a devil takes
over your life text him I sit at night me with me phone on arm couch looking every few seconds just to see if someone's text meing Billy nor mates Voda phone have new offers if you would like oh balls to your offers I want friends that's what I want on offers when you text you T crap what are you watching what are you what are you watching Big Brother so am I oh no we're in the same room send send what are you doing sending this I've got full signal send I've got to get ey
got to get [Applause] s answer machines and old people that's not a good combination I find whenever Manan Rings Hello pet Shana hello hello hello don't like these bloody things hello eater think can't see CL hello hello oh it's your grandad hello it's your grand I can't hear him well why is that back door open but what you defrosted 10 minutes here machine needs to having a conversation forget Walker our answering machine at home says please leave your name and number after the beat beep hello my name is mom and my number like you're not
going to know your own mom I got my mom a called this phone for a birthday and I keep saying when we've had a conversation and you want to hang up you've got to push the red button right that do we not just put it back in its holster what holster it's a forone not a gun what you about push the red button cuz if you don't push it you've not hung up you're still on the line and I can't make a call from our house cuz I can still hear you at front room at
your house talking to Pats about menopause and I can't I trade head J teeth trade head J teeth think woo mom I can hear every word push the red button wo mom sh can you hear voices can you hear that can you hear voices that's a hair J teapot that's a hair J te it's done it's us the borrowers put the phone down we're over idiot getting boys I tell you if it's not one thing it's your mother I can't get out of old abits I still say to my wife you want to go video
shop for DVD when we get those box sets now was box sets of series you you can't just watch one you put them on you're like oh God put another one on but I want to see what happens put another one on like I want to go to bed now no put another one on I want to see what happens it's 10 to 4: no put another one on sitting in me own pissing [ __ ] no put one I want to see what happens put this two in quick or you can um series link
it now Sky Plus is incredible Sky Plus is right up there with daylight and running water as a necessity in my life no you can't go back honest to God they come around saying Mr K we're turning your gas off it's going to be off for a 4 hours we're digging at top at Road you're joking yeah all right never mind dad Sky off Sky's off Sky Plus is off Jesus Christ ring them up quick is not losing your left arm you can't believe it I got it from me Nana you know we went um
digital a couple of years ago I said Nana you've got to go digital I just got used to pound Shillings in Pence no we're going digital I've got your Sky Plus right it's fantastic you've got when you want to record something you just press that red button there on remote where'd you put your tapes no there's no tapes now it's on a hard drive just go with me right and you've got live pause now live pause so if you want to pause it and go and have a cup of tea or a Wei you just
pause it what about everybody else come again what about everybody else like you're not controlling Britain it's just you this bloody H it's only 40 pound a month what do you want some couple in Crawley watching all this city i c he's going for a slash that crazy stopped again great quarter to 10 here stop st stop st what's happening only thing about Sky plus I don't like is me all life's on times 30 times 30 fast forward times Everything's times 30 not seen an advert for 4 years a dear Fest having a sale times
30 and it's all nothing fast forward you can't control it you're like bang bang bang who it's back on it's back on go back go back go back whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa not to begin that program you gone too far now we don't go back here fast forward again fast forward who it's back on again what are you doing time six time 12 doing in stages take your time quicker just watch adverts that's best when it comes up two recordings have clashed please choose one to it what do you do
with that what do you do pick one pick one quick what I'm selecting the one I'm deleting I'm I deleting the one I'm selecting which one am I doing that one there pick one I don't know throw it to me got a clue doing the ti one now choose I don't know C St mate it's going to fail record it's going to fail record people on quick top of bottom top of bottom choose choose F record now to L see 4% we're on here 4% that's you that there's nothing on herea mine there's nothing on
herea mine look at up I've two world's strongest men and a Ross Kemp in Bangkok and that's me done here love nothing I want have banged up abroad excuse me pardon me for breathing 27 hours or 24 how's that you can't do that that's not physically possible delete delete oh that's better 48% that's oh look at that 48% I feel cleansed 48% you got to have a tidy planner and then when we do finally sit down and watch something together kister rings are up pause look [Applause] in 20 minutes I'll See You by what she
want nothing nothing nothing nothing press play that phone rings again it's me Mom I didn't expect that twist at the end I didn't think she'd kill him who we're 20 minutes behind you don't tell us that when you're you're at work and you going in your holidays when you're going tomorrow that'll be me tomorrow how you not me all it is it's time tomorrow going on a ball running around packing it getting all ready for taxi comes Taxi's here taxi everyone's rushing around you rush for a taxi don't you come on M taxi you coming
what I'm coming now I'm just putting the plants in the sink why just put the radio on leave the radio on in case we get burglers did you do that leave radio on when you go out is it burglar or in backyard listening silent soon as radio comes on that's us bang we're in come on have a dance while Rob in you smack your [ __ ] up Tony KN get up I'll plug the radio while have done now I just played the radio on I'm coming now I leave the big light on big big
light don't get big light what are people say that put big light on put big light on WE I'm doing a cross word we put big light on 2,000 wat bull put big light on that's bad I can see now one of me readers one of me readers dad well we got a washing line in the suitcase you never know here they get all there you do a bit of washing you want to hang your clothes up hey presso come see your dad there you go what's this [ __ ] washing powder little poine bag
or washing powder you want to get there you want to wash your smes couple of D it sink come and see you Dad do that tea coffee bit of coffee mate you right 4:00 in morning you're thirsty come and see your dad always thinking cup of tea dad with no milk coffee mate it's dir I'm thinking all the dad are we all right going through customs with all these bags of white powder are we bust and some Spanish aort that all got around liing dad's like it's coffee mate coffee mate I'm not your [ __
] mate St his brown [ __ ] wi the Care Family Midnight Express they're my tea bags I tell you dads always go out on holiday find somewhere you know go out I found a lovely place you love it come on come with me you love this place it's called the Red Lion oh smugly the Red Lion it's an Old English Red Lion Pub they've got a British phone box outside come inside look at this to serve it want a pint of tles tles is on steak and kidney pie chips and beans it's all there
you see Only Fools and ares on the televisions English papers it's like being at home but you've got the weather you've got the weather lovely couple they retired photographs on the wall a dogs playing snooker you can't go wrong sit down have a stay and Kenny pie your dad come on bring that Connect Four over come on love you again have any foreign food oh no oh oh thank you don't want any of that forign mck what garlic bread garlic bread garlic bread am I hearing you right garlic bread well thank you I've got some
milk rolling case that'll do me got a toasty La first thing you do when you arrive is phone on go out get some P for how' you work it put that card in all four4 is it all four4 for England hello hey Mom it's me you all right yeah everything's fine apartment's clean what time is it though what time is it 8:00 10:00 at 9 here it's 8:00 at all it's 8:00 at all 10:00 here everything's fine what's weather like there on your allies you give a [ __ ] [ __ ] it's that fine
it's that fine r that s she th D you go out shopping Supermarket with self caring and you're amazed if you see something English and you go out and you go look around oh look what I've got Marie look what I've got Marie look look look look look at that Cab's chocolate fingers look at that over here Cab's chocolate fingers over here look at that Les Cab's finger head look at that let's cover his finger I don't know I don't do Spanish look at that domestic science look at that let's Cab's fingeres and they buy
them even though they're a pound deer than the AR Spa they buy them and they stand outside Supermarket like that they taste the same they taste exactly the same don't like needles as I've got older that's why I've stopped shooting up I don't like needles I won't got dentist cuz I won't have an injection I lost a filling at Christmas I lost quality Street toffee Penny be wared be warm laugh I'm suing him I tell you that and I'm suing um eess blue Arbor for getting into jogging bottles giving me a false sense of security
so I lost the filling but I wouldn't good dentist cuz I don't like needles anyway left it and left it it turned into a bloody abscess Agony it all came to an head when I sucked on a slush puppy at Thomas land to drink love and I we're going oh oh I've got to get home I've got to get home I in a people carrier were four under fivey olds listening to it Wiggles and I thought I've got to get back home so I piled everyone at car I got on M6 tall road back to
Bolton I have my money ready 450 used to be 380 robbing bastard I went to the automated one pulls up how going me tooth open the window hey it's electric those days are gone hey none of that anymore electric bought me window got me four 50 threw it into a bucket missed how can you miss it's that big 350 went in P coin went straight on the people carrier I'm like Christ I've got to get out now that I can't tell a member of Staff cuz there's no bugger there I've got about that much room
open me door It's banging I can't go forward there's a barrier I'm trying to get out and slide down on I don't know if you've noticed I'm big bonded so I'm trying to get down onto my KNE there's a behind me beeping wait impatient prick I'm out floor here listening to Hot Potato The Wiggles I can see p coin it's right on that Center at people carrier laughing at me I ends up I'm on my knees on the floor is wets that fine rain scks you through and I'm lying on the TAC on me absess
cheek reaching for this P car a black tote black tote I woke up in a 24-hour emergency dentist in Tamworth and he were cross-eyed he would cross-eyed this dentist swear to God I don't mean cross-eyed like that you know when your eyes meet it middle he he looked past me you know sometimes you get them people and they're slightly bossy they look past you when they're talking awful cuz when he when I woke up he went Mr K I'm giving it proper subtle like awful cuz when he was trying to drill I thought he was
going to go through me cheek cuz he's looking on floor outside don't CH had an x-ray have you ever an x-ray dentist you've got to bite on this bit of plastic and then put your head in a vice and then IM assistant leg it out at room and leave you I'm like where you going come back no no Mr K you stay [Music] radiation like Christ where are we chobble what's going on here we got an absess look at her coming out in clumps what's going on ter notkins great St M put these goggles on
for flying debris or whatever like he's putting up a kitchen extension then he injects me you feel a bit of a sting more of a stab than a sting lime prick he went in and his assistant started sucking grow up I didn't go private she went in and he starts drilling away and then you know he takes it out and you have a quick check with your tongue to see how he's doing but your problem is your tongue magnifies the all I'm oh my God how big's this all he drilling here well he got an
ABS say he's putting up a shopping center in my mouth look at this two blocks on edging me tooth and how giving it back here with that skip back here don't here and he starts using his chest as a workbench honest to God but El scalp full hmer Brew what are you doing big cup ring on me shirt get a CER get a coer you're dragged don't get a CER then after half an hour of absolute Bliss I had a rinse where you're all nor you can't feel it oh [ __ ] thanks thanks thanks
very much L proper embarrassed like you want any more problems with that tooth Mr K oh yeah thanks yeah stagger out to reception are you free in 6 months on a Tuesday at quarter p 4 I don't know where I am love right now I can't see colors I don't know where I am speak that's £ 343 I heard that I heard that for this is she wor a masus sh jumper what's the matter with you you take my SW pdon you take my SW who my my SW this say my SW my what I
can't hear it my SW sweet sweet you sweets sweet C sweet oh switch I said switch for five minutes you're there sweet spit over your counter is sweet it's expired now it's expired crime's on its ass you see things have changed no one's bothered years ago an alarm would go off in your Front Street you'd be out you know is everything all right giving it good neighbors you're all right your alarm are going off and I'm a bit of a nauy [ __ ] you're all right are you sure you sure you're all right are
you sure that were years a no no one's bothered hold have you heard that over the two days that's been going off over there two bloody days eh you it's a good job not on nights have you heard that they could be they could be dead look at this 26 bottles of milk the greedy bastards look at that e what have they got a lion look at all these here hot free papers hanging out at door bad crime watch is bad I said to me sister do you watch crime watch she went no she said
I don't watch it anymore she said it's not as good as it used be video fits on crime watch if you saw someone who look like one of their video fits it's stick in your mind they're freaks they don't look human they're just made up faces that they don't it looks like bloody Shrek Shrek in a woly out a donkey jacket that come on be do c up L shop you Che yourself have 20 Berle red get your hands up mother stickers this is a [ __ ] up reconstructions are bad on crme watch cuz
sometimes in reconstructions they don't use actors they actually use the staff that are involved in the robbery to get them back in and say we're doing a reconstruction is if they're not traumatized enough so you you've got some old woman shaking like a [ __ ] dog 60 quid cashing on all right all right you want me here and action get on the floor oh he's happing again he's happing again that's your cruel that pulling her back through that [Music] you always have some manager right boring manager narrating them reconstructions he loves it I always
arrive at work about 20 to8 10 to8 uh that particular morning the morning of the robbery they were doing uh Road servicing work up near the roundabout and uh the Dual carriageway was gridlocked uh get on with it son you're up against Bad Girls here cuts it chers will you I usually open up in the mornings when I arrive morning Jean that's wrong Jean's been locked in morning Jean morning Jean put that over about time and all been all night thought you were never going to come I don't move K alarm where's Frank he's late
this morning proper woodn't Frank comes on as I was driving towards work I noticed a small white Transit van it was parked diagonally across both lanes there were there were two men discussing something do we there were two men discussing something I don't know what it was but they both had son off shotgun yeah I couldn't yeah I couldn't quite see the faces clearly as we were both wearing ski masks I thought that's odd as it hadn't snowed in months he saw it all in it's bad they never swear when they come in as well
and them reconstructions come on get on the floor you sponge come on get that flipping safe open you melon come on you know I love when you go for a meal nobody complains all complain to each other but God forbid you'd ever tell a member of Staff they're on their bloody main meal over here they're on their main meal we've only just got our stter they come in after us and they on their M meal everything all right absolutely fantastic really thank you really nice thanks very much lovely special [ __ ] all not coming
here again I tell you that no it's gone downhill Chang D change d so you have your meal and then you're stuffed oh God I'm full should have had all that oh I'm full left under me pants IBS oh I'm full oh do you like a dessert you have him on you have him on you you have a dessert I will if you will are you have one yeah we'll have a look we'll have a look yeah we'll have a look we'll have a look we have a look and never be honor Works do me
where there's not been a fight yet even me own and I'm self-employed happened last year 60 seat a coach having a fight with driver only stop for a toilet stop and a leg stretch I from Liverpool he were I said to him when we're driving before we had a fight I said who what people you get when you're driving I don't like BLS oh God BLS are like animals I will bring a load of BLS back from the races and I'm driving up the m6 I look through the rearview mirror and there's a bloke having
a piss in the middle of the aisle on my coach I Slamm the brakes on he shut down the coach like that piss everywhere girls are waste though oh my God Bloods like EG cups driving back from takea I want we three pulling the OD shoulder let him get off one by one wait till the squatted nickers around their ankles reverse 40 fet full beam full beam they don't like that they do not like that shops are bad when you go in shops I don't like it when they start you know when they think you've
got forged money and they make you feel and there's a queue behind you they start looking at you like you know they start holding up at light see if Queen's got a Tash put it on that ultraviolet machine you know the you feel I went into one shop I give her a 20 note she looked at me like I'd come into house on Christmas Day and pissed on a kids I said hey it's a 20 note love I'm not from Ms so once you give me me change I bit it man just checking love it's
not chocolate you know what I mean to compl play at that game flower people apologize for change as well can I give you all this change love can I get rid of all this Shel can I get rid of all this sh sh on your love can I [ __ ] on your love can I get rid of all oh no we're glad of it we're glad of it aren't we Barbara we're glad of it we need it oh you've come at right time we're glad of it I went to at chippy on a Friday
night right chippy tea like you do it's a law I went in I gave her a 20 KN this woman now as she's putting it into till she turns to the other woman who's serving behind the counter right oh hear me out they do they do this in Gregs and she's putting it in she she says to the woman 20 going in Maran 20 going in love I said hey mouth there's two drug dealers I'm me up for me change here he's got 17 sh out L I'm going to be lying Up Front Street in
a minute covered in peas winded hey they don't do peas d South I went down south doing some Shores went to a chipet I said chips and peas please don't do peas you what we don't do peas they don't do pee they don't do that's my friend he's outside through window you got a tart like that through glass you don't do PE C no Curry STS Cur St you do Curry star don't do c SCE mate what we don't do c SCE you don't do St C St no no gravy gravy don't do great they
don't do gravy my friend come in he said hey how that out moist how that not moist forget it we're going 20 going in oh I'll tell you this one I went to py shop I went to P shop I give her I give her a 10 note right and she's giv me me chain she went there you go love 718 she1 you two she want you 5 1050 and T CH I said hey what's that you saying to me what's that can't change into me and 718 you12 you 5150 and T your CH much
obliged to you come again that's just mathematical bollocks what are you saying to me do you want pick a lily I'd rather lick my own assho all over if you don't mind pick a lily what's that what pick a lily don't eat anything that's luminous you'll be drinking mile next scientists don't know I bought a steak and kidney pie she went there you go love watch me juices I said hey yeah yeah yeah yeah I want a pie not your life story last time we had a proper billly I went on me School reunion have
you ever been on one of them I tell you now there's a reason you've not kept in touch with some of them people all years but someone got in touch through face tube and I thought I can't I've got to go curiosity got the better of me and I went with a mat man he said you wor nightmare you're walking in there people I've not seen for 20 years you know you're getting old but local lollipop lady from in your class at school and everyone's got older and fatter and Baler them the women went over
and there were all all teachers with her they don't get any older nuns I had nuns teaching me honest to God nuns are miserable no sense of humor none I'll tell you that now you send them a Valentine's card every year from Jesus every February roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet I died for you Sister Sledge she W mistress at high school Sister Sledge she were lost in music caught in a trap well turn him back she once's got all fifth year boys in the Assembly Hall cuz someone's thrown a shatterproof ruler
at Carol Farrell it's were there a time before shatter prooof rulers existed what were they blowing up in kids face why were they shatter proof what were that about shatter proof get him shatter proof Bob shatter proof the quick as you can blowing up in kids faces here get him shatter proof son bang another one G get quick sh approved it hit her there if it had been an inch lower it would have been instant death when I find out who it is I'll take them on that stage in assembly and I'll bang them in
front of everybody I think you will we had real teachers though as well we had humans they weren't all nuns have we got have we got any um teachers in tonight for any chance oh oh who don't show to put your hands up hey one rule for one fingers on lips I used like teachers with amnesia who do you think you are who do you think you're dealing with how old are you where should you be now do you know who I am silence when you're talking to me I don't want to see you floting
around school who do you think you wson in at this time don't come here that mouthing off coming here start shouting the odds 79 11 43 27 you think yeah swanning in at this time put your pens down and watch the Blackboard while I go through it who like that one me keep talking keep talking because the longer you talk the longer you'll stay I don't care what time I go home quarter to 9: we kept him till quter quter to 9 I supposed to we're going for a meal with my wife oh Boller you
said stay I'm happy me I'm here for night I'm taping tager you don't bother me you try BL blind a teacher you watch have you all concentrated have you all did it blind to teacher now do you know I know who it is no you don't Cy oh you don't who it [Applause] is try burn it all in front of his pants do it know F he's bald a Smalling he's Bal a Smalling do it know fire alarm I always want to be out me when um Belle went the first one now you start packing
everything away about 2 minutes before Belle put everything back in your pencil case really really discreetly bu my bag there you go but still pretend I've got a pen an imaginary pen cuz they can't see cuz someone sat in front so you pretend you're writing put put your CT on really discreetly you [Applause] back back back everybody back back that Bell's for me that Bell's not for you that Bell's for me that Bell's a signal for me to tell me to tell you when you can go do you hear me do you hear me how
mad they were Mr Bryce at our school what an [ __ ] he were saw him on that school reunion I wanted wind him right weirdo took us on a geography field trip to graveyard see his wife oh Mentalist he just sat there sobbing we were playing arm on headstones you didn't like me is that you're going to be when you grow up K comedian I tell you where you're going to end up Kate the thick table get your stuff get on the thick table used to have a thick table in our class it's cool
a thick table when I say thick table I don't mean thick table I mean thick table You' never get away with that today PC and all that this is 20 years ago and on this 8 HD and dyslexia thick table get on the thick table Jason Patel snarkle Parker sat been ass first off thick table Jason till you learn trees are crank fist oh Jesus Christ with space dust and snot bubble thick table treaser Patty mcginness thick [Applause] table let the thick see the [Applause] table that's true I was that with him he's watch television
in class and he's Wheeling this massive television on legs it were up there two prefects us wheel it in like prize in a game show it were massive like meia cats watching it what video went lot box that have been nicked remote control and a wire systematic stood on show at AEL trying and get a picture can you see can you [ __ ] see now can you [ __ ] see I would never a fan the PE at school me I could see astonishment in your eyes but I never a fan I don't I
can get up here never a fan I don't believe you can be physically educated the use make us walk on an upside down gym bench did you ever do that youed balance walk along him weight's dropping off me now sister I used pretend I forgot me kit I forgot me PE kit get some out of that b in the corner K fencing mask and a neet ball skirt forward roll all change the ropes get on the ropes get on the rocks oh they've been on the ropes twice no sister s on this pissing bench I
on Pat lunches me Pat lunches were two spam sandwiches and a Munch Bunch yogurt in a robin a Sherwood lunch box packet of salt and Shake Island toffee and a beaker M used to give me a beaker with orange cardio with some cling film over at Lids it won't spill in me bag you don't want that all over your books youever back your books what that about backing books mom get me that wood chit wallpaper side at wardrobe don't B me books here anig glp to Razzle B me books here keep things there get alive
I used to love it when I went dining all at school and someone would fall with the dinner just gets walking back to the seat you'd get some girl walking never want to go way when they were sick they used put sawdust down what that about sawdust there's nothing to see on your way of course there's something see she's throwing up sawdust here she's throwing up sawdust some carpens his daughter look at that shavings shavings should be embarrassing Bud She's A Freak they were doing that at school reunion about half past 10 everyone were drunk
sister I doing it we're going around with a bucket of sers throwing it down I'd had a few bailees I were up on karaoke with trees of crank fish giving it bump and grind trees are off a tits pul Dan him at crucifix Sister Sledge I'll kill her I'll [ __ ] kill her where's me shadow proof ruler William Shakespeare went into a Bubba landlord said get out your bad you bad it's a bad is it hey we've started no no we started no a friend of mine got knocked down by a mobile Library you're
laughing son it's funny isn't it be laughing what the MIT sh's full of hard back should be on your ass you want laughing there you get your kicks casualty he were lying in the RO screaming and the driver got out and said sh hey we're at the top we're going a che any a naked man a roll with a woman on his back where you going fancy dress party what else tortoise who's she that's Melle Michelle hey no it's it with a steering wheel down he underpant said what happened I don't know but it's driving
me nuts the blue the blue for Dad's put the blue like that Alan he's blue sit down Alan he's blue you w be God well went to doctors he got getting bad headaches he said can I ask you a personal question he said do you masturbate he said sometimes yeah he said it's magic is it hey for you the wall we not playing games now what more all right there another man went into a butchers he said what happened to your assistant he said I sacked him he said why he said he was sticking he
he's sticking his dick in the bacon slicer sorry Mom he was sticking his dick in the bacon slicer he said what happened to your bacon slicer he said I sacked her and all you were a woman that's the twist you see good night see you good night hey G Brad hey it's the future Lads did you C your on that Bungalow yeah he wants a new carpet [Music] now [Music] la
