Millionaire REVEALS: How to Get RICH! Alex Hormozi

everyone wants you to do well but just not better than them and so the people that will continue to root for you tend to be above you the closer people are to you when you're at your bottom the more they'll work for you at the bottom but as you pass them you remind them of the dreams that they gave up on whenever someone disapproves of my current activities I'd say like to be clear you would prefer I live my life the way you want to live my life okay I don't and you have absolute autonomy

to live your life the way you want to live it I would prefer to build a life that the respite from my life is of the highlight you don't build confidence by shouting affirmations in the mirror but by giving yourself a stack of undeniable proof that you are who you say you are out work yourself out and so I wholeheartedly reject the notion that you can beat your chest and have Charisma because I believe that confidence without evidence is delusion I think I first had you on you're around 60 or maybe $80 million in Assets

Now closer to 200 million range massive success you've grown your audience so big what has changed in you around mindset Behavior or confidence to help you unlock this next next level in the last year you I would definitely say it comes down to I think you got to have a dream the school of greatness really yeah please welcome Le how welcome back everyone at the school of greatness very excited about our guest we have the inspiring Alex heroi in the house good to see you the man who builds buys and sells massive companies worth over

200 million in your assets now acquisition. comom and you have built a 5 million person following in less than two years and you had one of the biggest online events recently which I want to talk about in a moment but first off you're known for making money you're known for developing incredible habits you're known for having a chiseled physique and you're known for working extremely hard to get what you want in business and in life but we were talking about before about behaviors habits and mindsets what do you think is it within you that is

allowed you to get to where you're at so quickly and obviously there's a backstory and a background we've talked about before where it was more than a decade of building yourself but really in the last couple years you've exploded without being on a big Netflix show without having a celebrity movie come out without being a celebrity you've exploded with Celebrity Status is it a mindset is it confidence is it behaviors what is it that has allowed you to get there you know I would definitely say it comes down to skills um and if we're just

defining skills as things that you do when introduced to some sort of external stimulus that gets them an outcome and I think simplifying a lot of the woow woo around mindset performance confidence like all of that stuff if you can boil it down to at the end of the day even identity right all it is is a list of behaviors that we do and so I used to think earlier on when I would even explain to entrepreneurs like when I was looking at entrepreneurs we had a matrix for how we would kind of like score

them so you've got you've got beliefs that will limit entrepreneurs you've got traits that will limit entrepreneurs and then you have skills and that was my kind of that was my framework for a very long time and then I um had a very long discussion with Dr cashy my closest friend and he was like I really want to challenge you on this I was like okay he said can you teach someone a trait I was like what do you mean he's like well let's say someone's uh loyal right okay you want to teach loyalty that's

a trait loyalty is an amorphous word but has like a lot of laundry list of many skills underneath of it which is okay when you go out with your friends and a girl comes up to the group of friends and let's say you're married whatever ever in that instance and she says can I buy you a drink you say no do you think I can train someone to do that I was like yeah I think you could train someone to do that it's like okay now take every other line item underneath of loyalty that would

be examples of loyalty those are behaviors that can be trained which means that loyalty is a skill I was like huh and he was like now let's push on beliefs right well beliefs it's like okay A belief means you you see a certain way the world is and then you behave a certain way as a result which is still stimulus response which means that you can train someone to respond based on a stimulus and so that really simplifies a lot of performance success Etc to Simply like what do I need to do when this condition

is presented and then you get out of the like how are my emotions feeling and I need to think positively and all of these things into simply like you can be as negative as you want you can be as fearful as you want you can be as angry as you want you can be as ashamed as you want if you still post this amazing piece of content in any of those emotional states it will still perform the same and so it's just that like the doing has to get done right no matter what and that's

the only thing that moves the ball forward and I think a lot of it is been able is is cutting out a lot of the fluff and the noise that is very loud in the marketplace of the hundred things you all have to do in order to be successful when I know just like you do a ton of incredibly suc successful entrepreneurs and their habits are actually incredibly varied some are night owls some are morning people some work all the time some only like to work a couple hours a week some are huge and realistic

you know like there's the some are super healthy and health obsessed and others you know are warm buff it drinking Coke and eating in McDonald's so whenever there's these rules that people like to put on and everyone wants to have these rules because they want to think okay if I do what Warren Buffett does then I'll get what Warren Gets but what they do is I think they emulate the wrong part of Warren Buffett and so should they be emulating you have to look back in time and I think that's one of the things people

model the plateau not the not the rise and so it's like uh you know we have a bunch of buddies Mutual that have exited companies for hundreds of millions of dollars and then they get like really obsessed with their health and they have these massive morning routines and they just get upset you all these supplements and red lights on us and and ice ice lues and whatever right right and and so what ends up happening is everyone who's watching says oh this person's successful this is what they do I should do that but they what

what got them there is not what they're doing now right so it's like you want to model the rise and so a lot of times the rise is a lot of imbalance it's not always healthy On The Rise no I would even getting out of like defining Health right but like I would say that there's there're absolute trade-offs and it's just whether or not you're willing to pay the price for it and I think then we we can we can take off the label of like this is good this is bad this is healthy this

is unhealthy and just simply say like if the Nikes that you want on the wall are $500 that is the price you can just choose to pay it or not not but if you choose to pay the $500 for the Nikes you don't then say this was unhealthy or this was bad or you label it you just make the trade and I think that that's where a lot of people spend all this time analyzing themselves like feeling about their feelings thinking about their thoughts rather than just executing like one of the best morning routines I

can I can recommend to any person on earth is that you wake up and you decrease the time between when you wake up and when you start working like I I need 90 minutes before I can really it's like if you're looking for those types of financial results totally yeah yeah if you want more of a balanced life and you love your morning routine to be chill and relaxed do you then know you're going to get totally the the results that what you put in there yeah do you think it's possible to get extremely wealthy

or amass a large sums of wealth by having a lazy mindset I really like this question I don't know if it's where where you were wanting me to go but I do like the question a lot um so I yes for probably a different reason that people might expect so I actually think in some ways the lazier you are if you can get over the initial hump the more successful you can be because what happens is if you give a hardworking person a problem they give you a hardworking solution if you give a lazy person

a problem they'll give you a lazy man solution what's the easiest way to do this right and a lot of times some of the best problems in the world get solved by deciding they're not problems what do you mean it's like uh let's say let's say Lela says you know babe and I don't like being called babe right now I could I could have a huge discussion about this and this is our plan so we can you know get you out of saying this because it makes me feel this way it reminds me of my

mom whatever right or you just let it go or I decide that it's not a problem and it's way faster to solve problems that way by deciding they're not problems to be in with interesting and um and so with from the lazy the lazy men's perspective I I'm a big believer in working smarter not harder with the massive caveat that you have to work incredibly hard to get smart so what do you mean by that you have to have a massive amount of skills you have to overcome your limiting beliefs you've got to get more

knowledge take more classes develop yourself build more confidence let go of these St challenges in order to get to that level yeah we all have to pay down the most expensive debt that we all pay every day which is the debt of not knowing ignorance debt and like every single I mean I love this uh this close that I saw at a presentation years ago and I just it's just so good so man's looking out the audience and he's got this whiteboard he writes a million dollars across the top and then he says ma'am how

much do you make and she says $50,000 so he writes $50,000 underneath the million and then he subtracts it and it says $950,000 he looks at he says every single year he said you pay life $950,000 for not knowing how to make a million dollars and so the question is like how much is it how much is that skill worth the difference that's what it's worth right whatever that difference is and however long it takes and so every and like it's one of the haunting thoughts that I have of like man why am I not

making a billion dollars a year it's like because right now I'm paying $800 million a year in ignorance tax for not knowing how to make a billion right or to be fair or relationship tax or IGN tax or whatever right yeah timing tax it could be a timing thing it could be you know are you in the right industry thing whatever it might be and you got to I mean obviously this is for people that you know you don't have to be a billionaire or make a million yeah it's like okay do I want to

be at 100,000 do I want to be at 70,000 do I want to be at 350 or whatever it is first off why do you want to be there why is it important for you and are you willing to pay the price to be there if not then it's okay live your life yeah you I was just you won you're not you're not obsessing over something I was just watching the show alone I don't know if you ever watched this show it's fascinating it's about people that live alone in Wilderness and they have to survive

okay it's on a History Channel I think it's actually incredible I'm like I could last maybe 3 days you know it's like as long as my fat was survive me uh it's like CU they're in Alaska it's the winter you got to do the whole thing right and you're only allowed 10 items oh so you have to choose your items wisely to be able to survive the longest you can in the wilderness and um after like 50 days there's like three people left I think it starts with 10 or 20 right and all these people

leave they tap out okay and they leave and after the 50th day the people are like man you've got to they start you start to hear their mindset unravel as it gets harder and harder yeah and you have to ask they have to ask themselves why am I doing this why why do I care now there's a $500,000 prize at the end for the winner but you start to hear them say like I really don't need that much yeah like I'm pretty happy like it's just my girlfriend or like my dog or like you know

living on the land like I don't need a fancy big home I don't need this nice car I don't need to impress people um in a certain way like I'm happy with where I'm at and here's what I do need and this is going to bring me joy yeah but for the people that why do you think people are so obsessed with making more money though and becoming a millionaire or becoming aund millionaire or a billionaire why do people even think about it or are focused on that the whys are tough um because I can

never have insight into why other people do things rather than that they do them um but I would say that it seems like at least I would say more men than women are money focused and that is probably because more women than men are finding are attracted to mates who have resources and I love this quote by idra Alba he said um men fall in love with what they see women fall in love with what they hear which is why women will always wear makeup and men will always lie oh man I just like love

the quote because it's like it just it just I think speaks to the heart of you know how men and women at least socially uh measure status which is kind of the second piece which is people don't really want money especially at the highest levels of the game it's not about money at all it's about status cuz I mean you can only you can only it's only chicken and rice even at the highest levels like you can only eat so much food you can't eat gold you can't eat diamonds and after a certain point you

can only consume so much so then money's only purpose is to go make more money so that you can do what make more money right people care more about status influence or power with money always that a like do they which one yeah do people care more about do you think having status yeah having influence or having power I think depends on the person honestly um I mean there's definitely from everything that at least my beliefs around the world I think there are people definitely who prefer to be behind the scenes and moving things making

the world the way they want it to be and then there are other people who prefer to have uh and that's also huge influence it's just one is uh credit with the influence and sometimes it's credit without the influence um or the or the the reverse and so I don't know if I can answer for for all of those people but I think the motivations for making money can be diverse but I think if I had if I had to generalized with the the broadest brushstroke I would say for men specifically we get more status

and we have more money do you think that's what men are chasing more as a status to of it really yeah if women all of a sudden only want if they if the hotness of the girl was directly correlated with how in shape the guy was there' be way more in shape guys right I mean let's let's let's flip the script because we actually have some evidence on this so like if you look at gay men in general men who are attracted to men uh the gay population I would say has the uh stigma and

I say this a positive whatever a positive stigma is of being more in shape than straight guys really yeah oh my God there's way more like tons of super and shaped gay guys because men look they they fall in love with what they see and they're both they're both physically fit they both and so they're both men and so gay men will be have to be or try to be in better shape i' would say on average than straight men right because the person they're trying to attract has a different Honey Trap you can be

a fat slob and if you're a billionaire you're going to get whatever girl you want un necessarily whatever girl we want but you will get a girl that you could probably still brag about right right right we're speaking in generalizations but this is overall is what you're you're seeing here yeah why do you think people are what do you think is keeping people trapped in staying average in their life or not wanting to go beyond where they're currently at is it confidence behavior skills identity beliefs what you know combination what keeps people trapped in being

average I think if you were to ask them many of them would say something to the extent of I'm afraid of failing if you like peeled it back but I actually think that's false I don't think anyone's afraid of failing I think everyone's afraid of other people seeing themselves fail and getting judged for it and that's what keep people trapped right because what it is is a loss of status right they're afraid of a loss of status and you have a GU you there's like there's short-term pain that you have to go through when you

do anything new unless you're immediately successful which almost no one is you usually have to take a step back in order to take two three 10 steps forward right like if you have a high-paying job so I was a consultant for example and I had all the status for somebody at my age uh working at a you know big firm graduating three years I had all that stuff um but then when I quit that to start basically being a personal trainer at a gym that was a big decrease in status in terms of my like

relative standing compared to my peers cuz now you starting something new you have to break into an industry now you don't have credibility and relationships you have to sell yourself all over again as a beginner yeah it's hard yeah and I remember when I would have uh women come to the gym be like did you go to college and I was like I mean I graduate magn from vandero yeah you know what I mean but like I remember thinking wow this doesn't matter at all it doesn't matter doesn't matter at all and so I was

uh really well equipped for not what I was doing so overqualified yeah and underqualified at the same time right for the actual job and so it there's a there's a big pill of humility that I think a lot of people aren willing to take because it hurts to drop in status like you know like oh you'll get there man like Hey we're rooting for you you know and it's it's it's inter because um I remember the early days of the gym when I was like sleeping on the floor um a lot of my clients were

like good for you chasing your dream you know all that stuff like really rooting for me and um you know within 9 or 12 months I had hired some people and I had a manager and I was able to not literally live at the gym sleep there um I remember pulled up one day and I walked in and like four or five ladies who've been there for a while were like ah Bossman here like I thought you're too good for us and um they were saying it in just but I knew that there was like

a hair of truth to it and that was when I realized the truism like everyone wants you to do well but just not better than them and so the people that will continue to root for you tend to be above you and as you pass people cuz hate only comes from below like no one above you is hating on you because they're not thinking about you because winners focus on the goal losers focus on winners and so hard it's hard to be it's hard to be a Creator and a Critic at the same time you

don't see other authors leaving negative reviews for people's books on Amazon they're not going there and saying this is the worst book ever written or you're regurgitating everything or whatever it is they're too focused on creating something and and putting their art out and they in the world it's the critics who are unwilling to try on the sidelines right that's the challenge thing so when you were saying there is when you were kind of living in the gym building yourself up and not successful you had more people rooting for you then once you started to

surpass a certain level a group then they started to say okay you're you're too good for us now and so it's interesed so I like I think about this stuff a lot but the closer people are to you when you're at your bottom the more they'll work for you at the bottom but as you pass them in whatever material thing your you know Pursuit is you remind them of the dreams this is uh some paraphrasing of a conversation I had with Chris Williamson um you remind them of the dreams that they gave up on and

so you you go from being the person who reminds them that they could go after their dreams to reminding them that they never went after them to begin with and then what happens at least this has been my experience is that you go through this period where no one from your hometown or who who knew you in the beginning approves and then what happens is absolute strangers from the internet who never saw the beginning become a bigger fan of you because they can relate to the story but because you weren't from you weren't their nextdoor

neighbor they don't feel blame for them not having achieved whatever yet because if everyone in your friend group when you're coming up they all see that like as on some level in my opinion they see that they have the exact same access to resources opportunities that you do and then for some reason they haven't done something so it's painful because I think there's some Sting of inadequacy that they probably self- judge as a result of that now to be fair plenty of people are secure and are very happy with their lives which is awesome but

I think there is definitely some people yeah who aren't as pumped about it um which then kind of gets into like to go all the way back to the very beginning we say like why don't people do the stuff that they want to do I think it's because they can't even hear their own voice because the only voice they can hear is everyone else's and they can like there's just barely a whisper and so I think like if I had to give myself a goal of what my story or Journey or trajectory has been it's

been to make my voice the loudest one that I can hear and for my approval of myself to be the one that I care the most about I think epic said something to the degree of if you need someone else to Bear witness to whatever the thing is don't you should be able to be your own witness you should have enough integrity and um belief in self I'm massively paraphrasing but he said that and I just like when I've had really tough times I um I write in this diary to myself and it's to my

85-year-old self and so okay you might really find this interesting I think your audience I do like this so there's something called the Solomon Paradox are you familiar with this explain it okay so the Solomon Paradox basically states that humans give better advice to other people than they follow themselves yes and like they've proven they they whitewash stats they even describe people's own life to themselves but change the names Etc and and then say what should this person do and what they recommend the person do differs from what the person actually does and it's because

we have some sort of emotional context of the situation and so then we can make logical decisions as a result and so we make poor decisions right so take that as data point1 we give better advice to other people than we follow to ourselves the second you know kind of issue that I've had overall is I've never I've never had a lot of success with the therapies and things like that personally a lot of the time it's because I feel like I have to one provide huge amounts of context for a single decision which becomes

you know 90% of my conversation is just trying to give context around then the session's over right exactly where we're going yeah and the third part is aligned incentives right um and I and I speak purely from a from a you know mechanistic perspective here which is that if you pay someone they want you to continue to see them 100% it just it just is what it is and you know Charlie Monger I think said people will ignore all sorts of facts if their paycheck relax on it right like he thinks the entire wealth management

industry is just complete farce and so he uses that as his example cuz he's like they're incentivized to not see that they have no value at right right right then so everyone rationalizes around that and so you've got this misaligned incentive you've got someone who doesn't have context and you've also got this idea that we can give ourselves better advice than anyone else can and so in thinking about those three things together I was like maybe I can be my own therapist but don't do it for myself today talk to my 85-year-old self and so

I actually run these chats it's my first morning meeting on Monday every week it's called Solomon time and so I talk about what's on top of mine now I also to self yeah yeah so I chat like it's like a DM chat so it's like hey this is what's going on right now and then it's future me like my hat changes and it's you know this is you know what would you you know why are you saying that like what you psychologically go into that state of a future you yeah that's beautiful and it's cool

because that version of me it's not AIU it's no just me that version of me has a completely aligned incentive he wants me to win yes more than anyone because at the end of the day like people don't want what's in your best interest they want the version of you that serves them at any level now the closer they are like your family has tremendous alignment because if you do like if you become a billionaire they all benefit probably but they've got doubts and insecurities for sure so like they they're still flaw compared to a

stranger right so it's like the closer someone gets the more natural alignment would occur where if you do well they might do well by proxy or by extension you might be able to give them a favor Etc and so that's why when you get famous um I can't remember what this quote is but like when you get famous it's actually other people I think who treat you differently because you actually have more utility because they might be able to willing to put up with stuff you're late you're you're not as responsive all these things because

if you tweet their name it changes their life because there's that chance of huge utility and so people change their behavior and so anyways with Solomon who I call my older version of myself just for Simplicity sake um he has absolute aligned uh incentives he has complete context so I don't need to explain everything he already knows everything I know right and potentially more and a longer term time Horizon and as I'm going through these exercises um you know the most common ones you know the the common responses I get is what problem are we

solving which is you know what classic old me would say uh number number two is um are you sure that's a problem which is more just a retort and recently I had a really tough uh thing that I went through and it like really D it probably the worst probably the worst day i' had in five years so until from the last time I I felt that bad was when my partner taking all the money that I had in my account after I sold all my gym so sold everything and then all the money was

straight that was like the wor that was the worst day I had in a long time so I had one recently and um and he said this line to me this is kind of what I go through when I'm trying to think through these kind of like you know you have these these Vicious Cycles where you just keep reliving a conversation or scenario and you're like I just want to shake this right even sometimes it's you have a relationship and you break up with a person and you're like I want to get over this person

whatever it is I usually need to get to this statement and once I get it it solves it it's like I just need a frame shift and I remember uh when I was getting over someone a very long time long time ago I'm married seven years now but um the statement that I needed for that situation was you you can have multiple you can only have one love of your life but you can live multiple lives I really like that I thought it was very beautiful like you don't have to you don't have to negate

a relationship or the positive because what would you want to do destroy every memory you've had except for the person that you get married to that's terrible that means that every single every moment you've had in your life before that was bad which is not I don't think that's the right way to reconstruct your memory it's like I'm different now than I was then so I've lived multiple lives and I'm sure like if I look at my life I had SE clear chapter you know I'm sure you in the NFL like just you're a different

person now yes and so it would make sense that you can have a love of your life then you can have a love of your life now and that was like as soon as I got that I was like I get it that was my frame shift and so with this particular bad scenario that happened I had worked really really hard for something like very very hard um and something had gone wrong that was outside of my Direct Control now I can still say everything is under my control to a degree and I can Lear

from that it's like a business deal went wrong or someone lost a lot of money or exactly I lost 15 million bucks um in a day yeah it was a deal so I mean you know right and so my and so Solomon just said this statement to me and he said I know everything that you did and no one else will know and I approve and my approval is enough wow period And so who approval what you're wanting in that moment right for it not to go through right other people's whatever it is and so

if the ultimate goal of my life at least as I as I say it is to become the best version of me that I can then it makes sense that to become the best version of me I have to suffer I have to go through hardships I have to fail because no one who literally wins all the time becomes you know like you don't build character through good times you build it through hard times and so it's like if I want to have strong character then I have to be willing to pay the price tag

like the $500 Nikes like the price tag for the $500 shoe of a human that I want to be is tough tough stuff and so I have put a lot of effort into only judging myself on my actions not my feelings around the actions or the outcomes and so I'll give you a micro example so I am typically a pretty impatient person I always want things no I want it yesterday of course right and I've been slowly over time people have begun to describe me as a patient person which right just as just as surprised

as I am you're like I don't know about that and um and so a big huge breakthrough for me was that I could feel impatient and still do the actions that align with patience and then be patient as a result and I think that that works with you know I mean any of this like you can feel unloving you can feel angry and still act loving and it doesn't mean you're unloving now that that that diverges from a lot of U classical religious uh thought so that's you know a lot of sin is in the

mind Etc so like I tend to reject that um because I would rather somebody uh really really be mean to me in their head and do only nice things right to pick yeah right as a bird who be mean in their head and do mean it's like that's worse but then the flip side is Would You Rather somebody like really love you and then only make your life harder that's the real one right right because a lot of times we we are that person 99% of the time we're that to ourselves and and we tell

ourselves well I had good intentions but it's like but you ended up hurting that person so what matters and we hurt ourselves more than anything and so yeah anyway so that has been my my framework that has served me really well I've heard you say a few different things so far um one of them about you know I'm coming back to the word confidence for some reason because it's a self-belief thing it's a learning how to yeah you know the fear of failure the fear of judgment which is all about it's kind of my framework

with with uh you know the greatness mindset is learning how to understand and be aware of do you fear failure success or judgment and they're all kind of intertwined in some way and what we can learn that at the root of that is I'm not enough I'm not enough and that's why I'm unwilling to take the steps forward to get what I want to pay the price so I'm going to wait I'm going to hesitate I'm going to be in friction as opposed to in flow right I'm going to not put myself out there yeah

and I get the specific reward rewards for doing that right and I and I pay a certain price and I get those certain rewards yeah how can we then build confidence if we don't understand the skill of confidence and we've never had it okay I love this so um statement that that that has gone incredibly viral um is that you don't build confidence by shouting affirmations in the mirror but by giving yourself a stack of undeniable proof that you are who you say you are outwork yourself out and so I wholeheartedly reject the notion that

you can beat your chest and have Charisma because I believe that confidence without evidence is delusion like if someone says I can build a skyscraper and they can say it as confidently as they want but if they don't know how to build a skyscraper they're not building a skyscraper and the best way to know that you can build a skyscraper is having built one before now you might be like well well what about the first skyscraper it's like well of course he didn't build a skyscraper first he probably built a half skyscraper before house an

apartment building and before that like you know a fourplex right you you build to it and it and that concept for me is what has allowed me to do well in situations where I feel like I didn't deserve to do well right like so for the the the book launch that we were talking about earlier before we got on like you know if you have 500,000 people it's a whole city right and I I truly and I people can you you watch the Vlog you like I truly wasn't nervous and it wasn't because because I'm

some Zar at presenting it was because I had done the presentation full three times a day for the 30 days leading up to it so I had done it once in my mind once out loud and recorded it and then I would watch the recording and then edit my slides wow every day every day wow and so when I got there the staff was like I've never seen I'm I'm trying I'm sharing this because it it one of the hardest things to do is have context when you don't know anyone else who's doing what you

want to be doing in your life and I'm not saying I'm the person that people were trying to emulate I'm just saying that maybe there's an element of that they can take from it which is when I got there the staff is like I've never seen anyone so calm for something so big and I was that was like shaking them I was like you're good we're good it's going to be okay it's GNA be okay and and the reason was I was like I've done this before I know how this presentation goes I can say

it backwards and so there I have to worry about what I'm going to say because I have outworked myself out and until until I felt like of course this is this is always how it is then you don't feel like what I remember I'll rewind to the first time outw workk yourself out came out in my life so I gave this presentation to a very small 50 people and a lady in the front row said you sound so certain like how do you get rid of the impostor syndrome and I had just given a presentation

on how our our sales process worked at our brick and morar gyms and I said I don't I'm not I first of I was like I don't really understand the question I was like I'm just presenting what what is I was like there's not really an opinion you can't be like Alex you didn't do that I was like I mean that is what I did like this is the exact process these are the pages these are the fob scripts this is how we schedule this how we you know everything and so there is nothing to

contest and so if I'm going to make if I want to make sure that I'm confident in a situation then let's Define confidence as the percentage likelihood that I do what I say going to do and so I said I was going to present this thing and I want to make sure that I control the controllables and so for me because Solomon is always watching because if I got up there because I do have at this point I have presented enough times that I could probably still do a good job and I think many people

would be like that was awesome and with not a lot of prep but I would know and Solomon would know and he wouldn't be proud of me and so it's the double-edged sword of like to make that man proud the bar is so high for what I have to do that his bar is higher than everyone else's and so if there are hateful comments or there whatever it's like your approval isn't the one that I'm going for right and so it Shields you because that's like that's why you have earned my approval and that is

enough wow and so like that's been my shield during that process and we can talk about the launch stuff later but there was a key moment right where like it looked like the world was burning down during the launch really oh yeah well because I was a it was a it was a faux pitch so I looked like I was doing a huge stack and you know price anchoring and adding all these bonuses and everyone's like oh my God he's a salout like it completely turned and then I gave it away for free but for

15 minutes I could see the chat this gu yeah yeah and this a sales page yeah and I I genuinely felt absolutely a piece about it because one I knew where we were going and two I had done this before and so me walking through that process is like it doesn't require confidence it appears like confidence on the outside but if everyone saw the amount of hours that went into it it would seem obvious and so I think that's the big misnomer is that people are like he's so confident either the guy is confident because

he's delusional and I mean that is in in in the truest sense like he is claiming he can do something that he has no evidence that he can do which to me would be delusional or he had lots of insecurities or concerns about his performance on XYZ and then he tried to simulate that experience as many times as he possibly could until he no longer felt afraid and so like if you want to get rid of a fear of spiders the way you do that is you lock yourself in a room with spiders and eventually

and either that makes you more terrified or eventually and eventually you acclimate right eventually and then you walk out and you're like I can deal with spiders or you're traumatized either way over a long enough time Rising you would get you'd get over it cuz you'd realize that you didn't die he yes you'd wake up from a panic attack and then you'd have another one and then you have another one and then eventually like here I am I'm still the spiders yeah I'm spider boy right you know I am Spiderman yeah it's and so that

that concept is is I think at the core and the reason that people don't like it as much is because it's not romantic because it sounds cool to hear me say that I did it three times a day for an entire month beforehand but it's not fun no and and it takes you takes so much time and energy it's not it's not enjoyable the rocky cut scene in movies last 2 minutes in real life might be 5 years that's true and so like it's really really cool to watch it for 2 minutes but when you're

on your seventh month of your B business like not really making money and you quit your job and people are judging you and people are telling you hey you know maybe let's be a little more realistic you know I think you know what if hey come where it's nice and warm and safe right like get my approval right like get my approval come down here and you're seeing other people succeed or win online right and you don't see the background right like people who see me now in the last 24 months be like oh my

God like he just came out of nowhere it's like except for the decade before that where I built multiple very large companies to gain The credibility to be able to say what I'm saying yeah and I think and the confidence yeah from evidence right like that's that's that that's like that's everything what would you rather have a unwavering confidence or a strong mindset I don't know if they're different because I think the evidence leads to the confidence and evidence gives you the strong mindset if someone comes to me and says Alex you're a short King

I was like I'm almost 6 feet tall like I'm not a short King like I don't I don't need like I'm not going to be hurt by that because I have evidence that I know that's not true right and so I think that a lot of people's feelings uh get triggered because they don't have that back stop of proof and so it's like if you want to be bulletproof give yourself evidence that you can lean on so if someone's like Alex you don't know anything about business I'd be like I totally accept that that that's

your frame here's the evidence that I have and this is what that marks down on from a percentile basis of like where I'm at versus everyone else I don't think I know more than a lot of people what if you what if you were just starting out yeah and someone was saying hey you don't know anything about business or marketing or social media or whatever relationships and you don't have evidence I would agree with them and then you just got to take the time to build the evidence they're totally right and I probably shouldn't talk

about business and marketing and all these things cuz I haven't done it and that's in my opinion the big underlying problem with the majority of the influencer world so there's the entertainers and then there's the Educators entertainers do their thing the Educators I believe that context is the thing that matters most so like for ex like um I'm trying trying to give a really kosher example here um how do I not say names here um about calling someone yeah so broad brush Strokes if an if somebody gets online and wants to talk about on their

social Med your social media and they're like hey you need to do this and add these hashtags or whatever and you see that they have 500 followers on Instagram I don't need to listen to what they're saying to know that they don't know what they're talking about right like there was a book that was called how to Market a book and had 14 reviews on Amazon it been out for four years right and I started my presentation with that for the for the book launch and I said this is what I hate is that I

don't I have evidence in the real world that nothing inside of this book works because if it did work they would have sold they would have marketed this book which they clearly didn't and so the the issue is that there's this big glaring sign above everything of the content that people are making which is the context that they're making it in and so they're trying to be a fitness expert but they don't really look like they're in shape right they want to be a marriage expert except like most people see them you know like not

I don't know if I really want that marriage right and so like the it's way easier to immediately start giving advice to people and your advice might be valid but you have no proof and proof is the hard part but proof is the only thing that matters in my opinion and especially in the court of the public like waren Buffett I don't think is's a particularly charismatic individual but if he gets up and says hey guys this is you should dollar cost average into the S&P 500 for your investing somebody might be like oh my

God his advice is so simple like my advice my Hunton so much better than Warren Buffett it's like you know what and it might be except you just forgot to build a hundred billion dollar company he's got proof and credibility context and the reason like I've thought about this a lot and I think the reason the context is so important is it actually becomes a faster and easier decision so as a consumer if I'm looking at a 100 different information sources because now information there's too much of it and so we have to segment signal

for noise right okay how can I get all this noise out so I can just hear the stuff I want well the first thing you want to do is go to a trusted source and so if this is the richest man or top five richest men in the world and he's giving you investing advice I don't actually have to take each colonal advice and weigh it and say do I agree with this do I not agree with this you can actually take it pretty close to his truth because he has so much Authority that you

think okay I will take this as it is which is less cognitive effort than listening to a teacher no offense to teachers giving investing advice who barely has a million dollar saved up and again there's nothing wrong with that but I don't think I can actually almost guarantee that your investing advice will never get as much press as Warren buffets even if your content and the production and your hashtags and all the other things are perfect you lack the one thing that matters most which is proof proof credibility and that's the part that takes 5

years or 10 years because now Ray Delio can get up here and talk and Ray you know Ray doesn't care I mean I saw I'll do I'll tell a quick story to wrap this R alio up I saw this dude on Tik Tok uh white guy older dude and he was giving Financial advice and these Tik Tok comments were just destroying him he talking about how like prepare for an economic thing whatever and so people just just Savage right the guy was R alio really because at the end of the the day everyone who doesn't

know who you are doesn't know who you are and it makes sense that they would be skeptical because many people in the past have been fakers and so to want to win in the court of public opinion especially if you're coming up even with all the proof in the world doesn't matter because they don't know yet which is why you have to know so that you can take it because you know he's worth 38 billion if they're like you don't know what you're talking about he's like bothered by this yeah I don't care about your

opinion or your approval right your opinion is irrelevant because I have yes now if he was worth $10 it would probably destroy him because they're right that's true and I think that's really what a lot of people reject the the opinion of other like if I had you know massive ears or something you know like I mean people right now they're like ah Alex is on Trend gear steroids whatever right like that's the that's you know some of the comments TR what does that mean it's just a it's a steroid okay um Tron gear yeah

like a steroid term so there's there's Captain America gear and there's Iron Man gear right Iron Man gear is a suit Captain America G and Jack oh gosh I'm like no sorry I know nothing about that I the fitness world it's so um so they're saying you're on steroids right right and the answer is like it makes sense that they would say that because I probably have more muscle than most of the people that they know and most people have lots of muscle take steroids especially the the the professionals yeah so like should I be

angry with them no it makes absolute sense that they would make that conclusion so why can I be why should I be upset by that I agree with you right I do look like a Tak thank you like would I rather them think I'm they're like oh we know he's natural like would I rather have the the r to me I'm like okay yeah and so anyways all that all that all that to say that the hard work is in accumulating the undeniable stack of evidence that you are who you say you are and the

first person you have to convince is you because if you sell you because you know what you did to get here then everyone else's opinion just doesn't matter what if you're always trying to seek the approval of someone else as well as you I think it's a trade-off over time I mean I don't want to pretend like I I don't seek approval from others I think it's um but used to you know you talked about the previous episode about you know really wanting to see the pro of your father and trying to Vanquish him eventually

right should we be seeking the approval of other people or is it more about our future self I think that the approval seeking behavior is super difficult to break in general because as children we are trained to be humans through approval right like you did well you did not like and that's how you learn how to be human to survive right exactly across the street yeah I mean like there's so many reinforcing events that that make it that I will listen to the the opinion of others you get older you find out that they don't

know what they're talking about but um I think that there's the reason that a lot of people who are like really into uh classical religions is that they just switch who they get approval from they get approval from their Heavenly Father which you might as well say that Solomon for me is my heavenly father in my own way I just you know characterize the future version of myself that is idealized and ask him he thinks I should do but fundamentally I don't know if I've necessarily gotten rid of that approval I've just shifted where I

try to get it from ah so you're not seeking from others like audiences that you don't know you're seeking from your fut yeah that's big but if you're real about it if you're really real about it then I think it's a highest bar because that guy knows whether you cut Corners that guy knows whether you could have done another rewrite of the book that guy knows if you could have just taken a a little bit more time to make this better that guy knows if you could have prep for That interview longer than you did

and so if you can earn that guy's approval then you walk into the interview completely unshaken because you already won because that guy knows what you did to get there and so then you can be Loosey Goosey right you're relaxed and not stressed about it perspective what else do you think keeps people trapped in in not reaching their potential so if we if we were to if we take the reverse of like what what guarantees someone's success right it would be that they do the things that create succcess and so I think we'd have to

boil it down to what are the obstacles to taking action so either you take the wrong actions which is a knowledge deficit which is why everyone who's listening to this it's like you want to learn right which is great and just for some fun definitions for everyone here um I Define learning as same same circumstance or same condition different Behavior meaning if if I show you a flash card that's red and then I slap you if I show you the flash card again and you duck then you have learned same condition new Behavior intelligence is

the rate of learning so how quickly do you change your behavior with the same condition so if I show someone a red flash card and then I slap them and I show them again they don't move and I slap them I show it again and I slap them like what are you right the rate of learning is not as fast and so to the same degree and this is for I know this this going to I'm going to I'm going to poke my finger in this hole real quick for everyone who's listening to this if

you continue to listen and listen and listen and listen and your conditions externally have not changed and your behaviors have not changed then it means you have learned nothing you've learned it but you haven't applied it well definition same condition the behavior if the behavior doesn't change you did not learn you spend time watching something yeah sure heard it but you haven't learned it right you learn through a change in behavior and so going back to why are why do people not change their behavior I think that there's sure there's lots of fear of punishment

from and so like you can try and take this apart as saying okay I need to increase the reward I need to decrease the punishment um that people associate with with taking action right so it's like okay the whole first part of this conversation was about decreasing the punishment associated with taking action and to a degree if you can make approval of your of yourself higher than other people then that also gives you a reward for taking action now there's also an element of ignorance which is like you might take the wrong action but I

can promise you if you're taking action you'll figure it out pretty quick yeah like that part this isn't working okay let me try this thing the the third piece is environment which is at the most mental extreme level if I'm chained to a wall right and someone says go pick up the soda over there I might have all the right skills in the world to do it but I have environmental conditions that prevent me from doing it and so it's like I don't have a fear I have a clear reward I have the skills to

do it but environmental conditions that prevent me and so one of the one of the easiest ways to change behavior is to change your environment like if if I so BF Skinner is a really famous behavioralist um and he came on the space and got a lot of flak because he had very controversial views but he has this quote that it's just like he says you know the old saying if you lead a horse to water you can the old saying is you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink he

said well if I bled the horse and I dehydrated it enough and I put the water right in front of its mouth he said I can veritably guarantee that I can make a drink and the idea there is that if you can if you can control enough of the environment you can get anyone to do anything which is to the same degree we we even kind of accept this culturally as like if someone kills somebody we say was there temporary insanity what were the extraneous conditions that created this Behavior now if there's like he you

know he came home from the military and his wife was in bed with somebody and he just went into a fit of rage well that was a condition now we then say the guy who you know premeditated in that that's a bad guy then you you you zoom out a little bit more and you're like well what conditions created that behavior so these conditions are excusable and these conditions aren't which gets into a whole different argument but the point is is that if you want to change your behavior the strongest way to do it is

to Simply change your environment because you can you can have huge Leaps and Bounds in how much your behavior changes without even having to get better which is why um one of the one of the the best ways to get good at anything is to join a team of people who are excellent at that thing and you know this from the sports world like if you can join a championship team you automatically adopt the cultural norms the rules of behavior of that group and you either get assimilated or you get rejected if the culture is

strong enough championship team and so that is the F now if you get into that team and all of a sudden your your game just levels up you know five you know five years faster than it would otherwise is it because you've inherently changed or because you changed your environment and so I think that that is the absolute shortcut the the cheat code to getting what you want is changing everything around you so like if everybody around you is poor don't listen to them about how to get rich and don't seek their approval for your

behavior because everything that they're going to approve of is keeping you where you're at and so I think if you if you have enough money to leave home then do so if you can't leave the town you're in then move across town just go 30 minutes away just go on the other side of town make it more convenient to do the things that you want to do and make it less convenient to hang out with the people and do the stuff that you don't want to be doing and if you do enough of those make

it easier make it harder trade-offs eventually you start doing more of the stuff that you want to do and less of the stuff you don't and that compounds I think a lot of times that is a lot easier than trying to willpower your way through anything because willpower is finite but if you can change the environment it actually makes it easier so you're actually not using any willpower if there are if there is no ice cream in the freezer and you have to get in your car to then go somewhere to get the like it's

a lot hard it's a bigger thing right so it's like how can I make it as inconvenient as possible to do the things that I don't M that I know are going to influence me to do bad things as well just got to delete Postmates next and so that's like the triangle if I was looking at somebody who like why are like why are you not doing what you want to do what's the triangle again you fear some sort of punishment which we can reframe as failure isn't failure only your fear of your fear of

judgment upon failure is the thing that you're afraid of you can reframe reward as like I want to get my own approval rather than some external outcome because if you knock on 100 doors and you don't make a sale and you're getting solar sales now you might have gotten rid of the fear of rejection but you haven't gotten the win yet and you're like oh maybe this isn't for me and so if you can change what you're measuring yourself on to the activities rather than to the outcome you say I'm the type of person who

will continue to do without seeing the result of my doing and the world will belong to you because there's only a handful of people who can keep working and keep doing without seeing the external benefit and those are the people who can beat everyone and they win every time they win and then the third piece is the environment environment so if I can if I can increase the reward which you can do through reframing it and redefining what you reward Yourself by the activities and the controllables if you decrease the punishment of the things that

you're afraid of and reframe that punishment is what if it wasn't a problem to begin with what if you agree with them that you don't have evidence they're right that's okay and you get out of the environment that continues to shape your behavior in the Direction you don't want you do those three things the likely you'll be able to change your behavior is very do people do every day that they hate doing like and a big one a big misnomer I think is that people think they need to have a new thing you can start

a cleaning business become a billionaire you can start a la care business become a billionaire you can start a roofing business become a billionaire like there's clear problems like all you have to do is just do what everyone else is doing learn how to sell learn how to deliver consistently and learn how to lead if you do those three things you can do just as well as everyone else and just do it better