One Of The Best Advice For Salah From Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan

those of you that are struggling with praying or you don't feel like praying and your mom's nagging You And telling you “Come on get up pray. You're on vacation. What excuse do you have?

Let's go to the Masjid. ” and you're dragging your feet and you're like “Come on get off my case already. This is annoying.

” And even when you're praying you're rolling your eyes after you say “‏الله اكبر” you are like This is what you're doing. Your parents Let me talk to the parents for a second, if you forced your children to pray or you pressure them and nag them into praying and they somehow prayed and they are 13-15 years old, You might feel better but they don't and this religion is actually not about what is happening on the outside the essence of this religion is what is happening on the inside. So just because you see a behaviour that you would like to see that actually doesn't mean that we have accomplished something good with our children.

That's in a sense it's good but it's artificial. It's on the outside. It's like a tree like a beautiful tree but it's hollow on the inside.

Allah describes the core of this religion as أَصْلُهَا ثَابِتٌ وَفَرْعُهَا فِيالسَّمَاءِ [14:24] it's essence is like a tree like the roots are deep and firm and then its branches go into the sky. When any human being is lazy about praying and I am not talking about 3 or 4 year olds and I am not talking about 6 year olds. I am talking about children that are now cognitive, they can ask intelligent questions, they are smart, You guys can The dad and the son or the daughter can play the same level video game.

They can watch the same TV shows. They're at an ability where they can comprehend things at a higher level. They have some of the same interest that you have.

If you're watching a game on TV, they're watching it with you. Right so they’re not At some things they're at the same intellectual capacity as you. Of course they're children, their brains haven't fully developed yet but they're still lesser but at some level, they have become intelligent human beings and they are now demonstrating their ability to make their own choices and to think for themselves and to ask intelligent questions.

So, for those of you young men and women that are sitting in the audience and I'm not going to call you children I'll call you young men and women. let me Just pretend that your dad is talking to you or your mom is talking to you in this khutbah. I'm going to pretend I'm talking to my own kid when I'm giving this khutbah.

And I'm not on a ممبر. I'm sitting at home just having a chat with my child and how do I tell them to pray? The first thing I want to start by saying is “There was a time my dear that I didn't know you, and you were not relevant to me, you didn't exist I didn't care about you never thought about you.

You were nothing to me. لَمْ يَكُنْ شَيْئًا مَذْكُورًا [76:01] Quran says there was a time in the life of a human being where he was not remembered at all. And including me I didn't remember you I didn't know what your name was going to be I didn't love you at all because you were zero to me.

Nothing to me. But then all of a sudden you came in my life and even when I found out that your mom is going to give you birth while she was holding you in her belly even the mom I used to wonder what you're going to be like but I had no idea. I had no clue.

Part of me was scared you'd be like me. But I had no idea what you would be like. And even as you were growing up was when you were a baby I still didn't really know you.

I knew that you need to be fed and sometimes you smell really bad. Other than that I didn't know much about you. I had to clean you and feed you but I didn't know much about you and now that you're you're growing up and we can talk and communicate now and you're going to school and we live in the same house I just Want you to know that this relationship wasn't always there.

And I also want you to know that this relationship will not always be there. We have very little time together. We don't have a lot of time together.

And very soon you are going to become an adult. You are on the way to becoming an adult. It's not very far away.

In fact, when you were a baby till now feels like a month. Like blinked my eyes and you became this thing. And before you know it, you're going to be an adult, you're going to go to university, you're going to get a job, you're going to get married, all these things are going to happen inshallah.

If Allah wills. And when that happens, it's not going to be like this. You're not going to come home to me.

You're not going to spend time with me. You're going to have your job, your family, your wife, your husband, whatever. You're going to have your own life.

So the time that we do have together is very limited and even in that time you've got school, I've got work, got groceries to do, so we have like 20 minutes in a day where we can actually have a conversation. We have very little time actually together and when you get older the thing you will remember about me are those few moments we have together because we don't have twenty-four hours together. We just don't.

So now the first thing I want you to know is that I barely know you. I know we live together but I barely know you. You know why because no human being can truly know another human being you don't tell me everything you are thinking and I don't tell you everything that I'm thinking.

But there is someone who knew you even when you were nothing to me and someone who loved you even when nothing in this creation loved you. Noone in this creation loved you. And someone who will have a relationship with you even though my relationship with you is going to change.

Many of the adults sitting here even me as a dad I know my relationship with my dad when I was a kid was different and my relationship with him when I was in college was different and my relationship with him now is completely different. Even though we are the same people our relationship is completely changed. But there is someone who has loved you and has protected you and has planned for you, and has taken care of you from the beginning.

And will always do so and that's not me. I'm just an episode in your life. I'm not more than that.

It's a beautiful episode that Allah gave you and me together but it's not a permanent episode. That's the first thing I want you to know. The second thing I want you to know is when I tell you to pray or tell you to do something you feel like I'm controlling you.

I'm bossing you round, I'm telling you what to do. I want you to know something. I can't control you.

I can give you advice. I can be strict with you sometimes. That's true.

But pretty soon you're going to get old enough where no matter how hard I yell and no matter how much I raise my voice and how frustrated I get, it won't matter because you are going to make your own choices. You are going to say “Okay dad, I'll talk to you later. Okay, I gotta go.

I got another call . ” And you're just going to hang up on me and you going to do your own thing. And in fact Most of the time I will not have any control over the choices you make.

In fact, when you're at school and you're hanging out with your friends and you're talking to your friends, I don't control any of those conversations. And if I have already given you an iPad or a phone or whatever and you're communicating with your friends, I have no control over the kinds of communications you're having and even if I put parenting control apps on these devices, I still can't control what you're really thinking and what you're really doing. I can have control but I have very limited control but there is someone who controlled every cell in your body who controlled the microscopic fluid that you were that made it inside the womb of your mother that controlled the genetic sequence with which you would be created the color of your skin the way your hair looks your eyes the way your mind works how tall and short you were going to be.

He controlled everything He actually has control I don't. I'm reminded of something the prophet ﷺ told his daughter Fatima ‏رضي الله عنها he said “يا فاطمة بنت محمد إتقي الله فإني لا أملك لك من الله شئ ” Fatima daughter of Muhammad be mindful of Allah I will have no authority with Allah in your case. Which brings me to my next point.

Because I don't have control. The truth is as protective as I am of you and I want you to do good. I don't control that and I'm not responsible for it either.

Allah made every human being responsible for themselves. You see that if If you become get a driver's license one day and you cut a traffic light and the cop pulls you over, you're not going to say “Can you talk to my dad? ” You're going to have to deal with that yourself.

When you're university professor is going to fail you in the class, you're going to say “Hold on let me call my mom. ” Nope you're responsible yourself. In the court of law, you are responsible yourself.

At the university, you are responsible for yourself. At your job, you are responsible for yourself. For your health, what you put in your body, you are responsible for yourself.

For putting yourself in danger and hurting yourself, you are responsible for yourself. The older you are getting the more freedom you have, the more responsible for yourself you are, you cannot be controlled by anyone and noone else is responsible for you لَا تَزِرُ وَازِرَةٌ وِزْرَ أُخْرَىٰ [06:164] That is nobody will carry anybody else's burden. I am actually not responsible for you Because Allah will and on judgement day Absolutely everyone of us will come in front of Allah alone.

Right now we're together we live together we are a family we hug each other I love you to death I think about you all the time but there is a day coming where we are going to be just as alone as we ever were in our existence in fact even if you come running to me at judgement day it could happen that I'm going to run away from you “I don't know you get away from me I got my own issues right now. ” Because my relationship with you was these few micro seconds compared to my relationship with Allah which is a much bigger relationship. It's a lot older and it's going to last a lot longer.

And I have to deal with that relationship right now on judgement day. So this relationship يَوْمَ يَفِرُّ الْمَرْءُ مِنْ أَخِيهِ وَأُمِّهِ وَأَبِيهِ [35-80:34] and all those Ayat a person will run from his mother, his father, his children, his siblings, his spouse. Some of you say “Running from the spouse I already do that.

” Anyway. So the next thing I want you to know is that I need to feel that you respect me. I need to feel that you love me.

Just like you need to feel like I care about you. When you love someone you kind of have some needs from them. You need for me to make sure that the house is taken care of.

You need to make sure My responsibility, you need for me that the electricity bills are paid and the heating is working and you need for me to make sure that you can get to school. You need to make sure for me to make sure that you're you have clothes. Those are my responsibilities.

And I need to make sure that I feel some respect from you and regard from you and obedience from you. I get that. But the relationship you have with Allah is different.

You have a lot of needs from him. He has no needs from you. He doesn't need you at all.

Actually. He doesn't need anyone or anything. And let's just talk about you when you say “Why do I need to pray?

Why does Allah need me to pray? ” Allah doesn't need for you to do anything. It's not about Him at all.

Allah even says when nothing will remain. Let me just give you an example from the Quran “When nothing will remain in this universe. ” Let's talk about the glory of Allah for a second.

Recently I was in Qatar during the World Cup. And the team that wins So Argentina wins. And it's a glorious event.

And they're being celebrated as champions. But imagine if they were the athlete was being celebrated but there was no crowd, no cameras no stadium nothing. A guy lives on on his own on an island and he kicks a goal into kicks a ball into a goal and says “Yes glory.

” And nobody is there. That sounds psychotic doesn't it to have glory you need to have an audience. To be acknowledged You need to have people around somebody to be acknowledge to have praise to have appreciation.

You can't have appreciation by yourself you got to have someone doing it for you. But Allah says كُلُّ مَنْ عَلَيْهَافَانٍ وَيَبْقَىٰ وَجْهُ رَبِّكَ ذُو الْجَلَالِ وَالْإِكْرَامِ [27-55:26] He says everything will stop existing. On this earth.

And yet the face of your ‏رب will remain and it will still possess glory. Allah is the only one who is glorious even when there is noone glorifying him. Only one.

Anybody else need somebody else to do it. So Allah does not need my prayers. Allah doesn't need me to eat halal chicken.

Allah doesn't need me to not say bad things. He doesn't need any of that from me. So just get that thought out of your head that somehow you are doing anybody a favour.

Allah even says يَمُنُّونَ عَلَيْكَ أَنْ أَسْلَمُوا [49:17] they think they are doing you a favour by accepting Islam You know, Allah says لَا تَمُنُّوا عَلَيَّ إِسْلَامَكُمْ [49:17] Don't tell me that you are doing me a favour with your Islam. بَلِ اللَّهُ يَمُنُّ عَلَيْكُمْ Allah is the one doing you a favour. Now the next thing, Why does someone not pray?

I'm not talking about you my dear son or my daughter. I'm not talking about you but let's just ask the question “Why does someone not pray? ” There could be lots of answers.

But Allah has his own answer to that question. It's a pretty scary answer. It's an answer I read in the beginning of this khutbah He said فَلَا صَدَّقَ وَلَا صَلَّىٰ وَلَٰكِنْ كَذَّبَ وَتَوَلَّىٰ [32-75:31] “He didn't actually accept the truth.

And nor did he pray. ” Allah says He was talking about disbelievers and He said two things Didn’t accepted “This person doesn't accept the truth and he doesn't pray. ” Interesting.

So if you say “If he didn't accept the truth. ” I would expect Him to say “ لاصدق ولا آمن right but He says لَا صَلَّىٰ what that means is something is missing in you accepting the truth about Allah “No, no, no. ” The child says “I believe in Allah I'm Muslim.

” Yeah you are Muslim here You are Muslim in your head but this truth isn't just for your head this truth is also for your heart. something is You're not feeling how true this is yet. You're not feeling how serious this is yet.

You don't realize what it is. Sometimes you know something but you don't think about it. It's true.

You know something, you don't think about it. And so, because that's missing, that's why it becomes easy for me to miss prayer sometimes and you to miss prayer sometimes. That will happen because our heart becomes a little distracted.

And that truth of this deen, the truth of who Allah is that truth goes in a shelf in the back of our mind and we get distracted and don't think about it. That's what Allah is saying. So, Allah doesn't need you to pray.

And even if you prayed because I'm telling you to, what are you going to do? i am praying How you going to make the intention. “I'm praying for raka’h Because my dad won't get off my case الله أكبر” Allah even told us the prophet (x) told us actions have no value unless they have the right intentions “إنما الأعمال بالنيات” so even if you did this action but your intention was I'm annoying that's your intention then it benefits me in no way and it will benefit you in no way the only one that can benefit from your actual sincere prayer is you.

Now okay fine that's the answer to the question, why would someone not pray? Two more things to talk to you about. One of them is what's the purpose of praying?

Like what's the point? Because you might think the purpose of praying is so you don't burn in hell. The purpose of prayer is because if you don't pray, Allah is going to hate you.

The purpose of prayer is if you don't pray, you are just going to get punished. Or you won't even be a Muslim anymore. The angels will curse you and all this negative stuff.

Allah didn't mention those purposes. The purpose of Prayer is not not to get away from something negative. The purpose of prayer is to run towards something positive.

That's the purpose of prayer. Do you know the difference between the student who is studying so they don't fail and the student who is studying because they love the subject. One student is studying because of something positive.

The other student is studying because they are trying to escape something negative. An employee who loves their work. An employee who just doesn't want to get fired.

Their Doing the same exact job. Same exact job but one of them is so happy. So filled with joy and one of them is so depressed and so miserable.

Why? Because one of them is doing this to escape something negative. And the other one is doing it to go towards something positive.

Allah in the Quran when he told us about the prayer and why we should pray. What's the point of the prayer? He said “He told Musa (5) this when he met him He said وَأَقِمِ الصَّلَاةَ لِذِكْرِي [20:14]” make sure you maintain the prayer so that you can remember me.

Maintain the prayer so you can remember me. I told you already, my relationship with you is very limited. But your relationship with Allah started a long time before you even came in this world.

And your relationship will continue with him a long time after you even leave this world. And that relationship is worth remembering because every good thing that comes to you comes from that relationship. Some good things come because I'm your dad.

Some good things. But all the good things that come to you only come to you because of that relationship. So, if you want all the positive things to stay in your life, you must remember where all of the ‏خير comes from.

All of the ‏نعمة comes from. All of the ‏رزق comes from. All of the guidance comes from.

So, Allah says “The best way you can remember that is that you remember Allah by prayer. ” The best way to remember Allah is the prayer {وَأَقِمِ الصَّلَاةَ لِذِكْرِي} That's why should pray. and finally okay That's why you should do it.

But just because you are doing it for the right reasons, that's not Allah says that's not enough There's some benefits too. There's some good things will come your way when you truly remember Allah. When you truly remember Allah the way he wants you to and the way he wants you to is these prayers.

If you can do this, Allah says إِنَّ الصَّلَاةَ تَنْهَىٰ عَنِ الْفَحْشَاءِ وَالْمُنْكَرِ [29:45] and even in this Ayah {وَلَذِكْرُ اللَّهِ أَكْبَرُ} He says prayer has the benefit of stopping you from falling into things that are indecent because indecency is all around you and I son cannot stop you from being exposed to it. Indecency is on your device, indecency is at your school, indecency is among your friends, indecency is at a Eid party when you're going to a corner talking to your friends, indecency will be everywhere. And every time you go towards indecency your heart will get damaged.

And Allah says if you can maintain this prayer it will prevent you from falling into indecency. And once you fall into indecency then you become you know like if you're breathing in pollution at first you will cough right but if you stay long enough you just get used to it. Well indecency is like that.

When you're taking it long enough it's not that big of a deal anymore you don't feel like protecting yourself from it anymore because your immune system has gotten corrupt. And then you are ready for even more toxic behaviour even worse والمنكر things even worse things that you can do and this prayer will stop you from going down a negative path in your life. That's why you should pray now these are the reasons you should pray not because I'm telling you to pray at the end of this whole journey the decision is entirely yours because Allah might take me tomorrow Allah might take me a year from now and that relationship you and I have even if we lived 100 years we can't live longer than that.

There's a time where this is going to end but that relationship if you really want to respect and honor that relationship pray. That would be my advice to you. So this is just a small reminder to I’ll come back to the parents now a small reminder for myself and for all of us parents that the children we've been given are an ‏أمانة.

They are not something given to us so we can control them. The more we try to control them the more frustrated we become anyway. And the more I have seen this especially in families that wanted to preserve the ‏دين of their children.

The more they try to push the religion on their children with control the more those children rebelled in the strangest ways. Because the thing that Allah wants to give the opportunity you have with your children is not to make them surrender to your instructions. The opportunity you have with them is to make them think about things that only can make them think about.

Make them love things only you can make them love. Your kid loves basketball because he sees you play basketball. He loves the PlayStation because he sees dad play the PlayStation.

You can put a love in your child. Because of how you are, you can do that. And when you tell your kid “Do your homework, do your homework.

” Your kid is not going to be 40 years old and say “I love homework. ” But your kid could be 40 years old and say “I love basketball. My dad used to play all the time, loved it.

” What You love gets transferred over. What you instruct gets rejected. That's your reality.

Forget your children. That's your own reality. Some of the things you love about your dad are the things that were passed down by love and some of the things you hate about your dad are the things that he tried to shove down your throat.

That's the reality of everyone sitting here. Even if you don't say it out loud because we love our parents and we respect them but there are some things that we didn't take from them and there are some things we did. And the only things we did were the ones that were passed down by love.

And that's actually the ‏ إشارةgiven to us parents in the Ayah of Surah Al-Isra رَبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا [17:24] رَبَّيَانِي means when you تربية is used for growing a plant. You have to take care of the plant. You have to be delicate with it.

You have to nurture it. You have to provide it soft soil. You have to remove the weeds from it.

You can't yell at the plant. You can’t say “Get up already. Grow already.

” You have to let it take its time. you have to see sometimes insects come and bite some of the leaves and you have to remove the insects and you have to sometimes be a little bit harsh with it but just enough that the the the insect is removed and then you have to water it again. This is us and our kids.

And this is why we make that ‏دعاء for our parents. May Allah give our children the guidance that only He can give. Allah put ‏استقامة in their hearts that they make right choices in their lives.

May Allah make them like the ‏دعاء of Ibrahim (5) that he made for all of us al of his lineage and all of the Ummah when he said رَبِّ اجْعَلْنِي مُقِيمَ الصَّلَاةِ وَمِنْ ذُرِّيَّتِي [14:40] may my ‏رب make me someone who established the prayer and from among my children also. And may Allah give the parents here myself and all of you make us examples of loving Allah and loving the prayer so that our children fall in love with the prayer just because of the way we love the prayer.