Everything About You Speaks! Powerful Language of Visual Cues | Kristina Pernfors | TEDxVeroBeach

Transcriber: Erina Maeda Reviewer: Robert Tucker So, you look a little surprised. (Laughter) Didn’t expect the punk-rocking image consultant, or an interior designer with tattoos and a mohawk? So, let me ask you, would you hire me to go shopping for your spring wardrobe?

Or maybe renovate your house? The truth is we have less than 7 seconds to make a first impression. And we judge each other.

It’s not because we’re mean; it's just how our brains work. We don't like to be wrong. It's been proven to be psychologically jarring for us when someone's appearance doesn't match our notion of what they should look like.

So, it takes us a while to accept it. That's why making a first impression takes seconds, but changing it can take months. And with first impressions, it’s so much about how we look, and so little about what we say.

55% of a first impression is based on appearance: so, how we look, what we wear, how we walk, our body language. 38% is the tone of our voice. How do we deliver the message?

And only 7% is the actual content of our words. Have you ever met someone, been introduced to someone, but you’ve been so preoccupied with what you’re going to say yourself, you never catch their name? And when you prepare for an important meeting, do you think it's [as] much about what you're going to wear, as you do [about] what you're going to say?

All the verbal preparations we make, and still people judge us way before we open our mouths. That's why so many talented people out there get judged unfairly because of how they look. I've seen it in clients.

They get stuck in careers because the perception of them doesn't match the job they want, or where they want to go in life. So, take a look at this girl. She's pretty cute, right?

But would you hire her as your financial adviser? Your legal counsel? I mean, she might be brilliant, she might be the smartest girl out there.

But would you trust her . . .

with your life savings? Well, I'd like to reintroduce myself. Hopefully, it won’t take months for you to change your first impression of me.

As you can tell, it's all about the details, all about the small, silent cues that make up the overall visual story. And I hope this visual story is a little more believable, as an image and interior style specialist. Throughout the years, I often heard from clients: "Ah, Christina, I wish I looked as good as my house.

It doesn't look like I live here. " So, I knew there was a disconnect between how we feel about ourselves and how we want to show up in the world. That's why I started looking at style from a broader perspective, because how we look and how we live are not separate entities: it all goes hand in hand, and everything about you speaks.

I want you to picture yourself as a billboard off the highway. You know, we zoom down 95, we see a lot of them. Some catches our attention for the right or the wrong reason, depending on message.

But most we won't remember. Same is true, walking through a crowded mall. You see a lot of people.

Some will catch your attention, good or bad, but most you won't register. You want to make sure your billboard attracts the right people, the ones you want to attract, for the right reasons. That it tells the true visual story of who you are, so that they can judge you correctly within those 7 seconds.

And everything attached to, and associated with, your billboard is part of your message. So, we saw jewelry, shoes, body art - that’s all attached to your billboard. What is something that's associated with it?

Your home, for instance? It's an extension of who you are. How do you feel about your home?

Is it a good representation of you? How do you feel when someone pops by unannounced? Do you freak out, pretend you're not home?

Or do you gladly give them the full house tour? And what about your car? That's an extension of who you are, as well.

I mean, you might think it's just a means of transportation, but would you trust to list your home with the real estate agent that drove that? Now, I want you to take a second and just think about your billboard. What does it say?

What is your message? A great way to kind of get the process started is to pick three adjectives you want to have describe you. So, it could be “warm,” “approachable,” and “casual.

” Or it could be "knowledgeable," "successful," and "sophisticated. " Whatever it is, you decide. Your billboard, your message.

But everything else, from your shoes to your car, from your headboard to your headband, needs to reflect that same message. And that's what we call "being on brand. " And this is nothing new, this is not some fancy marketing lingo.

We've known this for thousands of years. As a matter of fact, the ancient philosopher, Epictetus, said this: “Know first who you are, then adorn yourself accordingly. ” And he probably only wore togas.

But he knew how to pick the right toga. Now, how we show up can have financial implications. And the football player, Deion Sanders, got it right when he said: "When you look good, you feel good.

When you feel good, you play good. And when you play good, they pay good. " This is especially true for women.

According to studies done by the University of California, Irvine, women's grooming habits affect their salary more than men's. So, women that spend a lot of time and effort on grooming made more money, regardless of physical attributes. So, it doesn't matter if you're considered beautiful or not; what matters is the effort you seem to have put in to your appearance.

So, in essence, the more time we spend in front of the mirror, the more money we're going to make. And I want all you men to remember that fact, next time you complain that we take too long getting ready. That might actually be time very well spent.

But how we show up doesn't just speak to the world around us. Everything about you speaks to you internally, as well. You know those days when you put on an outfit you feel great in.

You just stand up a little taller, put a smile on your face, you walk with confidence, you're ready to take on the world. And then, there are days when nothing fits. You try on outfit after outfit, and it all just feels wrong.

The day is just off. Well, there is a name for that. In 2012, the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology introduced a new term called "Enclothed Cognition.

" So, research proved that what we choose to wear can, and will, affect how we perform. So, wearing the right clothing for the job, not only makes us focus more, but it increases our confidence in our own abilities. So, we look and feel the part; so, we perform better.

Now, this is something I can personally relate to. See, when I was young, I was a skiing instructor. And there was something magical about putting on that official instructor jacket.

It was my personal superhero cape. I've never skied better in my life. I made sure that every turn was flawless.

I even got on the ski lift differently because that's what I expected someone in my position would do, someone wearing the jacket. Someone else I know can relate. It's my client and friend, Ingrid.

After years in the service, Ingrid was used to taking orders. From what to do at work, to what to wear. From fatigues to hand-me-downs from relatives.

One day, Ingrid decided, "You know what? It's time I start calling my own shots in life. " So, the two of us got working on identifying her true, authentic style.

And she found her own powerful voice, that took her all the way here, where she delivered her own TEDx talk in 2019. And she was definitely dressed for the part. But just like our clothes can make us feel a certain way, so can our environment.

The pandemic confined us to our homes in a whole new way. And with that came the awareness of how our environment truly affects us, both physically and mentally. You see, when everything around you is out of your control, the one place where you have total jurisdiction is your home.

But if that doesn't happen, if your home and your workspaces get out of hand, it can have some pretty severe health implications. Because when you don't control your environment, your environment will control you. And the worst offender is clutter.

So, studies have shown that the cortisol levels, also known as the stress hormone levels, are higher in people that live in cluttered homes. This is because the brain likes order. So, seeing constant clutter puts the body in a fight-or-flight mode.

And that will affect blood pressure, metabolism, memory, just to mention a few. On top of that, clutter has been linked to poor eating habits. A messy environment can make you indulge more in unhealthy foods.

So, yes, your home can make you fat. And if you want to lose weight, you hire an interior decorator. Who now?

But one of the loudest ways our home speaks to us is right where we open the front door. How does your home greet you? Does it say, “Welcome home, welcome to your sanctuary”?

Or is it more, “Meh! Chaos! “?

Well, on a personal note, our home, like many homes here in Florida, had the entry from the garage through the laundry room . . .

because nothing says welcome home like dirty laundry! This used to really bother me. Not only did the clutter stress me out, but it was an instant to do list, the minute I came home.

So, we decided to relocate the laundry room to another part of the house, and, instead, installed a butler's pantry, with a coffee bar. And let me tell you, coffee smells a whole lot better than stinky tennis socks. I happen to love coffee.

So, now, when I come home, not only am I greeted by a pretty organized space, but I'm greeted by one of my favorite scents. (Inhalation) And that just makes me very happy. And me happy - it's just better for everyone.

(Laughter) So, I know I startled you a little in the beginning of this talk, but I think you saw the importance of your visual story. So, are you going to go home and assess the clutter? Are you going to stand in front of the mirror and ask yourself what your first impression is?

But before you do, I want to leave you with this. Style is not a question of H, size, or budget; it's a question of knowing who you are, and being intentional. Because when you are intentional, you are in charge of the message on your billboard, and the first impression you give.

And remember, everything about you speaks, internally and externally. And you have the power to control exactly what you want that conversation to be. As Dolly Parton puts it: "Find out who you are, and do it on purpose.