How to Make a Decision

a good life is the fruit of a succession of good decisions especially around love and work however we seldom accord to the business of decision-making the kind of careful attention it requires when faced with a large decision we lack rituals and procedures we typically procrastinate lean on the nearest person or rush headlong into an unexamined solution fortunately decision-making is a skill and like any other it can be taught the chief enemy of good decisions is a lack of sufficient perspectives on a problem we should systematically think through any issue from five distinct angles through the

eyes of variously our enemy our gut death caution and courage as we try out juggle with and then synthesize these oblique perspectives we will feel our sense of possibility expand and a tolerable way forward gradually emerge from the present confusion our enemies have deep insights into us they know our frailties they actively want the worst for us and they're bringing a desperate mean intelligence to bear on our case thinking of them helps beautifully to clarify our thoughts it can be unfeasibly hard to be a true friend to ourselves in the way we should be our

minds may well go blank if asked to imagine what a sweet and well-meaning person might advise us to do next with so much better at getting into the heads for bitterest foes they appreciate our weaknesses and temptations like no other we can at last put these characters to constructive use by doing the very opposite of what we suspect probably very correctly they might propose and say we will be energized and focused by the haunting voices of those dispiriting but very telling and mesmerizing judges those who refuse to believe in us in a sense we know

the arts are already or at least one version of it we call it gut instinct and it's there from the moment a dilemma first appears the gut is the accumulation of all the decision making lessons we've ever derived across our lives revealed and consciously at speed most of us have become rather good at not listening to the gut probably it got us into trouble a number of times maybe pushing us into some crazy moments so which we paid dear so now we pride ourselves on being thinking people who take their time gather evidence and make

full use of their higher mental powers as well we should nevertheless we thereby lose a source of important insight we should be brave enough to invite our gut to the decision-making table not necessarily in order to follow it but in order to know what it wants and then submit it stubborn and impatient certainties to gentle rational cross-examination the largest but always easily forgotten certainty is that all our decisions are unfolding in the backdrop of a giant ticking death clock we should listen to its beat and take its daunting messages to heart the thought of death

has a habit of highlighting our responsibilities to ourselves and of weakening our concern for living according to what's expected of us by society it's a terrifying agent of authenticity death may lend us a perverse new sort of confidence to tackle challenges by frightening us about one enormous thing it may make us less scared of the many smaller obstacles in our way our lives won't be what they could be unless we submit pretty much every choice we face to the arbiter of eternity and oblivion somewhere around the table at every decision must be the voice of

caution it wears doughty clothes and speaks quietly it certainly lacks glamour in an age of bravado and bombast it's easy to feel that we must always and invariably jump because life has to be about giving the new ago but it may not be let's remember caution clears its throat to tell us that most new businesses fail most schemes end in disaster and most future relationships will merely rehash the themes of the current unsatisfactory one furthermore there's a huge amount to be lost and there are many people around us who make it very hurt by our

ambitions the devil one knows may just have the edge over the many demons one doesn't quite caution doesn't look down on the idea of compromise it recognizes that there are at points simply no ideal options for the imperfect beings we ultimately are caution has the bravery not always to try to rebel the best reality from an early age we've learned how to follow the rules wait in line and do the dutiful expected things we can be good boys and girls it got us to where we are today there would have been no other way to

learn how to spell drive a car or take up a position in the working world but there can now be a subtle risk from an opposite direction the risk of being overly faithful for too long to conventions that were dreamt up without our particular interests and hopes in mind at points we need vigorously to relearn the art of courage to remember that the happiest lives have invariably had inflection points where people did the slightly unexpected and weird thing took a gamble and won sometimes caution is just weakness and cowardice wrapped up in the cloak of

self-deception courage and caution need to fight this one out without any presumption of victory on either side any hard decision we make will always by definition not be perfect but with such thinking behind us we have a slightly better chance than usual of opting for the good enough joy our videos are just the start of our content we believe in making the world a more emotionally intelligent place and to that end we've now also published some extraordinary books as well as other merchandise that reinforces some of the themes illustrated in our videos please click on

the link below to see more