Shadow Work: Become who you are terrified of.

quasi here have you ever felt like there's a side of you that you don't quite understand the part of you that seems to sabotage your dreams pulling you back into patterns that you thought you'd left behind for good well there's a reason for that and that reason is the gross Mis understanding of a big part of your psyche known as The Shadow now I want to begin with a story a story that might make you question what you think you know about yourself this story is about Deb Ford now you might not know her name

but her journey reveals something chillingly real about The Human Experience see in the early 1990s Debbie appeared to have it all a promising career close friends and a life that seemed put together but behind that facade she was haunted by a darkness that she just couldn't escape no matter how hard she tried she was caught in a cycle of self-destruction and addiction and no matter how much she tried to run from it the shadows of her past kept chasing her what Debbie didn't realized then was that she was at war with herself there was a

part of her that she refused to acknowledge something yion psychology refers to as the shadow this Shadow isn't just some metaphor it's a real psychological concept it's the collection of everything that we have ever repressed your fears shame anger even desires that you think are too unacceptable to admit and according to studies in modern psychology the more that we suppress these elements the more they unconsciously control our behaviors Debbie's story is a perfect example of that it wasn't until 1985 when she finally hit rock bottom and checked herself into rehab that she stumbled upon this

concept of the Shadow and this is where things actually get very eerie as she began to explore this Hidden Side of herself she found buried emotions and memory she had spent years ignoring she called it Shadow work the process of confronting these dark aspects of the psyche the more she faced her Shadow the more she began to transform by 1998 she turned her journey into a best-selling book The Dark Side of the light Chasers bringing Shadow work into the mainstream but here's the thing her story isn't some distant anecdote science tells us that we all

have this Shadow Self research and psychoanalysis shows that when we suppress aspects of our personalities whether it's fear Envy or rage they don't just disappear they Fester influencing your actions reactions and decisions in ways that you don't consciously recognize so what exactly is the shadow why why does it have such a grip on our lives and most importantly how can confronting it actually lead to real change in today's video I'm going to share with you the science the psychology and the Eerie Truths Behind Shadow work by the end of this video you'll not only understand

what the shadow is but also how you can begin to reveal and heal the hidden parts of yourself once this is done correctly you're going to feel a newfound ease in your life as though you're simply gliding instead of being met with friction at every single turn of your life let's dive into the darkness to understand Shadow work to its entirety and the implications it can have in changing your life we have to understand the four main personality archetypes K young put forward the very service level archetype that we all live by the armor that

we put on is the ego or the smaller self now the ego is the armor that we wear to present ourselves to the world so we can protect our integrity who we truly are it prevents us from being vulnerable it it it's a mask that we wear just to function within Society a level below that is the anima or animus which is basically the counterpart so if you are male it's your feminine counterpart if you're female then it's your masculine counterpart the other side the other polar opposite to your psyche and then we have the

self with the capital S this is the self that's the collection of all personalities our higher selves the God within us okay and finally we have the Shadow the little Devil Within every single one of us that we are too afraid to confront and typically the shadow presents itself it it it's a formation of past lives current life how we have been brought up if I have been raised in a Christian household and I've been told that certain things are really really bad then that those bad things have been stored in our shadow it's been

repressed and the more it's repressed the more it festes the more it starts to show up later on in life and that's why you get all of these psychosomatic illnesses pedophilia Etc happening later on in life that you see with you know whatever was happening with with Mr Diddy right now and so all of these things happen because of things within our psyche that has gone unaddressed that hasn't found proper expression but more important L what you're going to find out in part three of this video is how to have it find proper surrender how

to have it find proper sublimation and ultimately individuation when all of these parts of our psyche are allowed to exist within us equally and also in within a healthy balance we reach this state this ultimate State called maslo calls it self-actualization or KY calls it individuation okay okay these are the four main archetypes now the question is how do you identify the shadow because it's well and good to know its parts of us that we suppress parts of us that we repress but how do you actually identify it with practical steps that's what we're going

to get into right now with a simple exercise what I would like for you to do right now is grab a notebook if you have the notes section in your on your phone that's great too let's get right to this exercise so the very first thing I'd like for you to do is to list down five main qualities that you despise in others other people and yourself so for example because I grew up in an environment with a stingy father I despise the quality of stinginess now of holding on to money and not and denying

yourself because I grew up and I saw that and I told myself I would never be like this right because I saw how much Strife it caused between me and my parents and I saw how much you know he was denying himself and his family but now I can understand consciously that he did it because he came from an upbringing when his father was spending a lot more so I hated that quality as a kid because it would deny me toys and things that I wanted and also my mom and so that quality when I

look at it that's part of my shadow right things that I hate in others things that trigger me so do me a favor look at things that trigger you in life and this isn't just for the purposes of this exercise this is kind of an awareness exercise now for you to be aware of in your daily life whenever you get triggered by certain qualities in people why does it trigger you so much that's in your Shadow okay that is your Mr HDE of your jackeline HDE and then what I would like for you to do

is list down one reason one experience that you've had just like I gave you an example of the quality of Stingy right the quality one quality I also hate are people who are lazy because I hate that in myself I despise that quality in myself people who are not generous and I despise that quality in myself that's also part of my shadow everything you notice is also a part of you right but we deny we say oh I'm not like that I'm this goody two shoes until one day it all just comes out and you

become your worst nightmare because you've tried to stuff it out repress it for so long better now that you have it in your conscious awareness that part of you that already exists Okay so list down one story one personal anecdote or story in your life where you know that that has led you to initially hating it or why you think you hate it so much or maybe even a person that you've observed in your life that made you hate this quality so much so next time you meet people what I would like for you to

do is just observe a shadow can't exist if light is shed everywhere the shadow only exists because light is selectively placed on certain parts and and other parts are suppressed that's how a shadow works right so when you start to shed light everywhere you become aware of everything even the things that you hate that even becomes an observation without judging the moment you get into judgment we are repressing and suppressing the moment you get into full acceptance of everything that's when light is being shined everywhere equally do you notice the difference in judgment when we

get into labeling positive or negative good and bad that's when we get into trouble but when we take a step back and we say not good not bad simply is it's accepted this is simply how it is so you might have an natural bodily reaction of oh I hate this because that's how you've trained yourself to react to that because that's been so repressed in your Shadow but the next time something like that triggers you and you're going to start to notice this now by the way now that you've written these qualities down you're going

to start to notice this everywhere because this will trigger your Awakening okay and I can promise you once you start to notice it give it the light of your awareness it will slowly become sublimated you're going to notice more of an ease in your personality you're going to Noti as less of a friction in your life because that's the very definition of friction because you walk around with these certain ideas that you hold to be true this is good that is bad when we do that that's the very definition of friction I'm fighting my way

through life because I hold one certain ideal to be true so to give you an example from my personal life in my past because I've been conditioned so much by watching social Med media videos and particularly you know who in particular um promoting the idea of you have to be masculine you have to be men have to be more manly uh I suppressed my feminine side for a very long time and I felt that as a man it was weak to appear feminine and because I suppressed his side of me not only did I lack

creatively but I also started to see that I couldn't uh connect with my wife on a deeper level so our relationship had been affected too so I was afraid of being vulnerable because that was an appearance of weakness and I would keep a lot of you know secrets about how I'm feeling and not be fully open and fully present with my wife and she could feel that something was wrong and I was stressed somehow and because she couldn't tell why I was stressed because I wasn't communicating with her I was pretending as though I wasn't

stressed but uh you know women they have a way of figuring these things out because they're just a lot more intuitive than than we are maybe that's a generalization but that's what I've noticed at least and because I was suppressing this side of me I noticed a lot of problems in every single area of my life the other thing too I noticed is whenever I see people who are lazy who don't want to put in the work who are looking for a lottery win that's also part of my shadow because I I I despise that

I'm like oh no you have to work hard and because I had been conditioned in that work hard mentality so the the feminine side the laziness the stinginess these are are all parts of my shadow that I had to become aware of but the other thing too is it's one thing to just become aware of it it's another thing to begin embracing it because once you reach a balance in all of these in the two different sides of you you learn to embrace the Opposites with you you reach this sublimation this transmutation into your highest

self and the only way the the best way to do that is to eliminate a bias that we all possess the consistency by so in this next part we're going to go deeper into that before I jump into that part you can access our exclusive email list where I shared weekly updates of mine things I've been reading ideas I've been pondering and exclusive bonuses that I can't really share on the channel because of the Channel's limitations all you need to do is go to reality creator.com list and you'll be able to gain access to all

of those especially the identity shifting boot camp which you'll get direct access to as soon as you sign up so let's jump into part two right now in this next part we're going to be talking about embracing opposites this is probably one of the most important things that you have to have to understand because life is a very Dynamic process and we're constantly in the process of becoming and being the number one reason people fail to grow is because of this consistency bias they're very hellbent on holding on to their old selves and has it

ever happened to you you you have gone back to an old environment either whether it be with your parents or old friends and all of a sudden you started to notice yourself slipping back to how you used to be that's because environments shape who we are and so when you change an environment you move to a new country or New City you almost you know the environment used to be a part of your identity this is quasi and quasi lives here and quasi surrounded by this environment so these environments have a way of bringing us

back to that old state of being but our state of being is always in a state of continual Evolution okay so to have what you truly want you must first be who you truly are and who you truly are is not a static one me and one not me it's a dynamic process of evolution it's that higher self that consists of all of those different personas the Shadow the anima animus the ego they all contribute to your higher self the existence of all of these different personas and the other personas K young talks about is

what constitutes this whole higher self your true self so why is it so hard for us to become who we want to be to evolve and why do we face so much conflicts within our psyche one concept you have to understand is the concept of pendulums please pay attention to this all around us there are these pendulums and if you notice a pendulum You observe the behavior of a pendulum it moves moves back and forth and what pendulums do they are these energy structures that are spontaneously formed all around us by Collective ideology meaning religious

groups sports teams people who have similar ideas business groups masterminds it's not necessarily a bad thing there are constructive pendulums and there are destructive pendulums the ones that we're watching out for are destructive pendulums because destructive pendulums take our energy and take us away from our goals constructive pendulums take our energ and Deliver us to our goals so for example the difference between a business Mastermind a personal development group versus a gossip group you know a bunch of single moms complaining about men and how and shunning men and saying like oh men are evil men

are the worst but then deep down they actually want a fulfilling relationship but because they get together in Gossip they find solace in it in their own situation pity party and it manifest their reality of staying single right whereas a business group of a group of people coming together and talking about how easy it is to make money and how you know you can we can grow together and help each other out that also is a pendulum but it delivers you to a constructive goal that you are actually trying to reach if your goal is

to stay a single mother and be proud then that's great wonderful but if your goal is to find a loving fulfilling partner and I know this is harsh to say if your goal is to have that then you have to get rid of these destructive groups start being friends with people who are in healthy relationships no other way to it who you surround yourself with is the energy that you surround yourself with and that's what you get in your life life you're the average of your three closest friends okay so this is how pendulums condition

us they spontaneously form by like-minded energy so if you imagine a group of people come together a pendulum naturally forms because of their Collective energy coming together and this pendulum starts swaying at that frequency the frequency of single moms complaining about men or the frequency of businesses doing very very well that's the frequency of that pendulum so if you imagine a group imagine a pendulum right there and these pendulums typically all have a leader and a star okay the pendulum always puts a star above even this YouTube channel is a pendulum it's a pendulum of

these ideas the ideas of personal development the ideas of manifesting the reality that you want this is a pendulum and the Pendulum always puts a star at the top okay and that star work walks their own path the only way you can be free of a pendulum is when you walk your own path the only way to walk your own path is to shut down the mind and follow follow your heart your heart's core true desires become who you truly are so the reason why we get stuck with this consistency bias of trying to embody

and holding on to who we used to be is because we're afraid that our friends will no longer accept us if we change because we have been praised for being a certain way oh quasi you're just so nice you know you're the nicest person in the world you know you're so agreeable and it's such a pleasure to be around you you feel praised like a little kid getting praised from a parent and you're like oh man they like me they've accepted me and our biological conditioning is wired to never get shunned out of the tribe

because if we get away from the tribe if we get cost out of the tribe then we will be left to fend for ourselves and we will die it's time to rewire that old biological programming that's hundreds of thousands years of evolution you know it's going to take some time for you to rewire it but it is possible and it's only possible when you walk your own path okay so when someone prays us we have to be mindful about what we do with that praise because it will form an identity it it makes us feel

good so we want to hold on to it like oh I love good feelings yes I love being praised praise is awesome and then you start to hold on to that identity and you want to be consistent with that identity okay now I must please everyone I've pleased this one person Mission success they've accepted me into the tribe now I must please everyone else but then you fall susceptible to a pendulum and you don't know most of the times if it's constructive or destructive how do you break free you walk your own path so to

give you an example if you look at influences they're constantly changing their minds they're always one day they'll say one thing next day they'll just do something completely left fielded right they're not afraid to change it up because they follow their hearts and that's why influencers have so many people they're influencing because they don't care about following an ideal they do what their hearts desire right all these creative types like Kanye West like you know people still would listen to music he drops people would still buy his stuff people still follow him because he's not

afraid to voice his own ideas and his own opinion he kind of in a way has his shadow very very well expressed you know it it's not being repressed or cost to the side he's not afraid to channel that side of him and so for me I had this people pleasing tendency where I had to please everyone because I got buied and I was like I have to be accepted by the tribe and so I was trying to be very neutral very very pleasurable a pleasure to be around and this kind of blocked the uh

the growth of my YouTube channel at some point because I got a certain level of success with my videos and I was like oh I don't want to make videos on that I don't want to make videos on this oh no what would people think of me if I start speaking like this if I started cursing and so I would be very very you know I would take up this Persona and I would hold on to that Persona even though it was time for me to evolve from that Persona do you see what I'm saying

when you hold on to an identity it prevents you from growing you have maturational blocks because you're no longer that identity but you're still playing that character it's like playing one character that ego self holding on to it for the rest of your life it's no longer you you're not being authentic to who you truly are and here's a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson that is going to blow your mind check this out he says a foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little Minds adored by little Statesmen and philosophers and divines with consistency a great

Soul has simply nothing to do he may as well concern himself with a shadow on the wall speak what you think now in hard words and tomorrow speak what tomorrow thinks in hard words again though it contradict everything you said today so you shall be sure to be misunderstood is it so bad then to be misunderstood Pythagoras was misunderstood and Socrates and Jesus and Luther and cernus and Galileo and Newton and every pure and wise spirit that ever flesh to be great is to be misunderstood to break free of these pendulums is to be misunderstood

and when you have the courage to walk your own path for long enough these pendulums will have no choice but to make you the star because I broke free of that nine-to-five pendulums back in 2019 started making these videos on this channel and I started to walk my own path the path that felt true and pure to me I was able to grow a subscriber base of 800,000 and you know start doing a million dollars a year in in a business that I'm very very passionate about and do what I love every single day that's

because I had the courage during that moment to break free of the mold and not go for the secure career the consistent career and be so consistent and secure but go to uncertainty to go go to insecurity unsecured know then that this is what it would evolve to I didn't know what was happening I just knew what I didn't want and and I knew what I did want and I just trusted my heart which leads me to the key when you're facing conflicts within yourself your mind says one thing but your heart says another what

do you do always listen to Your Heart Take the path of uncertainty take the path of low Security even though you don't know how things are going to pan out and who knows what if things turn out better than you could have ever imagined you want to leave the job you know your heart is saying it's the right thing to do but your mind is like I need security I need security go ahead and leave the job what if you find a better opportunity I can't tell you how many times that's happened with our clients

one of our clients Kristoff it's recently happened to him where he started working with us in December and by January you know he was making 2 to 3K a month in his spagg business and he went from making 2 to 3K a month to completely shifting into a new version of himself going out there and pitching his services and charging more for it and within one month he went from making 2 to 3K a month to Breaking past 12K a month within the first 20 days of the month but a few months after that he

went ahead and started speaking as an expert in front of 10,000 people online when in the past he would have rejected that opportunity because it was too scary to do it made him too nervous but he took the courage and he did it even though he felt nervous he stayed in that tension of nervousness and that's what I'm going to show you how to do in this next part the most important part of this of all of this is how to sublimate that personality how to stay in that tension instead of succumbing to the Shadow

or instead of succumbing to the ego or repressing the shadow both are sins that we don't want to commit we want to learn how to properly deal with it and that's where learning proper surrender or proper staying with attention and full acceptance comes in so let's get to this next part part three right now one of the biggest problems I had recently was in accepting that I'm not perfect because in social media I present this image on my Channel that I have this perfect life perfect wife perfect kid made the business Etc but under the

surface people don't see all of the struggles that I actually go through so it's difficult for me to sometimes present that because I'm attached to this idea of perfectionism and I'm trying my best to be consistent with that idea that I'm putting forward so From This Moment forward today understand that I'm not perfect my diagrams are not perfect and I have a lot of arguments with my wife and I have a lot of problems in my marriage and relationship but we somehow end up resolving it and I take it one day at a time and

uh because I had been in the past attached to trying to portray this Persona this ego self I suffered so the one thing that we're going to talk about right now is the difference between wholeness and goodness wholeness is greater than goodness and there's a great quote by K young talking about this where he says I would rather be whole than good and so I emplore you to explore this one idea who suffers most in life a good man or a bad man the person who perceives himself to be good actually suffers more because he

suffers his conscience but whereas the person who views himself as bad just lives life freely and takes every single moment as it is good person bad person I just am I just do whatever the I want which typically to most people makes that person a bad person right but if you take life as it is you're living freely you're living without tension you're living without fear you're living without anxiety what a beautiful way to live life it is where I neither good nor bad I just am I simply am and I'm living a full whole

life okay and this is very well depicted in Jackal and Hyde where you know Dr Jackal is this good man who perceives himself to be good but then concocts this drug that turns him into this evil hide and because he channels hide so much he can never return back to jaal or even when he does he just loses consciousness and eventually goes back to high the moral of this story is that even though we have the shadow side of ourselves the act of expressing it is not effective the act of repressing it is also not

effective which leads me to the four main ways in which we deal with all of our personas all of the feelings that come up the lowest way is repression this is where it's unconsciously stuffed away and it starts to show up in our lives and psychosomatic illnesses tension in the neck and the shoulders and other physical issues like liver issues that you don't really know why it's happening cancers you don't know why it's happening something likely is repressed that you haven't quite dealt with and in general you can tell with how much of an ease

you live with every single day how stressed you feel how ease you how much ease you feel compared to before in the past when you were a kid right because chances are when you were a kid you felt a lot easier a lot less stressed so sometimes it gets very difficult because we don't have a relative state of being to compare it with we've just felt like this for such a long time we just assume this is normal how sad is that you assume this is normal you feeling stressed out of your mind every single

day is normal that's insane that's not normal that's illness right so repression is the lowest form of dealing with our feelings that leads to the most problems a level above that is suppression suppression is what happens before we repress something so when something happens that's very very strong right now it invokes a very strong emotional reaction or you don't have time to deal with it like me sometimes when I get into an argument with my wife before a very important meeting I I suppress it I compartmentalize it but if you don't do it consciously it

becomes repression it can't be dealt with it right a level above that is expression where you express you feel angry you punch someone you know you feel upset you just lash out Dr Jackal expressed this Shadow for a really long time and he couldn't turn it off he became the shadow right the highest level of all the way most of the all of the feeling gets dealt with is surrender the downside to expression is sure you deal with a lot of it most of it eventually gets suppressed and the rest of it that you deal

with actually gets propagated it gets stronger just like as I mentioned with Dr Jackal and Mr height with surrender though what happens is the tension within us the tension that you feel it's allowed to exist so the surrender process is simply accepting and easing into the tension there is tension within us let's ease into it okay let there be this tension so what I started to do was when I would get into these arguments and these fights and these things would happen before I make a video before I get into a very important meeting that

could completely change the trajectory of our business this happened this fight happened I'm not going to try to stuff it out it's okay it happened there is a feeling of tension that tension is allowed to exist stay stay with the tension when you stay with the tension all of the personas within you the bonds between them are intact they're not becoming loose bonds okay they are all allowed to exist within you and that tension like a pressure cooker it dissipates it dissipates and it creates a cohesive bond which indiv which leads eventually to individuation of

you becoming whole this is if I could share one thing this would be the most important thing that I could share with you you anytime you're not winning anytime my life is not perfect and I insist on it being perfect I ease into the imperfection of it because sometimes when things are going really well I look at the one or two things that could be better like oh you know business is going so well but ah if I just had that one thing and I remember the very first time I hit my Revenue goal that

I tried to hit for a long time the 20K month that I wanted to hit and I hit 21k month and I was like you know what if I just closed like those two extra clients that would have been a $29,000 month man that would have been so much better instead of being happy for the 20K that I did hit that I've been trying to hit for the past 12 months I'm focusing on what I didn't get what would have made it even better what would have made it even perfect the glass half empty instead

of the glass the part of the glass that's already half full how ridiculous is that how many times have you done that in your life where you focused on the one or two things that are missing rather than the 99 things that you already have why why do we do this it's because we've trained ourselves to be this way we've trained ourselves in the mindset of scarcity and lack There Is Never Enough and because there is Never Enough it gets reflected to us we never see enough and so when we start to stay with that

tension that feeling instead of trying to run away from it instead of trying to escape it by expressing it or trying to repress it by stuffing it down which are both ineffective by the way repressing it is ineffective expressing it is ineffective stay with the tension of that feeling anytime you find yourself engaging in addictive behavior before you engage in that behavior instead of engaging it replace it with the tension of the feeling in your body that's craving it it's craving that addiction stay with that feeling for as long as it takes don't run away

from it by engaging in the behavior if you want to keep checking your phone instead of checking your phone replace that with observing the tension within your body and staying with that tension and I can promise you within just two weeks time you're going to become a completely different person you're going to completely change and a and in a very very positive way and you're going to notice a lot more ease in your life and a lot more of these Cravings coming up and in general you're going to find that you're not being run by

unconscious forces anymore and all of this self- sabotage you see happening like you can't explain why this is happening why I get to the last stage in my business and then all of a sudden an obstacle shows up or something else shows up I keep manifesting negative outcomes that's that's why there's an unconscious part of you that's running your life and until you make the unconscious conscious it will always run you and you will call it fate okay so in this tension this tense State the ego gets stretched and the rational mind can't function pay

attention to this which allows a direct Pathway to Faith and the heart in such a state of tension the grace of God is able to operate within us whe where there is consciousness of a problem the self within us can operate and bring about an irrational synthesis of the personality you can't solve a problem from the same state of consciousness that created it you have to transcend it the logical reasoning ego mind can't solve this there needs to be something greater we must cast the burden to something greater within us and that is the God

within each and every single one of us the next part to this is learning how to consciously shift your identity at every single stage in your life and we do this with our paid clients in our reality monery program but I've made a resource the identity shifting boot camp that will teach you how to do this for yourself it's completely free to access all you need to do is click on one of the links here to go ahead and access it or the pinned comments and not only will you get access to that but also

other exclusive material every single week as a bonus for joining our exclusive email list so go ahead click one of these buttons here to access the identity shifting boot camp and I'll see you in this next page right now thanks