Guys, you're not going to believe it. I'm a taxi driver NOW. LOOK, I GOT MY OWN TAXI. I CAN I can do that. I got a steering wheel. I got I got these things. And they kind OF SMELL LIKE POOP. OH. OH, YEAH. I can I can I can do that. Isn't that cool? Sorry, man. I I forgot. People drive kind of crazy in this city. Yeah. CAN YOU WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING? I'M PARKED HERE. ANYWAYS, as you can see, I am broke, but not for black because I I'm about to pick up my first
customer. That's so cool. And look at this. My first passenger, Billy R. 65 bucks. Yes. Okay. Okay. I got to I got to just got to drive to it before you ask. No, I do not have my driver's license, but we don't talk about that. Nobody has to know. All right. And you you will tell anyone my secret. ALL RIGHT. STOP. OH, there she is. IT'S MY FIRST CUSTOMER. HEY. OKAY. HOW DO I STOP? HELLO. I can't believe it. Wait. Let me let me let me let me put that let me let me put that
the Hi. IT'S NOT WORKING. I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY. LISTEN, I I tried my best here. Your music? >> Excuse me. >> Easy. I ain't going anywhere. Relax. >> Excuse me. We don't put music. >> Time to start the vibe. >> No, it's not that. >> Hands off. >> Stop. >> You know what? It's got to be cooler here. All right. No. No. I said >> air. >> NO. STOP. STOP. HELP. HELP. STOP. >> STOP. STOP. STOP. STOP. [Music] UH, LADY, you just Was this from me? For Thank you. 63 bucks. >> What happened? Hey, >>
let me turn my music. >> Hey, good morning. No, listen. >> Oh, wow. No again. >> Yes. No music. All right. I need to concentrate. I don't really know what I'm doing. I mean, I know what I'm doing, but I don't really know what I'm Are we close yet? How far are we from this stupid? >> Let's Excuse me. Get out of my How dare you turn this trash out. Okay. Oh, what is that? Wait, what? A bunch of cool stuff I can buy. I can buy a gun. All right. I give me one of
those. I need that. All right. I'm stress eating. This is literally the hardest job I've ever had to do in my life. That was not worth five bucks. What? You know what? That's mine now. Thank you. Thank you. Okay, listen. Did I just get What is that? What? What? Did she poop on my car? She gave me one star. Are you serious? I'm never going to recover. Okay, it's all right. I can I I can do better than that. I mean, I made 80 bucks, so I'm not really that mad, but uh I think I
need some protection. A skunk. Give me a skunk. Give it. Yes. Thank you. My new pet. You can go with the dog. WHAT? IT'S a real skunk. Okay. Uh, my car suddenly smells like poop. Okay. You stay in the back there. All right. You You stay there. I I will get to you later. I'm ready. Next customer or passenger, whatever. Who cares? Come on. Uh, yeah. He looks friendly. Totally. Why not? Okay, I just got to drive down here as you can see. Uh, yes, I'm looking at the screen and not the road. Why would
I look at the road? Okay, never mind. Uh, yeah, he should be right here. There he is. Man, I like your costume. What? Did you just like just rob a bike or something? He's holding a knife. He's literally Excuse me. Hello. I uh you you know what? I respect that. You look exactly like your profile picture. Hello. Thank you. All right, where we go? >> That car's been tailing us. Shut up. I'm trying to think. >> Don't act dumb. I'll cut you. >> What? But I seriously seriously don't. >> Okay. What do you want me
to do? >> Move your hands slow. >> No, you said not. You said move. You heard me. >> WHAT DO I DO? HELP. >> WAIT. I KNOW. I know. >> My eyes. >> Give me the eyes. >> Get away. Stop. Stop. Oh. Oh. Put that. >> Stop. Okay. So, where are we going? >> Open a window. >> All right. Open the The window's open, man. You know what? >> Hey, what's this button do? Let me test it out. >> Well, there's always next time. I still have a onestar rating. I'm literally going to go out
of business. Okay, next. Uh, this guy, he doesn't look like he's going to rob me. Gregory S 90 bucks. Wait, but his rating is only three. Does that mean he's going to be a bad passenger? Okay, I I don't really care. I'm desperate at this point. All right. I mean, I got one star. I don't think it matters if he's a bad passenger. I'm a bad driver, clearly. Okay. No. Thank Thank you for shaking your head. I appreciate that. All right. Come on. Where is he? He must be down. Oh, sorry. Hi. Yo, you're rich.
Give me that. Are you going to give me a tip? I got a tip, right? You don't look very happy. Hello. All right. What? What do you want? I will give you five star service. Okay. You want You want the the top the top? Hi. What do you want? You mind if I >> Hey, that was mine. >> No, it was. That's the key word. >> My phone and I trade faster than you. >> Liquidity is drying up. Pull the plug before it's blood red. Are you telling me or your phone? I don't really I
don't really understand what's happen. Yo, can I look? I know I'm not meant to check. >> Back windows closing. >> Can I take a look at this? >> Oh, look at that. >> I said divert. >> That's pretty cool. I don't really know what I'm looking at, but that's cool. HOT DOGS. I LIKE HOT DOGS. I'm sorry. Did I Did I hurt you feel? Do you not care that I just stole your You've got two. >> I'm on the phone right now. Dump the position before it taps. >> Yo, I want to be those exposure,
not your >> I'm at the boat, too. All right. Wait. How far are we from this place? Let me just put that there. Okay, you already said that. >> Liquidity is drying up. Pull the plug before it's blood red. >> It's okay. >> It's okay. >> I'm calling you again. >> 58 seconds. >> Wait, no. That's going up. How far is this stupid thing? Uh, we got to go despot. >> No, no, NO. IT'S NOT SABOTAGE. I JUST GOT ANOTHER HOW? WHY? How many phones do we have here? What? What's wrong? >> Hey, genius. Ever
heard of acceleration? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Wait. What's this doing? >> Yoooo. Buy over here. Champ. >> What are you? >> Step on it, idiot. I'm losing money by the second. >> I told YOU I DON'T HAVE. OKAY. I WASN'T. >> Why am I the only one watching the chart? >> Okay. Are we close yet? How >> far? Not the difference. Can you stop? All right. You know what? It's getting It's getting kind of hot in here. Right. >> I think I got to I got to turn. No. Excuse me. Shivers. >> Excuse. No. Excuse
me. >> Got heat. >> Stop. Stop. >> Freezing. >> Stop. >> Too cold. >> Stop. Stop. Listen. Are you feeling what I'm feeling? Hug. >> Free. Free hug. >> I mean, if you want it. I mean, come on. I mean, I know I'm driving, but man, I know. >> Wait. All right. That's You forgot the tip, man. What are you doing? That's what I'm talking about. How much I got? I got four stars. Four stars. I mean, that's not bad. Maybe it it was a hug. It's cuz I gave him a hug. That's why I
told you. Okay, now I can put it back to normal temperature. Uh, what can I buy? I can buy a bunch of stuff now that I got over a 100red bucks, bro. That's so much money. I kind of want I really want that, to be honest. I need some self-defense. All right. You have no idea. I I have already experienced. Let me just put that there. I have exper What's that noise? What is THAT NOISE? MY CAR IS GOING TO EXPLODE. OH, WAIT. It's just this. My bad. Yo, what do we got in here? I've
never looked. I can store stuff. Okay, you know what? That's a good idea. I'm going to put You know, this might scare the customers off, so I'm going just There we go. H. He left his phone. This guy's an idiot. You know what? I'll put that there, too. Okay, there we go. I could probably sell that for a lot of money as well. All right, I'm ready for my next order. I do star sale. Timothy W 60 bucks 3.71 rating. Okay, that can't be that is still higher than my rating. So, I am not that
worried. I got to go around here. Timothy. Timothy, I got to look for a Timothy, huh? Uh, you don't really look like a Timothy. Okay. Hello, Timothy. You've got your pajamas on. Hi. Uh, >> hello. >> Hi. Where? Where are we going? How far we got to go? That's a long wait. My I'm getting paid 60 bucks for this. All right, that's cool. So, uh what why try it and stop? Get out. Get out. GET OUT OF MY TAG. NO. HELP. I'm going to get sick. No. What do you mean failed? It's literally covered in
butters, man. I need a I need a coffee. That That was Give me that. Tastes disgusting. Okay, I'm ready. Next. No. My reading went down. Are you serious? Look at What do I do? The next customer is going to think I'm disgusting. Okay, whatever. Hopefully the the closed eye is facing this side so she can't see it. Ace is right here. Hey. Oh. Oh, sorry. That that that was uh I don't know what that was. Let me just let me for safety reasons. Let me put the roof back on later. You know what? I agree.
I like your pajamas. Can I say those shoes? Where did you got them? I want those. >> Okay. I'm sorry. Forget I asked. All right. Wait a minute. You just fall asleep. You know what? I'm not complaining. What? Personal space, please. All right, I need to concentrate. Okay, stop. You're getting a bit close. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. How much you pay me for this? 80 bucks. Yo, come here. You can sleep wherever you want. Come on. Come on. What do you mean, please? Why would you just wake up like that? >> Later. >> Okay, whatever.
STOP SNORING. You know what? It's okay. I can I can I can fix this. Let me just Ah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah. You like that? No. You don't like that? All right. What about this one? What about that one? That is so loud. Oh, okay. You know what? That's all right. You know what? This isn't a bad This is an okay costume here. Maybe she wants it to be hotter. H. Even hotter. There we go. Look, there's fire coming out. Is that hot? >> Okay. >> Okay. Do Do you like that or not?
No. No, you don't. You I don't think I don't think he likes it. Hey, you want to see something cool? Look what I got here. I I GOT PHOTO. I GOT OH, I'M SORRY. I'm sorry. >> Sleep. >> Sleep. Okay. Sleep. All right. You know what? I'll turn that on. Excuse me. >> Been a minute. >> Did I just poop myself? HOW LONG HAS THAT BEEN THERE? OKAY, I just took No wonder she's running. I literally the whole time I What is wrong with me? I didn't even take a shower. All right, whatever. Three stars?
What? Are you Are you serious? I literally gave you like the best service ever and you're going to give me three star, bro. All right, whatever. I don't care. She gave me 80 bucks. To be fair, it was probably the poop. All right. That's probably what How do I clean this? How do I clean it? You know what? It wasn't me. It was the It was the skunk. It was the skunk. A cop. Five star rating. Why not? I uh At least I'll feel safe, right? I mean, hopefully he doesn't notice the the bat. Where'
the bat go? Yeah, don't worry about that. I was just playing baseball, obviously. Okay. Uh where is he? He should be Wait, why would a cop take a taxi? Don't you have a police car? Hi. Come on. Where are we going? Man, you look excited. Where are we going? Yo. Yo. What? WHAT? I LITERALLY didn't even I'm going to prison. I'm going to prison, aren't I? I didn't even Why? I didn't mean to do Look at the picture of him. I DIDN'T EVEN DO THAT. I lasted 7 seconds. Come on, man. My rating's never going
up. $300. This is my redemption. I will give this guy actual fivestar service. Is if he's actually giving me 300 bucks. Okay. Hello. He's even holding money. Wait, that's not money. Hey, you really going to give me 300 bucks? I I I uh you kind of your jeans are kind of Oh. >> Oh, I know. >> You know what? I don't know what language that is, but I agree 100%. >> Oh, wow. >> Sorry about that. That was >> away. >> Yeah, that's what I'm saying, man. Honestly. No. No. Are you okay? Please don't. No.
Listen. I I think you've had enough. >> I had to quiet. >> What? No. I think you've had enough of that. It's all right. Let's just Let's put that back here. You can take that later. No. No. You know what? You know what? NO. HELP. I'm I'm literally going to throw up. This is the worst day of my life. It's okay. 300 bucks. 300 bucks. It's worth it for 300. That's Where did you get that one? >> WHERE DID YOU PULL that from? >> Okay, man. You know what? Whatever. That's all right. I look here.
You You want You want some cool air? Maybe that'll help. >> I got you. All right. Don't worry. >> You spilled the man. >> Is this really worth 300 bucks? >> Yeah, my driving, man. >> Yeah, that's what I'm saying, man. You're my BEST DRIVE, TOO. WHAT WAS THAT, MAN? NOBODY knows how to drive in this city. Okay. Uh again, WHY THE STOP? >> You are so lucky you're paying me all that money. You know what? As soon as you pay me, I'm getting the bite. All right. Come on. Okay. Am I close? Am I
close? Am I close? >> Beyond my driving, man. >> That's what I'm talking to. That's exactly what I was thinking, man. >> Oh, wait. You can speak. We're go. I don't know where we're going. We're going to your house, I think. Okay. So, it should be just out here. Just got to take a left. All right. So, it says we got to drop you off right here. Five stars. Five star, right? Yeah. >> Thank you. How much is that? Was that 300 bucks? >> 300 bucks, >> man. That looks painful. I'M RICH. But to be
fair, I probably need to buy a new car now. What am I doing with my life? Okay, I cleaned up. No more poop. No more pee. No more whatever else. Thank you. Okay, I got a bunch of money now. So, I'm going to spend that to get my rating higher. No more Mr. 1.9 star rating for me. All right. There's got to be something here that I could use that that won't make customers hate me. You know, something that'll make my rating go higher. Like, uh, just good. Yeah, I think this will make my rating
go much higher. Okay, I'm just going to put that right there. I'm ready. Let's go. Passenger Slavic. I $71. No, that's not enough. I only deal in hundreds now. Okay, you know what? I'm kidding. I mean, that guy just looked kind of scary. All right. Yeah. What was that? You see that? I just saw a flag person. OH, HEY, you're holding bloody. Is that for me? Okay. I'm sorry. What was that? Did you just Are you all right? Can you go to the hospital? >> Hello. >> All right. Here. Hi. Uh, is that is that
for me or >> Let me turn my music. >> Your music? No. No. I I don't want No. Stop. Stop. Stop. Don't want Bald. Let me try something. Let me try. >> I'm trying to make a wish. Stop. >> Crazy. >> YOU'RE CRAZY. >> STOP. GET OUT OF my more money. I'm rich. >> Failed. I consider that a success. Okay, don't worry about it. Rating kind of went down, but that's all right. I just I listen. No music. Okay, I need to concentrate on second thought. I think I'll need that, too. I completely forgot I
had that. Oh, I got a hat. I uh kind of forgot about this. I think I'll keep that right there. You know what? So, they know that I'm in business. Addy. Um 82 bucks. Okay, he's rated three stars. So, uh, this should be interesting. I don't know why I'm judging people on stars when I'm literally one star. But don't worry, I will get the five stars. Okay. Oh, you know what? No. No. I No, no, it's okay. No, please. No. No. I JUST I JUST CLEANED THE CAR. WHAT IS THAT? WHAT? You know what? Whatever.
I won't judge. Where are we going? Excuse me. >> Change for the hungry, not the greedy. >> Stop. Watch it, you nuts. >> Stop. Yeah, that's what I thought. YOU'RE GOING TO SIT THERE. WHAT? SH. We're going to finish this ride. You're going to give me five stars and you're never going to fart in my car again. I just had this cleaned, bro. Man, WHAT? WHAT DID I JUST SAY? THAT'S IT. GET UP. Don't come back. CAN I KNOCK OUT? YOU KNOW WHAT? CATZEL. KATZEL. Can I knock out a single normal passenger, please? Like this
guy. He looks adorable. Oliver D. I forgot to check his rating, but that's okay. All right. I'm sure it's going to be fine. Okay. Hey, you two hot dogs. Where are one of those for me? That's for me, right? >> Morning. >> Yes. Thank you. >> I wasn't done with it. >> Well, you weren't started with it either. Maybe you should have thought of that, bro. This is pretty good. Yo, you should try it. >> It's tasty. >> Do you have to make that sound? >> I don't want Oh, I think I'll get a stroll.
HEY, >> SHUT UP. Where did you get Listen, listen. Listen, man. Listen. You had two hot dogs. I took one. >> That's tasty. >> Where did you pull that one from? Tell me the man. Tell me the truth. >> Personal space pack. >> Tell me the truth. >> What is this? a good meal. >> I think I'm going to [ __ ] NO MORE HOT DOGS. NO MORE HOT DOGS. WHERE DID YOU PULL THAT FROM? I'm going to watch I'm going to watch you. Okay. I'm not watching the >> from his butt. It was from
his help. Listen, man. You got to you got to stop making noise. All right. Yeah. What? You going to hit me with the hot dog? HE HIT ME WITH THE HOT DOG. COME. OKAY, MAN. YOU KNOW WHAT? Let's just get this stupid ride over with. I'm not even >> delicious. >> It's not delicious. >> Watch it, you nuts. >> YOU WATCH IT. YOU WATCH IT. NO MORE HOT DOGS. >> YES. GOOD. SLEEP. FINALLY. OKAY. No more messing around. This is my taxi. I got poop hot dog on me. You know what? I don't want any
No more hot dogs in my car. Okay. Wake up. You're being dramatic. Stop. Stop being dramatic. Stop. Stop. Here. You want some music on my head? That's tasty. >> Hey, Laura. >> What? You know what? What? Wait, where'd he go? Oh, I did it again. Oh, I forgot about the skunk. I need that for later. There we go. Oh, wait. I can clean up. Yes, finally. OKAY. NO, NO, NO, NO. I'M SORRY. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That wasn't about that. Put that there. Okay. Yeah, I can I can finally clean up. Can you stop? Just
relax for a second. Okay, let's just clean up all this trash. Man, if only I knew I could do this. I would have I would have cleaned up the poop from before, but instead I bought a whole new car. Is that money? Who did I rap? Thank you. All right. What's the worst that could happen? Look, I got a new strategy. Okay, I'm just going to start like this. No funny business. Okay, I know you're a clown, but I'm not interested. I'm just I'm just going to Don't worry. I'm I won't even I'm just going
to sit like this. >> Hi. >> Hi. That's all I want to hear from you. You're already doing something. Stop. >> Stop. Stop. Stop. It's not Wait, is that a real nose? >> Hey, don't crash. I forgot my parachute. >> Yeah, that's Yeah, that's kind of funny. Not going to lie, you got another one. Wait, can I test something? >> You're freaking me out. Can you stop? Stop. Can I test? I really want to know. Does it make the noise? >> Looks weird. All right. Uh, where are we going anyways? Cuz I almost just crashed.
Uh, it looks like we're going in this uh straight line. As always, everyone just be going in lines for some reason. >> Shut up. I'm trying to think. >> Where did YOU PULL THAT? >> YO, come on, man. I thought you were normal. What are you doing? >> You see a cop? You're saying nothing. >> Don't worry. I will I will not I won't say anything. All right. It's okay. It's okay. I just got to go to the desk. >> Don't look at me. What the heck? Watch it, you nuts. out. >> Hey, don't touch
me with that. >> I didn't do that. You literally You just did that yourself. Can you shut up? >> Stop. Stop making that noise. >> Seriously, excuse me. Seriously, excuse me. >> And you know what? I don't like your nose. I don't like it. >> Ser [Music] you you can leave at any moment. You know, it's not You don't have to sleep. It's not really This isn't a hotel. Come on. Come on. Here. I'll open your door for you. I'll I'll open There you go. You can go now. [Music] I will call the police if
you do not leave. Get out of my car. Go and don't come back. [Music] I have no idea what just happened, but I got paid. Four stars, man. She really was crazy. I hope I meet you again, lady. Immediately. No, I don't. That guy scares me. Next. Anything else I can buy? Nah. Wait, can I feed the customers coffee? Then it'll be like, you know, like like like I've given them stuff. Maybe they will be happy. What's this bead do? Okay, that looks like it hurts. I will definitely be using that. Uh, think I'll put
that down there just to be safe. My name is Mr. Nice Taxi. Nice to meet you. Uh, don't worry about the poop on my hands. Can you watch where you're going, please? Mr. Nice Taxi doesn't rage. Mr. Nice Taxi does anything for 300 $355. Okay, where's this idiot? Sleep spray. That could be useful. I'll save that. Hi. You don't need to be so dramatic. Okay, those shorts. Do they need to be that short? I feel Listen, man. I feel like a wardrobe change cage. >> Hi, your pants. They're too short. All right. You know that.
Where did you pull that from? Wait. >> Hair air. >> What? >> My Stop. >> What? >> I'll sue you. >> You'll sue me. YOU'LL SUE ME. >> CRAZY. >> GET OUT OF my sue. Dad, GET OUT OF MY CAR. EDIT, STOP. >> WHY? I thought he was friendly. Hi. Hey, looking uh what the what? The groovy. Does anybody say that? You look groovy, my man. Why are you dressed like that? Oh, sorry. Almost. >> Morning. >> Why do you all sound the same? Morning. And like you could say something else, you know, like like
>> the radio. >> What? No, you won't. >> Hot. >> Just a bad ass. >> STOP. YOU CRAZY. >> STOP. STOP. YOU JUST TURN IT. TURN THE STUPID. You know what? Look. >> Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, don't touch me with that. >> Watch it, you nuts. >> Ow. My head blowing up like a Hey, don't touch me with that. Watch it, you nuts. >> All right. And that's just a warning. Okay. You look much better now. Your your face matches your suit. Okay. So, how far are we going? Listen. >> All right. My music time.
>> No, no, no, no. Music. All right. We're going to we're going to sit here in silence. Okay. >> I'll take over the radio. >> No, you won't. You can you can imagine that, but it's not happening. All right. SPREAD. IT DOESN'T even work. >> It's meant to put it to sleep. I don't. >> Hey, we're here. >> Stinky. >> Hey. Well, that's not my fault. Hey, who put that there? Ugg. Why can't I see the stink in his photo? Why Why can't I literally see his fart? Like, is that normal? I'm kind of intrigued.
I want to see what he looks like. I mean, in person. Like, surely he doesn't actually smell like that, right? >> You're a cake, man. >> Yeah, that's what I was saying. >> Have you ever seen one of these before? This is called the taxi. Okay. Welcome to the f No, you don't. You don't need to do that. >> No, no, no. That's enough. That's You can stop. That's enough. All right. >> That Yeah, I stop. Please, man. Please. I >> What just happened? What just happened? What? Okay. Honestly, he looks like he's having fun.
I'm just gonna let him keep doing it. So, how are you paying me anyways? >> Like, what job do you do? I'm just wondering, man. Okay. Not no judging, but you're you're literally a caveman. So, okay. Pulled another one out there. I'm going to be honest. All right. That that looks like it hurts. Okay. Well, I mean, if you want to All right, man. Look, you know how you discovered fire? What if you discovered how to fly? >> OH, THAT LOOKS LIKE IT HURTS. UNCLE BUNGA, MY MAN. >> WHAT AM I GOING TO DO with
all these bats? They could be useful. At this point, I could pick up a literal alien and I would not be scared. But hello. Uh uh uh uh. Nice costume, right? It's a >> It's not a costume. It's a zombie. All right, cool. You're literally You're a zombie. >> You know what? All right. Thanks. Am I going to have to I really don't want to listen to that all day. You You are way too You're going to have to back up a bit. Back. Excuse me. Back up. I don't want to. You got to social
distancing, please. I need to do my job now. >> I'm sorry. What was that? >> WHY NOT TAKE THAT? DOESN'T FEEL SO GOOD, DOES IT? >> Shut up. Now, that is a sleeping spray if I've ever seen one. Okay, I think I'll just do that every time this thing wakes up. Uh, and then I'll get to my destination. ALL RIGHT, STOP DRIVING LIKE THAT, MAN. Am I the only one that knows how to drive on this on this road, bro? Finally, some peace and quiet, man. Anyways, so how much are you paying? $61. How did
you get three stars? How? Wake up. Your destination's here. Don't Don't think you're not paying, by the way. Okay, I don't care if you slept through it. You still got to your destination. Wake up. I require payment. You're here. Thank you. Don't forget five stars. Okay. Five stars. It was basically time travel. >> Did I get five stars? You know what? You wait here until I see how my What was my rating? What? What' you get? Three stars. You're lucky I suck at a stuck at two stars, THOUGH. IS THAT A COW? IMMEDIATELY. YES. YES.
YEAH. FINALLY, BROOKE. This is the best day of my life. A cow. This is incredible. Who cares? I'm picking up the cow. Do you think he wants the roof on? I DON'T KNOW. Wait a sec. Ooh, >> you don't really look like a cow. >> Ooh, >> never mind. You're definitely a cow. You hear that? You hear that sound? That's That is exactly what a cow would sound like. Okay, that I so I'm sorry for doubting you. All right, you are officially a cow. >> That's what I'm saying. You know that I finally someone that
speaks my language. So yeah, I I picked up so many idiots earlier and I was I I don't know why I could have just picked you up instead. What do you What do you It's okay. You don't have to You don't have to do that. >> No, no, you don't have to do Can I Wait. Okay. If you're going to do that, >> move. >> No, no, no, no, no, no, no. If you're going to do that, do you mind? Do you mind? Do Do I have permission? Oh, wow. Okay, not so quick. I need
to try something. This is the BEST DAY OF MY LIFE. OH, I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY. LISTEN, LISTEN. LISTEN. I'm feeling the connection, too. But not here. I need to do my job. Okay? So, you're going to have to you're going to have to sit you sit there. All right? And and that's that's got to go off. Okay? We don't need any of that. No. No. I I know. I know, my love. But we got to get to the destination. All right? Stop. Moo. Moo. That's what I'm saying. Moo. Okay. So, where are you headed? Like,
I didn't know there was farms around here or anything. It's just It's kind of a weird kind of a weird No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You do that again, I will hit I will literally hit you with this bat. So, don't do it again. Okay. Yeah, that don't do it again. [Music] >> Three stars. I literally fell in love with her and that's all I got. Sorry. Uh, anything else I could buy? Uh, what is this? I don't remember buying this. How do I Ah, fire. I could definitely use that on some wood.
Okay, I need all this stuff. I have to take my car to get washed again for obvious reasons. Okay, the taser. You know what? I could probably like hit someone with this. I'll keep it down there for protection. Anything else that I could use? That sleep spray. That was actually useful. All right, let's uh let's put that there. H. Did I never buy this knife? I mean, I don't really need it. The bat. I love this bite. I mean, it's not as good as the kads would, but it's pretty good. And this coffee. I definitely
need this. I deserve it. Ah, delicious. I'm kidding. Does anybody actually like the taste of coffee? Because if you do, you're lagging. NEXT. OKAY, this is my 19th, right? Hey, it's a cowboy. Clappy. I didn't know they made these anymore. It won't let me. Okay, I got it. Don't worry, we're safe. I mean, it's not going to be hard to spot with that giant cowboy hat. Okay. Hey, you. You're actually A COWBOY. YO, COWBOYS ARE NORMAL, RIGHT? You're not going to do anything stupid. Here. Yo. Yo, you must like it hot cuz you're a cowboy,
right? You're in the Wild West. Hey. >> Okay. Oh, no. Not that hot. Okay. I'm sorry. There you go. THERE YOU GO. HERE. JUST >> LET ME TURN my music. >> Your music? No. No. No. No. No. No. No. We don't need >> too hot. >> Too hot. You said you want heat. You want cold? >> Need air. Let's make it sound right. >> Is that better? So, what you want? Okay. You No, you said you want >> shivering. >> Shivering. ARE YOU HOT OR COLD? >> Got heat. >> Make up your mind. There's your
heat. >> Let me turn my music. >> Your Okay. Your music. Your music. All right. We'll put it cold. >> Freezing. >> Freezing. Okay. Heat. Heat. >> T. All right. My music time. >> Okay. What do you What What station you want? >> Melton. >> All right. I don't think that's the station. >> Boiling. >> Oh, this one. Ah, that's what I'm talking about. >> Yeehaw. >> Yeeha. >> Shoot. The city ain't ready for me. >> Stop shooting that in the car. >> What are you doing? >> Help. >> Best I ever. [Music] >> Okay.
Music's off. Oh. Oh, we're here. Oh, okay. Well, it was nice meeting you. Bye. Wait, you forgot something. Okay. Well, I guess I'm the cowboy now. How do I look? How do I I don't know why I don't have a mirror. How do I look? Whatever, man. I got to turn this junk out. Shut up. All right, three stars and 84 bucks. Thank you. I appreciate it. Okay, that wasn't so bad. Uh, my rating didn't change, but honestly, three is better than what? Okay, next. Okay, please someone good. Please someone good. Bruise pee. Sounds good
to me. Go. Bruise pee. Huh? Me too, man. Me too. Okay. Where is he? Hey, my man. Why you got boxy gloves? What? Excuse me. What do you Okay, let me just You all right? >> Morning. >> Good morning. Uh, >> need air. >> You need air? Okay. Excuse me. Keep moving. Stop. What do you mean came over? We're literally moving. >> Okay. You know what? As long as you don't hit me. >> That's okay. So, you're a boxer or something? What's the >> What's the deal with >> my music now? >> Your Okay. Your
music. Wow. All right. Thank you. Your m What kind of music you listen to? Classic, rock, rap, disco. Do you listen to music? You just You just press that. You just be pressing buttons, don't you? I respect that. >> Oh, wait. Huh? Okay. >> Right. Left. >> Yeah. >> Yo, you should teach me how to do boxing. >> Left. >> Is it Is it hard? >> Is it like Can Can I do Can you teach me? Can you look here? >> Wait. Do you like this? Wait. Wait. You want to hear my music? This is
my music. >> Yeah. >> I don't think you like. Okay. I'm sorry. Look. I'm sorry. >> Just make it sound right. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's okay. I got you. I got you. STOP. STOP. STOP. YO, can I stop? Stop. How dare you say let's make it sound right like my music wasn't right. Don't come back. >> Damn. Filthy in here. >> Filthy. What do you mean filthy? This thing's clean. There's just a little poop at the back. That's not This That's not filthy. All right. How many stars? Three stars. Thank you. All right. The
cow's back. The cow's back. I knew I knew she would come back to me. We had a connection. Okay. Me and that cow. That was basically our first date and this is the second one. Come back. Hello. You remember me? Look, I know we got off of the wrong flight or or hoove. Yeah, that's what I was saying, right? So, >> yeah. So, we're going here. Okay. We're currently here. We should be there soon. >> Moo. >> You see that? That's what I'm talking about. Anyways, uh so how's your day been? What What you been
up to? >> Moo. >> Wait a sec. What is it? What is it? Hold on. What? What is that? Wait. No. Is that Am I discovering something here? IS THAT A >> ARE YOU a Stop. >> What is that? Is that a jet? Excuse me. No. No. This can't be. You're You're a cow. How did you TAKE IT UP? I KNOW THERE'S SOMETHING UNDER THERE. TAKE IT UP. This is a threat. You take it off or I will let go. No. [Music] Oh. Uh, sorry about that. I didn't mean to let go. Uh, you you'll
be okay, right? Oh, look. She's fine. HEY, I'LL SEE YOU ON OUR next date. All right. For 300 bucks. For $344. Yeah, sure. I'll take her again. Why not? Why do I do this to myself? Am I right? Get it? Cuz she's a clown. She got that news. All right, whatever. What's the worst that could happen? Hey, lady. Listen. Did you forget what happened last time? Cuz I'm not going to lie. I forgot, too. I don't remember if I ejected you or not, but I will not have. >> All right. >> I'm sweating. >> Already
touching stuff. Okay, cool. Hey. Hey. You want to see something? Want to see something? >> Excuse me. Excuse you. What do you mean? You went into my >> Try it. Watch it. >> Shut up. You went into my space. You know what? Get in the back. You're This No more. You don't get to stay in the front anymore. You have lost your privileges. >> What happened? >> How did you get BACK HERE? OH, THAT WAS THAT WAS A MISTAKE. That was $400. No, man. Come on. Give me someone new. Okay. What is that? I need
to meet you. Whatever I just witnessed, I need to see it in person. That look kind of scary. All right. I mean, they should stand out. Shouldn't be too hard to see. Uh oh, THERE THEY ARE. WHAT IS THAT? I'm not happy about whatever's happening here. Hello. You You care to explain yourself? Woo! Woo! No, that doesn't explain anything. Listen, man. I'm warning you. I will click this button. All right. I don't want No funny business. Why do you have one of those? >> Don't. You are not A DOG. >> PUT YOUR HEAD. STOP. ALL
RIGHT. SO, how's your day been? Come on. Speak normally. I know you you I Excuse me. >> Excuse me. How's your day been? >> Take the mask off. Take it out. T. Did you poop IN THE CAR? YOU POOPED. WHY WOULD YOU POOP? >> What do you mean? Okay, you know what? I got to respect you. How did you take that? >> All right. You know what? You have gained my respect. You just survived that somehow. >> Girl, >> stay. Stay up. Stay. You know what? You lost my respect. I changed my mind. >> Why
are YOU WEARING THAT? WHY ARE YOU NOT ONE OF THOSE THAT YOU'RE NOT A DOG? [Music] ALL RIGHT. You're stronger than I thought. And I I honestly I hated you and then I liked you and I hated you and now I like you again. >> All right. But you really got to stop with the woof woof. This is a dog. You are not a dog. Okay. Woof woof. >> No. Put your Put your hand away. Give me this. >> Stop doing that with your hands. [Music] We're here. Hey, three stars. Thank you. I made 1,000
bucks. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about, man. And it hasn't even been a full day. All right, I'm going to be real. I want more of those bats. Okay, that that's the only reason why I need that. That was the most literally that was the best weapon I've ever used. I need more of them. Hello, booger. Come on, man. I missed you. I missed you. Come on. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. All right, give me that. >> That's mine and that's yours. Bye. My favorite weapon. Okay, fine. I'll take the scary guy now that
I've got protection. I am not scared anymore. Okay, there he is. Why is he got a mask on and the suit? I wonder if I could take the mask off. Hello. Why? Why do you look like that? What's wrong? You're looking at me like I'm the weird one. All right. Anyway, that's what I'm Yeah, that's what I was going to say. Oh, sorry. Sorry. Still learning to drive. Oh, no. No, no, no. Okay. Yep. You want to hide? Hide. There you go. Oh, >> listen. Listen. The roof wasn't on. You don't need to relax. Take
the mask off. What do you look like under there? I need What do you look I You do look like something, bro. Uh, you know what? Keep the mask on. I'm sorry about that. I It was It was a misunderstanding. I didn't Yeah. Yeah, I did. Yeah, it suits you. It looks good. Yeah, I like it. I like it. Okay. Anyways, uh I don't know how it's possible to look scarier under the mask, but I respect that. All right. You got to do what you got to do. The suit looks very nice. I got to
say that. You know what? I'm sorry for judging you. All right. You're You're literally the chillest guy I've picked up today. You're not fighting me. You're not doing some stupid music. You're not You're even looking at me while I'm talking to you. I respect that. Thank you. You know what? You're not so bad after all. >> You got to work on on whatever you're trying to say, though. I don't really like that. But that's okay. I'm going to buy a suit, too soon, cuz look how much money I made. I'm going to be just like
you without the mask, obviously, cuz that looks scary. We're here. Five stars. Right, right, right, right, right. My first five stars. What do YOU MEAN TWO STARS? And he's walking away. So smug. Are you serious? I thought I finally Am I ever going to get five stars, man? Maybe this job isn't for me. This sucks. Wait, I could use this when they want music. Hey, who put this here? I don't really know what's going on here, but I would like to find out. Is he a police officer? A clown? Both? I don't know. All of
the above, I guess. Uh, why have you got pajamas, but also a police uniform, but also but also a cloud, those >> yo. >> All right, listen, man. I don't want any trouble. All right. I don't know what you're meant to be. Can I squeeze? Come here. Can I give me Give me a squeeze. >> What you going to do with it? >> That's what I'm talking about. What do you mean? What am I going to I'm going to squeeze it. What? You put the clown nose on. I'm going to squeeze it. All right. WHAT
DO YOU EXPECT? WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING. See that? Yeah. You like that? You like You like when I do that. That's what I'm talking about. Stop looking at me like that. I have I have a bat with spikes and I am not afraid to use it. >> All right. You stop looking at me like that. That's better. All right. Yeah. So, what convinced you to to dress like that today? Was it like a a personal decision? >> I forgot my parachute. >> Are you like a police officer that wants to be a clown, but like
you're not funny, so you got to just be a police officer and a clown on the side. >> Filthy in here. >> Filthy. Wait, excuse me. I was trying to be nice to you. >> Looks weird. >> Looks weird. >> Smells awful. >> You're telling me I look weird? Okay, buddy. All right. You know what? I like this guy. He's kind of funny. He's the He's the funniest cloud so far. I I respect that. All right. What do you think? >> Took forever. >> Took forever. What are you talking about? How much? Four stars. That's
one of my highest ever ratings. Okay. All right. Next. Why do they keep saying it's filthy in here? I mean, it is, but it's not that bad, right? Bro, fine. I'll clean up. I keep forgetting I got to do that. Okay, let's clean the poop off. Clean the poop. Clean the poop. Oh, there's actually poop. Oh, man. You know, the worst part is it's my seat. So, I I I literally can't explain at all. I poop myself. All right. And there's nothing I can do about it. What are you going to do? Judge me? Okay.
Wait, there's more poop there. How does that even get there? Okay, it's clean. We're clean. WE'RE GOOD. HEY, ZOE, I've been waiting for you. All right, listen. Listen, listen, listen, listen. You've got your own headphones. That's good. That means That means you're not You don't want to play music, right? Good morning. That's the Hello. Thank you. You're normal, right? You You're the most normal looking person so far. >> Time to start the vibe. >> You know what? That's not bothering me. Okay, she's got her headphones on. I don't have to hear her stupid music. I'm
happy with that. All right. Man, this is kind of relaxing, not going to lie. And she's not saying my car sticks. This is the best day of my life. >> Delicious. >> Where do you guys KEEP PULLING THESE HOT DOGS FROM? YO, can I have some of that? Come here. >> Good meal. >> Come here. Yeah. Good meal. Give me some of that. >> Need my tunes. >> That's what I'm talking about. Yo, you're my favorite passenger so far. I'm not even going to lie. All right. That >> like I would be actually upset. Excuse
me. Are you I'm trying I'm trying to compliment. >> Sure. Let's just ruin the vibe. >> Yeah. I'm sorry. >> Air. >> Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Anyways, if I ejected you, I would actually be upset. All right. Because you're probably the best the best passenger so far. Yeah. So, what music are you listening to? Oh. Oh, no. No. No. Not like that. Not like that. Not like that. All right. Here. Here you go. >> Looks weird. What you going to do with it? >> I'm okay. She's got another You know what? Whatever. All right. Hopefully, I'm
almost there. That's >> tasty. >> Are you going to give me five stars, please? Five star. Okay, she's smiling. That means yes. Okay, we're here. >> Not great. >> Not great. What do you mean not great? What is three stars? This is wrecked. Bro, this is literally wrecked. This is I am trying so hard and I still can't do anything. Hello. >> Hi there. >> Okay, your voice does not match what I expected. H. Yes. Thank you. So, uh, are you normal? You look normal. Please tell me you're norm. No, no, no. Don't. No. Smile
again. Do the smile. No. Do this. Please. I really want to do this. Okay. I That is so satisfying. Yo, can I can I I'm sorry. Look, look. I know this is weird, but No, no, no, no. Please, please. It's not weird, bro. You look so much better already. Look, look. Come on. Come here. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> I didn't do all of them. >> That was so satisfying. No, no, no. Please, please, please, please. You're okay. You're okay. Look, you're okay. You were looking so MUCH BETTER AND THEN YOU HAD TO DO THAT. BRO,
you're so Okay, you're you're heavier than I expected. But look here. Here. Where'd he go? Oh, you're back. Hey, man. You look a bit worried. Listen. Listen. I Let's just forget about what just happened. All right, we we're going to we're going to go look. Yeah, you look great. Where's that noise coming from? Do you hear that? Hey, there's money back here. >> Interesting. >> Did you just never seen that before? >> What do you mean? No. No. >> Hey, don't touch me with that. >> Get out of my car. Go. Don't come back. Fighting
in my cart. Where is that stupid sound coming from? Stop. I WAS WEARING HEADPHONES. I'm such an idiot. Abigail. Um, yes. I need to meet her. Okay. I want to ask what that what what her eyebrow routine is. Abigail, I see you. Come in. Come on. Listen, I'm just going to say it right now. I think I'm in love. All right. Are you feeling the connection I'm feeling? >> Where's the heat? >> You want the heat? I got you. All right. >> It's freezing. >> Let me turn my music. >> No, no, no. We don't
need music here. Okay. I need to know. >> I'm sweating. >> Listen. Can you just stop? Just stop for a second. >> Can I touch them, please? I just listen. Thank you. I appreciate Look, >> THAT IS INCREDIBLE. HOW DID YOU GROW IT OUT? What is your routine? Do you want to get married? This trip's on me. Okay. Where should we go for our first date? Nope. WE'RE GOOD. GOODBYE. YOU'RE BAD. MAN, what is with these people? It's so hard to find love in the city. 300 bucks. Hey. Hey, Creekcraft. >> Morning. >> Morning. What
are you listening to here? I got I got some tunes. I got >> What's that you got there? >> It It's It's There you go. That's how you wear them. That's the real way to wear them. Okay. You just You just haven't discovered it yet. You're getting a bit close there, buddy. Back it up. I'm sorry. Look, I didn't I think I heard his feel. It's okay. Hey, are you feeling what I'm feeling? >> What do you mean the cat's on the roof again? >> Why is it always my cat? I >> I don't know,
man. >> No, I can't jump out. I'm in a taxi. >> Yeah, exactly. Here, give me the phone. Give me the phone. Give me I'll tell her I'll tell her myself. >> He's building. All right, SO STOP CALLING THE NUMBER. >> Easy peasy. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? That's from Taco. That's all you got to do. You just got to say that. All right. Who Who was that anyways? Was that Was that your mom or something? >> No, I don't got a pizza in here. It's a cab, not a delivery
truck. >> What? >> What? You serious? >> Excuse me. I said you don't need to speak to her. Okay, put your fists away. Stop. Don't be Stop. STOP. >> YOU CRAZY. >> STOP. You got to relax. Okay. Just just like you said, this is a taxi, not a not a pizza delivery, >> man. It's okay. All right. I swear if this guy is adorable, I quit. >> No, I quit. No, I'M DONE. I DON'T want to be a taxi driver no more. Go. Bye. [Music] Heat