Parents secretly got married & 'Forgot' To Invite Me, But When The Message Reaches To My...

Parents secretly got married and forgot to invite me, but when the message reached my grandparents on both sides, they did this to make them get a taste of their own medicine. So both my parents got married to their respective partners last month, and somehow both of them forgot to invite me. I'm a 26-year-old male and live out of state for work, so I had no idea that they were even getting married.

They did not announce the engagement on social media; they kept it all private, and even the weddings were pretty low-key. It was just their immediate families and a few friends. But obviously, I feel like I should have been included as a part of their family.

In speaking to my grandparents, I found out that even they had no idea that my parents were getting married. I spoke to both sides of the family, and both sides told me that they had received their invitations just a couple of days before the wedding. On the day of the wedding, when they asked about why I was missing, they were told by my respective parents that I was too busy and had declined to come on such short notice.

That was a believable lie because I usually am too busy to frequently visit home, but I obviously would have gone back home for something as big as this. My mom got married to her boyfriend of four years towards the beginning of last month, and my dad got married to his girlfriend of two years just last week towards the end of the month. When my mom got married, she posted a couple of photos, and I was super confused, so I reached out to her immediately.

But she didn't even bother to respond to me for almost five days. Then, when she finally responded, she told me that she had forgotten to invite me because they had actually intended on keeping it all really private, and in doing so, they got so busy shortlisting the guests that would be present that they forgot about me. I thought it was a really lame excuse, so I decided not to speak to her until I had come to terms with her decision.

But before I had even recovered from that shock, I saw photos of my dad getting married on social media, and it was another huge shock for me. When I contacted him the day after I saw those photos, I was furious, but he just laughed it off and told me that I couldn't blame him and his mother for getting married without me because, at the end of the day, who wants their past mistakes to be part of their wedding when they are about to embark on a new journey? Absolutely nobody—that's who.

Then he told me that he didn't know why exactly my mother hadn't invited me, but he knew why he hadn't. His reasons were pretty clear; he had not forgotten, but even when they were sending out the invitations a couple of days before the wedding, he had thought about me but decided against inviting me because he didn't want anybody from his past at this wedding. I thought that was really rude and heartbreaking, and I decided to cut him off as well.

But cutting him off was just not enough, so I decided that I was going to speak to my grandparents and let them know what had been happening. Full disclosure: I'm really bad at keeping in touch, so I haven't been speaking to or visiting my family frequently in the past ever since I moved away for work. On top of that, my work keeps me really busy, so even when I want to, I hardly have the time to keep in touch with anybody.

I guess that's why, even when I was absent from the wedding or when they received the invitations, nobody bothered to contact me to ask about what was going on. That's on me; I accepted that. Regardless of whether I have been in touch with my family or not, I know that they'll always have my back.

I can't say that for my parents, but I can definitely say that for my grandparents. In fact, they had always been closer to me than my parents because when I was little, my parents used to fight a lot, and that meant that staying at home was quite troublesome for me. So I would sometimes just escape to be with my grandparents.

It didn't matter whether it was my paternal grandparents or maternal grandparents since both of them lived pretty close by at the time. Even when my parents decided to get a divorce when I was around ten years old, I lived with my dad's parents for the entire duration of the divorce because it got pretty messy and long-drawn, and my maternal grandparents would also show up pretty frequently to meet me—even more than my own parents would. After the divorce was finalized and they had shared custody of me, I went back to living with my parents but split my time between them.

But that was just the official arrangement. I still remember spending more time at my grandparents' place instead of my parents', and they did not seem any worse off either. Fast forward to the time when I moved out for college: it was my grandparents who had actually kept in touch with me more than my parents, and even until I moved here, it was they who were most there for me.

But unfortunately, like I already said, I was the one who was bad at keeping in touch. I got a little too busy with my own family and started to speak to them less frequently. However, when I recently called my grandparents up and I met all of them, I told them… About what was going on with my parents and what they had said to me about forgetting to invite me to their weddings: both of them were pretty furious.

They thought that it was unacceptable, and the worst part was that they had been lied to by my parents since my parents had said that I was too busy to attend. None of them had questioned it at the time, but after I told them the truth, they told me that they would take care of the situation. I didn't know what they meant by that, but they sounded pretty angry, and that's exactly how I felt towards my parents at the time.

So I was satisfied that my grandparents had decided to deal with it. Then, a couple of days after that, I started receiving calls from both my parents, and they started messaging me relentlessly, telling me to take back whatever I had said to my grandparents because they were really upset and they were threatening to sue them. That was very confusing for me because I didn't know on what grounds exactly my grandparents were going to sue them since they couldn't have done that on the grounds of the fact that they hadn't invited me to their wedding.

It was hurtful but not illegal. But then my mom sent me a message explaining exactly what was going on, and now I think that they totally deserve it. Apparently, both my parents had borrowed a huge amount of money from their respective parents to pay for my college fund.

I went to a pretty nice college, which means that I was quite expensive as well. But it was totally worth it, and I don't regret asking my parents to pay for it in the slightest because, let's face it, they were there for me as parents. The least they could do for me was be there for me financially.

If they hadn't paid for it, I just would have arranged for a student loan myself. But when they found out that I had been accepted into such a good college, they were the ones who had offered to pay for it, probably out of a guilty conscience. I just took them up on that offer because I didn't care for what reason they were offering to pay; I just cared about the fact that they were going to arrange the money, and I wouldn't have to worry about any of that.

But even after making that promise, they realized that they were not willing to spend that kind of money, or maybe they didn't have that kind of money. So they approached my grandparents, and my grandparents readily agreed when they found out that it was for my sake. However, they also had my parents sign off on some paperwork saying that they would return the money that they had borrowed to fund my college education.

But I guess they also borrowed a little more than just what was required to pay for my tuition because the amount that I was told was much higher than my tuition. So right now, the amount of money that my parents owe my grandparents is so high that they might end up on the streets if they were to return all of it in one go. And now, since they still have the legal documents, my grandparents are demanding that they return all that money to them since they want to splurge during their retirement.

Well, it has become clear from my parents' behavior that they couldn't care less about me, so my grandparents also feel less inclined to care about their own children. This is why my parents are now going crazy trying to get me to speak to my grandparents and fix this situation because they don't know any other way out of it. And I think that because I am the one who created this problem in the first place, I should be the one to solve it.

But I'm very sorry; I have no interest in solving this problem for them, and I told them the same thing. I'm not the one who created this problem; they are the ones who did. First, they never spent any time with me and never gave me the kind of importance that I deserved.

Then they made promises that they couldn't live up to, and that's why they had to rely on their grandparents to fund my college education. If they knew that they wouldn't be able to afford it, they should have just told me, and I would have arranged the money myself by applying for a student loan. The only reason they even bothered to borrow the money so they could give it to me was because they wanted the credit for paying for me to go to college, and they did get it because for years I was really thankful to my parents for doing this for me and would back them up when they would brag about it in front of our family, only to find out that it was not really them.

And even then, my grandparents had the decency to keep it quiet in spite of knowing the truth about who had actually coughed up the money. Also, let's not forget that they probably borrowed more money than they needed to because otherwise, they certainly wouldn't have been able to rack up such a massive debt. Then, last but not least, they had decided not to invite me to the wedding, which was really mean.

But on top of that, they had also decided to lie about why I was not attending. They made it seem like I was too busy to attend the wedding when in reality I hadn't even been invited, in spite of being their only son. It was a huge insult because it made me realize how their relationship with me was purely for show.

Did not have any actual love or affection for me; they only wanted to seem like they were good parents in front of the world, but in reality, they did not want me at all. Even though I should have known about it right from the beginning, it still came as a huge shock because I had actually been in denial all these years. However, I'm not in denial anymore, and I told my parents that I was not going to fix anything.

I told them that whatever my grandparents were doing, I thought it was the right thing to do, so they could really forget about counting on me for help. Then I blocked them. Recently, I told a few of my friends about it, and they think that I'm being a bit entitled.

So what do you guys think? Am I entitled for complaining to my grandparents about my parents not inviting me to their respective weddings? Edit: So, both my grandfathers—my mom's father and my dad's father—used to be childhood friends.

They have been friends all their lives, and when they got married, even their wives became friends. Even after they had their own families, they stayed in touch, and that's how my parents became friends. In fact, that's how they actually met each other, and it was a pretty romantic story in the beginning.

Unfortunately, it did not end well; as you guys all know, my parents got married after a few years of dating, but after having me, things started going downhill with them, and they ended up getting divorced after my dad had an affair. That's a huge part of the reason why their divorce was so messy. For a really long time, they did not even speak to each other; however, I guess they managed to put it all in the past at some point because during the time that I started college, they were pretty cordial with each other since they had offered to pay for my college fund together.

But now that I think of it, I think it was probably because the two of them had been scheming together and had decided that they were going to borrow more than what was required, probably for their own benefit, and they would like it to appear that it was for my sake so my grandparents wouldn't question it. It was sick of them to do that, but I guess on the bright side, it at least brought them together for a terrible cause after the divorce. Anyway, even when my parents were getting divorced, it did not matter to my grandparents because they had decided that they were going to stay out of all of it.

It was fair enough because they had done their best in raising their kids. Now it was up to them what they wanted to do with their lives, but one thing was sure: they were not going to allow the divorce of their kids to affect their lifelong friendship. They have always stayed true to it, which I think is admirable.

So, to answer you guys, that's how my grandparents have all stayed on such good terms with each other even after their kids got divorced. Also, no, just because my parents were civil to each other during the time that they offered to pay for me to go to college and have been civil to each other since then, doesn’t mean that they were invited to each other's weddings. They are just civil to each other, not friends, so I hope that this has cleared up everything for everyone.

Update One: Okay, so I decided not to take what my friends had said to heart. I think my parents are finally getting what they deserve, and I don't need to feel sorry for them at all because they have never felt sorry for me. It's tit for tat at this point.

Anyway, I don't even live in the same city as them anymore, so I don't think I need to care about what's going on with them. Besides, I spoke to my grandparents, and they told me that they had to return the money to them at some point anyway. The only reason my grandparents had even lent that money to my parents was that they knew that at some point, my parents were going to have to return it to them.

I went through the paperwork that had been signed by my parents, and it very clearly stated that they had to start paying them back within five years of my graduation. It's already been five years since I graduated; let alone starting to pay my grandparents back, my parents haven't even considered speaking to them about it. My grandparents also hadn't brought it up with them out of the kindness of their hearts, but since my parents are not being kind to me, they decided that it was the right time to bring this up.

I also spoke to them and let them know that the tuition money that they had been asking for from my grandparents for all those years that I had been in college had been way more than what I actually required. So basically, according to the paperwork, their arrangement had been that I would communicate to my parents how much money I required to cover my tuition for that semester, and my parents would borrow that money from my grandparents and hand it over to me. If my parents had been honest and hardworking people, they wouldn't have lied about the amount of money that I would require, but they probably wanted to keep something aside for themselves as well, so they would exaggerate the amount, and my unsuspecting grandparents would cough it all up.

Because there was also a clause that stated that my grandparents were legally not allowed to tell me that they were the ones paying for it. My tuition, and I was supposed to think that they had covered it all for me. My grandparents were not even allowed to speak to me to confirm anything.

Technically, my grandparents have still not reached contact because I found out about this arrangement from my mother, not from them. However, my parents are definitely in breach of contract because they have not started paying my grandparents back, and my grandparents know that my parents had been lying to them about the kind of money that I required just so they could get something for themselves as well. They are furious and already speaking to their lawyers, so I think this is well-deserved.

What my parents did, all things aside, was illegal. The friends who called me entitled for making a big deal out of the fact that I was not invited to my parents' wedding don't know what I have been through, so I'm not going to judge them for what they said, but I'm also not going to allow them to judge me. I'm just taking it with a pinch of salt, to be honest.

My parents used me in my personal feelings about not being invited to the wedding. Aside, I think this was a long time coming. There had to be some sort of very intense fallout to make me realize that my parents didn't actually care about me in the slightest.

Even the little bit that they did for me was not real either. This has been a bit of a wake-up call for me because I always thought that even though my parents were very distant, I was sure that they cared for me. After all, they had taken care of me and financed me when I needed to attend college and whatnot.

But now I realize that whatever they did, it was just to show everybody that they cared about me and show everyone how great they were at being parents. It was not for me; it was for themselves, especially the whole bit about the college fund. It's been a huge shock for me because all these years I've been thinking that even though they don't exactly bother to keep in touch with me as much as my grandparents do, it's all fine because at least when it really counted, they were there for me and paid for me to go to college.

Otherwise, I would have to either work through college or take out a student loan, and I thought that they had done a huge favor for me. But now I realize that it was all a lie, and it's just disgusting how far they were willing to go just to show people that they were good parents while doing all the work to evade the responsibilities of being a good parent. Anyway, I really hope that my grandparents take them to court and make sure that they pay every single penny that they took from my grandparents.

I'm really glad that I have a family who cares for me since I don't think that my parents ever did. I don't think that they're even capable of caring about anybody apart from themselves. So, you know, whatever.

I'm going to take a flight home this weekend to see my grandparents and speak to them about whatever is going on, and let's see what comes out of it. Update 2: Hi guys, so I'm at home right now with my grandparents, and it's been so great to see them. The last time I came back here was almost 5 months ago, and I didn't even realize how long ago it was.

I had been really caught up with work, and I realize now that while working, I had really neglected my personal life. Not just my family; I'd also been sidelining my friends. Now that I'm back here, I'm finally realizing how much I have been missing out on, so I have decided that I'm going to take a trip back home every other weekend now instead of waiting for months or waiting for something big to happen so I can have a reason to come back home.

I don't need a reason; the fact that my family is here is reason enough. Anyway, apart from all that sentimental stuff, I had come here with a purpose, and that was to speak to my grandparents about what was going on with my parents. So when we met, we had a discussion about it, and they told me that they were going ahead with the lawsuit.

I told them that it was a good decision, especially considering the fact that my parents had technically been stealing from them because I could produce records that show that I hadn't required as much money as they had borrowed during my time in college. They also told me that my absence at their wedding had been noticed by everyone who was present there, and they had told everyone that I was too busy, making it sound like they were really upset that I was not there. My grandparents actually wanted to reach out to me to talk about it, but they decided against it because they believed that I would be too busy.

Once again, I realized that my work has been making me miss out on a lot of family time. Anyway, I don't really care what the real reasons were — if they had actually forgotten me or if they just didn't want me at the wedding. What I cared about was the fact that they had made it seem like I had missed it on purpose and that they were very upset about it, painting themselves to be the victims.

I'm just glad that their partners know this side of them now, since from what I've heard, things have gone down pretty quickly with their respective partners after all of this has come too late, because it's not — not like. . .

They could wait until the lawsuit actually started to tell their partners about it and had to be honest with them. Up front, my parents have been begging my grandparents to stop and think about their lives right now because they have just gotten married, and they really cannot afford this kind of thing happening to them, as it'll put their marriage in trouble and maybe end it as soon as it begins. If I may say so, my parents are literally begging for mercy, and I think it's pretty pathetic because they are the ones who dug this grave for themselves.

Anyway, enough about my parents. There was also something else that I had to add. While speaking to my grandparents, I had to ask them why exactly they had paid for my college fund through my parents instead of just handing it over to me directly, and now why they were demanding that my parents pay the money back even though they were aware of the fact that I had been the one who actually needed it.

Regardless of the fact that my parents took much more than what I needed, we just found out about that recently. However, even before that, my grandparents were holding my parents responsible for all of it, so I was a bit confused. I guess that's exactly what my friends had been thinking as well, which is why they had called me entitled.

Surprisingly, my grandparents had an actual answer. They told me that the reason they paid for the college fund through my parents was because they knew that my parents would not be able to afford it. But they had already made a promise to me.

Keeping aside the fact that my grandparents actually wanted to help me, there was also the factor that they wanted my parents to be able to have a good relationship with me. So far, my parents had been complete failures at that. They wanted to give our parent-child bond a fighting chance, and they thought that maybe if I thought my parents were helping me out with my college fund, it would improve our relationship.

However, that's not how it worked out at all because my parents are still failures. As for not holding me responsible for paying back the debt, legally they can't do that because the contract had been signed between them and my parents, and I'm not even involved here. Even morally, they don't feel like doing it because my parents were the ones who were actually stealing from them.

Even aside from that, they were the ones who wanted to make it seem like they were paying for college. So now they actually had to pay for it since my grandparents had the good sense of knowing that my parents might have been up to something nefarious. So kudos to them; they are pretty great judges of character.

I haven't had to hear from my parents yet, so I'm guessing that they are not aware of the fact that I've flown back here. I'm going back in a couple of days, so I hope that they don't find out until then, because otherwise, I'm sure that they will take it upon themselves to come and trouble us. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Update three: Just as I had feared, my parents somehow found out, probably from a couple of other relatives, that I'm here in town, and of course, they couldn't miss the opportunity to come speak to me directly. Since I'm living with my paternal grandparents, both of them decided to team up and come visit us. They literally called for a family meeting through a burner number since they had been blocked by everyone.

Anyway, we decided to agree because what was the harm? It was not like they were going to change anybody's minds, and at least we would have the satisfaction of knowing that we gave them a chance. So, we had a family meeting, and instead of apologizing and doing the right thing, they started to whine about how horrible people were being to them.

This was completely unwarranted. The only thing they wanted was to start a new life, and the only reason they hadn't invited me was that both of them had the same mindset: that me being there would only remind them of the past. It would remind them how they had failed me and failed at being good partners to each other as well, so they just didn't want that.

That was why I hadn't been invited, and they didn't even think that I would take it to heart. To be honest, I didn't even want to argue with that, so I just ignored all of it. I decided to ask them that it was all fine with me, but why on Earth would they offer to pay for my college education and then take all the money from my grandparents instead?

Even then, they would have to return the money at some point, so why exactly are they surprised now? They should have seen this coming. They had signed the contract of their own volition, and they had also decided to steal from my grandparents under the guise of paying for my college tuition.

My grandparents had just been smart enough to know that something like this was coming, which is why they had taken precautionary measures like the paperwork. At that point, my parents had nothing to say, so they just started screaming and shouting senselessly. My grandparents pushed them out of the house, saying that they had decided to give this family meeting a try, but it was obviously futile, and the next time that they met it would be in court.

After my parents left, I spent the rest of the evening with my grandparents and told them about my. . .

Plans of coming back home every alternate weekend, and they were pretty happy about it, as was I. Anyway, I'm going back in a couple of days, and I'm really going to miss my family and friends, but I have to work. I know that I wish my grandparents all the best for dealing with my parents, and I hope they are able to sort everything out in court, which I know they will, because not only do they have my grandparents on their side, but they also have a pretty good lawyer.

I'm confident that my parents are going to lose.