8 Types of People We should Not Help I Stoicism

Imagine you're standing at the edge of a riverbank, watching as people struggle to cross the turbulent waters. Some are genuinely trying to make it across, doing their best to navigate the current, while others are floundering without even attempting to swim. As a compassionate person, your first instinct is to help—to offer a hand or throw a rope to anyone in need.

But the more you help, the more you notice something troubling: some of these people aren't just failing to cross the river; they're not even trying. Worse, there are a few who, despite your help, seem to resent you for it. You step back and realize that your goodwill is being taken advantage of.

You're exhausted from throwing lifelines to those who either don't want them or misuse them. That's when you remember the teachings of stoicism—to act with reason, not emotion, and to focus your energy where it can do the most good. The river, in this case, is life, and the people struggling to cross it represent different types of individuals we encounter in our journey.

Stoicism, the ancient philosophy of wisdom and virtue, teaches us that while helping others is noble, it's equally important to recognize when our efforts are being wasted. Stoic philosophers like Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus, and Seneca remind us that we must be discerning in whom we offer our help to. Life is short, and our resources—time, energy, and compassion—are limited.

If we spend all our energy trying to help those who neither appreciate nor benefit from it, we lose the opportunity to make a meaningful impact on those who truly need and deserve our support. This story is about understanding when it's time to stop offering help to certain types of people. There are those who will drag you down, exhaust your energy, and never appreciate your efforts.

While it might feel harsh, stoicism teaches us that wisdom comes from knowing when to walk away. It's not about being unkind or indifferent; it's about being wise enough to recognize that helping some people only perpetuates their problems or, worse, harms you in the process. In today's video, we will explore eight types of people that, according to stoic philosophy, we should carefully consider before offering help.

Choosing whom to help is not selfish; it is a way to protect ourselves from negative influences, ensuring that our mind remains strong and peaceful. Let's find out if you are wasting your kindness on these individuals. Number one: The Ungrateful.

Stoic philosophy emphasizes the value of gratitude in life. A grateful person not only shows appreciation for what they receive but also maintains a deep connection between giving and receiving within the community. In contrast, an ungrateful person disrupts this balance, creating negativity and weakening the spirit of mutual support in society.

Ungrateful individuals often fail to recognize the value of what they have, demanding more without ever feeling satisfied. So why does stoic philosophy advise us to avoid helping the ungrateful? An ungrateful person not only refuses to express thanks but may also make you feel that helping them is an obligation rather than a voluntary act.

Imagine helping someone only to receive a cold stare, silence, or even criticism that your help was not good enough. Your kindness is not only unappreciated but becomes a source of hurt and disappointment. As the famous stoic philosopher Marcus Tullius Cicero said, "Gratitude is not only a virtue; it is the root of all other virtues.

" Without gratitude, all good deeds are overshadowed. Even in religion, gratitude is seen as a core value. Jesus Christ, in the Bible, constantly emphasized the importance of gratitude and forgiveness.

One of the most notable stories is when he healed ten lepers, but only one returned to thank him. He asked, "Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine?

No one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner. " This illustrates that even in the most noble acts, there are those who fail to show gratitude, and it is such individuals who diminish the beauty of forgiveness. If Jesus, who was always willing to give and forgive, also recognized the importance of gratitude, why shouldn't we?

Helping the ungrateful only drains our precious energy and time when that attention could be given to those who truly deserve it. In modern life, we easily encounter similar situations. Think of a colleague who always asks for help but never thanks or acknowledges your efforts, or a family member who constantly expects financial support from you but never expresses gratitude or makes an effort to improve themselves.

These situations often leave us feeling stuck and exhausted. The question here is, should we continue to help such people knowing that our assistance only makes them more dependent and further from the true values of life? Thus, rather than wasting time and energy on the ungrateful, seek out those who have gratitude and will use your help to advance in life.

That is the way to truly spread the values of stoic philosophy. When we help others, we often expect gratitude—not necessarily in the form of material rewards, but a simple acknowledgment of the effort and goodwill we extended. However, some people respond with ingratitude.

Helping the ungrateful is like pouring water into a broken vase; no matter how much you fill it, it will never hold. Stoicism teaches that we should act with virtue, not for recognition, but that doesn't mean we should allow ourselves to be drained by people who constantly overlook our help. In our personal lives, consider the analogy of a friend who borrows money.

You might lend them the amount not because you expect something in return, but because you care. However, when the time comes, they neither repay the loan nor express any thanks but instead come back asking for more. It's a one-way street.

Stoicism encourages us to help others when it aligns with reason and Virtue, but we should also be mindful of those who never appreciate it in business. Helping an ungrateful coworker may lead to more work for you and no improvement in your working relationship. This coworker will likely continue to rely on you, never showing appreciation or offering reciprocal support.

Number two: the lazy. In stoic philosophy, acting with purpose and using time wisely is one of the core foundations of life. The famous stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius once said, "If you waste your time, you will never get it back.

" This message highlights the preciousness of every moment in life, which is why lazy people are not worthy of our help. Laziness is not just about doing nothing; it is the refusal to take meaningful action. Lazy people, instead of facing reality and fulfilling basic life responsibilities, choose the easiest path, avoiding, delaying, and surrendering to circumstances.

The lazy not only harm themselves but also waste the time and energy of others who genuinely want to help and encourage them to improve. A real-life example could be a friend who constantly complains about life, work, or the difficulties they are facing. Every time you talk to them, their story revolves around their inability to find a way out of their situation.

You patiently listen and even offer practical solutions, like finding a new job, learning new skills, or changing their environment. But after a long time, you really realize they have not applied any of the advice you gave. Instead, they continue to wallow in complaints with no motivation to act.

Why is that? Because they are used to avoiding responsibility and expecting others to rescue them from their problems. In today's world, such people appear in many different forms—from someone who always waits for others to solve their problems to someone who continually complains about their circumstances but refuses to take any steps to improve their life.

A common example is individuals who rely financially on family or friends, always finding reasons to avoid facing life's challenges on their own. This not only exhausts others but also causes these individuals to sink deeper into laziness and passivity. However, we must also ask ourselves: Is there laziness innate, or is it the result of circumstances and upbringing?

This leads to a larger question of ethics and responsibility: Should we always abandon them, or is there another way to motivate them to change? This is something each person must answer based on the specific situation. But one thing is certain: no one can save a lazy person if they are unwilling to save themselves.

In conclusion, the lazy are those who refuse to grow, refuse to act, and betray the trust of others. Stoic philosophy teaches us to value our time and energy, not wasting it on those who do not deserve it. Ask yourself, are you helping a lazy person without bringing about any change?

If so, stop, because your time is worth more than that. Stoicism emphasizes personal responsibility and hard work. The stoic philosopher Epictetus taught that each individual is responsible for their own actions and growth.

Helping someone who refuses to help themselves, who prefers to remain stagnant rather than face challenges, is counterproductive. It's like pushing a car that's in neutral gear; no matter how much effort you exert, the car will not move without its own engine propelling it forward. In friendships, the lazy friend may always come to you for assistance with projects, advice, or favors.

You become their crutch. They don’t need your help to succeed, but rather, they rely on your efforts to avoid taking any of their own. Continually helping this person prevents them from ever developing the initiative or discipline required for growth.

In professional settings, assisting the lazy individual can create workplace imbalance. Others may notice that this person doesn't pull their weight, yet you take on their burdens. This fosters resentment, and worse, it encourages the lazy colleague to continue relying on others without developing their own skills or work ethic.

Next, let's move on to the third type of person. But before we do, I have a question for you: Have you ever wondered, is everyone truly deserving of help, even if they never take responsibility for their actions? This question invites us to engage in a discussion about the third type of person: the irresponsible.

Number three: the irresponsible. In stoic philosophy, responsibility is a core value. The irresponsible are not only those who lack the ability to complete tasks correctly but also those who refuse to face the consequences of their actions, leaving the world to suffer from the mistakes they cause.

Stoics believe that helping such individuals is not only a waste of effort but can also lead us away from the path of peace and inner freedom. Irresponsible people fail to realize that their actions impact not only themselves but also the entire community. A modern-day example includes those who break the law but escape the consequences of their actions.

They may drive recklessly, disregard rules, or evade civic duties, causing harm to innocent people. Unfortunately, this lack of responsibility is sometimes forgiven, and society ultimately pays the price. Stoic philosophy teaches us to carefully consider before offering help to anyone.

Assisting an irresponsible person only allows them to continue down a path of immorality. This not only harms them but also diminishes the value of our efforts and kindness. Helping someone who refuses responsibility does not encourage their growth but rather supports their stagnation and poor behavior.

A common example from life is irresponsible leaders—those who refuse to take responsibility for the decisions they make. In many organizations, when a leader fails to own up to their mistakes, the entire team and company suffer the consequences. This leads to a loss of trust, confusion, and the collapse of the system.

Imagine if a leader did not dare to admit their errors. Would the employees under them still trust and give their best efforts? The responsible stoic philosophy does not teach us to turn away from compassion, but it does teach us to carefully choose who deserves our help.

Similarly, Jesus once said, "Do not throw pearls to swine. " This means we should not waste precious things on those who do not appreciate them. Help, kindness, and support are the pearls of life.

If we offer them to the irresponsible, they will be disregarded and wasted. Life is a series of meaningful actions, and each action comes with responsibility. How can we expect progress if we are not willing to take responsibility for our actions?

The irresponsible not only reject personal responsibility but also erode the bond of trust and connection in society. As someone who follows the stoic path, be cautious in offering help, and always remember that helping should not be about rescuing the irresponsible but about creating opportunities for them to learn to face their responsibilities. Helping the irresponsible is like trying to build a house on shifting sand; no matter how well you build, the foundation will always collapse under the weight of poor choices.

Stoicism encourages us to act with wisdom and foresight—qualities that irresponsible people often lack. They don't learn from their mistakes, and worse, they frequently involve others in the mess they create. In family life, helping an irresponsible sibling or relative may involve constantly bailing them out of financial trouble or covering for their poor decisions.

You may think you're being supportive, but in reality, you are enabling their lack of accountability. By continuously stepping in to solve their problems, you remove their need to face the consequences of their actions, stunting their growth. In the workplace, a boss or colleague who routinely drops the ball may look to you for damage control.

While you may help once or twice out of goodwill, continually cleaning up after their mistakes will burn you out. The Stoics believed in self-discipline and personal accountability. People who repeatedly demonstrate irresponsibility don't embody these virtues, and assisting them does little to promote their personal growth.

Number four: the manipulators. Have you ever felt manipulated by someone, whether at work, within your family, or even in close relationships? These individuals rarely make direct demands, but through skillfully manipulating emotions and situations, they lead us to follow their will without us realizing it.

Stoic philosophy, which emphasizes self-control and not allowing ourselves to be swept up in negative emotions, offers the perspective that helping manipulators could be one of the greatest mistakes we can make. Looking at real-life examples, it's clear that many public figures have fallen into the trap of manipulators. One prominent case is Britney Spears.

She was manipulated by her own father for over a decade under a conservatorship. Her father used his legal authority not only to control her finances but also to dictate her personal life and career. For years, Britney lived under strict control, unable to make decisions about her own work or personal life.

This manipulation not only took away her freedom but also caused significant mental anguish. This led to the Free Britney movement, where millions supported her in breaking free from her father's authoritarian control. In this situation, was it right to support her father, the manipulator?

Stoic philosophy teaches you that you have control over your attitude, values, goals, beliefs, thinking, and emotions. Clearly, helping someone like Britney's father would only strengthen the manipulator's power, while the victim, like Britney, would lose her rightful voice and autonomy. Our kindness, according to stoic philosophy, must be accompanied by wisdom and clarity.

When facing a manipulator, we should not let empathy blind us, but instead see them for who they truly are. Another example is in relationships, where one person consistently controls and manipulates the other. They use emotions to keep the other in a dependent state, creating feelings of fear, loss, or guilt if their desires are not met.

If we continue in such a relationship, are we truly helping them, or are we harming ourselves? Ultimately, stoic philosophy teaches that true freedom comes from controlling our own mind and actions. Helping manipulators only strips us of that freedom.

Our assistance should not turn us into victims of exploitation, but should foster positive growth for both parties. Manipulators use others for their gain, twisting situations to suit their needs while pretending to act in your best interest. Helping a manipulator is akin to handing the keys of your home to a thief; they will use your resources to benefit themselves, leaving you empty-handed.

Stoicism teaches us to value honesty and integrity, but manipulators operate on deception and self-interest. In relationships, manipulative individuals might play on your emotions, making you feel guilty if you don't help them. They position themselves as victims, taking advantage of your kindness.

Over time, their subtle control can diminish your sense of agency and self-worth. The Stoics warned us to guard against those who twist our goodwill for their benefit, as it erodes our capacity to act rationally and virtuously. At work, manipulators often flatter or pressure you into completing tasks that are meant to be their responsibility.

Once the work is done, they take the credit while leaving you with nothing but exhaustion. Helping manipulators only strengthens their ability to exploit others and weakens your own ability to act justly. We'd like to thank you and congratulate you for making it halfway through today's video.

Your presence here shows that you are fully ready for this journey. Now shift your focus to the remaining five types of people as you pause and reflect on your self-improvement journey. Number five: the chronic critics.

Have you ever felt surrounded by people who constantly judge and criticize without end? No matter what you do or how hard you try, they always find a reason to belittle and dismiss your efforts. In stoic philosophy, we.

. . Learn how to understand and deal with such individuals—those who are chronic critics.

Chronic critics view life through a negative lens. They don't seek solutions or improvement but instead amplify and spread their own dissatisfaction. A chronic critic is someone who always searches for faults, no matter how small, in others.

Their intention isn't to contribute positively but to bring others down, creating a sense of inadequacy in their targets. Stoic philosophy teaches us to recognize the difference between constructive criticism and negative criticism. Constructive criticism comes from people with good intentions who genuinely want to help you improve.

Chronic criticism, on the other hand, stems from negativity and ill will. This is the fundamental difference between someone who wants to help and someone who simply wants to destroy. You may ask why they do this.

The answer often lies in the fact that these individuals tend to lack self-confidence and are dissatisfied with themselves. When they see others succeed or achieve something positive, they immediately feel threatened or inferior. This leads them to criticize—not to help others improve, but to drag them down to their own level.

If you try to help a chronic critic, will they actually change, or will they just continue their cycle of negativity? The truth is, you cannot change someone who doesn't want to change. Chronic critics are not interested in your help because their goal is not to seek improvement but to maintain a sense of superiority through criticism.

Consider leaders in a workplace environment. A good leader will offer helpful advice to help their employees improve and grow. On the contrary, a leader who constantly criticizes, pointing out everything that is wrong without offering any specific guidance, will not help the team progress.

They will demoralize employees, reduce productivity, and sometimes bring the entire organization down. We can't please everyone, and it's crucial to be selective about who deserves our time and energy. Stoic philosophy teaches us how to protect ourselves from external negative influences.

Chronic critics are a prime example of people we can't control. They are not worth the investment of our efforts because they do not seek change; they only wish to maintain their negative outlook in life. We must learn to refuse help to those who only bring negativity.

Save your kindness for those who truly deserve it—those who are willing to change and grow. Chronic critics are not people you can save; your help should go to those who appreciate it and use it to become better. Chronic critics find fault in everything, regardless of effort or good intentions.

Helping these individuals is like planting seeds in toxic soil: no matter how well you nurture them, the environment will never allow anything to grow. Stoicism emphasizes constructive feedback and the importance of personal improvement, but chronic critics aren't interested in improvement; they only seek to undermine. In friendships, chronic critics may constantly belittle your ideas or efforts.

Even when you help them, they criticize the way you did it, finding fault where there is none. This behavior drains your energy and makes you question your value. Stoicism teaches us to stay centered and focused on what we can control.

However, when someone's primary mode of interaction is to tear down rather than build up, offering them help only invites further negativity. In the workplace, helping a chronic critic often leads to frustration. No matter how well you complete a task, they will find something wrong with it.

Constructive criticism is valuable, but chronic critics are more interested in finding fault than fostering improvement. Stoicism teaches us to act for the greater good, but the chronic critic's constant negativity only creates an environment of dissatisfaction and resentment. Join the conversation in our comments: has your help truly benefited someone, or has it been a wasted effort in vain?

We look forward to hearing your stories. Number six: the narcissists. Have you ever wondered if it's worth helping those who see themselves as the center of the universe, only caring about themselves and ignoring others?

Narcissists don't just crave attention; they expect the world to revolve around them. According to stoic philosophy, helping narcissists is futile and can even be harmful to you. Narcissists are often so immersed in their self-admiration that they become incapable of admitting mistakes or confronting their flaws.

They only want to hear praise and will turn their backs on anyone who dares criticize or advise them. This makes any external help meaningless, as it is not received with a mindset open to growth. Imagine trying to help someone understand they need to change their approach to succeed, but instead of listening, they convince themselves that their way is already perfect.

Would you still want to help? Stoic philosophy teaches us to focus on what is within our control. Epicurus once said, "It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.

" Helping a narcissist won't change their view of themselves or the world around them; instead, they may see it as further validation of their inflated ego. This not only diminishes the value of your help but also reinforces their stubbornness and arrogance. In today's world, narcissists appear in various environments—from personal relationships to public situations.

They dominate conversations and turn every scenario into a stage to showcase their oversized ego. For example, in a group of friends, a narcissist often overshadows others by constantly boasting about their achievements, rarely showing interest in others' feelings or contributions. As a result, relationships become imbalanced and distant, as friends no longer feel valued in the narcissist's eyes.

When facing narcissists, stoic philosophy advises us to stay rational and avoid getting drawn into their arrogance. No amount of kindness or support will ever fill the emptiness within them. Narcissists do not seek change or growth; they seek unconditional admiration.

Thus, be thoughtful when deciding whom to help. Remember, true help is not. Just about giving, it is about guiding others to recognize the right path.

Narcissists, with their closed hearts and prideful minds, cannot receive this lesson, and perhaps they are not deserving of your effort. We have just explored the narcissistic personality type, one of the types of people who should not receive help from others. Now we would like to introduce you to another equally negative type of person to avoid: the opportunist.

From the stoic philosophy perspective, opportunists are not only ungrateful, but they also constantly seek to take advantage of others, even in the most difficult moments. For such individuals, offering help is not only a waste but also a means of enabling unethical behavior. Let's continue to explore why opportunists should not be helped in the next part of the video.

Number seven: the opportunists. Stoic philosophy teaches us that true value lies in living according to moral principles and preserving virtue. Opportunists do not live by the values of sincerity and honesty; they exploit the help of others solely to achieve their personal goals, without any regard for those who assisted them.

Helping them not only harms us, but also contributes to the degradation of society's values. Opportunists often appear in situations where they can gain more than they deserve. They don't contribute effort or share the burden, but are always present to benefit from the success of others.

For instance, in the workplace, an opportunist might avoid all meetings, shirk responsibilities, but when success comes, they are the first to step up and claim rewards. They build nothing, yet always know how to reap the fruits of others' labor. The question is: should we help someone who only seeks personal gain without contributing anything to the collective?

If you continue to help them, are you truly aiding their growth, or merely encouraging their unethical behavior? When helping an opportunist, we not only fail to see any positive change, but we also nurture their bad habits by giving them undeserved opportunities. We unintentionally encourage their selfish behavior and push truly deserving individuals away from valuable opportunities.

In reality, we often encounter opportunists not only at work, but also in everyday life. In community activities, we frequently see opportunists show up when they see personal benefit, but they quickly disappear when real dedication is needed. Such individuals not only diminish team spirit, but also drain the energy of those around them.

Opportunists do not deserve our help; they are not only ungrateful, but also abuse the kindness of others. Stoic philosophy teaches that kindness and help should be used responsibly. The best way to help an opportunist is to stop allowing them to take advantage of our kindness.

By doing so, we force them to face the consequences of their actions. Ultimately, kindness and help are only truly valuable when given to the right people. If we spend time and effort helping opportunists, we are merely enabling unethical behavior.

We must not only protect ourselves, but also safeguard the noble values we uphold. Narcissists are driven by self-seeking to manipulate situations to serve their inflated sense of self. Helping them is like feeding a fire; it will only grow larger and more destructive.

Narcissists often feign vulnerability or charm to gain your assistance, but their goal is to boost their own ego, not to genuinely improve or foster connection. In personal relationships, a narcissist may pretend to need your help, but they rarely offer anything in return. They view others as tools to be used rather than as equals to be valued.

Stoicism teaches the importance of treating others with fairness and integrity, but narcissists lack this reciprocity. Offering them help only fuels their sense of entitlement and leaves you feeling exploited. In business, helping a narcissistic boss or colleague can be detrimental.

They are quick to take credit for work they didn't do and deflect blame when things go wrong. Stoics believed in fairness and justice, but narcissists exploit these values for personal gain. Helping a narcissist reinforces their toxic behavior and diminishes your own sense of fairness and balance.

Number eight: the envious. In stoic philosophy, we are advised not to waste our energy on things that are unworthy, especially when dealing with negative types of people like the envious. Filled with resentment and comparisons, these are not people deserving of help.

Envious individuals often cannot find joy in others' success; instead, they feel irritated and frustrated when others progress beyond them. This not only harms themselves, but can also negatively affect those around them. Envy is a kind of poison that destroys inner peace and makes people blind to their value as they constantly compare themselves to others.

The envious not only harm themselves, but also create insecurity and negativity in the lives of those around them. The first thing to understand is that when you try to help an envious person, your efforts will be in vain. They will not appreciate your help.

On the contrary, they may feel that you are establishing a power distance between the two of you, highlighting their weaknesses. Envious people often fail to realize that the problem lies within themselves; instead, they believe others are responsible for the injustices they perceive themselves to be suffering. Therefore, even if you have good intentions, the envious might see your support as a challenge.

The example of Steve Jobs and John Sculley serves as a clear illustration of the damage caused by envy. Jobs invited Sculley to Apple with the hope of developing the company together, but Sculley's envy turned their partnership into a rivalry. Instead of appreciating and learning from Jobs, Sculley felt threatened by his talent and ultimately ousted Jobs from the very company he founded.

However, Sculley's envy led to a poor decision, as Jobs later returned to Apple and transformed it into one of the largest companies in the world. This shows that helping the envious is not only futile but can also lead. .

. To negative consequences: Sometimes, the best approach is to maintain distance to protect yourself and your inner peace. Just like pouring water into a cup with a hole, you cannot truly help an envious person, as the negativity within them will always drain away whatever you try to offer.

Rather than focusing on them, it's better to invest your time and energy into helping those who are appreciative and eager to grow. Ultimately, Stoic philosophy teaches us that helping others is a worthy pursuit, but we must choose the right people to protect our own balance and peace. What do you think about this?

Is there someone in your life whom you feel does not deserve your help? When we choose whom to help, the key lies not only in kindness but also in wisdom. Stoic philosophy teaches us that our energy and time are limited, and we must protect them from negative people.

Some individuals, no matter how sincere you are, will neither appreciate your help nor may even cause harm to you. Ungrateful, lazy, envious, or manipulative people often carry within them issues that only they can resolve. Our intervention not only fails to help them but may also hurt us.

Remember, kindness does not mean sacrificing your inner peace. Sometimes, refusing to help is the best way to protect your own values and maintain balance in your life. Save your support for those who appreciate it and are willing to change, as that is a worthy investment for both you and them.

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