3 Ways to Express Your Thoughts So That Everyone Will Understand You | Alan Alda | Big Think

3.91M views783 WordsCopy TextShare
Big Think
3 Ways to Express Your Thoughts So That Everyone Will Understand You Watch the newest video from Big...
Video Transcript:
I don't really like tips; tips about communicating well, tips about writing. What I would prefer is a process that transforms you so the tips take place automatically. I mean for instance, very often a tip is given: “When you're speaking to a crowd, vary the pace of your speech, vary the volume.
” Well, those are two good things, but if they happen mechanically it gets to be kind of boring. Some people are encouraged when they're coached: “At this point leave where you're standing and walk over there and take a pause. ” Well, maybe that makes sense in terms of how it's written; at the end of that paragraph you want to make a space before the next paragraph, but it doesn't necessarily make sense in terms of how you're talking and relating to the people you're talking with.
That—relating to them—should be the source of a pause, the source of moving, because it comes out of the thought process I'm going through and it comes out of the thought process I sense you're going through. Have you understood that last part? So now I'm thinking, if you have what's the next thing that I can tack onto that that will mean something to you?
And if you haven't, should I clarify it a little more? So there's a dynamic relationship between us that leads to a change in pace, to a change in volume and that kind of thing. A tip is just an intellectualization of that, which might be okay to give somebody once they've got the grounding in the ability to connect, but it ought to come out of the connection.
It shouldn't be a checkbox that you tick off. So I really don’t like tips. If I'm pressed really hard there are three tips that I do kind of follow.
Probably it's a good idea to follow these tips after you get used to being connected to somebody, but there are three things that I like to do, I call it the three rules of three. So the first rule is, I try only to say three important things when I talk to people. No more than three.
If it's one thing that's maybe even better, but usually there's a lot to say. When I make notes on what I want to talk about, if I see I'm going on past three to four and five I start eliminating them or seeing if I can fold them into the other things. Because three things are really all I can remember and I don't work from notes when I talk to people and I advise other people not to.
I never read it because reading just excommunicates you; it's not communication it's excommunication, in my view. So I can't remember more than three things, and I don't think they can remember more than three things, so what's the point of telling them stuff they're not going to remember? So I stick to three.
That's rule number one of the rule of three things. The second rule is, if I have a difficult thing to understand, if there's something I think is not going to be that easy to get, I try to say it in three different ways because I think if you come in from different angles you have a better chance of getting a three-dimensional view of this difficult idea, so I try to say it three different ways. And the third tip, which I always forget, is that if I have a difficult thing that's hard to get, I try to say it three times through the talk, so that the first time you hear it you start to get used to it, the second time it's familiar and the third time you say, “Oh yeah, right.
Okay. ” Now, I do follow those three tips, but I don't think I tell somebody: “You're going to get up to talk, here are three tips to remember. ” It's a process.
You've got to get transformed into being a better communicator. You've got to go through steps where it's like going to the gym, only it's a lot more fun than going to the gym because it involves connecting with another person and we're built to connect with another person. In spite of the fact that we often avoid it, it actually is fun when we get into that position.
So if we could get ourselves transformed into liking connecting with the audience we're talking to or writing for, then these tips will happen automatically or finally we'll be able to put them to work in terms of that transformed way we have of connecting. It really feels good.
Related Videos
Why you can’t articulate like you think
11:06
Why you can’t articulate like you think
Joseph Tsar
1,069,230 views
Think Fast, Talk Smart: Communication Techniques
58:20
Think Fast, Talk Smart: Communication Tech...
Stanford Graduate School of Business
40,683,551 views
This tool will help improve your critical thinking - Erick Wilberding
5:20
This tool will help improve your critical ...
TED-Ed
6,287,327 views
How to Get Good at Small Talk, and Even Enjoy It
10:25
How to Get Good at Small Talk, and Even En...
Harvard Business Review
1,543,227 views
This Is How You Become More Articulate
14:23
This Is How You Become More Articulate
Jordan B Peterson Clips
4,258,561 views
12 traits emotionally intelligent people share (You can learn them) | Daniel Goleman for Big Think+
11:55
12 traits emotionally intelligent people s...
Big Think
814,510 views
6 Verbal Tricks To Make An Aggressive Person Feel Instant Regret
11:45
6 Verbal Tricks To Make An Aggressive Pers...
Charisma on Command
23,830,436 views
The Art of Listening | Simon Sinek
5:13
The Art of Listening | Simon Sinek
Simon Sinek
686,435 views
The #1 antidote to aging | Daniel Lieberman, Morgan Levine & more
13:32
The #1 antidote to aging | Daniel Lieberma...
Big Think
1,145,629 views
How to explain your THOUGHTS and IDEAS and persuade others -  MADE TO STICK
14:39
How to explain your THOUGHTS and IDEAS and...
LITTLE BIT BETTER
390,191 views
Why You Struggle to ARTICULATE Your THOUGHTS Clearly. 5 TRUTHS!
10:48
Why You Struggle to ARTICULATE Your THOUGH...
Kara Ronin
626,781 views
If A Conversation Gets Boring, Play The Opposite Game
10:17
If A Conversation Gets Boring, Play The Op...
Charisma on Command
2,843,766 views
Skepticism: Why critical thinking makes you smarter | Bill Nye, Derren Brown & more | Big Think
14:47
Skepticism: Why critical thinking makes yo...
Big Think
2,057,664 views
Articulate Your Thoughts Clearly: 3 PRECISE Steps!
19:33
Articulate Your Thoughts Clearly: 3 PRECIS...
Kara Ronin
1,062,959 views
How to Think Clearly | The Philosophy of Marcus Aurelius
5:34
How to Think Clearly | The Philosophy of M...
Freedom in Thought
3,178,515 views
How to Talk to Anyone with Ease and Confidence
7:27
How to Talk to Anyone with Ease and Confid...
Science of People
6,223,895 views
Become an intellectual explorer: Master the art of conversation | Emily Chamlee-Wright | Big Think
5:25
Become an intellectual explorer: Master th...
Big Think
738,941 views
Think Faster, Talk Smarter with Matt Abrahams
44:11
Think Faster, Talk Smarter with Matt Abrahams
Stanford Alumni
1,479,009 views
How to Learn: Pretty Much Anything
11:14
How to Learn: Pretty Much Anything
Mattias Pilhede
5,808,555 views
The Art of Effective Communication - Secrets to Better Relationships and Success | AudioBook
2:23:45
The Art of Effective Communication - Secre...
Mindful Literary
203,578 views
Copyright © 2024. Made with ♥ in London by YTScribe.com