The Morning After I Killed Myself

[Music] the morning after i killed myself i woke up i made myself breakfast in bed [Music] i added salt and pepper to my eggs and use my toast for a cheese and bacon sandwich i squeeze the grapefruit into a juice glass i scrape the ashes from the frying pan rinse the butter of the counter i washed the dishes and folded the towels [Music] the morning after i killed myself i fell in love not with the boy down the street or the middle school principal not with the everyday jogger or the grocer who always left the

avocados out of the bag i fell in love with my mother and the way she sat on the floor of my room holding each rock from my collection in her palms until they grew dark with sweat i fell in love with my father down at the river as he placed my note into a bottle and sent it into the current with my brother who once believed in unicorns but who now sat in his desk at school trying desperately to believe i still existed the morning after i killed myself i walked the dog i watched the

way her tail twitched when a bird flew by or how her pace quickened at the sight of a cat i saw the empty space in her eyes when she reached the stick and turned around to greet me so he could play catch but saw nothing but sky in my place i stood by a stranger stroked her muzzle and she wilted beneath her touch like she once did for mine the morning after i killed myself i went back to the neighbor's yard where i left my footprint in concrete as a two-year-old and examined how they were

already fading [Music] i picked a few daily leaves and pull a few weeds and watch the elderly woman through her window as she read the paper with the news of my dad i saw her husband spit tobacco into the kitchen sink and bring her daily medication the morning after i killed myself i watched the sun come up each orange tree opened like a hand and the kid down the street pointed out a single red clown to his mother morning after i killed myself i went back to the body in the morning and tried to talk

some sense into her i told her about the avocados and the stepping stones the river and her parents i told her about the sunsets and the dog and the beach [Music] the morning after i killed myself [Music] i tried to un-kill myself as i couldn't finish what i started you