AMIGO SECRETO NA CADEIA

My secret friend is here in Bangu, he likes Pagode. . .

-Wallace. -It's Wallace. It's me.

No. He's a fan of Vasco, -Who's it? -No, not me.

-No? -No. He's here because he stole some chicken.

. . -It's Barrigada.

-Barrigada! Barrigada! Barrigada!

Great! Cigarettes! I was out!

-Good for you! -Luxury item! I'll go now, my secret friend has been here for some time, we all know he's kind of stressed out, He's here because of armed robbery.

. . Robbery?

It's me, it's me. No. He said armed robbery, yours was just theft.

Armed robbery? It's me then. .

. -It's Pliers! -Pliers!

Pliers! Pliers! Here you go.

What's that? Pre-paid phone card! You'll have to train your Falsetto.

Wait. . .

Daddy, daddy! I've been kidnapped! Great!

What was that? Come on. Go, go.

My secret friend is very quiet, kind of lonely, he likes watching TV. It can be anyone, we all like TV. He's lost to me at Rummy, doesn't like cleaning his cell.

. . It's hard, dude, we need easier tips.

He owns the biggest construction company in Brazil. . .

Marcelo! Marcelo! Marcelo!

Here you go. . .

What's that? This is. .

. Look at that! Wow, a Playboy magazine!

Great! I've already fucked this girl. He's mocking us.

Let's continue. Guys, It's a big package. my secret Santa is a former Governor of the state of Rio de Janeiro.

We need easy tips, we have 6 former governors in here. Ok, then. He's friends with the mayor, he did overpriced fraudulent public bid contracts, he had an alliance with the worker's party, he was financed by The Universal Church of the Kingdom of God, it's easy, guys.

We'll try guessing until tomorrow like this. Yes, we will. Ok, then, let's go.

He had a Radio Show in São Gonçalo. It's Alcides! -Alcides!

Alcides! Alcides! -It's me!

What's this? It's your Habeas corpus. Mine was denied, this is a medical test.

Silly, It's your "Habeas corpus", it's from a sick uncle of mine, I had it made in your name. -Can I use it? -Yes, you can go.

-There's only one problem, -What? you'll have to go through surgery. Really?

Silly guy, "Surgery". You scared me! Let me go!

Let me go! I'm innocent! You're going to kill me!

I'm fucking sick! I have my rights! Let I make a call!

Fuck. Another governor? I don't know, he said "Let I make a call".

I may be an ex-president.