Israel Has The Right To Defend Itself | Stand-up Comedy by Daniel Fernandes

let me see if I can do some light humor come on let's try and lighten up the mood what you don't think I can do it of course I can okay pick a topic uh dogs everybody likes dogs yes everybody likes dogs some of you don't trust me anymore he'll ruin dogs also for us dogs are nice I love dogs I think dogs as a species have kept us from falling over the edge yeah like even if you look on the internet so many videos about dogs right like this one video I saw came out

last year and this is a true story it happened in Tani yeah this was this dog right who was dropped to a pet spa by its owners sorry sorry my bad pet parents that's another group this is my son yeah makes sense yeah see it I remember when we were in college at that party and we both had to pee and you just went like this and I knew that's your boy right there yeah so these pet parents right they Dro their dog off at at a pet spa and the groomers instead of grooming this

dog started assaulting it true story and not just that they filmed themselves doing this okay and then posted the video online it went viral instantly okay there was a mob online which then translated to a mob offline they found out where the pet spa was got it shut down got hold of the groomers smacked them around a little bit and then handed them over to the police and you can see this videos they're there online and as I was watching this I noticed something there must have been about at least 2 to 300 people there

and as they were all there I noticed that not one of them gave a about the religion of the person standing next to them nobody cared about what God they worshiped what food they ate or who they loved all of the people gathered there were United in their anger towards the Injustice that was suffered by this defenseless dog and I think this is a sentiment that we can stretch globally isn't it very few things in the world unite people in Anger like the Injustice of abuse that has been suffered by a defenseless dog am I

right good now if we can only figure out a way to air drop puppies into Gaza right there's your ceasefire that's all it takes just just drop some puppies into Gaza keep the cameras rolling let Israel do its thing those pet parents from tan will Mar you know when I was in school and this was in history class right we were learning about World War II specifically the Holocaust and we were having a class discussion about this and all the students right in the class all of us we had the same questions all of us

were like how could the rest of the world allow this to happen how could 6 million Jews be killed and no one did anything and our teacher was trying to explain to us that apathy was ingrained in the human psyche and as a species we are inherently selfish Fox and I was like no that cannot be and I told my teacher teacher this will never happen in our lifetime no way in fact if this ever happens in our lifetime I will give you anything you want yeah I got a call from my history teacher last

week she said anything what a strange world we live in right who would have thought that the same man who bought so much of pain and suffering and death to the Jewish Community would come back reincarnated as their prime minister look how uncomfortable all of you are I get it I get it okay this is a very contentious issue right it's not an easy topic to discuss like I don't know what side you are on I am on the right side I don't know about you but I have to admit that it's very hard to

be on the right side especially when you realize that do not have any real power right I mean we can sure we can share stories and and create awareness and maybe donate some money but we don't have any real power to stop what's going on over there right it's a very difficult place to be and it it hasn't been a fun experience right like every day you're trying to get through your life and and you see all these videos is coming out of Gaza right you see all these videos and I have to say this

genocide is doing way better numbers than the Holocaust so much content right and and the atrocities just keep escalating and it's been so difficult to watch that recently I ended up having a very disturbing thought it's a thought that I am not proud of at all but one that I will share with you because I am a giver right if you're with me I will give and give and give until I have nothing left right so I'm going through life and and I'm just looking at my phone and all these videos keep coming up right

and the atrocities are just escalating until I saw a picture of a Palestinian father holding his headless child in his hands and in that moment I thought to myself maybe Adolf was on to something and this is where I lose the crowd look just to be clear I'm not trying to whitewash Hitler okay he still every bit the V evil monster we remember him to be okay I'm pretty sure even right now he's at the bottommost pit of Hell right next to the queen and this is where I win the audience back I'm just saying

maybe he knew something that the rest of us did not do you have a better explanation for what we're witnessing today I don't right I mean think about this right even if we discuss time travel as a social experiment right what do we all say if time travel were a possibility we would all travel back in time and kill Baby Hitler but what if baby hit was also traveling back in time to save to save us from a future that we are witnessing today and based on whatever is happening we should let that baby live

I'm very pro-choice then I snapped out of I said Dan you can't have a thought like this it's not okay to think like this it's not okay this is an anti-semitic thought it's not okay and and I know that I've put that thought into all of your minds right now and it's swirling in there I just want to let you know it's not okay to think like this okay so shame on all of you for having this thought right and let me be very clear when I say it is not okay to blame every Jewish

person in the world for the actions of the Israeli government or the IDF that's like blaming every Muslim person in the world for the actions of alqaeda and Isis and we have never done that [Music] right we have we have never demonized an entire group of people for the actions of a few so don't start now but I am optimistic I like to believe that no matter how dark the cloud I can always find a silver lining and believe it or not I have managed to find a silver lining to this genocide you guys want

to hear what that is yeah yeah all right here we go okay sails of back rests have gone through the roof because for the last year or so people all over the world have been unable to locate their spines w isn't that amazing Amazon has made so much money Jeff Bezos is richer put him in a submersible like I have a friend who hasn't said a single word about the genocide since it started he now walks like this and I'm like yo 2025 is that way but I have a feeling that history will not be

kind to us it will not help us forget history will not let us forget you see for the longest time history was always written by a few and read by many that isn't the case anymore today both sides have equal representation today even the oppressed have Wi-Fi so the truth is out there it's up to us to seek it and then decide where we stand right look I'm not an unreasonable person all right I'm willing to examine both sides of an argument which is why I understand why some Indians support Israel right because it's hard

to relate to somebody who doesn't look like you right and let's be honest we Indians look more Israeli than we do Palestinian right all that fair and lovely and also you can't relate to a struggle unless you've experienced it right it's not like our country was ever invaded occupied had it resources stolen and people murdered no that never happened to us and even if it did as long as we can beat our former colonizers in a cricket match once in a while it's okay so yeah go ahead continue ignoring the videos that are coming out

continue ignoring these cries for help go on live your lives go attend a Coldplay concert wear those LED wristbands and dance and pretend that the sky is full of stars and that humanity is at its peak go on do that right and then event eventually you'll meet somebody you'll fall in love you'll get married you'll have kids and as these kids get a little older you'll buy them a mobile phone because you need help with the parenting and then when that happens all the videos that you've been ignoring all these years will be there they're

still there waiting to be discovered and you know how children are when it comes to watching things they're not supposed to right they're going to switch on their phones log on to the Wi-Fi and all these videos will show up on their phones and they will watch them and they like oh my god what the and they will see the time STS and they like hey this happened recently my parents were around let me ask them about this and they will come home and they're going to have so many questions right and if you think

gen Z is annoying wait till Jen beta starts talking right they're going to come home be like Mom Mom look at this look at this look look at this all these children they look just like me all lying next to each other they all dead look at this other one this girl she was just 5 years old she was she was in a car all by herself no threat to anyone they still killed her look at this one 19 years old he was donating blood in a hospital and and and he burned to death what

were you doing mom dad what were you doing when this happened and you know the number one rule to Parenting always tell your children the truth right so when they ask you these questions you have to be honest with them be like well uh son um when all of this was happening the influencers I was following they were all telling us how I could get ready with them [Applause] don't don't do that to yourself guys like don't don't put yourself through this don't put yourself through the humiliation and embarrassment of watching your children lose respect

for you because you turned a blind eye when children were being murdered right don't put yourself to that like just do yourself a favor and pull out just pull out yeah I'll give you a better idea pull out and jizz on a canvas and let it dry then frame it and hang it on the wall in your house right so that when guests show up and they ask you what that is you can say this is a piece of art I call it my genocide w [Applause]