Bigorexia: Never Buff Enough | BBC Newsbeat

I always feel small mentally I'll end up really bad place as he was running back as she's collapsed on the floor it was to be a massive heart attack to me it's just it's one man children like you know muscular big powerful strong around nine million people have gym memberships in the UK many might never step foot inside but for others it's a second home at first look some of these guys seem like Giants the body's chiseled out of stone but although they may seem fit and healthy around 1 in 10 are thought to be

living with a condition that can destroy their lives it's a kind of reverse anorexia an obsessional getting bigger that's where the name bigger Rex here comes from his official title though is muscle dysmorphia so muscle dysmorphia is a preoccupation with the idea that one is big enough isn't muscular enough and that's causing them great levels of anxiety found depression and that the depression becomes so severe that that could lead them to take their own lives I mean already I'm curious as to what my voices thicker than usual upper chest needs work why is my voice

fake arms are song big enough in comparison to my to my chest my back Pradeep is 25 he lives alone in a flat in East London and identifies with having bigger Exia the thing is I could I could critique myself all day in this mirror and the thing is I'm not I haven't even turned to the back of course of course I always feel small already I feel I'm spending too much time from the mirror in the morning I would look at it I'll just leave now the more I look at it the more I'm

disliking the way I'm not how can anyone the love or enjoy what is here if it boggles my mind because I myself don't like what I'm seeing because I've just critiqued it so much I've taken a visual red marker and analyzed every single pot it's it's it's more than your tickets it's it's a detriment to my mental state and so it's how can anyone else like this if I don't like it there are days I feel disgusted and those days happen when I have not been consistent with the work there's required of me to reach

a goal that's when I feel disgusted by myself and I tell myself what are you what are you doing what why why aren't you reading you means why don't you sleep your own time why are you only sleeping for two and a half three hours a day why why can't you just do the work like a machine looking at the deep it's hard to see what he's saying his biceps are three times the size of mine to try to understand how his mind works a little better we gave him a camera to film himself for

the day right in Swords you get so it's amazing all right so this morning back to Papa said minced beef but what's more important right now is that I find a shirt that hasn't shrunk for me to ever work and that is to this goal as comical as you might find it I have another bodybuilder on my computer heating his own food one camel LeBron I guess is just company now before I pass out on this lovely couch I but to get a move on oh excuse me those very rude he I need to move

muezzin before I sleep so good machine for different body parts Oh your backside shall be out there for working your back mo owns a gym in West Yorkshire the guys here are absolutely massive he's convinced many of his regulars have muscle dysmorphia and some were prepared to go that little bit further to get bigger how many people will be trained here do you think use steroids in your gym either 70% I think you should throw in things I think we've gotta be honest about it opener by sorting the lead to better helping people Marilla when

you get kids as young as 15 company or maybe younger like them ask me to buy sterilized then there are bills go you think she's not right steroids boost muscle growth and not everyone who uses them has muscle dysmorphia but the two can go hand-in-hand although steroids can cause baldness Frumkin testicles and high blood pressure for some they're a quick and easy way to get ripped I'll live a little living room this was system and this is where you know who sat and relaxed and yeah watch the television which one is his father this one

you sit down in it I mean you sit down with it now and there's a constant din because of his big stature Sara believes her son Ollie had bigger Exia and it ended up taking over his life it was high it was always this high it always our goal friend sighs and I said what's not wrong with you you beautiful you gorgeous you wanted the width but it wasn't to prove it to anybody else it would prove it Martha to herself really that I could it could be this person if he wanted to be in

a bid to get bigger all he started taking steroids then when he was 18 he had a heart attack but within a month of coming out of hospital Ollie was back in the gym determined to get bigger just no getting through to Wally at all just no getting through to him about what you were doing to his body nothing you like a drug yeah like I need to go I need to go honey I need this look I need to look like I've got this image in my head and it's look big then age 20

all he had another heart attack this time it was Faizal I'm still missing now still missing now I still talk about there's not a day that goes by where we don't mention Allah's name you know and it'd probably be so much fun oh yeah cuz we're all arias how about you what effect has that had a new personally I just get along Ali's mom told me there's too much pressure on guys to try and look a certain way there are all these media pressures and around now and one of our theories is that it might

actually be the women may be actually adjusted a little bit become better prepared the men to do with all these images and these pressures and the men are probably going to have to catch up a bit in terms of coping with the pressure to look a certain way Sam's 21 he says he had bigger wrecks here when he was younger but got through it right now he's in training for the regional heats of the UK bodybuilding championships the dog food I mean that's my bat pose are you know my wife is looking good their weight

is absolutely tiny thanks how BIG's our waist about 26 inches 26 inches yeah remember I'm about 15 ish 14 and a half stone at the minute what is it about being big which people see so much I just think it looks awesome to be honest to me it's just it's what a man should look like you a muscular big powerful strong may not meant to look like women I mean this is a picture of me when I was younger as well how do you not think I'm about 10 11 in that picture I was about

13 strong we no need what we're stirring a half light enough and yeah that was when I you know got tea well not really teased been it was morning when two senior school but yeah I don't really get teased much not just having dodgy hair this your own school Sam yes your stomping grounds secondary school did you ever get picked on being overweight yeah yeah I did I mean especially from the ages of probably 12 to 15 12 to 14 year they school me stuff like that Shamu as well as my nickname after you know

the killer whatever Sea World I mean did to affect me quite a lot but looking back at the change I've made I feel really proud you know and to this day a lot of those people did call me fat back then and now paying me for diet diet plans you know and asking me for diet plans so who's one you know why does some men develop muscle dysmorphia and others don't is a bit of a 6 million dollar question but there are some sync with some themes such as people being bullied or teased earlier in

their lives it might be that if you've got a family member who's got another psychiatric condition maybe OCD or depression that might be a vulnerability factor and of course there are all these media pressures and around now there's much more pressure on men to have a six-pack and to be muscled why do you think the conditions not taking perhaps as seriously as it should be I think it's difficult because it because it's so similar than a sort of vanity and it's really is much more like an obsession so the average gym goer will when will

maybe go what three or four times a week spend a couple of hours in the gym think about it a little bit during the rest of the day whether that's that some would be that he might go to the gym twice a day and it's been almost all of the week thinking about their appearance other symptoms of bigger exia include putting the gym before your friends and family training while injured and feeling panics if you miss a session could you take a picture of my back just one we look a little bit a little bit

crazy why I can't see my back ok cool what do you think about that ah way wants today not where I wanted to be no work in progress but we'll we'll get there we'll get at some point do you think there's reason for your muscle dysmorphia what's really saying is that who seems a lot from being a young child my parents always endorsed knew a hundred percent whatever you do so from a young age was we studied really hard you give 110% and an A was enough it should be an A plus plus it's in

whatever endeavor I do it's always give more than than is acceptable by anyone else but it looks in great shape he's not taking steroids instead he eats well and works out he says he's managing is bigger XE a lot better now but you have to wonder if he'll ever be truly happy and what effect of growing old will have in his ability to sculpt the perfect body for now he admits he still hasn't completely beat the condition do you think you'll always have muscle dysmorphia it's something you have to learn to live with [Music] let

me answer a question for you very nicely bring the camera look at that mirror look at that mirror okay this is the right side of my body that's shoulder first relation but already let me break this down for you my bicep head told my bicep is it not large enough peak here it's quite flat knees bent around my triceps are too small for my shoulder which make them look in they're not in proportion is unsymmetric in work my forearms legs my back so already when you ask me do I live with it yes but will

I continually critique myself I'll never stop and never be happy with how you know how I will never I'll be happy to certain degree but not completely I'll still say I've only had 90 percent of my potential I wanted other 10 percent you'll always have muscle dysmorphia to some degree I definitely will it won't it won't it won't ever completely go away now [Music]