Why It’s Okay to Be a Loser | Taoist Philosophy for the Unambitious, Failures and Nobodies

Is it truly bad to be a loser? The ancient Taoist sages loved to mock social conventions, seeing them as hypocritical and  often hindering true fulfillment and happiness. For example, many consider chasing wealth and  fame to be good and ambition to be admirable.

But are these ideas objective truth? Or, as the  Taoists would argue, are these just man-made concepts that do more harm than good? The Taoist  sages urged people to reject social conventions that cause harm and misery, even if it meant  being judged as a “loser” in today’s terms.

Yang-chu, for example, a philosopher who appears  in the Taoist scripture Lieh Tzu, explained that attaining wealth or reputation is futile.  Sure, both can be beneficial. For instance, wealth generally leads to more opportunities  for pleasure, and a good reputation may open doors that usually remain closed.

However,  there are no guarantees. And, in many cases, chasing wealth and reputation costs us more  than it provides in return, as it’s a stressful ordeal. Just imagine the energy it takes to amass  resources or the uphill fight trying to maintain a good reputation, which is predominantly out of  your control, as people’s opinions are as fickle as the wind.

Moreover, according to Yang-Chu,  we destroy ourselves in our attempts to climb the social ladder at the expense of happiness. In today’s hustle culture, chasing ‘success’ is like a religious duty. People push each other to  achieve, often at the cost of their well-being, leading to stress, anxiety, and burnout. 

Society glorifies “winners” and treats “losers” as pariahs, almost as if not  achieving is a moral failing. But is this fair? Is being a “loser” really so bad?

We’ve discussed the concept of the modern-day loser several times on this channel. This  video sheds light on it through the lens of Taoist philosophy. We’ll be looking at the  Taoist text Lieh-Tzu (or Liezi), specifically the creative translation by Taoist scholar Eva  Wong, which, in my opinion, has some interesting perspectives regarding this topic.

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So, what does it mean to be a loser these days? Dictionaries have countless definitions of  the word ‘loser. ’ First and foremost, a ‘loser’ means someone who ‘loses,’ such as losing a  game.

However, the term is currently used as a derogatory term to indicate someone unsuccessful  or even unattractive. It’s not just someone who failed at a particular pursuit; it has become  a societal archetype characterized by failure, not living up to expectations of success  and achievement. Being a loser seems to have more weight than just “having failed.

”  It’s like having done something terrible; it’s almost as if not being ambitious in today’s  achievement society is a form of blasphemy. A fairly recent Dutch article tells the story of  Joost and Iris, two unrelated people who claim not to be ambitious. Joost argues that his  attitude has led to stigmatization.

He feels that if you’re labeled an unambitious person,  you’re someone who refuses to reach his full potential and keeps himself small in a world  of unlimited possibilities. Iris feels that not being ambitious is a curse word these days,  and thus, she often feels guilty for her lack of ambition. The article also features author  Marian Donner, who argues, and I quote: “The Western world is so focused on becoming the  best version of yourself.

It always has to be more and better, in every aspect. ” End quote. Ambition is a great virtue these days.

For many,  it’s an important, almost obligatory factor in being attractive dating material. And “just  doing your job” is often not what employers want to hear; they want someone willing to grow  and self-improve constantly, on top of their job. Striking is the apparent hostility towards people  who don’t conform to the cult of ambition.

Perhaps that’s why a derogatory word for people who don’t  achieve much exists. It’s almost as if you’re committing a crime by not pursuing ambitions. The meaning of good and evil has changed  throughout the ages, evolving based on factors  like society, religion, and culture.

In the past, in a Christian context, for example, being  good meant being virtuous, and being bad meant being sinful. But, in today’s society,  have success and failure become the new virtue and vice? Have losers become the new sinners? 

In other words, are you a bad person if you’re not ambitious and aren’t achieving? Considering current societal values, such as ‘becoming the best version of  yourself’ and ‘always improving’ or, as philosopher Byung-Chul Han puts it, constant  ‘self-optimization,’ refusing to engage in these things goes against the grain. When achieving is a  ‘good,’ not doing so (or not aiming to do so) is, so it seems, a ‘bad:’ an attitude that people  like Joost and Iris experienced firsthand.

Moreover, many seem to believe  that one’s lack of success is their fault; they just didn’t work hard enough.  They just didn’t put in the effort to succeed. If they would have worked harder, they would  have made it, just like that small minority who did.

There’s this collective belief that everyone  can succeed if they work hard for it. But is that true? And even if it’s true, is there anything  wrong with people like Joost and Iris choosing not to be ambitious?

And if so, why then? The Taoist sages described in the Lieh Tzu have different views on the matter. According to them,  pursuing material success is a waste of time, and judging people based on their  achievements is a big mistake.

In the story ‘Effort Argues with Destiny,’ Effort  and Destiny appear as characters discussing who’s more influential: effort or destiny. Effort claims  that his achievements are better than Destiny’s, but Destiny takes this into question. As a  counterargument, Destiny recalls countless examples that show that neither effort nor talent  decided people’s trajectories.

For instance, he noted corrupt officials who are rich,  honest, excellent workers who are poor, talented, virtuous people who remain unknown,  and the untalented who rise to the top. Destiny continued, saying, and I quote: “If you are as effective as you say, then why don’t you make the hard-working people  rich? Why don’t you give virtuous people a long and prosperous life?

Why are the intelligent and  able people not employed, and why do stupid people occupy important places in government? ” End quote. The story reminds me of being a content creator on  YouTube and the ongoing discussion about whether success (or a lack of it) depends mainly on a  creator’s effort or the algorithm.

Many argue that success on this platform is almost entirely  in your own hands; you just have to make good videos and create great titles and thumbnails,  and you’ll get there. And some claim everyone can do this as long as they work hard. For  these people, success boils down to effort.

Moreover, if you happen to fail on YouTube, well,  it’s your fault. Blaming the algorithm or other factors outside yourself isn’t fair; it’s all on  you or, at least, for the most part. Many channels follow advice from so-called experts.

They create  good content and craft compelling thumbnails and titles like their successful peers. Yet, they  remain invisible, disproving the experts’ claims. At the same time, saying “Hawk Tuah”  during a street interview lands someone in a partnership with Jake Paul and makes that person’s  podcast one of the most watched in the world.

In our achievement-driven society, we  overestimate the power of effort and the amount of control we have over our success, as if  succeeding depends almost entirely on hard work. Survivorship bias is an essential factor in  such reasoning. Sure, some indeed make it, but does that mean everyone will?

Does that  deny the role of destiny in their success? From the Taoist perspective, you cannot  flat-out deny the role of destiny. Luck and chance are always deciding factors.

Not  everyone is blessed with high intelligence, creative talent, a stimulating environment,  good mentors, et cetera. We don’t get to choose the cards we’re dealt with. Thus, many we  consider ‘losers’ may simply have been unlucky; they may have suffered factors beyond their  control that significantly shaped their fate.

As mentioned earlier, an achievement-driven  society values ambition, success, accomplishment, and, in many cases, material wealth  and fame. If you have all of those, you’ve made it. You’re considered a successful  person.

A loser, however, lacks these things. A loser, therefore, is seen as someone less  worthy, someone of lower value. The unfortunate term “low-value male” has become common lately,  describing an unsuccessful man who is unattractive because of his lack of success; it’s someone you  don’t want to be, someone worthy of contempt.

In the chapter ‘Fortune and Worth,’ Taoist  sage Tung-kuo makes short work of the societal concept of being worthy and valuable. I’ve  discussed this story in a previous video, but I believe it’s also relevant to this topic. Two friends met each other again after a long time.

One of them had become a successful,  wealthy man. The other remained poor and insignificant. The unsuccessful friend complained  about his fate, which annoyed the successful one, who argued he might simply be more virtuous and,  therefore, more worthy in the eyes of others.

But the sage corrected him, saying that worth cannot  be measured by social or political success. These things are not something we control. Some people  simply have more luck than others.

According to the sage, both men were buried in illusions  of worth and value based on social norms. The idea that material success, fame, or  achievement equates to worth is strong and widespread. However, from a Taoist viewpoint, it’s  also a social construct.

It’s not an objective truth. It’s simply what people have agreed  upon. The term ‘loser’ has no real meaning; it’s just a label based on society’s  focus on shallow measures of success.

Unfortunately, society’s emphasis on success and  achievement is substantial, causing people to suffer. But why do we place so much importance  on success and failure? And aren’t we wasting our lives being concerned with this dichotomy?

Despite societal ideals, the Taoist sages believed anticipating success and failure is a waste  of time. Moreover, the Lieh Tzu dedicates a chapter to why these concepts are not worth  chasing, as doing so only causes anxiety. The chapter ‘Success and Failure’ doubles down  on the observation that success and failure are largely out of our control.

We never know  beforehand if we’ll succeed or fail. We can work ourselves into an early grave; a desired outcome  is never guaranteed. Yet, in pursuit of it, we may exploit ourselves for years, chasing  success and wealth, until we break down, leaving irreparable damage to our bodies and  minds.

We’ll be anxious, obsessed with succeeding, constantly worrying about the future. But gaining success itself isn’t the problem. Achievement isn’t bad.

What’s  bad is the relentless striving towards it, the attachment to a desired outcome.  According to the Lieh Tzu, we’re better off accepting the role of destiny. I quote: “Only those who accept the natural flow of events will not be concerned about life and death or  anxious about praise or blame.

Intelligent people will often want to calculate the likelihood of  success and failure before they take action. However, their chances of succeeding are often  not very different from those of people who do not think about the odds. ” End quote.

Despite human influence, things will happen as  they happen. Some people won’t succeed, no matter how hard they try. Others succeed without doing  much for it.

This just goes to show how relative being a ‘loser’ is. Destiny decides we can’t  all be winners, no matter how hard we strive for it. So, why put so much emphasis on achieving  an ideal that is ultimately not in our control?

But suppose we let go of the attachment to  success and failure, seeing it for the capricious phenomena they are. In that case, the derogatory  term ‘loser’ is rendered meaningless — it loses its weight. Sure, we’ll still be losers in the  view of others.

They may see us as failures, lazy, unmotivated, et cetera. But according  to the Taoist sages, that’s not something to be concerned about as reputation is also  among the things ultimately not up to us. The Taosts, however, don’t say you shouldn’t  pursue anything or give things your best shot or that you should neglect yourself.

The Lieh Tzu  posits that although chasing riches can injure you, poverty can also hurt you. But clinging  to outcomes causes suffering. The Lieh Tzu’s viewpoint is this: people who manage to accept  destiny and detach from outcomes will be calm and at peace in the face of adversity.

Moreover, and this is my own addition, being okay with being a ‘loser’ means letting  go of the fear of failure and the fear of not conforming to societal ideals—fears that may  be stopping you from truly being yourself. So, what do you think? Are the Taoist sages wise  in their approach of success and failure?

Or do they, perhaps, cowardly resign, embracing  passivity disguised as wisdom? Let us know in the comments. Thank you for watching.