Why the people YOU LIKE DON'T like you BACK: how attraction messes with your head

I'm Dr Orion taraban and this is cycax Better Living Through psychology and the topic of today's short talk is why the people you like don't like you back have you ever noticed this have you ever noticed that when you seem to be really interested in somebody they never seem to reciprocate your feelings on the other hand have you ever noticed that when you can kind of take or leave somebody they seem to be really interested in you isn't that sort of the ironic tragedy of dating I've experienced this phenomenon from both directions over the course

of my life and it took me a long while to figure this one out however before I share this Insight with you please remember to like this episode And subscribe to this channel it takes less than a second costs you nothing and it's a great way to begin to get involved in the community so do the thing now this phenomenon occurs because people are making a fundamental mistake when it comes to dating and attraction most people are not conscious of this mistake but as soon as I bring it to your attention you will likely see

it in operation in your own life it's very easy to communicate the mistake is that folks generally treat the people they are attracted to differently from the people they are not attracted to and why is this a mistake well think about it whatever you're doing with respect to the people you are not attracted to is working those are the people who are actually pursuing you and are trying to enter into a relationship with you whatever you're doing there is working however there's this belief that whatever you're doing wouldn't or shouldn't work on the hotter women

or the men that you really want to get married to and that's not true what works on the women you're not attracted to works on the women you are attracted to what works on the menu don't want to have a relationship with works on the men you do want a relationship with and this is because the men or women that you are attracted to are not different from the men and the women you are not attracted to why because that attraction exists only in your own head it's not an objective empirical fact there are not

two species of people one of which you are attracted to and the other of which you are not there's just one species people and what works on people in general will work on people in particular irrespective of your subjective attraction and just what is it that works in the people that you're not attracted to and that will work on the people that you are if you use it indifference it's the take it or leave it attitude that increases attraction yeah they're nice yeah yeah there's nothing wrong with them and yeah there's probably somebody better out

there that's the attitude you spend time with them great and if you don't you're not really going to miss him you're certainly not going to pursue them or worry about them or anxiously wait by the phone that's the correct attitude to have toward the people that you are attracted to this isn't easy at first and it's probably not going to feel very authentic however you don't necessarily just abandon what works in other parts of your life because you feel a certain way the good news is that you already know that this approach works because it's

likely already achieved the desired result albeit with the undesired Target many times in your past so it's a pretty low risk proposition I have more to say on the subject but I'll leave it for my next episode in the meantime let me know what you think in the comments below and thank you for listening