My Husband Cheated With My Son's 18-Year-Old Girlfriend / Reddit Family Tales / Best Reddit Stories

my husband cheated with my son's 18-year-old girlfriend and I was shocked to discovered all of his dirty secrets I'm going to use pseudonyms for anyone I reference in this post I 41 female am a stay-at-home mom my husband 48 male whom we'll call Paul Works in finance we have been married for nearly 20 years we have two kids whom we'll call Eric our 18-year-old son currently a senior in high school and Mary our 15-year-old daughter they are both the lights of my life my marriage with my husband has grown somewhat stale over the years for

a myriad of reasons such as his work schedule and how I've aged poorly since we first met our son Eric has a girlfriend whom he's been dating since they were freshmen in high school we'll call her Amy Eric absolutely adores Amy she's his first love and she's someone I've always considered as family this makes the whole situation emotionally excruciating for me last week I inadvertently saw my husband's phone screen and got a glimpse of a text thread between my husband and Amy our son's girlfriend and I read what looked like a message of her telling

him that she misses eating his sausage I froze in place in complete disbelief I spent most of the day convincing myself that I must have misread what I saw however I didn't misread it because over the last several days I discovered a file on his computer filled with tons of BDSM porn he clearly has a porn addiction he also has saved photos of Amy from her Instagram on his computer although they weren't inappropriate she was fully clothed it was still the proof I needed to confirm that I wasn't going crazy I also looked at at

his phone during opportune moments and saw more of their interactions I wish I had never looked how I inadvertently saw it he was on his phone he did not have iMessage open currently on the screen but the application was still open you know how on the iPhone when you swipe up it shows all of the applications that are open and you can close them when he was closing out the applications something he does compulsively I noticed it it's not like he was some kind of idiotic buffoon having a message open for all to see I

saw he forgot he had the application running when he swiped up from a completely different app when I first stumbled upon the messages between Paul and Amy it was like a punch to the gut I remember sitting there my hands trembling as I held his phone the screen lit up with words that felt like slashes across my heart it wasn't just the shock of betrayal it was the way they spoke about me Paul had taken the insecurities I confided in him and turned them into cruel jokes for his Amusement with Amy they were filled with

mean horrible things said at my expense with him constantly comparing me to her he would call me fat and old among other things with Amy lelling the messages were sprinkled with Emojis and lels a casual cruelty that made my stomach churn in one exchange he'd written can you believe she tried to wear that dress last night looked like a sausage trying to burst its casing Amy replied with a string of laughing emojis and added she's so old she probably thinks it's still in style and it wasn't just comments about my looks they talked about my

intelligence my interests the way I talked I saw words like boring dull and predictable used to describe the Life I Lived the life I had built with him each message felt like they were erasing the love and respect I thought we had shared for nearly two decades at one point I read a message from him that said at least you're fun being with her is like living in slow motion Amy had replied LOL you need someone who can keep up with you not slow you down it was as if I wasn't even a person to

them just a thing that was in their way an obstacle to joke about as they continued whatever this was between them sitting there with each message I felt myself shrinking becoming smaller and more insignificant these weren't just Idle Words they were a window into how little I meant to the person who was supposed to love me most and Amy a girl I had mentored laughed along with him bonding over the ridicule they piled on me the Betrayal wasn't just his it was hers too a double-edged sword cutting deep I remember closing the app the screen

going dark and looking up at our family photos on the wall across the room the contrast between the smiling happy faces in those pictures and the scorn in those messages was overwhelming it was in that moment surrounded by The Echoes of their laughter that I realized the man I married was not the man smiling in those pictures and I was left wondering how many times they had shared a laugh at my expense how many times my pain had been their punchline I've always had hunches or paranoid feelings that Paul has been cheating on me but

never in a million years could I have fathomed something like this last month I found a thong in our bedroom that I know wasn't mine nor my daughter I turned a blind eye to it being naive and acting like it was maybe our daughters even though that made zero sense not only is he cheating on me but he's betraying our son I'm completely devastated I don't even think words can adequately describe the dread anger shock I feel right now I'm totally overwhelmed on how to handle this because obviously action needs to be taken but I'm

terrified of what kind of psychic blow this will be for my son I have no idea how to even Broach this completely [ __ ] up topic with him I wouldn't wish this predicament on my worst enemy I can't can't even believe I married this scumbag in the first place and then my mind started to race realizing that I started noticing specifically unusual behavior from him around the same time Amy turned 18 she's been 18 for 5 months now I haven't been able to gauge when their Affair started I'm trying my hardest to figure that

out he deletes his texts every couple of weeks it seems like so I haven't been able to pinpoint when this whole thing started was he waiting for her to turn 18 before pursuing this affair there's so many layers to all of this and I'm completely paralyzed with fear and dread about at all none of it makes any [ __ ] sense how did this happen am I that much of a stupid idiot that I let all of this happen under my watch Eric adors Amy and the thought of revealing this sickening truth to him terrifies

me the impact on his young heart and mind could be devastating my heart aches for Eric and Mary who are completely innocent bystanders I haven't confronted my husband about this because I'm frankly scared of the domino effect I don't know who to turn to First about this I share my story not for sympathy but in search of understanding and perhaps advice from those who might have had to Grapple with deep betrayal thank you for listening thank you everyone for overwhelming support I'm sorry if I haven't responded to your private messages I'll get to it when

I can dealing with a lot right now and taking a lot of steps that need to be taken I'm trying to be smart and strategic with this truly surreal and terrible situation I'm in I want to be clear that not telling my son about this was never something I was considering I didn't mean to make it seem that way I was just saying I'm intensely dreading it but obvious ly it needs to be addressed it's one part of the many steps of My overall plan I'm currently playing dumb and collecting as much evidence as I

can so I can be prepared for anything and everything I'm going to protect myself and I'm going to make sure I don't put myself in any potential Harm's Way I'll post a more thorough update soon when I can but please know you've all touched my heart so much and made me feel less alone update one my brother connected me to a very tough junkyard dog type lawyer I saved screenshot of all his conversations with Amy I was only able to get the last 3 months from iCloud the conversations were mostly flirty and dirty talk it

was hard to stomach completely Sleazy and I saw several negative things said about me his call history showed he talks with her for hours pretty consistently he uses dating apps I took screenshots of his profiles and all of the active chats he has with his matches it's very clear he uses a filter to seek out girls who are 1822 or so I copied all of his files from the computer he goes on sex chat rooms and forums and he spends a ton of money on only fans I rummaged through every possible hiding spot I could

think of in the house he had various toys blindfolds cuffs lubricants Etc he also had different outfits which looked kind of like a girl's Catholic school uniform and a frenchmaid type outfit too I picked up Eric and Mary from school and we all drove to my brothers they were able to sense something was aai when I picked them up I delicately told them the entire situation and I broke down crying Mary had the most anger even more than Eric I met with Amy's mother and told her everything she confiscated Amy's phone and gave me the

entire chat log it only dated back 3 months like on my husband's Cloud almost as if they both deleted the messages at the same time she told me Amy sobbed when confronted Amy basically told her mother that she will never understand and that she and him are in love I don't want to get into too many details with what else she was saying but suffice to say it's very easy to assume that my husband slowly and methodically became a sage-like figure in her life making her feel she could rely on him and he took advantage

of the fact that she came from a broken home Amy is also nonstop insistent that their friendship only became romantic physical recently and before that she said he was more of a friend and Mentor I confronted Paul over Zoom the moment I hit join on the zoom call my heart was hammering in my chest I could barely hold the mouse steady as soon as Paul's face popped up on the screen I knew this wasn't going to be a calm discussion his face was flushed his hair disheveled as if he'd been running running his hands through

it all morning and his eyes they were wild darting around before they locked onto the camera the look on his face was scary he became red and looked so sweaty he had anger and panic in his eyes his tone of voice was very defensive and frightening I started off trying to keep my voice steady Paul we need to talk about what's been going on before I could even get another word out he cut me off context you don't understand the context he blurted out his voice loud and shaky he kept repeting the word like a

mantra but never explained what he meant by it his hands were visibly shaking gripping what looked like a stack of papers on his desk I've seen the messages Paul between you and Amy I continued trying to keep the accusation out of my voice hoping to keep him calm but it was like I'd lit a fuse none of that happened you're making things up he shouted his face now a deep shade of red his voice was so loud I had to pull the laptop slightly away from me it was frightening to see him like this so

unhinged he was not the man I thought I knew I tried to reason with him Paul I have screenshots I've seen everything please we need to discuss how we're going to handle this situation with the kids he slammed his fist on the desk making the camera shake you have no right to take my kids away from me you're trying to ruin everything his tone was accusatory and each word felt like a verbal assault I remained where I was my own hands now trembling Paul you need to calm down we need to figure out a way

to I don't need to calm down you're the one who is overreacting you're the one who's destroying our family his words were almost a growl now his face so close to the camera that I could see beads of sweat on his forehead it was then that the real fear set in the intensity in his eyes the anger in his voice it all pointed to a man who was losing control I realized I wasn't just dealing with infidelity but with someone who could potentially be a danger to me and the kids his demeanor was threatening almost

as if he was right there in the room with me ready to explode he kept yelling the word context over and over again and that none of that happened he was unable to speak without constant stutters and intensity nothing really made any sense to me I refused to tell him where I was and he said I had no right to take his kids away from him I'm ending this call Paul we will talk later when you're able to discuss this calmly I said my voice barely a whisper you can't just hang up on me you

can't just but I didn't wait to hear the rest I ended the call my heart pounding in my ears and then he abruptly left the zoom sitting there staring at the blank screen I knew that this was far more serious than I had initially thought his reaction was not just defensive it was volatile I picked up my phone immediately and called my lawyer explaining the urgency and the need for a restraining order the level of aggression he'd shown was enough proof that I needed to protect myself and my kids that call was supposed to be

about confrontation and truth but it turned into a chilling revelation of the depth of Paul's anger and instability it was clear that this wasn't just about heartbreak or betrayal anymore it was about safety my lawyer is filing for temporary soulle custody of Mary and a restraining order Mary is still the most angry she's totally furious with her dad and Amy justifiably so of course Mary is recollecting moments in time she watched her dad interact with her friends and she's in knots about it Eric is very clearly hurting but he's so strong and very level-headed he

wants to see a therapist the maturity my kids are showing makes me proud they don't deserve this at all Eric hasn't spoken to Amy yet since finding out the news and I'm not sure if he ever will again both me and my son are going to get tested and checked out as well there's no telling how many different women he's been sleeping around with as for Amy her mom has been in contact with me and Amy has been threatening to run away with him because they are in love we made the authorities aware of everything

I plan on being completely unforgiving and ruthless in this divorce I'm reflecting on how I've been treated and how it's made me a Shell of myself and how I've had a very negative opinion of myself because of him over the last 20 years I don't want to let this scumbag get away with it I want to reinvent myself and move on stronger than ever update 2 thank you again for all the love and encouragement it gives me Comfort and means so much to me I've received many comments and messages accusing me of Faking this story

which oddly also provides Comfort because all of this feels unreal even to me it validates my own feelings that there are people out there who can't even fathom this being true I wish it were fake I've been focusing on and worrying about how others are feeling over this somewhat ignoring my own feelings which I'm trying to change I range from anger to numbness like a light switch we're all safe and still at my brother's house we're very careful and his house is secured Paul has tried to call my cell phone several times a day I

am refusing to interact with him and I will have my lawyer handle all correspondance he scares me frankly my brother has a very secure house with an alarm system and deadbolt locks we feel safe with him both my son and I got checked out and tested it appears so far that we're both clean based on the immediate rapid tests but but in the coming days we'll know for certain when the lab results come in I'm not overly concerned we've set up an appointment with a therapist for him next week which I'm relieved about he needs

someone to talk to someone professional who can help him navigate through this Maze of hurt and betrayal he's found himself in it's not just the Betrayal itself but who's behind it his father someone he looked up to and Amy who was practically part of our family that's a lot for anyone let alone an 18-year-old to process he's not himself right now he seemed a bit shellshocked and I am concerned he internalizes a lot and it's hard to get a read on what's going on in his head despite his own turmoil Eric's concern for me has

been touching almost heart-wrenching he often asks how are you holding up Mom his voice carries a maturity that it shouldn't have at his age it's clear he's trying to shoulder some of my burden too to be strong for both of us but I can see it's wearing on him every so often I catch that look in his eyes a mix of sadness and resolve that no child should have to bear towards their parents he's not interested in corresponding with his dad at all he calls only my cell phone he hasn't tried to contact Eric or

Mary which is both a relief and a deep cut it's as if with everything out in the open he doesn't know how to face them or chooses not to Eric doesn't seem interested in reaching out either when I mentioned his dad the other day there was a brief flash of something like anger or maybe pain in his eyes before he quickly masked it with neutrality I don't have anything to say to him right now he said and left it at that I get the sense that Paul is ex extremely nervous he's scared and I think

he deep down knows that if investigated thoroughly he would be in big trouble that's what my gut is telling me I still think about the zoom call with him and the more I think about it the more it looked like he was a man whose entire world was crashing down on him the panic in his face was very apparent I offered Mary for me to make an appointment with a therapist as well but she doesn't want to see one yet she said she's open to it eventually but wants time to herself she's been asking her

friends about her dad and if they experienced any creepiness from him her friends were open and honest with her and apparently they felt like he stared a lot and sensed his hovering presence whenever they were over one of Mary's friends went so far as to say that she felt like he was checking her out a lot like looking at her rear and complimenting the color of her yoga pants at the time no issue was brought up about it but in light of everything that has been happening it seems strange now he would sit himself in

different areas or Vantage points to get a good view of her she claimed he also asked questions about what kind of friend group or which click they were in at school he he kept asking about if they were popular girls I'm completely embarrassed that they had this experience at our house as for updates on Amy which is the main reason why I wanted to write this update I completely agree that she is also a victim a lot of people have been emphasizing that and I agree I've done everything I could in my own power to

indirectly get her opportunities to get help like I said I told her mother and she's been updating me on everything Amy unfortunately is still living in her diluted reality and I can only pray that she'll eventually come to her senses she doesn't want to see any doctors or therapists at all and has been constantly trying to reach Paul because again she believes that they are in love from what I've been told she hasn't been able to get hold of him and he's been avoiding communication with her completely Amy blames me for that and believes I

took away his devices and I'm very controlling any truth that her mother tries to convey to her is met with conspiracy theories and hostility Amy looks at me as a villain and still sees Paul through rose-colored glasses her mother showed her screenshots of his dating app profiles and matches and she refuses to believe it saying I Photoshopped it according to her mom Amy keeps saying things like everyone is just mad because she found herself a real man and that I'm jealous because she takes better care of him than I do it's in line with some

of the conversations I screenshot where a lot of what Paul says is him complaining about things I don't do for him sexually right now she's insistent that she and Paul will be together in the long run GH he's honestly a slime ball I believe stuff happened before she was 18 too I'm not sure when things got actually fix physical or romantic but I do think his grooming started as soon as she came into the picture when Eric started dating her freshman year this mentor and a friend that Amy alluded to had to start right away

and the way she's acting now being so indebted and believing every single thing he says shows that his effect on her had to be over a long period of time she only turned 18 like 5 months ago her behavior and infatuation for him seemed so strong that it couldn't possibly be only 5 months of them being together the only thing we can really hang our hat on is the possibility of Amy having an epiphany of the reality of her situation and she opens up candidly about when it began but because she's 18 currently and has

no interest in saying or doing anything that could potentially put Paul in legal trouble nothing really can be done unless they find out about other girls that I have no idea about yet I can only hope that Amy comes to her senses but me directly intervening doesn't feel like it would be productive at the moment maybe eventually though update 3 April 8th 2024 the support again has been overwhelming and I'm very grateful sadly I've received a lot of negative accusatory harassing private messages from people here who think I'm faking this story someone made a comment

on some post somewhere claiming that my story has been debunked and people believe that person I've seen an uptick in negative messages accusing me of making this up for money I'm not asking for money at all coming here was completely rooted in emotional desperation and I didn't expect anyone to get invested in my story this way but again I'm not looking for anything out of this I have no reason to lie I'm not gaining anything from this if you don't believe me that's fine I don't care but the only thing I ask is to not

cross the line and start sending me private messages that are mean-spirited or accusatory the only reason I'm continuing to post is because of those of you who've sent me love here and the support really lifted my spirits as for the divorce it's very much underway I'm not going to get into the specifics of it all because it's ongoing and I want to make sure everything is going to go smoothly I got temporary custody of Mary Paul also has to pay temporary child support there's a protective order Paul can't contact us or come near us right

now we're just focusing on getting through this legal mess again not getting into specifics because I don't want to mess anything up but what I'll say is I'm very confident divorce aside that there's overwhelming evidence against Paul that will get him in serious trouble and it will impact him for the rest of his life I'm sure eventually I can share more about that I know a lot of people are concerned about his predatory ways and I just wanted to convey this even though I have to be vague right now Justice will come all of your

concern about how my kids are doing psychologically means a lot to me Eric has been to therapy twice over the last two weeks I know some people thought I was dismissive of him and acting like he's doing okay I very much know that he's hurting internally and we're doing everything we can to make sure he knows he is supported and loved my brother has been amazing in spending time with Eric and Mary and both of them have confided in him about a lot my brother has a very healthy marriage and both he and his wife

have really stepped up to the plate for all of us Mary has not seen a therapist yet but she promises that she will be open to seeing one soon her anger has mostly turned into sadness I noticed and I hope I can get her to see a therapist soon her friends have played a key role in this whole thing and that's something that Mary has been grappling with as well I know a lot of people are invested in the well-being of Amy as well there were a lot of questions about whether Eric and Amy would

still see each other at school it sounded like they go to the same school but they do not Eric and Amy went to the same junior high school and knew each other even then but Amy ended up going to an all girls catholic High School while Eric and Mary too stayed in the public school system we all lived in the same town and over the summer heading into freshman year is when they were getting to know each other and when they started dating I wish I had a better Amy update but it's gotten a lot

worse since the last update after everything blew up Paul has actually been seeing Amy despite her mother trying to force her not to see him she tells me that Amy says she's 18 and an adult and she can do what she wants Amy thinks she's grown her mother confided to me just yesterday her voice laced with frustration and worry she keeps telling me she's 18 and an adult and she can make her own decisions her voice sounded exhausted trapped in an impossible situation her mother is in a precarious spot because if she kicks Amy out

of the house for defying her something that she has threatened to do which I think is a mistake she would just run to Paul permanently the time she spends with Paul has increased over the last week despite the fact that Paul initially ghosted her when all of this first hit the fan there were some days where Amy would just be gone for hours on end her mother tried grounding her taking away her car keys even limiting her phone use but Amy found ways around every barrier she's sneaking out at night her mother told me her

voice breaking I wake up at 3:00 a.m. and her room is empty she won't tell me where she's been but I know I just know it's with him I can't help but feel a mix of anger and sorrow for Amy she's caught in this toxic cycle believing she's in a relationship when it's clear she's being used Paul has not changed his patterns are the same only the target has shifted the worst part is feeling so helpless about it all I've suggested therapy talked about getting her professional help but Amy is stubborn blinded by what she

thinks is love it's heartbreaking and infuriating at the same time there's only so much I could do with the Amy situation but again I do believe things will turn around soon with that given what I know about Paul and what's to come I can only pray that Amy can get help and guidance when more [ __ ] hits the fan I'm doing everything I can with my own kids and my own mental health and Amy's mom knows she has my support and that's all I could really provide