How to Never Get Angry or Bothered by Anyone | Motivational Speech by SIMON SINEK

good morning/ afternoon/evening everyone we live in a world where people can say anything do anything and act in ways we don't expect and yet the biggest question isn't about them it's about us what does this mean about me how do we remain calm when someone disrespects us how do we stay unshaken when life throws difficult people in our path the answer isn't to change them it's to change ourselves the first step to never getting angry or bothered by anyone is understanding that no one has control over your emotions unless you hand it to them imagine

your mind as a house would you leave your front door wide open for just anyone to walk in and make a mess of course not so why do we let people's words and actions invade our peace the truth is most people's negativity has nothing to do with you it's about them their stress their insecurities their struggles and yet we make it personal we take offense but here's a secret when you stop taking things personally you stop giving others power over you now let's talk about control we often think if only this person would change I'd

be at peace but real strength comes from realizing that you don't need them to change you just need to to master your response instead of reacting with anger try this pause breathe ask yourself is this worth my peace nine times out of 10 it's not but this isn't just about avoiding anger it's about choosing something better when someone frustrates you don't just resist the anger replace it with understanding with humor with indifference with empathy and and remember this inner peace is not about avoiding difficult people it's about becoming so unshakable that no one no matter

how toxic can pull you into their storm so today I leave you with this challenge the next time someone tries to get under your skin don't react observe smile walk away keep your power cuz in the end the strongest person in the room isn't the one who wins the argument it's the one who no longer needs to argue you at all why do we get angry why do we let people bother us most of us spend our lives reacting to others without stopping to ask the most important question why does this affect me we focus

on what people said what they did what went wrong but if we truly want to be unshakable we have to start with why could you could imagine this someone cuts you off in traffic instantly frustration bubbles up your heart rate Rises you mutter something under your breath or maybe even honk your horn but why did that person's action really take something from you or did your expectation that people should always drive carefully and respectfully cause the frustration the real source of our anger and irritation is not the external event itself but the meaning we attach

to it we get upset when someone is rude to us because we expect respect we feel hurt when someone ignores us because we expect acknowledgement we get annoyed when things don't go as planned because we expect control but expectations are not real the moment we realize that the world does not operate according to our personal rule book we free ourselves from the constant cycle of frustration think about the last time someone's words hurt you maybe they criticized your work dismissed your opinion or made a sarcastic comment your first reaction may have been to feel defensive

angry or even insulted but pause and ask why does this bother me is it because deep down you're uncertain about your own abilities is it because you crave validation and this person just denied you that more often than not our emotional reactions reveal more about us than about the other person there's a story of a zen master who was once insulted by a visitor instead of reacting the master simply smiled and asked if someone offers you a gift and you do not accept it to whom does the gift belong long the visitor replied to The

Giver of course the master nodded and said then why should I accept your anger this is the power of Detachment when we start with why when we examine the root of our emotional reactions we gain Clarity and with Clarity comes Choice instead of automatically reacting we can decide whether something is truly worth our energy consider a different approach to life instead of demanding that the world meet your expectations let go of them instead of expecting people to be kind except that some people are not instead of assuming others will always be fair recognize that fairness

is a personal value not a universal law when you shift your mindset in this way people lose their ability to bother you they can do what they want but you remain in control of your response this doesn't mean you become passive or allow people to walk over you it simply means you don't hand over your emotional power so easily you recognize that most of what upsets you is a reflection of your own inner world not the external one and that realization alone gives you the ability to remain calm in situations that once triggered you the

next time you feel anger Rising don't ask what did they do to me ask why does this bother me the answer will always Point Inward and the moment you look inward you reclaim control we spend much of our lives trying to control things people situations outcomes we want things to go our way for people to behave the way we expect and for life to be predictable and fair but no matter how much we try reality often has different plan people will say things that hurt circumstances will shift unexpectedly the world will not always conform to

our desires the more we try to control it the more frustrated we become the truth is control is an illusion the only real control we have is over ourselves our thoughts our emotions and our responses and think about the last time you got upset maybe someone spoke to you rudely ignored your efforts or did something that felt unfair the natural reaction is to feel offended frustrated or even angry but pause for a moment and ask yourself was I really upset because of what they did or was I upset because I expected something different the answer

is almost always the latter our suffering doesn't come from the actions of others it comes from our resistance to reality let's consider an example imagine you're standing in the rain frustrated because you had planned a perfect sunny day outside you shake your fist at the sky curse the weather and feel a sense of disappointment but is the rain the problem or is it your expectation that it shouldn't be raining the rain does not care it simply Falls you can't control the weather but you can control how you respond to it you can get angry or

you can grab an umbrella and adapt the same principle applies to people you can't control if someone is rude impatient or dismissive but you can control whether you take it personally you can control whether you let it ruin your mood or simply let it go you can control whether you respond with anger or with calm indifference and when you learn to master your response you become Untouchable many people spend their lives reacting letting the external World dictate their emotions someone is kind they feel happy if someone is rude they feel hurt if things go well

they feel good if things go wrong they feel miserable but this way of living is like being a puppet constantly pulled by the strings of other people's behavior in random circumstances real power comes when you cut the strings when you decide that no matter what happens you will not be controlled by it one of the most effective ways to Take Back Control is to practice the pause when something upsets you don't react immediately take a breath observe your emotions ask yourself is this worth my peace more often than not the answer is no the moment

you pause you create space between the event and your reaction and in that space lies Freedom this is not not about suppressing your emotions or pretending that things don't bother you it's about recognizing that you have a choice you can either be controlled by the world or you can control how you move through it the rain will fall whether you like it or not people will act how they choose not how you wish circumstances will shift beyond your plans the more you resist this truth the more suffering you create for yourself but when you accept

it you gain the greatest power of all the ability to own your response no matter what happens and once you own your response nothing and no one can ever truly bother you again one of the biggest reasons we get angry or bothered by others is because we take things personally someone criticizes us and we feel attacked someone ignores us and we feel disrespected someone outshines us and we feel insecure but the truth is most of what people do has nothing to do with us it's not about you it never was the real issue isn't what

others say or do it's the ego that convinces us that we are at the center of everything the ego is that voice in your mind that says I deserve better I should be recognized I should be treated with respect it feeds off validation control and self-importance but the more we let the ego run our emotions the easier it is for people to trigger us if someone questions our abilities the ego rushes in to defend itself if someone insults us the ego demands Revenge but when you detach from the ego something incredible happens you stop reacting

imagine this you're walking down the street and a stranger yells an insult at you your ego wants to fight back it wants to prove something to restore its sense of importance but what if you simply didn't take it personally what if you saw that person's Outburst for what it really is a reflection of their state of mind not yours when you detach from the ego you realize that most of people's words and actions come from their own struggles fears and insecurities and when you see that their words lose power over you think about the times

you've been upset by someone's actions were they truly trying to harm you or were they simply acting from their own pain a rude cashier might be having a terrible day a friend who snaps at you might be struggling with stress a boss who doesn't acknowledge your word might be lost in their own worries but if you let the ego take over it will convince you that these actions are attacks on you that they are personal that you must defend yourself but in reality people's behavior is rarely about us it's about them letting go of the

ego doesn't mean allowing people to mistreat you it means recognizing that you don't need to react to everything it means understanding that your worth is not determined by the way others treat you it means realizing that that just because someone is rude dismissive or critical doesn't mean you need to take their behavior as a personal wound one of the most freeing things you can do is remind yourself this is not about me the next time someone frustrates you pause and ask what must this person be going through to act this way shift from taking things

personally to observing them objectively suddenly you go from being reactive to being unshakable there is an old saying you cannot be insulted if you do not take a offense the only way someone's words can hurt you is if your ego attaches to them if someone calls you a failure it only stings if you secretly fear it's true if someone ignores you it only bothers you if your ego craves attention but when you let go of the ego you let go of the need for external validation you realize that no one's opinion has the power to

Define you unless you let it true peace comes when you no longer feel the need to prove defend or react when you detach from the ego you stop giving others control over your emotions you stop making their actions about you and when nothing is personal nothing can truly bother you most people see annoyance as a problem something to avoid something that ruins their mood something that shouldn't happen but what if annoyance wasn't an obstacle what if it was an opportunity a chance to grow to strengthen your mind to become more unshakable the key to never

getting angry or bothered by anyone isn't to avoid difficult people or frustrating situations it's to reframe them as challenges that make you mentally stronger think about the things that annoy you the most maybe it's a coworker who constantly interrupts a driver who cuts you off or a family member who never listens your instinctive reaction might be frustration irritation or even anger but stop and ask yourself what if this is a test a test of patience emotional control and inner peace and athletes don't complain when their workouts are hard they embrace the challenge because it makes

them stronger in the same way mentally strong people don't get annoyed easily because they see frustrating situations as training every time someone irritates you you have a choice you can react emotionally allowing the situ ation to control you or you can pause breathe and choose to see it differently every moment of annoyance is a chance to practice control just like a difficult workout is a chance to build muscle imagine you're standing in line at a coffee shop and the person in front of you is being ridiculously slow you feel your impatience growing but instead of

giving into frustration you can ask yourself can I sit with this feeling without reacting can I use this as a chance to build patience the moment you start seeing these situations as challenges rather than problems everything shifts instead of being a victim of your emotions you become the master of them this mindset shift isn't just about avoiding annoyance it's about transforming it into something useful instead of saying why does this person have to be so frustrating ask what can I learn from this maybe the challenge is to stay calm Under Pressure maybe it's practice not

taking things personally maybe it's an opportunity to develop empathy realizing that people act out of their own struggles rather than trying to upset you one of the most powerful skills you can develop is the ability to laugh at things that used to annoy you humor is a secret weapon against frustration if someone is being difficult instead of getting upset smile to yourself and think oh another challenge let's see how unshakable I can be today suddenly what would have been an irritating experience becomes a game one where winning means keeping your peace no matter what happens

some of the most successful and peaceful people in the world don't avoid challenges they seek them out they understand that growth comes from discomfort and emotional strength is built through exposure to difficult situations the key isn't to wish for a world without annoying people it's to to become the kind of person who remains calm no matter what the next time you feel irritation Rising remember this is a challenge not a problem not a setback but a chance to strengthen your emotional control treat it like a mental workout an opportunity to prove to yourself that you

are in charge of your emotions not the world around you and when you start thinking this way you'll find that fewer and fewer things have the power to bother you at all when someone disrespects you ignore you or acts in a way that feels unfair the natural instinct is to react with anger anger makes us feel powerful like we are standing up for ourselves but in reality anger rarely solves anything it only fuels conflict drains our energy and gives others control over our emotions the real power lies in choosing empathy over anger empathy is not

weakness it does not mean excuse bad behavior or letting people walk over you it means recognizing that most of the time when people act out it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them their stress their insecurities their struggles when you understand this it becomes much harder to take things personally imagine someone cuts you off in traffic your first reaction might be frustration how dare they don't they see me but what if you paused and considered another possibility maybe they just got terrible news maybe they are rushing to a loved one

in the hospital maybe they are completely lost in their own worries the reality is you don't know but what you do know is that responding with anger won't change the situation it will only disturb your own peace choosing empathy doesn't mean tolerating harmful Behavior it means shifting your perspective so you are not controlled by negativity if a coworker is rude instead of immediately getting defensive ask yourself what might be going on in their life are they dealing with pressure at home are they overwhelmed with work a moment of understanding can instantly change your reaction you

no longer see them as an enemy but as a person struggling in their own way one of the most powerful ways to stay unbothered by people is to remind yourself that everyone is fighting battles you can't see the angry stranger the impatient boss the distant friend each of them has their own burdens that doesn't mean their behavior is Justified but it does mean it's not about you when you realize this you free yourself from the cycle of resentment and frustration there is an old saying hurt people hurt people those who lash out criticize or act

unkindly are often projecting their own inner pain when you react with anger you are simply feeding into their negativity but when you respond with calmness or better yet with kind kindness you break the cycle you don't let their emotions dictate yours you remain in control think about the last time you were short-tempered with someone were you really angry at them or were you just stressed tired or frustrated about something else most of us have had moments where we've acted in ways we later regret not because we are bad people but because we were struggling if

you can recognize this in yourself you can recognize it in others and when you do you realize that choosing empathy over anger isn't just about helping them it's about protecting your own peace empathy doesn't always mean engaging Sometimes the best response is to step back and not let someone else's negativity affect you you don't have to fix them you don't have to take their pain on as your own but you can choose not to add to it and in doing so you protect your energy your happiness and your ability to stay calm in any situation

the next time someone does something that would normally make you angry pause instead of reacting ask yourself what might be going on with them even if you never know the answer the simple Act of asking shifts your mindset and when you see people with more understanding you'll find that fewer and fewer things have the power to bother you at all many people think of Peace as something they will eventually achieve some future state state where nothing bothers them where life is perfectly calm and where they are finally free from stress but this way of thinking

sets them up for disappointment peace is not a final destination it's not something you arrive at one day and never lose it's a daily practice a choice you make over and over again Moment by moment think about physical fitness you don't go to the gym once and expect to stay in shape forever you have to keep training keep exercising and keep strengthening your body the same applies to your mind just because you remain calm in one situation doesn't mean you will automatically stay calm in the next peace is like a muscle it needs to be

worked on every single day the world will never stop testing you there will always be difficult people unexpected problems and moments that challenge your patience but the goal is not to eliminate these challenges it's to get better at handling them the person who never gets angry or bothered isn't someone who never faces difficulties they are simply someone who is practiced Peace So consistently that it becomes their default response each day brings new opportunities to practice peace maybe it's the slow driver in front of you maybe it's the coworker who always interrupts maybe it's the unexpected

delay that forces you to wait every one of these moments is a test a chance to choose patience over frustration ation calmness over irritation and understanding over anger many people believe they will feel at peace once certain conditions are met once they get the perfect job once they move to a quiet place once they are surrounded by positive people but real peace doesn't depend on external circumstances it's not about controlling the world around you it's about controlling the world within you if your peace depends on everything going if you learn to cultivate peace regardless of

what happens nothing can take it from you this doesn't mean you won't ever feel frustration or irritation even the most peaceful people experience moments of tension the difference is in how quickly they return to balance when they feel triggered they recognize it take a breath and choose not to dwell in negativity they don't let small annoyances ruin their day they don't hold on to resentment they practice Letting Go not once but over and over again a great great way to strengthen your peace practice is to develop small daily habits meditation deep breathing or simply taking

a moment to pause before reacting can make a huge difference the more you train yourself to stay calm in small moments the easier it becomes in bigger ones another key practice is gratitude when you focus on what's good in your life it becomes harder for small frustrations to shake you remember peace is not a onetime achievement it's something you cultivate nurture and strengthen every day some days will be easier than others some situations will challenge you more than you expect but that's the beauty of it every moment is another chance to practice and the more

you practice the more natural it becomes so don't wait for life to be perfect before you find peace don't wait for people to change or for circumstances to align exactly the way you want start now start Where You Are because true peace isn't something you find it's something you become