This NDE Will Give You Goosebumps - I Died & Was Shown Truth About Heaven (NDE)

I drowned and then I was out of my body and in this absolute darkness and then I saw this Speck of light just reached his hand out and when I went to touch it boom We immediately started flying I was in the most beautiful garden I have ever seen or experienced now energies are hitting us and forcing us to wake up I want everyone to know that they are never ever Alone um I have guides and that's wonderful and I can see mine but so do you and everyone listening dying is hard but coming back

to life is even [Music] harder I love diving that was uh for me it was it was my dream job to be a commercial diver and not only on top of that but I got to be the chief engineer of the research where we did the diving so it was a double win for me but on the the day that I had my near-death experience we had just evaluated a new ROV remote operated uh vehicle and it um it was storming and it was getting worse and so we made a run for the harbor and

but the Harbor Master refused our ship entry because there was 25 to 30 foot Breakers at the Breakwater but we had some people on board that one of the design Engineers for this submarine that we were evaluating um needed to get to LAX this is on the California coast and we're up you know up north and so we decided to put you know one of our what we recover our submarines with which was a rubber zodiac in the water and we started heading in and as we were heading in we would uh go up on

the top of a of a swell and cuz 2 miles offshore they're not Breakers or anything just swells at that stage we go up on the top of a swell try to take a bearing on the Harbor buoy and then ride the Troth and go up and do it repeat it all over and all of a sudden we drove right off a 25 30ft breaker and I mean we caught some air and I yelled at him to turn about so that we could go back out to seea because we were in a breaker Zone this

is a very dangerous place to be with a with a boat you know so we he turned us around really quickly but then all of a sudden I looked up and there was the next one that came right down on top of us and it folded that zodiac in half like a peanut butter sandwich I was in the bow and it catapulted me right into the sea and so I'm hanging on to this is an Old World War II vintage kind of Life FES I mean it was incredibly violent and so and I know it

pushed me down deep because I could feel you know I had to relieve the pressure in my ears a couple times so I knew I was down pretty deep and I was waiting for this old May West to you know carry me up to the surface and you know I knew as a commercial diver I knew I could I could hold my breath for about 3 minutes which is a good long time try doing it so I'm trying to let May West carry me to the surface and um it didn't happen and and eventually the

Euphoria of oxygen deprivation takes over and you breathe and I drown I immediately I mean immediately there was just a second of of burning salt water going into my lungs and then I was out of my body and in this absolute Darkness but only it was absolutely quiet it wasn't you know I mean I 25 30 foot Seas is incredibly loud it's like roaring you know suddenly it's quiet it's peaceful I don't feel like I'm being tumbled and tossed and this was in March it's extremely cold water I'm not cold anymore I'm comfortable I just

feel like I'm just suspended in this Blackness but also I didn't really feel alone I felt like I you know there was there was a presence there was it's very hard to describe but it felt like you know that that that everything is involved in this Blackness this Darkness um and so like many people that go in a lot of times they call this the void many people that experience the void a lot of times um is frightening it can be a scary place if suddenly you're in this absolute Darkness totally suspended right but for

me I just came from this violence this this incredible violence where my I was being tumbled and tossed like crazy and to find myself in this absolute calm and quiet and as a commercial diver we're trained to recognize oxygen deprivation and and the danger signs and all that and this has gone way beyond that my training and so I was curious I was incredibly curious as to you know where am I what's going on and then I saw this Speck of light and um uh it it was the only thing to look at in in

this darkness and so you're you're just kind of drawn to it and as I paid attention and put Awareness on this light I felt like suddenly there was movement toward the light and I to this day I don't know if I was moving toward it it was moving toward me but it there was movement toward this light and as I got closer and closer I started feeling these waves of love I felt almost like a warm embrace I just I was just mystified by this and so I kept getting closer and closer and the closer

I got I started to recognize that the light itself wasn't just a beam of light it was Millions upon millions of fragments of light and they were all in movement and they were if you've ever seen like a school of fish um when they're when they're all balled up together and suddenly they'll take a change of Direction and they all shift at the same time and you can see the all the different multitudes of colors in their scales and that sort of thing well all these fragments of light were multiple you know colors they all

had that same kind of uh movement and I was just in awe I was just in awe of what I was experiencing and I kept getting closer and closer and closer and I was feeling more loved and loved and and So eventually three fragments broke away and they started coming approaching me coming toward me and as they did I understood I it was it was a clear sense of communication but I understood that they were welcoming me home and I was just I mean I was just overwhelmed with this love and this welcoming that I

was receiving and eventually a dozen of these light fragments came and and they were all greeting me and I realized that at this point that I had become a fragment of light and they communicated with me to that we were going to go deeper into the light and as we did we went into this area to me it felt very spherical a big giant ball and we went inside and um and once we got inside it was like I started reliving my my life and it wasn't like watching a movie screen or anything as simple

as that it was much more involved because it felt like I was reliving it but not only from my point of view but from everyone I'd ever interacted with from their point of view and so um that was mindblowing to say the least um and so again I was in absolute awe and but then I started to realized what I was watching and that I also realized that this group of beings that greeted me that came into this area this sphere with me were experiencing it the same way I was so they were reliving my

life through my um Life review you know I mean that's that's what it really is a Life review and um and so I was like I was a little because I was a Brash young man I mean I was really a Brash young man um I really didn't care about other point people's points of view I was very self-involved and um and and so we started experiencing because this is more experiencing because I'm I it's not just my point of view but it's like my Consciousness fragmented into these multiple streams and I'm experiencing it from

whoever I've interacted with their point of view it was like it was just multi-dimensional viewing this uh life and uh and and I did you know I was very self-involved so I you know I stepped over people I ran over people I didn't I really didn't care and and but my soul family was experiencing this the same way I was because that's what I call them now as my soul family and I was a little bit ashamed of some of the things that I was doing but they they weren't they were just loving me subing

me and just observing um they weren't there was no judgment whatsoever it was just observation of what was going on the Judgment that was happening was happening within me more than anything and and I got to see things um in a way that that just um again in awe I was in absolute awe where I would uh see things that I did with with just pure loving intention without any thought of of something for myself those would create these incredible ripples when I did something that um like I I had a huge ego all right

and something that really fed my ego like becoming the chief engineer of a research vessel in my mid 20s I that was incredible for me meant very little in the near-death experience it it um it it caused the least amount of ripples okay but when I did something with loving intention for someone it created these IM immense ripples of After Effects you know so I was you know so I got to see this and I got to you know kind of try to figure out oh the meaning of all of this that's going on all

around me the multiple streams of of input that I was receiving and then we got to a point where I saw I started seeing things that I didn't have reference for in my lifetime and I didn't realize at the time but I was seeing my future potential um and I was it disoriented me a little bit but my my my I call them my soul family they supported me they loved me they booed me up so that we could experience this potential that was available to me and it was like looking down a corridor where

everything in the in front of you was crystal clear just like the Life review was was everything and and everything that I experienced re-experienced in my life was absolutely clear once we got into future potential life um it was it was just the very Central path seemed clear but on the periphery you could see there was other aspects that you you know and it felt like if I wanted to I could go this way or I could go that way you know but it felt like I I was always drawn to this Crystal Clear Central

path and so as we proceeded down I got to see and and experience because you're really it's more more than seeing it was experiencing this um potential future and but I reached the one finally reached this one point where the light itself okay these millions upon millions of fragments of light spoke in unison and I perceived this to be God spoke to me and it said this is not your time you have to you must return and I said no way so I was arguing with what I perceived as God I said no I've got

a family that loves me like I've Never Been Loved Before because my family on Earth was you know pretty dysfunctional and so I'm feeling loved like I've never felt before I don't I don't want to go back to that body that body is just broken for me and so the light again it spoke one more time it said you must return you have a purpose and it was with this parental voice that was just so loving and the word purpose just resonated I mean it just resonated through my being and with that and because we're

in this light okay where we have this ability to it's like we're connected to all the souls that ever were and all the souls that ever will be so you have this expansive Consciousness that's available to you and that word purpose just resonated through my body and I understood it and it was simple it was efficient and I could the only option was to just come to acceptance that yes you know this is what really needs to happen and with that I found myself outside my body and it's still in the breaker Zone there's a

there's an area in the in the wave cycles that you can get caught up and just keep spinning and spinning and so um my body is caught up in this like Vortex underwater deep and um but I'm standing out outside my body and the three original light beings that greeted me were with me and we're watching my body and some of the wreckage from the Zodiac and specifically the bow line had come in close proximity to my body and it started to wrap itself around my arm and and all of a sudden another set of

waves hit and when they did it there was some air left in in one of the pontoons of the zodiac the Zodiac um popped up popped up and when it did it cinched that line around my arm and it pulled my body up and when it did I got tangled up in the wreckage of this zodiac and and what was left of it you know and um and I'm watching this I'm not in my body I'm just observing this and because I had this just this sense of calm and a bit of um I have

to say almost like mystery um of how is the enormity of my light being going to fit in that body and that's what I was was pondering while all of this was going on and a another set of waves came and they started pounding my body up against the wreckage and when it did it pushed some of that um some of that saltwater out of my lungs and at that moment that's when my soul family gave me a gentle push and I felt this vibration as I came back into my body and came back into

physical awareness which is but I still felt like I was half here and half there so I had a little bit of that expansive awareness but it was like evaporating you know it messed with my mind for a long time because to be in the right place to be pushed up against that you know wreckage in order for it to push some of that saltwater out so that I could be resuscitated by by the ocean and by being pounded up against the wreckage um yeah that's not common that's that really messed with my mind for

a long time because I was like okay then that means there's a you know and I also I knew there was a purpose because I you know I saw that so I you know this miraculous resuscitation had purpose behind it and so I'm in my body I'm on the surface but I'm having trouble you know staying on the surface because um and and I'm and I'm coughing up you know saltwater and and I'm I'm just thinking purpose purpose you know what this purpose and it just it was like it was evaporating it was like sand

through my fingers I just I couldn't hang on to it it was and so um and and I started to hear um my mates that were in the Zodiac with me when we had this accident they had stayed on station and and one of them had held onto a flashlight how he how he held onto a flashlight I'll never know but he was you know they were sweeping you know the the ocean when when it would when it would go between waves into a Troth they would you know sweep it to see if they could

find me they were looking for me and so those guys those are my heroes because they stayed on station in a very dangerous Zone okay and um and they found me and they and I was trying to yell back cuz they were yelling for me and stuff like that and I was trying to yell back but you can't after you've swallowed all that salt water and everything and so I um I squeaked and squawked and eventually they found me and they swam over and then we all had a mile to swim in but I kept

going under I kept going under but there was I still had this awareness a greater awareness than I normally have in the in my physical life that there was something wrong with the life vest that I was wearing and so I popped it open and I looked at this is night time you got to realize this is night time it's very dark you got huge waves crashing everything you do is is hard and but I looked at it and there was fiber lining just all over the place and so what happened was the the life

vest failed basically and and it became saturated with salt water and it was actually what was pulling me keeping me from staying on the surface so I ditched the life vest and I could stay up and hang on to what was left of the zodiac cuz it was a float and all of us gathered around which is the smart thing to do in a in in a water you know emergency is to Rally together to sport each other and we all swam that last Mile in together but I like to say you know dying is

hard but coming back to life is even harder because that reality on the other side was hyper real was incredibly yeah it was incredibly real but and then this life feels more dreamlike to me ever since it's just it's always felt a little more dreamlike than that reality that reality was so incredibly you know detailed and and we have that extra ability our Consciousness is so much greater than what we have available here and so you feel dense it feels dense to come back you know um but you know once once we came back my

mates you know um they they um pop my shoulder back in and my my thumb which got dislocated when that line pulled me up then you know we had to uh we had to find our way home you know home and and stuff like that but it was was a really rough night really rough night these experiences can give people after effects and and the after effects that I had I experienced was suddenly I could look into someone's eyes and I would see their light I could see their fragment of light and then I also

started seeing auras at the time I didn't even know what an aura was to me I called them life force energies you know because it was like I don't know what this is and it wasn't something that I'd ever read about or experienced you know and I was pretty science-based individual and then the third thing that really freaked me out was suddenly I would get these knowings I I don't know how to express it any better than I would just know things and um and it wasn't something that I'd studied in school it wasn't something

that I learned in training it wasn't something I experienced in life so where did this knowledge come from it was kind of like these little downloads they started out as just little Whispers of downloads and then they they started getting more intense and more detailed um but it just um it freaked me out and I wanted my old life back I didn't I didn't know what this was I didn't know what to do with it um I'd never heard of anything like this so I felt really isolated because I tried to share it with my

first wife the wife that I had during that time and she freaked out and and so I felt like I couldn't share it with her and and and death when we did underwater research very dangerous work back in the 80s and so to talk about that I had died was kind of a taboo subject as as far as my reasoning was and so I didn't feel like I could share it with my mates I couldn't share it with my wife so I just self-isolated um and I just tried to take what I could accept from

this experience the things that I could accept was I was in my mid-20s so um just have this Life review where you're feeling all this love and but you get to see who you really are you get to see all these interactions and you know the good the bad the ugly you get to see it all and so I realized um I could be I could be a better person and so acceptance I I called it acceptance that I could accept this is who I am and I can be better because what I some of

the what I saw I didn't like and so then the other thing was I also saw that I wasn't a very tolerant person and so I saw that you know a lot of times people are going to cross our paths in life and they're going to and we're not going to agree with their choices and their and and a lot of times you know we react with ego we react with a lot of different things and so but I saw that you know their their life choices are their own I don't you know I could

be tolerant that they're their choices they're not mine they're their choices so and and and the situations that we find ourselves in life many times you know we're not happy with where we are in our with our lot in life right well we could be tolerant that we can make change we can move forward and we can make change and we can be tolerant of those that cross our paths because it's their life their life choices and so acceptance of myself and where I am tolerance of others that was huge for me because remember I

was a self- involved kind of guy that um if I didn't if you crossed my path and you weren't in the going in the same direction I'd either go around you or through you one way or the other so to have suddenly acceptance of myself and tolerance of others was a huge shift and um the third thing that I took from this this experience was um because I was an engineer I saw things pretty black and white and and suddenly I saw that there's a truth that resides within us that's our personal truth and and

so it's not just the factual truth because as an engineer that's what I dealt with was factual truths you know hard and fast hard and cold you know facts and things like that but there's also a truth that resonates within our heart and we feel it in our heart a lot of times and I call that personal truth and so those three things acceptance tolerance and Truth kind of became my Mantra the rest of it talking to what I perceived as God a soul Family Life review but all of that I tried to box up

and put away I tried to cuz I wanted to get on with my life cuz I didn't feel like I I had anybody to share it with and I didn't want to and I also felt like I was going nuts so you got to deal with it somehow and so that was my way of of dealing with it was to try to forget about it but I could accept those three things cuz it it it stays with you that's the problem with it's not really a problem but what happens after these experiences they stay with

you it's like a part of your every day now and um 11 years later I had a second experience yeah I was meditating and um I was told to return to the light I relived the entire experience only this time I had lived 11 years beyond the initial near-death experience and in those 11 years I got this in the Life review I got to see how much I had really changed and so after that second experience um they call it a near-death like experience that you know if you you got to put it in a

category that's what they call it what I learned from that was I had to accept the entire experience I couldn't just cherry-pick acceptance to and truth you know I just couldn't couldn't cherry-pick I had to re really you know honor the entire experience and start to bring it into my reality one of the things that I saw in in my near-death experience when I was looking down that that Corridor of my future life was that I was going to have cancer well in my 40s so a few years that went by and I'd had that

second experience and then I'd also had a number of small experiences that helped me to really integrate these spiritual experiences but I always knew that I was going to have cancer at some point because I saw it in the Life review but I thought it was going to happen you know like in my doties you know maybe 80s 90s something like that you know um but all of a sudden in my 40s I'm sitting at my desk I quit my life at C I started working as a as a manager in dialysis at at a

hospital and um I'm sitting at my office and suddenly my back felt like it exploded I mean I was just viewing everything through this red Haze of pain I mean I and so uh fortunately here I am working as a manager in a hospital so I told my director I went into her office because I was supposed to have a meeting with her I said I'm I'm going to go to the Ed I'm in a lot of pain and um so I I went to the emergency department I presented myself they they did x-rays they

did a whole bunch of stuff they did bunch of tests and I'm in a in a emergency room and the nurse comes in now this nurse I knew personally knew because she was one of my secretaries while she's going to nursing school and so um she comes in and there's tears in her eyes and she's and she's like uh Dave you know the doctor's going to be in here in a minute and and um I recognized that moment from My Life review I had seen that in the Life review and so I had had enough

spiritual experiences that by this point I was like wow I know what's going to happen I know when he comes through the door he's going to come in he's going to kind of be himing and ha and and just you know kind of how do I present that this guy you know has terminal cancer and um and so he's kind of like reluctant when he comes in and sure enough he comes in and and she's teary eyed and I'm you know telling her oh don't worry everything's going to be okay because and so when the

doctor finally tells me he's like you know we'll make you as comfortable as possible because this is is really severe and I was like who wait a minute you know I saw I was going to have cancer but I also saw I was going to live beyond it but I wasn't prepared for a really bad case of cancer you know and so there was a moment where it was like wow this could be my ticket home you know I could go to the other side but also there was the other side where I had seen

I was going to have cancer but I also saw I was going to live beyond it and there was a great purpose in the living beyond it so I was like you know so they wanted to do a whole bunch more tests which they did um they were just going to give me morphine and perco set and and and told me to get my Affairs in order that was the in the emergency room you know but and in the in the workup while they were working up you know the bone studies and all this stuff

but anyway I uh because they found I had lesions not only in my in my um lungs but it had metastasize into my spine ate away 2 and a half bones of my thoracic and my spine had collapsed because the tumor could no longer support the weight of my spine and they found lesions in my hip my brain and my kidneys so they it was stage four it was rapidly expanding and they didn't feel there was much use in treating it but I disagreed because if I can say no to God you know I can

say no to these doctors that's no sweat and um and so I picked my care team and we um started treating it but I also balanced it out with some holistic approaches um because um I you know I had a very strong spiritual guidance and so I didn't like the morphine and peret because when I was really dosed heavy especially with the morphine I couldn't hear spirit I couldn't hear my spirit communication got cloudy and I couldn't hear it and so that Disturbed me more than the actual uh cancer so I I I had some

amazing experiences one I would call an an Angelic experience where I saw how to um get off of the morphine and use more of mindfulness to control the pain so that I would have the clarity to be able to communicate have my spirit communication that was CR that was critical in my life you know and so I needed that in order to determine how I was going to overcome the cancer I I was very fortunate that um within 6 months I was on uh chemo and radiation at the same time um and within 6 months

I guidance my spirit guidance was telling me that things had improved and I asked to you know if they would do another pet scan because that shows all the active cancer cells you know and they um begrudgingly it took a while a little bit of convincing because in their reality I was on the road to you know to the grave and and they didn't even want to treat me but it was because I have P patient rights I was able to get the treatment that I wanted and um and so they they thought that these

were extra unnecessary measures and and that the testing would just be something else and so they were trying to keep me you know they were trying to keep me comfortable they were so they were trying to reduce stress and stuff so so they felt another test that just showed that I was dying of cancer wouldn't be good for me so they kind of put it off but then I I insisted and I I got my test but then nobody read the results for like almost yeah nobody wanted to read the results because they didn't want

to give me the bad news they were trying they in their minds they were being compassionate but um yeah you know but um but anyway they eventually I I was able to convince there was a nurse in the oncology um unit that where I was getting treated that um his brother worked for me in dialysis and so I knew him and so I said hey you know look at I couldn't look at my own chart but I said would you look at the results of that exam that pet pet scan and and let me know

he says well I can't let you know but I can let your doctor know and so he told my doctor and then the doctor came in he goes oh my God you know blah blah we we've got some great results um we we're going to do some more tests and I said well I'll do some more tests but we're going to stop treatment because I know the Cancer's gone and so they wanted to continue treatment and I stopped the treatment I said I don't need to um Cancer's gone I'm going to go on with my

life and I had to live with a collapsed spine for almost a year before they would agree to even do the surgeries to I Live Now with a tianium construct to rebuild my spine and and I lost the feeling in my feet and my hands um so I'm I'm very severely disabled and I live with pain because the titanium and the bone don't like you know they don't they don't expand and contract the same rate so um so they they create a lot of pain and but that's my life and and but I choose not

to allow that to keep me from living life in life um it's kind of like a pendulum in a lot of ways um in life a lot of times we have um when we're dealing with our humanness okay the things paying the rent getting on with life things that you know are just purely human um our pendulum kind of swings to The Human Side and and so that fragment of light because I believe that we carry a fragment of that light but the totality of our light still Rel resides in the one with all the

other fragments of light I call that Oneness and so we but we carry a fragment of our totality with us but it expands and contracts as we need so when we're dealing with our human side you know our fragment of light isn't isn't that much you know it's a smaller percentage but then when we swing our pendulum to the spiritual side then that fragment just naturally expands as as needed it's there for us to draw upon but most of the time we feel like we're these separate individuals forging our life all by oursel so we

don't realize that we have this this available to us and what I've learned is that when we touch that light we can go back into the light and when we do we have the ability then to to expand our Consciousness a little bit and then come back and live our life you know and bring more of that loving intention with us after you have those experiences you have you feel this duality of your spiritual self and your human self but bringing it together is is what every experiencer really wants and also you know then you

start to realize that there's this interconnectedness that we all reside in and you know but we don't talk about that either you know so um but experiencers feel that they know that we're interconnected we've experienced it on the other side that we have this you know this this ability to connect to one another but we're we're within this veil of separateness where we feel like we're separate individuals but Meanwhile we're constantly sharing energy you and I are sharing energy right now while we're talking you know um I'm I'm sharing a little bit a fragment of

my light experience with you and you're experiencing it in your way you know and so we exchanged this all the time this interconnectedness that we all have but um we don't talk about it it's not part of our everyday understanding or the way that we try to live our life when I was 5 years old I had my first experience actually um I woke up in the middle of the night and my grandfather was standing at the foot of my bed and I'd only met him once before um and he said look I have some

things that I want you to tell my father my father his son um because I'm I'm moving on and so he gave me a message and I I got out of bed and I I walked into my parents room and just as I Come Around the Corner my mother sits up in bed and says what are you doing cuz it's 2:00 in the morning and at the same time the phone rings next to my father's bed and I find out later on that it was the hospital calling to say that my grandfather had just passed

and my mother uh turned to me said look go back to bed and I said well I I I that was the very first time in my parents recognized that I did have a connection to the other side when I was 14 or 15 my parents recognized that I had this ability and it was interfering with my normal life and so they sent me to a private funded psychic Research Center in 1974 and I did past life regression and time suspension and all of these things as a teenager in the early 70s about 14 years

ago I ended up getting incredibly ill and struggled for about a year to the point where I started to have really serious health problems and then ended up being hospitalized five different times in about a three or four month period of time became allergic to all Western medicine once they even gave me drugs in the hospital and I coated out I just I felt myself just leaving my body and they couldn't help me I I couldn't find a way and then it got to this evening uh it was actually January 1st 14 years ago uh

1:00 in the morning I woke up and there's a 10ft tall spirit standing at my bed and having been around this most of my life I was sort of irreverent I just thought gosh I'm really glad I have high ceilings I mean I didn't connect to the reality of it at all right and I I just thought okay so I kind of semi woke up I thought and said what what do you want what are you doing here and it was just huge white being and he just you know they don't talk it's not about

conversation but energetically he said I've come to let you know that I will be returning and I have some things I want to discuss with you and show you and whatever whatever and I thought okay I don't know how you got in here but fine go away and went back to bed in about 3 or 4 hours later I woke up and I started to get incredibly ill and so ill that I ended up in the hospital um again and was going down fast and they couldn't figure it out and they couldn't give me any

drugs you know they listed all the things I was allergic to they couldn't help me sent me home packed me up and went about 10 more days and I could feel it starting to wne suddenly I thought oh I might survive this and that night I woke up again at 1:00 in the morning there he was standing at my bed again and I said no no no no last time you were here no no no no no no no I don't want to I don't want this I don't want to die I don't want to

be sick and he just stared at me didn't say a word and so I took a breath and I thought um this isn't going to go away and I felt inside of me saying okay all right and he just did this he just reached his hand out and when I went to touch it boom We immediately started flying and we were flying through the air and as we came down I could see that we were actually coming down right at my ranch right in the middle of my Ranch and it's like one of those silly

dreams that you have when you're flying and then suddenly you're walking fast to stop and we both do that and this spirit is walking in front of me and he's picking these things out of the ground these black spikes it look like and I said what are you doing and he said these are still energetic remnants from past civilizations that are in the earth that I'm clearing because this is a sacred ground that needs to be reinvigorated I said okay and I'm still just following behind him as we walking I said by the way what's

going on and who are you and he said you can call me father and I thought well yeah um I thought well my father's dead but you're not well maybe it's another father from another lifetime I really you know how it's so going so fast and and we walk a little further and I can see on the left there's a a campfire huge campfire with a dozen ancient Native Americans just arounded and he walks up to it and he turns to me and he says you have to understand that um we're going to teach you

and we're going to uh train you in how to be one of us and I thought okay but I don't even know who or what and the short of it is for the next 13 nights every night he came to me he put his hand out we flew to the same spot of the ranch the other 12 ERS met us and for a couple hours every night they sort of downloaded me I don't know how to EXT to describe it giving me this information teaching me about ancient wisdom and with it they gave me a

chapter of a book that they wanted me to write and it was 13 nights and 13 chapters and after the third night because the the father would give me the chapter first he would kind of give me the information and I felt it it was almost like a a seed that just came into me and it had all of the information in it and I would suspend it while I would go through this educ with the Ancients every night and after the third night I started to get really sick really sick where I was talking

to my wife again I said you know I don't know what we're going to do I don't know if I'm going to make it I said I can't go through these dying experiences I'm and so that night when father came he said look um we recognize that the physical body is not holding up to what we thought it would so he created literally a seed and it looked like this monster Easter egg and he said at the end of each night I'm going to give this to you and in it is the chapter and that

way you don't have to hold it in you while we go through the lessons and when he put it in my hands you could see the top had this incredible seam to it this incredible white light was coming out of the seam and when you moved your hands up it opened up like a flower and the words just came tumbling into me and it was that chapter of that thing and so at the end of the 2 to three hours every night I would wake up I would go downstairs and I would write out what

was the chapter in in the book on the seventh night when I showed up um there was a much larger fire and everyone was up and there was a big celebration that seemed going on and I said what's happening and they said well this is your night of uh rights and I said rights for what and they said we're going to again make you one of us and one of the ancient natives walked over from the fire and he tore off a small portion of his cloth he he had on a like an animal skin

top and bottom and he tore it off and he handed it to me and he said sew this onto your shirt and I turned to father and I said what is this and he said we don't have words for all these things you ask all these questions and I'm like okay but what's going on and he said well in ancient history it's been called once or twice the um exchanging of the cloth and I still didn't quite understand it but when I put it close to me I could see it Sew sewing into my own

cloth and he said now I want you to understand that we're going to give you your rights and you know we want you to take a section of Mother Earth a square and we want you to be responsible for the health of that section we want you to make medicine for everyone that lives in that square and we want you to look look after Mother Earth's Health in this square and it happens to be a northern corner of Arizona right where the ranch is okay that makes sense and do you agree to it yes I

agree to it I mean you're so you're on the edge of dying you're like o okay whatever I'm dying so you're asking me these commitments in the future I don't even know if I'm going to make it till tomorrow okay sure sure I agree I agree and I it wasn't a Cavalier but just it's just so impactful and so powerful and you're you're just kind of you don't even know what you're agreeing to and I said well what are you making me and he said well again we don't have terms for it and I said

well you have to have some idea it has to mean something to you what are you making me and they said the only way to explain it would be to be a teacher of other teachers a a Shaman's shaman I said okay and then they actually gave me a name within the ceremony which was konak it's a for the end which I had misspelled three times and he actually in the dream grabbed my mouth and made me say kowak so that I could pronounce it properly he said this is the name that you have going

forward and these is what you want what we want you to do and the edict was to number one protect these ancient plants that are the greatest medicinal plants on the planet and I said well I don't know what they are and they said we'll teach you and they said these make all of the medicines necessary for every living creature on the planet to survive and they said do you agree then to create a center that will protect these plants and then help others around the globe make centers that they can grow these plants also

and make natural medicine for them and their communities okay that's that's what I agreed to and then there was a couple more things that they went through and then he said look from this point on the rest of the ceremony you will not remember it is sacred it is not for you to understand and I blacked out and I woke up about an hour later went downstairs wrote down my experience and what I went through and now 14 years later I've been able to sort of decipher all of the things and what it really meant

I didn't at the time and at all really it just kept coming so fast but what it happened is that when we get higher wisdom when we get ancient wisdom it actually has a frequency to it just like our normal talking but it is a higher frequency so when you try to put that into a physical body on this level it's like putting 10 volts in a 5vt battery it fries the physical body so every time I would work with the book to try to publish it to write it I would get sick again and

I would continually fight this getting sick trying to get the book finished try if I would try to rewrite the book I would get sick they didn't want a word change they didn't want anything interpreted and it wasn't that they were so right it's that they understood that when you put just the right words together you elicit a response in the human body that allows them to think on a higher level it's a very interesting concept it's sort of like saying look see the dog run okay you think all right I see a dog running

but if you say look time is the only thing that's important your brain goes what do you mean the only thing that's important and you start to think 50 different things well is this time important do you mean a watch do you mean the future do you mean the past so a combination of five simple words can elicit tremendous thought and tremendous understandings we another five simp words put together doesn't do anything to you so the book was written very simplistically but it was put together in words such that every time that you read it

depending upon where you are you'll actually get a different meaning from it the 13th chapters um it is uh the path Karma life force coming Earth changes how to heal yourself the physical body the Ethereal body it was what they claimed it to be was a basic manual for how every person on Earth used to understand what it was to be here sort of if you were an Atlantean this is how you used to think you used to realize lived many times you used to understand you are simply a ball of energy inside of a

physical body in a temporary time you used to understand that to heal someone you actually had to change the frequency and the energy of them not cut into to them not give them drugs actually change their energetic makeup so it was a basic manual that they say that man had forgotten over the last 5,000 years a basic understanding that every human being that used to live on this planet carried around with them now the further explanation of it was that it wasn't that we got stupid it wasn't that we abandoned it out of ignorance they

explained that the universe is this enormous sort of shell almost look at it as like a a tunnel right and we because now there's 100,000 million other planets that we've decided that we finally realized and there's a million other galaxies that exist we along with everything else work in a complete rotation around that Universal tunnel we go in a complete circle as you're traveling around in this circle on the inside of the universe you get closer to other planets to other galaxies to other energies and those planetary influences actually affect our thinking they actually raise

our vibration or lower our vibration and so they explain for the last 2,000 years we were in a part of the Galaxy that was hidden from most of the rest of the planets in the universe and because of that we were in the Dark Ages we were not getting the energ energes the higher energies that exist in the universe so we were not thinking in a higher way and the minds described at 2012 not the end of the world but a reuniting of the energies that exist in the rest of the universe that would change

the planet change the way we think and change the way we live so we just basically came back into the right neighborhood to start thinking clearly again and the book was supposed to be sort of the introduction to help us remember how we used to think and live and treat the planet in each other really and at the end of 13 days he came to me and he said that's it he said for me to have come down to this level and to have communicated with you is an extraordinary event and I will never be

able to do it again you will never see me again but you are now a part of the other and they will help you these other ancient Spirits for anything that you need going forward because an anient tradition only true healers first heal themselves that's just what they believe they believe that great healers first have dying experiences heal themselves so that then they can help others do the same I had to start finding ways of Ming medicine so I started having dreams of this plant cures this and this plant cures this and if you put

these two plants together it will cure that and I started to make medicine that started to cure myself but it took me over a year to get functional again um you know I have to save Grace for my family to put up with this I mean they never expected you know I was this healthy very successful human being that suddenly was crippled crippled couldn't do anything and I went Divergent too as opposed to being so successful to suddenly all I care about is helping the planet and it was confusing for everyone but I had agreed

and I knew that they had said look you are only able to go forward and continue living if you agree to this new Mission what I will say what's the most impactful to me and I don't want to jump too far ahead is that as I've started to understand even the book itself that I wrote Because I read it and go I don't know where that came from as I read it and start to learn myself and I started to change the way that I lived I can certainly understand and see how important it is

but how it connects to us is that every time that you have an illness its purpose is to bring you back onto your path the purpose of an illness is to make you change and that is what's lost in our present understanding everyone thinks it's an inconvenience everyone thinks it's something that's bad that's happened to them so what we find in our healing now that we try to teach people is that understand when the illness started what were you doing the parents were in the middle of a divorce you were losing your job there is

99.9% of the time a traumatic event happening in that person's life when that illness started and that's what's connected to the illness so until you address that issue you will not be shown what is the physical remedy that will actually cure you so it's it's not that physical remedies don't work it's that they have to have a sole component to them for you to be able to actually have true healing the Ancients came to me last year and said look let's just take a normal person that's incarnate on Earth right now they typically have had

40 to 50 lifetimes on planet Earth that's here today because they've been around a long time they said what they do as a spiritual entity that's lived 50 times is they take four or five of their lifetimes and they put them together into a new Mini Me and they incarnate with the memory of those five lifetimes and the purpose is to finish any of the lessons of those five lifetimes so that they evolve as a whole soul so they lived as a carpenter as a farmer as a doctor they now incarnate with those three lifetimes

memories and they have those skills but they have those lessons that weren't finished and their whole purpose for living this new life is to finish the last lifetimes lessons so if they were a farmer in the 13th century and a doctor in the 15th century their diet was very restricted they maybe ate a little bit of poultry but mostly greens and vegetables and rice so when they come into a modern world their body their soul doesn't accept the modern food constantly rejects it but the minute they get foods that are in conjunction and connected to

their past lives they're immediately satiated and the way that they taught me to me was crazy uh we were up north Native American came to me Spirit put his arm around me and he he flashed his hands up in the sky and all the stars erased like he had erased a a Blackboard and then he threw up into the sky this diagram and it was a big balloon with 50 small balloons inside of it each of them a lifetime and he said look and he just took five of the balloons and pulled it out of

the 50 he said this is a new Incarnation this is what comes into a physical body and tries to refine those previous lifetimes in a combined effort and in a complete purposeful effort so I'm sure you had people that had near-death experiences that said that they choose the family that they came into they right well because you actually stand on the precipice of the worlds and when you agree to Incarnate you'll get a choice so go look you can choose this family this family this family and this family because these five different family experiences relate

to the lessons that you want to learn this family will teach humility that you want to learn this family will teach you poverty that will teach you this other lesson from this other lifetime you can see how coordinated it really is there's no Randomness to our life at all when I was 15 I did past life regression and I experienced two of them in that session in the early' 70s and that was the 1500s I was a farmer I lost my parents which just my sister and I we had raised each other and then another

where I happened to be a librarian I was a woman in the 1700s and I worked in a library Inc conru it seems but the other three were all what I call geographical memories I was in China when I connected to the Chinese places I was actually walking down the street in a village that I'd lived in 1500 years ago I actually will go to a place that you lived in a past life and it comes to you it's like a thunderbolt I touched this building and suddenly the video just started playing in my head

so the last lifetime that I had was in the' 40s where I was actually a film and television producer I found my old office in this lifetime from my previous lifetime you know and that sort of segu me into this concept that people talk about well how can a 5-year-old be a concert pianist well he brought that lifetime forward he was a concert penis in his last Lifetime and that's one of his reincarnated purposes in this lifetime he did it before so when I became vice president of paramont pictures at the early age of only

30 years old it didn't make any sense well yes it did because I'd done it just in the last Lifetime and I had that sense when I was very young when I was five or six I knew I wanted I knew I knew how to make movies I didn't have the understanding I just knew it it was just in me so when I got on a film set in my early 20s it was immediate for me it was just natural and I went from being a a production assistant to being a producer in less than

two years had nothing to do with my practical experience you know people would just say well you have an instinct for this yeah last Lifetime and again you you can't talk about it or bring it up to people but that is the reality and how it happens I would tell you one of the most important things that I saw in healing in the last year is that it all comes back to the purpose of your Incarnation so you can come back to my five lifetimes right two as an ancient Chinese couple of others and and

a as a film producer so how would those work together right well the two lifetimes I I lived in ancient China I was a feudal Warrior all I did is go from town to town and fight that's what you back then in 600 AD you got hired to fight whatever warlord was going on for a couple of years then you moved on to the next town and fought that fight that's what I did when I come into this lifetime and I'm given the circumstances that I'm giving what did I have to do I had to

fight for my life and I had to find a way to to write the wrongs to a certain extent I fought in a purpose of trying to make the place better I'm doing the same thing thing again in this lifetime that's how they come together say well what about the librarian well it's been incredible because I'm u a voracious reader and have been since I was a child and that's helped me tremendously that's helped me become a writer that's helped me do the work that I'm doing that helps me be able to do these things

that gets the message out to the people so you can take those lifetimes and see exactly why I picked those five and made this combination into what I agree to do this time so all illness then comes back to if you are derivating from that path if I didn't agree to become the Healer and agree to write these books and agree to start helping and and agree to start protecting these plants I would simply exit I would contract an illness I would be gone because I would not be Comm I would not be continuing the

agreement that I have every time you incarnate you incarnate with an agreement and that agreement is you come to this planet if you agree to learn and you agree to evolve and in these new channelings that we've done in the last year and a half it's incredible information it all ties back to the first book all the information is the same but it's almost like it's the workbook it almost it's like the explanation of what these simple understandings really mean and to put it in a sort of concise bubble the first four channelings are time

money future and negative thoughts so you can't count money you can't believe in time clock time it's a man-made thing you can't live in the future and you can't have negative thoughts and they say that if you can take those four principles and concentrate on them every day what it will do is force you to live in the present now that's such a right it's such a common term but I know even myself being in this for over 60 years it still never resonated with me being in the present what does it mean well I

guess it means you're supposed to be happy you're here I but now I understand because they really mean it they mean you never look at a clock ever ever because what it does is it constricts your ability to think it constricts you you're like oh I only have 5 minutes that's not true I'm constantly being proven that that's not true I I was doing some orders four or five months ago and I had a feeling that the post office was going to close and I wasn't going to make them to the Post in time I

didn't look at the clock I said well I have an intuition that I should just keep going and so I did and I finished the order and it was 10 minutes after 5 post office is closed I then had the intuition well I should still go to the post office I thought well and because you have to battle your mind your mind says what are you an idiot you really going to listen to this stuff all the time put the stuff in the car went to the post office I thought well the grocery store is

just a block past I'll go to the grocery store if nothing happens I pull into the post office sure enough it's closed I kind of chuckle to myself and as I'm about to leave I see the main gate open and the head postmaster who I know is rolling out a cart because he's coming out to get all of the mail that's in the Drive-Thru and he sees me and he waves and so I pull up to him and he says what are you doing I said well I kind of had these packages but but your

clothes he said put them in my basket put him in his basket I didn't even have to get out of the car to go to the post office that day but had I listened to the clock I would have actually curtailed my ability to live in the present I would have changed everything that I was doing they say the same thing about money the minute you count money is the minute you limit yourself the minute you say okay I've got to raise $5,000 to buy new car I've got to work this many hours I have

to well that's it you've just told the universe that the only way you're going to get a new car is if you work more hours at a job that you hate and that means that nothing else can happen no one can give it to you you can't win it for a lottery your brother can't give it to you because he bought a new car and thought you needed one nothing else can happen but your limiting thought of I must now make money to get my thing can't count money can't count time can't live in the

future how do you do that how do you do it in the modern world I got to make a dentist appointment next week you have to start operating intuitively when someone says what are you doing tomorrow you have to say living so well but what are you going to do I don't know when I wake up in the morning I'll know and they're like well no you can't live that way yes you can that's how we lived for thousands of years that's how the Ancients lived do you really think the atlanteans walked around with wrist

watches on their wrist no all of that traps us into having limited perspective and not being connected to everything because the minute you pull back you're not living in the future you're not relying on money to create your things you're not looking at a clock to determine when you should do things how you should do things and you have no negative thoughts that's the other hard part you will be in the present it will force you be to be in the present and what that does then is that means that you start to connect to

everything because the brain is not running this minutia I mean the majority of the people out there have a hundred thoughts in their heads all the time and that's what separates them from the Creator and from the life force that exists amongst us I can go a couple days at a time without any thought it it's the only key to connect to exactly what's going on so when I get up every morning like the Ancients they would go to the river they would wash their face they would cleanse themselves they would give thanks to the

four directions and they would sit in silence to wait for their intuitive direction of what to do that day they would then be guided that this field is going to have a deer so that you can feed your family this Creek has berries that are finally ripening that you can pick the only way you can connect to everything is if you have no thought that's the only way it can get in the Ancients believe that everything is like a radio station right you can only listen to One radio channel at a time if you put

on two radio stations at once what do you get noise right nothing's discernible well that's how most people are operating they have so much going on there's no room for their intuition to be heard there's no room for their soul to actually connect and direct them so they they teach us change the station if you want to learn something or hear something but you can only stay on one station at a time and that's what frequency is really about so again it's a combination of things right the biggest thing though is our planet moved into

a part of the universe that now energies are hitting us and forcing us to wake up you see it around you and the couple of other channels that I've known for a long period of time have gotten other information very similar and has said that it's creating a division of the masses because well what what you're seeing is that people are embracing it and suddenly becoming awake and aware and what someone would call a tree hugger is no longer this abstract anymore they're starting to say look I I can understand what you're talking about I

can see a flower I can feel a tree I can hear things and the other half is saying no no no no no no no no no no I want to stay in my bubble I want to have my rich I want to have my big car I want have my big I want to have materialism I want to be satiated on a physical level I don't want to evolve and because of that they're fighting harder and harder to not waken up and that's why we're dividing is because half of the population is say no

we're waking up we got to take care of this planet we have to take care of each other we have to respect every living thing on this planet and the other half is saying burn it down burn it down use every resource that there is the planet will grow a new one don't worry about it and they're forcing a divide further and further and further but it is coming to a breaking point unfortunately and you can feel and see that and that's because not only are we being forced by these outer planetary energies to change

but the Earth is being hit with those same energies of course that's why we're feeling it it's because it's hitting the Earth and if the Earth was healthier and not so polluted it would be able to what we call transmute these energies easier in other words take them in and release them but because the Earth is a little bit beat up she's getting bombarded and not processing it so well so what happens is for her to process all these extra energies that 10 volts and a 5vt battery she has to find a way to release

them back out earthquakes major storms rain hurricanes all these weather patterns that we are seeing is simply Mother Earth trying to balance herself from being hit with these higher energies it's not a reaction to anything bad you know they're not condemning man for disrupting and being rude I mean man's being rude and he's polluting but Mother Earth isn't rising up and saying ah I'm going to kill all the people on the planet that's not what this is about at all she's saying I'm being overwhelmed and I must find a way to release these energies so

that I can stay in Balance 100 years ago 92 93% of the population was self-sufficient today less than 3% is self-sufficient its number one message was we are not self- sustainable and that is not the way forward we have to return to becoming self-sustainable that is the number one message from the Ancients you know you can't go three days without water and yet how many people have a stream or a water well and we just agree to start buying bottled water that's okay food the average food in your Supermarket travels $1,200 miles again all these

things are are so out of balance you start to heal yourself by simply growing your own plants it's not a polyana sort of like you should grow your own plants so that you can survive it's much much much further than that when you start to consume the things that you grow you will see your health change 100% but even further than that like I said if you really pay attention to it it you don't have to eat as much food because it's grown in such a perfect way with such great love that the consumption is

smaller but I digress a little bit because the answer is really you have to start growing your own food you have to start moving towards being self- sustainable not just because there's not going to be food available because that's the way this planet is supposed to be the Creator didn't go and make this incredible world so that some entity could come in and charge you money for water and for power and for food do you really think God created this world so that you have to make money so that you can survive it is so

out of control I I I it it makes me mad mad not angry but in just what all of these resources are supposed to be free we as human beings are supposed to enjoy the fruits of the earth what it grows what it has in terms of water substance making your own housing all of that is supposed to be free why so that you experience living on this planet in the way it's supposed to be which is connecting to everything around it and we've created this world where you go to work you do your job

so you get your a couple of dollars so you go to your store so that you eat that you go to sleep and you wake up and you do it again that's not this planet that is not the purpose of this planet and that is not creating a spiritual Evolution for anyone who is growing and learning living that type of Life start growing your own food start becoming self- sustainable and that is the path actually to your spiritual enlightenment because it will connect you to everything you have been disconnected from my near-death experience was in

2021 Christmas uh and before that I am a wife a mom but I did have quite a unique job before um I was in mental health and addictions for maybe a decade that's what I went to school for was social work um but in 2015 I accepted my gifts as a psychic medium a medical intuitive a Healer and an animal Communicator it's hard to remember them all so I always say I was born different so I was like an 80-year-old three-year-old um it didn't make sense that I was a kid and doing kid things I

was always introverted a little bit more quiet and I could see people that other people couldn't see until I was about I can't remember 4ish I didn't know that other people couldn't see all the people I saw so like I just thought adults ignored some people and I didn't quite get why again I was just Mom right and I've always with work because I kind of make my own schedule I take Summers off to be with my kids and I take most of December off to be oh I'm a Christmas crazy person which I don't

know why because horrible things always happen at Christmas but I still love it and it had been Co and in Canada we did have like some pretty strict rules we had to follow even in 2021 I that was going to be the first Christmas since Co hit that I could have family and friends over and I always have done you know a huge Christmas Eve dinner with like 40 people so I was so excited but the few weeks leading up to it it felt like weird and I just thought you know all of us probably

feel like that because of Co we're leading up to Christmas and we did um a day of like decorating gingerbread houses with the kids and my old foster kids and my husband and it was an amazing day and then at the night time like 8:00 or something we were going to watch a Christmas movie because it was December 23rd we were all excited the next day was going to be our first big dinner but I started getting like the worst headache of my life like so bad that I couldn't even see straight so I'm like

you know what guys I'm just going to go to bed I feel horrible um and apparently like an hour later ler I texted my husband and said could you bring me some Tylenol in Advil they were still watching the movie um because my head hurts so bad and he brought them and apparently then I went into unconsciousness like I I took the medication and I thought fell asleep uh the doctors think I probably started having the stroke around 11:30 at night um and I didn't wake up till 4:45 in the morning and I woke up

completely paralyzed on my right side um and nonverbal so I only could say two words my sister's name and the f word which is really great essentially I tried to get up to go to the bathroom I tried to stand up not knowing I was paralyzed and I fell to the ground and then I couldn't move or get up and I couldn't reach my phone or a light so I tried to army crawl to the door and I couldn't and so there was a wall and I hit the wall really really loud and it woke

up my husband and actually my mom as well cuz they were living in my basement Suite um and my husband came into the room and I was clearly not well um he knew right away it was a stroke because he had some first aid training so he called 911 um we got me to the hospital the damage was already done in the midbrain um and so they wanted to LifeLight me to another hospital because where I live they can't do neurosurgery they don't have a neur neurosurgeon um and so that's what they decided I was

going to be LifeLight they let mik go with me all my family came to say goodbye because the doctor essentially said more than likely she will die before she gets to the other hospital um so say they even told my kids at the time were 12 and 14 and they said take say everything you can to your bum because more than likely you won't see her again and I took off in the helicopter with my husband beside me and that is where I went to the other side the sun hit my face and my husband

went to cover my eyes because I was also getting a fever which can happen when you're sort of near death your your body can heat up um and I looked upset because he was covering my eyes because that Sun hitting my face as soon as it hit my face I was in my body and then I wasn't I was on the other side like it was that quick and I could see my body I could see my husband but then all of a sudden I could also see uh my kids driving to my house and

I could see my sisters and I could like I could see everything the whole time but I also wasn't in my body I woke up or not really woke up just opened my eyes I didn't go towards the light you know there was no tunnel or anything like that I just woke up open my eyes and I was in the most beautiful garden I have ever seen or experienced I don't think Earth could have a garden like that I open my eyes I was wearing a beautiful white dress and my feet I didn't have shoes

on my feet were on the grass and looking sort of around me I was in a field but there was so many flowers and there was like a little Pond type thing and then a gazebo that had like a Creek Running under it and my guides who I already knew because of my work you know I worked with my guides all the time were sitting slash standing by the Gazebo and then sort of to the left was my crossover loved ones so two of my grandparents uh my mother-in-law um my dogs because that's helpful and

and I just you know you miss your dogs when they're on the other side but then there were some things that I was like well that's a little bit odd but not my one of my daugh that was still alive was there um but she was 17 and a half and she actually ended up dying four days after the stroke when I was still in the ICU so she was like with certain people that have Alzheimer's they're kind of in both places and so I'm assuming that's why I could see my dog that was still

alive but also my husband and my kids were there um because I was there to make the choice of whether or not I wanted to come back I think for for me if the choice was leaving my kids to suffer I obviously would have come back no matter what so I needed to know that they were going to be okay and I was going to be with them no matter what and then kind of to the right and up like the field a little there was a giant group of people from all time Dimensions past

present future all genders all Races all cultures and those and I know a lot of people don't believe in this and that's okay but that was all of my other lives so it was just to show me the interconnectedness I think of our paths here but also our sort of journey within our Collective Consciousness um and so as I was standing there it felt like I was there for 50 years a hundred years I I could feel through the grass everything around me and everything within my sight glow with this almost golden sort of rainbow

light that was the most love I have ever felt there was no pressure but there also was no words like physical words not one word came out of my mouth because everything was telepathic you think it and everyone around you knows it they think it and I know it I didn't run up to like my nana who was I loved her so much we were so close and you'd think you know you see somebody that's been dead for a decade or maybe more I didn't run up to her and hug her because you didn't need

to because you just knew what everyone was thinking and feeling and you could feel their love through the love that was all around me and so all of that I could pay attention too while also checking on like my family and it is very true that when somebody is dying especially some like I was obviously a youngish I was 40 when it happened yeah there's a lot of bargaining if you save her I promise I will do XYZ if you let her live until I can see her again I will like and almost all of

them um were bargaining panicking my sister poor girl I talk about her and she it's probably embarrassing but any time she's under stress or somebody's hurt or sick she has a horrible belly and she had to go from the hospital to her house which is like a 10 to 15 minute drive like not only panicking and bargaining but really needing to get to a bathroom but she didn't want to stop anywhere because she wanted to pack her bags to go but also it was Christmas and the next day was Christmas Eve and you know my

sister has young kids and it's everyone was panicked everyone was bargaining everyone was sad but also everyone was shocked so there wasn't a ton of like crying because they were shocked and then I could also see me and my husband because at that point I had gone into unconsciousness and he was panicked he doesn't like helicopters so he was nervous for that the weather was not great so he was nervous for that and unlike me he knows nothing about medical any thing and so in his mind it was going to be okay and he wasn't

going to listen to the doctor um so it was a lot happening at once but for me it was very peaceful I didn't feel like a lot happening because it just felt like I was home and I was being given this amazing gift of time to make the decision on what I wanted to do did you recognize them right away as your past lives how did you know that was also you because you know everything as soon as you're there you understand everything I often say there are no wise there's never a why why did

I do that why did I make that choice who are those people what do they want to say there's no The Who W what whenn where why how doesn't exist on the other side it just everything makes sense not only did it make sense that I was so connected to all of those people and that they are all either living right now in this present time or other times or other dimensions I also was very sort of connected to what I was going to do for the rest of my life if I stayed and what

all of my family would do for the rest of their lives if I chose to uh not come back um nothing felt confusing and I just knew because even though they didn't look like me a couple of them look similar but they didn't look like me it was like they were all me so I I didn't need to kind of go okay who are you hello where are when are you living how are you living it was like okay I remember that life and I remember what I looked like and I remember that that path

and everything I did you just know everything I think it's a blessing and a curse because I wanted so bad to remember absolutely everything every moment and the amazing enlightening things I was learning and participating in and even though I remember quite a bit of it it does fade I call it like human Amnesia so like the things that I got to see or feel or hear um start to fade so that I will stay here because let me tell you it's so much easier there coming back into a paralyzed nonverbal body that couldn't eat

or talk or do anything I definitely wanted to go back can you tell me more about your guides because I haven't heard about that in a lot of other nde stories so I think again like it's Unique to each person so in a way I think we do sort of manifest and I think this is where people's argument of like you made it up because you saw what you needed to see or wanted to see and somebody else might just see black or it might not feel good um and for me I had a relationship

already with my guides uh my guides are Gail Jessica and Peter and so Gail and Jessica were sitting there Peter is a part of the collective Consciousness his name is not Peter I named him that because his name is weird like K or raw or some weird thing so it feels weird to call him that so I don't I call him Peter which I know is weird but works for me um and I had such a close relationship with them already that I was able to recognize them and walk up to them I think a

lot of people see what they call either Angels or a Guiding Light or something like that because not everybody is meant to get to know their guides in each human life and if you're not meant to or if it's not part of your path then they probably won't come and show up in your nde maybe it will be a grandma or a loved one that says oh you know what you have to go back right but not every everybody will get that gift of their guides being there but my guides because they knew me so

well and I had been working as a psychic medium in partnership with them since 2015 it just made sense that they were there directing me I'm kind of cool to see their actual physical self you know when I do work I can feel them I can see them if I really need to but not like concrete humanly like it's I couldn't touch them when I'm like now if they stand the corner of the room whereas I got to hug them and I got to like actually feel their energy and like the guidance that they've been

giving me my entire life um and they were so great at sort of helping me understand the outcomes of each decision um and also the things that would happen um if I went back and I think that was super helpful in making the decision and I could argue that no matter what I was going to come back because we do plan our lives and I needed the nde and I needed to go to the other side in order to sort of live the rest of my life um but it did F feel like a decision

like no matter what there was no judgment and whatever way I wanted to go uh they were there for me were you presented with the decision or did you just know coming there you had to decide whether to stay or to go back home I think I just knew because again you don't have to necessarily talk but while being able to sort of see everything they also helped me to see and understand um the good and the Bad and the Ugly so they did say you know if I chose to go back the next 18

months would be the hardest time of my life and I would regret my decision I would wish that I had stayed and I would be very angry um and it was really true when I woke up I was on a high for two or three days um and it just I had this glow of the other side and it very quickly went away once I realized oh wow like I'm paralyzed I can't talk I have tubes everywhere I've been tube fed I couldn't go to the bathroom um I was so brain injured and all the

things that they said I would do I was like yeah right like obviously I was dreaming because how am I going to get to where they said I would be you know doing like public speaking and talking about the collective Consciousness and writing books and like inspiring people how will I do that if I can't talk you know how can I do that if I can't walk and I didn't understand that you know what they said was actual reality especially because the doctors were pretty much saying you know yes okay she's survived because my husband

actually decided not to do the brain surgery um we got there and I very quickly had a grand M seizure and then I continued to have seizures um until they got a bunch of meds in me and helped stop it and once they got the seizures stopped the neurosurgeon came to my husband and said you know I know she came here for brain surgery but the damage is kind of done they did another scan and like my stroke was completed the other one had stopped and I had had TPA which is a very very strong

blood thinner and so surgery is super dangerous after TPA and so he said you know I can still do the surgery if you want but more than likely it will kill her and so much damage is done it would be minimal Improvement after the surgery um and my husband had no idea what to do and there was nobody else there it was just him and so we said to the neurosurgeon um you know if it was your wife like if it was your wife in that bed what would you do and the neurosurgeon said I

wouldn't do it I just wouldn't and my husband said well you're the expert I'm not doing it and so I didn't get the brain surgery and uh I think the doctor then just sort of said how she is is how she's staying and he said you know as she's in the ICU if she survives this in the next couple of days you're going to have to start looking at long-term care she's going to need care for the rest of her life pretty much she's going to stay how she is I also was blind in my

right eye so I would be half blind uh nonverbal paralyzed never able able to eat because I had no swallowing reflex I had no bathroom cues or hunger cues so I wouldn't be able to ever take care of myself and everybody was like that's what everybody was saying for that first couple of days and everybody talked about me around me like I couldn't say anything and yet the doctors in the room saying like this is her she's pretty much a vegetable forever like and like I think for the type of stroke I had your fiveyear

survival rate is between 14 and 28% so it's not great um but then I went from paralyzed nonverbal couldn't eat couldn't drink by day 4 I was walking um I had words within a few days not good and not uh expressive I I lost tone so like I talked like a robot and I talked kind of like a baby um but I started walking I got the tube out of my nose like I started eating after a few days I was able to go to the washroom they took like the catheter out and everything and

within a week I was up and moving around they were still doing a lot of tests I was still in the neuro IU for two weeks um but they couldn't explain it and also when I woke up from going on the going to the other side I wasn't blind anymore and they they can't understand it because I was completely blind and so I think six weeks like you go for a followup six weeks after you get out of the hospital and I went and I I had a walking stick because I was still learning to

walk but I could talk I could eat I could whatever I was doing rehab and the neurosurgeon actually called down to the emergency room to see if anybody who was there when I was brought in wanted to come up to see me walk because they just could not because I was young and my kids were there and it was Christmas and all these nurses were just devastated that this was going to be my life and that these kids had their mom taken away on Christmas and uh in my chart at the very top it says

I am his miraculous patient that the only reason is a miracle because I shouldn't be here so every time I go in because I've had a lot of Health complications the doctors look and they're like oh so you're his Miracle patient I'm like yeah that's me so the stroke was the in the middle of the night on the 23rd um I stayed unconscious for almost 20 4 hours after the seizure um so that was just December 24th on December 25th um actually my husband have you watch that movie The Santa Claus where they went go

to Denny's on Christmas because burned the turkey anyways that's what my husband did he took the kids to Denny's for Christmas dinner and they came and visited me but I was in the neuro ICU so it's like you can visit for 15 minutes or something like that and the neurosurgeon just happened to be coming by and I still hadn't talked or moved much and he said you know what you guys I know your mom can't talk but have you tried singing with her because speech is on the left well speech is bit confused yeah on

the left but singing is on the right and so they sang with me and I sang without being able to talk two songs with them two Christmas songs and so them that was like a Christmas miracle but no Christmas was on pause we celebrated Christmas the day after I got home in January um but like I think my first like video that they recorded of me was like the 27th or 8th when I walked so it was still even though it was amazing and a miracle it was a freaking slow one and it felt like

dragging my feet through cement for every gain it didn't come even though they said oh wow it's amazing for me it didn't feel like that it felt like it was impossible and I felt like such a burden because to to learn to talk again you have to so like one word they would say the word I wouldn't be able to say it they would show me how to say it and then make me repeat it seven or eight times to try and get it stuck in my head and we did that nonstop and I also

was kind of like baby like you have the emotions of a child and so I was explosive I would cry or laugh at inappropriate times um which is just part of having a stroke and I was angry um and angry that this is their life now and I just couldn't understand why I made this choice and I had such a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that you know I'm making my kids and my husband suffer like it felt almost selfish that I chose to come back um not forever but for quite a

while I also was on very very strong anti-seizure meds um and it made me not only feel very very sick it made me um have the urge to un alive myself which is a side effect of certain seizure meds so usually when that happens it's just like people who take anti depressant and anti- anxiety sometimes they just the medication doesn't agree with them and so you have to switch they tried switching me um it almost killed me so I had to stay on that medication for six months to protect my brain and so I was

battling trying to recover doing rehab struggling with my process and trying not to give into the side effect of that medic which is super hard I was very open and honest I talked to my family I got counseling and stuff they all knew it wasn't actually me I didn't want to but it was the medication and there was nothing I can do about it um I always say it was like a bad country song because it's like I had the stroke I also then got Co my whole family got Co the co almost killed me

um then I got Co pneumonia my one of my dogs died when I was in the hospital then my next dog died in March and that was like so devastating like it was just like one after the other and then every time it was like okay I feel a little bit better something else would happen you know somebody would get in an accident or somebody would get sick or I would get sick or I would have a Tia or you know it was nonstop my guides were very right that the next 18 months would be

hell and it was the first six months was the hardest they also took my license um because I have a seizure so when you have a seizure you have to go on medication and then you have to be seizure free when you get off that medication for however many months so I lost my license for the first year um but it just slowly kind of got better and as I got more independent it got better and then the sort of cycle of every time I had a positive a negative would come or 10 negatives would

come it started just going away and started like better things started happening um and then I just started feeling inspired again and my guide started sort of speaking up again I felt very disconnected from from them for a while um and at one point they said you know you need to paint you need to try to paint what you saw on the other side I'm like what are you talking about like I'm brain injured I can barely write what do you mean I'm going to paint that's ridiculous so I ignored them for a good couple

of months and then finally like just try try like just try it and I started painting and I couldn't stop and I tried the best I could to start to paint what I saw in the other side and it just it just got better and then things were presented opportunities you know people asking me to tell my story which they said I would do that and it was going to be so helpful to help people not feel alone like this human world is so isolated like we're we've never been more connected and more disconnected at

the same time it's such a strange world we live in and everything just started happening for the better um they had said I would write three books and I'm like uh can't type anymore can't write anymore barely have words I don't know what you're talking about writing a book but everything just fell into place and every single thing they said was going to happen has happened so far and so now I just work on faith faith that you know there there's a point to all of it because it's still hard you know even though if

you didn't know me you wouldn't know I know all the time every single day I am missing almost 25% of my brain and it doesn't grow back I don't know why I thought it it did in my mind I just thought you know when you injure your brain yeah your brain's injured but it's still there no it slops away and you have a giant hole in your head and so then you can have other little strokes because all of that brain isn't supposed to be exposed but it just started happening in for the better and

I don't know another way to explain it other than I just had faith that they wouldn't have put me in my family or I wouldn't have you know because I planed this life um and our my family threw this if there wasn't a purpose for it I am not a patient person and I have learned more patience for myself and for other people um but also my whole life I felt so alone and you know even with my kids and my husband and family and friends I could be surrounded to in people and I just

felt like nothing made sense and that I was kind of this lone Island and going to the other side and understanding that there was not one moment in my entire life where I was ever alone not even a millisecond my hardest times in my life I was surrounded and people who loved me um I think that was a huge takeaway for me because I my whole life I felt so different and I just felt like I never fit in in any group even people that I knew loved me I felt like there was something wrong

with me and occasionally still not occasionally 50% of the world does think there's something wrong with me you know it's not okay to talk to dead people as a job or as a calling it's not okay to talk about these things not in a religious tone or whatever it is but I have never felt more that like I belong than when I'm thinking of and talking about the things that I now know to be true before I accepted my gifts it was very out of control like they were just always there and I didn't understand

I could see them but I didn't know how to talk to them like I couldn't have a back and forth like we're having okay um and so it was just confusing because there was all these extra people around and I didn't know what they wanted or even if they wanted something like maybe they were just hanging out and they actually didn't want anything once I accepted my gifts they only would come around for a purpose so it wasn't like they were just always around me occasionally they are now just in support but I knew what

they wanted I know or knew how to talk to them and how to get the message across I didn't know how to set boundaries so in the beginning you know I live in somewhat of a smaller town um it's not tiny but a smaller town and they would want me to go up to people in like restaurants and stuff and I was like I no thank you that absolutely like how long before the whole town thinks I'm completely nuts um and so I learned how to set boundaries it's not okay to say you need to

go tell that cashier that you know her mom is with her and whatever so I started to be able to set boundaries and my gifts didn't sort of turn on all at once uh the mediumship was first and then my psychic gifts and that's the one I fought the the most because when I was religious and I was still going to church at when I accepted my gifts the psychic was the part that they were like like that's kind that's like what do they call it a false prophit um and so that part was harder

um and then after a while I'm also an empath like a super strong empath so I always say I can read Souls I don't necessarily listen to sometimes what's coming out of people's mouths because I know how they feel behind those words not good for relationships because sometimes nobody wants you in their head and they don't want you tuning into their soul so it's a lot of boundary work and then the medical intuitive and the healing came and then the animal communicating came after that and so for me now it's just everyday life and I

have what I call like a light switch so when I'm working the life switches on so right now even though this is more like an interview about me light switches on my guides are standing in the corner of the room helping me to tell the parts that they really want to be heard as well as my stuff um and their thoughts become my words so when I'm actually working I sort of put my human self to the side because I think I'd get really tired if I didn't and their thoughts just like on the other

side that it's telepathic their thoughts become my words so I don't before the ending E I would kind of have to listen and then repeat which is okay but I think a lot can get lost in translation or like maybe I don't interpret it correctly or I put emphasis on a different thing than they were intending um and then after the nte once I had the experience of complete telepathy it's so much easier which is crazy because I'm missing so much of my brain I don't know how it's so much easier but literally they think

it and it their thoughts come out of my mouth so I don't have to interpret I don't have to listen and repeat I don't have to clarify once in a while I argue if they's trying to say something that I'm like really you think that's going to be helpful or it makes me uncomfortable like I don't think I want to say that to that person um but it's so much easier now and I can do it like in a much more connected way if that makes sense I want everyone to know that they are never

ever Alone um I have guides and that's wonderful and I can see mine but so do you and everyone listening it doesn't matter what your religion is what your beliefs are you can be an atheist or a Catholic or Jewish whatever every human on this planet has guides has a higher energy um whatever you want to call it Source God doesn't matter there's somebody walking with you every moment of your life and people don't have to believe that I had an nde and went to the other side and got to make the choice and that

sort of stuff that's fine and you know what like I I know there are people that really think our brains can do that right can have this crazy dream and that sort of stuff but all of the things that have happened since all the things they said would happen um have all happened and I think it's just Testament that they are with me and they weren't lying and I'm not making them up um but just that we aren't alone and that there is a purpose to everything our Collective Consciousness as a whole is growing and

we are going to be seeing more and more people like me being born you know in the 80s when I was born it was nuts to be a psychic medium like it just it you called the 1 1900 number the 1 1900 dial a psychic and you paid like $2 a minute to get your as whatever um it wasn't average it wasn't normal it wasn't common um but as the collective Consciousness is moving towards become more connected um more children are going to be born like me feeling like they don't fit feeling completely alone even

at as a small child and if there's somebody that can tell them hey you know what there's a reason you feel alone there's a reason you feel like you're so different and it's because you're this wonderful little soul that's lived a lot and you know you're going to you're going to get it you're going to feel like you make sense at some point it would have been so helpful for me when I was young if somebody could just say there's nothing wrong with you you know you are not this horrible person who is causing bad

things to happen it's actually not you causing them that would have been so so helpful to me can you tell me about your book yes so it's called at the stroke of eternity and I started writing it it came out when a year ago um and so we I somebody helped me so I talked and they typed um and it's also written now looking back like I would change so much just because I didn't have a lot of words like I was still learning to talk um and so it is a very simple um simply

written book but it talks about everything so a little bit about my childhood and then about the stroke going to the other side and then all the lessons that I learned it also has pictures because I'm like I I like pictures in a book oh here I'll show so there you go it's right here it's beautiful yeah and so yeah it has pictures it has poems at the beginning of every chapter because I also um wrote poems I I wrote poems before the stroke I'm just trying to see if my brain is there because I

know people don't believe me when I say like I'm missing so much of my brain um oh there we go there's my brain so whoops this is the the main stroke that big white area and then a frontal lobe stroke because people afterwards so many people were like yeah right like I've known people who have had Strokes you have not I'm like I don't I could fake a a stroke like that it doesn't necessarily make sense but then yeah I also started painting um and so some of my paintings are in there as well um

I don't do anything with the paintings they just kind of sit here um but I enjoy it I have fun with it that's beautiful yeah but and then the last each one of my guides has a chapter at the end so there's a chapter for Gail Jessica and Peter um and then yeah there's chapter on boundaries because it's so important when you want to do any type of spiritual work one on being an empath because it's hard um it's hard to feel everybody's feelings especially in this world when there's so much anger and hate and

that sort of stuff thank you so much to Amber for sharing her story this was one of the interviews that I've been most excited about and I hope you all enjoyed my name is Lauren and I do the interviews on this channel and first of all I just like to say thank you to everyone for all the really nice and really interesting comments that you've been posting and second of all if you want to see more of these types of videos make sure to hit subscribe bye