Lidando com a ingratidão - Raul Teixeira

Life and values Dealing with ingratitude This is a very interesting issue, this of gratitude. Curiously, we are not in the habit of saying thanks. It seems that our gratitude is that formal thing: Thank you, thank you, thank you.

And so, in that words, it seems that we already said it all. But gratitude is not exactly saying thank you, sometimes falsely, sometimes annoyed. It is very important to thank.

Gratitude is one of those gifts, for the benefactor, that magnifies the one who received the benefit. The benefactor does it because it does it. But thanking is a gesture of recognition to people who are not obliged to do things for us.

If they did, some movement of their heart inspired them to do so. Many people imagine that their mother, that their father, that their brothers have the obligation to take care of their personal affairs. Parents have the obligation to raise their children, to educate their children, but when they bring a candy from the street, bring a toy from the store, a new shirt or take us for a walk, it is something else, it is something extra.

When they sit with us and talk to us, when they allow us to expand our culture, to work on our sensitivity, they put us in a music, guitar, karate, judo, capoeira class, that's something extra. When we think about this, we see how little we thank our parents, but I want to repeat, it is not about thanking with the words "thank you very much. " It is about giving thanks with our way of being with them, of living with them, of acting with them.

How many children are ungrateful to their mothers, to their fathers. It seems, in many situations, that the mother is a maid who does not have the respect of her children because even servants should not be treated with disrespect. How many children scream, slam doors, torment themselves in such a way that they attack, even physically, their mothers.

Needless to say, we find ourselves in the terribly complicated territory of ingratitude. There are many people who say: My mother does not understand me, my father does not understand me, there is no dialogue, but what is the dialogue we are looking for? We often want a dialogue where they always approve us or do what we are asking them, or buy what we want.

Every time they tell us: No, you can't, it can't be, we can't, there is no dialogue. Those are our interpretations. This is an unforgivable kind of ingratitude because we, the children, owe everything to our parents.

We, the children, owe our lives to our parents. My mother is illiterate, my mother is moody, my mother . .

. Our mother may be whatever she is, but she is our mother. It was thanks to that illiterate, tense, moody woman that we were born.

There are so many other relaxed, cultured women, who hate their children, who hate kids. For that reason alone our mother deserves our respect, our affection, our attention, our gratitude and, curiously, only when they leave we recognize how important they were to us. How many times do we say that our father does not give us affection, he does not hug us, he never had a gesture of tenderness with us and he always treated us in a distant way.

But these fathers never let us lack anything, they always covered us with their protection. They never had a weekend for themselves, they were always working so that we could enjoy the domestic benefits. All this must be well thought because when we read the commandments received by Moses on Sinai, one of them catches our attention: Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.

Who cannot respect, honor, thank the fathers and mothers, will not do that with anyone else. We are presenting Life and values When we think of this gratitude towards parents it is because when we cannot be grateful to them, it will be very difficult to be grateful to anyone else. Our parents are the basis of our life, they represent the script that we all follow.

It is natural that they have obligations to their children, it is common. But there are things that they extrapolate, additional things, they give us music and art courses, they put us to study guitar, singing, karate, judo, they pay for our trips, they do a thousand things with effort, with sacrifices, which deserve our thanks. But, regardless of our parents, there are so many other people who help us to live.

Who does our laundry, who cooks for us, who does us a favor by paying a bill, taking care of our pet, who helps us do a job, a construction, a repair, who listens to complaints, who has ears in the name of friendship for our claims. . .

all these people should be the object of our thanks. So thanking is not exactly saying words, but living these relationships in such a way that the people involved feel gratified. How important it is to be faithful to friends, to our good friends.

The respect we owe them, despite the freedom we have. But there is a wall of glass between us, which is called respect. Respect for the other, for individuality, for interests.

None of that prevents our friendship or our goodwill. When we think of those who are the objects of ingratitude, it will be important not to grieve, not torment themselves with it. I know it is difficult for someone who serves, who helps, who reaches out and receives a slap, scorn, bitterness or indifference in response.

But what is pleasant, for those who help, is the very act of helping. Someone who loves feels gratified, not with the gratitude of others but with the possibility of loving, of having loved, of coming to love. It is so important to do good that this achievement already gratifies us.

It is so good to do good because we fit ourselves in the laws of God. Doing good is not a religious attitude. It seems that we link doing good with the fact that someone is religious.

No, doing good is a Law of life. Good is the Law of God. when we do it, we aren't doing any favor.

Unfortunately, we have reached a level, in our society, of lack of respect for the good, of inattention for the good that when a person, for example, is honest, finds a document, a wallet with money and returns it, it becomes in a national hero, when it should be the most common thing. Because the most common thing is the habit of taking advantage of everything, of exploring each other, of not thanking, as if people had an obligation to serve us. It is so good when those who do good have no desire to receive thanks.

The gratitude is already in the consciousness of having acted according to the Law of life. And the Law of life is the Law of God. Doing what is appropriate, distinguishing good from evil, is part of our duties.

Therefore, doing good should not be an attitude to expect gratitude from anyone. Let no one get frustrated. Do good knowing that you may not receive anything in return.

It is very common to realize that people have resentments for those who do good to them. It appears that they became against them, they feel hurt for having been helped, they feel humiliated, as many verbalize. They are proud creatures, many times, and for that reason, they do not bend, they do not know how to thank.

Whoever did it for them did nothing but obligation, they admit. But whoever does good, who performs this feat of loving, serving his neighbor, serving his fellow man, may not torment itself when there is no benefit, when there is no gratitude because in our conscience, which is where the Laws of God dwells, already assimilated by us, It has already rewarded us, I have already said that we are part of the flock of our Creator, of the friends of Christ, giving light to the whole Earth.