How to NEVER FIGHT with a woman: the greatest victory requires no battle

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PsycHacks
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Video Transcript:
I'm Dr Orion taban and this is psyx Better Living Through psychology and the topic of today's short talk is how to never fight with a woman it has been many years since I last fought with a woman gentleman and I very much intend to keep it that way my friends there is absolutely no point in fighting with a woman for the simple reason that you cannot win because of the emotional nature of most women when you lose you lose and when you win you still lose when it comes to fighting with a woman the only
winning move is not to play much like sunu counil thousands of years ago the greatest Victory is that which requires no battle and this is a worthwhile goal because let me tell you gentlemen my life has been so much more peaceful so much more loving and so much more enjoyable since I figured out how to do this and I'm here to share my secrets with you today if I can do it you can do it too this may go without saying but enjoying a conflict free relationship with a woman starts with appropriate selection at this
stage of my life I now believe that 90% of a successful relationship is choosing the right person as I've discussed previously you can't have any relationship with anyone what does this mean well in the context of this discussion it means that you cannot have a peaceful and easygoing relationship with a woman who is disagreeable or provocative or addicted to drama or unable to regulate her own emotions Etc it's just not possible and you may need to examine yourselves just like I did to determine why it is you may be actively working to keep such women
in your lives now the bad news is that there are a lot of such women out there especially when we're talking about younger women however the good news is that these women tell on themselves all the time they're actually pretty easy to identify fairly early in the courtship process and once you do just stop pursuing her let that plate fall as I've previously discussed dating is an extended hiring process imagine you were interviewing a woman for a job who was difficult and argumentative in the very first meeting a worthwhile company with plenty of interested applicants
would have no problem wishing her all the best with her search you need to get comfortable doing the same and the pathway to doing so is cultivating optionality until you get to this point gentlemen you're probably thinking with the wrong head and you will continue to suffer until you bring that thought process a little higher so a big part of the solution here is to refrain from becoming emotionally entangled L with a woman until you've determined that she is someone with whom you can have a peaceful conflict-free relationship so let's assume you've already done that
like the wise high value man that you are does this mean that it's all smooth sailing not necessarily however what I'd like you to consider is that whether you fight with a woman might have more to do with you than you might realize just like women can be disrespectful to men without realizing it and as I've said it's their responsibility to stay on the sunny side of the unbreakable rule men can be antagonistic without realizing it and it's your responsibility to clarify your tone when speaking with a woman I'm using the word clarify in the
sense of clean up just like I've advised women to remove every disrespectful word tone and gesture from their communication with men I'm advising you men to remove every hint of annoyance or aggravation or judgment or really any negative emotion from your communication with women let me explain one way to think about women is that they are incubators whatever you give them they will magnify and reflect magnify and reflect that's feminine nature give them one tiny little sperm and 9 months later they will give you back a whole human being to my knowledge in every culture
that has existed on this planet the Moon is feminine and the Sun is masculine and why is the Moon bright she shines through the reflected light of the Sun the quality of the Moonlight is almost entirely determined by the quality of the sunlight do you understand if the sun gives off good light then the sun is much more likely to enjoy that good light when it is reflected back at it of course this isn't entirely up to the sun because the Moon is always shifting through its cycle but this is the sun's best possible move
the idea here is to remove every word tone or gesture that could be construed as judgmental condescending contemptuous or Ang angry from your communication with women why because if you give a woman even a hint of irritation she's going to magnify that into aggravation and reflect it back at you and if you give her aggravation in return she's going to magnify that into exasperation and reflect that back to you and before you know it you're off to the races in any case my point is that the Genesis of the conflict can often be traced back
to some tiny little trace of negative emotion in your tone of voice now before I go any further if you're liking what you're hearing please consider sending this episode to someone who might benefit from its message because it's Word of Mouth referrals like this that really help to make the channel grow you can also hit the thanks button and tip me in proportion to the value you feel you've derived from this episode I really depend on your support I don't do a bunch of corporate sponsorships or product placements so this is how I keep the
lights on I really appreciate it the more I get the more I can devote to the channel thank you now at this point you might be saying to yourself this is Orion does having some tiny little trace of a negative emotion in my tone justify a woman flying off the handle why does she have to make such a big deal out of something so small are you taking the woman's side here to this I would respond I hear you my dude for a long long time I thought as you did and what I have since
real realized is that as difficult as it is it's actually easier to remove every trace of negative emotion from my voice then it is to convince a woman that her emotional response is disproportionate to the situation that just doesn't work and I'm nothing if not a pragmatist I want what works what is effective believing that women shouldn't make a big deal out of something so small is at odds with the feminine principle of magnify and reflect and when I accept that this principle might be true a lot of feminine Behavior makes sense which is a
pretty good test of a theory also I'm on the side of peace and higher understanding a lot of women have a bunch of nonsense in their heads which makes relationships with them difficult if not impossible but that doesn't mean that we men have perfect clarity either clarifying our tone helps us take care of our side of the street now removing all traces of negativity from your tone is actually pretty difficult it will take some time to accomplish basically because you have to learn to be perpetually mindful mindful of your words mindful of your emotions mindful
of your expressions and this ultimately requires you to be mindful of your thoughts as your thoughts are the Upstream source of all the other behaviors as you do this you will likely to appreciate that you may be expressing negativity especially judgmentalism more often than you imagine you may even have been doing it unconsciously and unintentionally in any case you will likely feel better in your own subjectivity when you start to clarify your thinking as well you're the one who's actually in direct contact with those negative emotions anyway wouldn't you prefer not to feel annoyed or
aggravated or judgmental so what does this mean does this mean that you can never disagree with a woman or correct her when she's wrong or check her when she's out of bounds absolutely not but might you need to find ways to disagree correct or check without expressing irritation contempt or negative judgment absolutely now the flip side of this is that sometimes men can take this advice too far paradoxically the other way that men can unwittingly provoke arguments with their women is by removing all the emotion from their communication and this is because removing all the
emotion from your voice can actually be pretty scary to a woman it's like she can't feel you there with her in that moment and that will likely Spike her insecurity which as I discussed in why women pick fights is one of the primary reasons women can be provocative themselves removing emotion from their voices is actually a failing of intersex understanding let me briefly explain emotion is generally provocative I mean one of its main uses is to motivate emotion to create motion so when men have a problem with other men and we're not looking to escalate
the situation any further as a rule of thumb we're going to take all the emotion out of our voices we're GNA talk nice and slow and we're going to be very calm and we're going to resolve this issue with rational discussion you see what I did with my tone of voice there men what you have to understand is that women pay much more attention to tone than we do if you take all the emotion out of your voice what does she [Music] hear does that sound warm and loving does that sound like you're on the
same team not really and that's going to provoke her anxiety and insecurity because suddenly she feels as though the basis of the relationship is being threatened and this in turn may lead to her escalating the situation in a counterproductive attempt to reassure herself that you are still emotionally invested in her so you want to remove all hints of negative emotion from your tone but you don't want to remove all emotion entirely just listen to how I'm talking now the goal is to imbue your words with like an undifferentiated warmth and let me tell you if
you have warmth in your voice and a little twinkle in your eye you can say pretty much anything you want to a woman and she will listen to you without being reactive ideally she'll even join with you and you can laugh together at whatever Ridiculousness she was on about now so what do you think does this fit with your own experience let me know in the comments below and if you've gotten this far you might as well like this episode And subscribe to this channel you may also consider becoming a channel member with perks like
the priority review of comments or booking a paid consultation as always thank you for listening
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