If You're Struggling with LOW SELF-ESTEEM - WATCH THIS | Jay Shetty

i just said this this week to somebody look at me like i was crazy and i talked about i said some of your low self-esteem and your lack of confidence is actually an ego issue that you have and the person stared back at me like how in the world is someone with no comp or low confidence or low self-esteem struggling from an ego issue and i don't know that i articulated it well enough although it's in one of the podcasts that i've released one of my solo podcasts but you articulate it right on so talk

about that for a second yes it's an interesting concept and it's talked about in the bhagavad bhagavad-gita another monk text and and in the book it talks about how like ego is demonstrated in two ways so ego is either i am the best in the world and i think i'm better than everyone or ego says you're the worst in the world you're the worst than everyone you're you're much worse than everyone or you say my life is the best and the greatest my life is the worst right my life is far worse than anyone else

so the ego likes to push you to the extreme it doesn't like to give you balance and honesty and reality it likes to it wants to make you feel like you've got the worst life in the world and no one else understands it no one gets there only you get in you get the worst or you're the best and no one else gets you you're untouchable and and people miss that they're like how does that make sense exactly like you said but it does make sense because the ego wants to be the top or the

bottom but the top of the bottom yes he doesn't just want to be at the bottom of the bottom yeah it's going to be the bottom of the bottom of the bottom but the top of the bottom right well yeah and so we get lost in that and we don't think of it as ego yeah and that's why the only antidote to either ego is self-honesty is being honest and honesty is i'm good at these things i'm great at these things and i suck at these things right that's honestly like and we could all sit

down me and you could sit down with a list of our skills and map out what we were great at what we were average at and what we knew we were terrible at yes and that's honesty that keeps you so away from either ego do you think part of it too is that when you're suffering from my life is the worst that you're focusing on you and you're centering on you and there's an ego connection to that too and that this pathway you talked about earlier about getting into the service of other people yeah removes

you from you which begins to remove the ego absolutely i mean that's a huge point you just made right there like you just dropped some serious like there's like a you know please don't underestimate that point everyone's listening like the the challenge with all self-centeredness is that all you then indulge yourself in is your own pain well very good right you just indulge you just submerge and like immerse yourself in pain because it's all about you yeah and you know i think gandhi said it best is that you find yourself when you lose yourself in

the service of others and what i love about that statement is that what he means by that is and and empaths get this mixed up sometimes so i want to clarify because a lot of people who are empaths who are listening like jay i'm always trying to help people but then i get screwed over so here's the answer you're not helping people so that they can thank you you're not helping people so that they can be grateful to you you're helping people because you know it's the right thing to do but more importantly you're helping

people because you get to understand and experiment and experience different parts of yourself when i helped kids growing up in india that were that didn't have food and we were giving them free food i learned so much about myself when i was able to go and give talks that help people or now i make videos or podcasts you learn more about yourself when you help people you don't learn anything about yourself when you're just sitting there filling out a quiz going who am i what am i like you don't figure but you learn about yourself

when you help people and and this is what we don't realize i can't remember who said it recently it was someone saying about jeff bezos but they were saying that you know the scale at which you succeed is the depth of the problem you solve and so even if you look at someone like jeff bezos who's extremely successful he's successful because he solved a problem that many people have bill gates is successful because he solved the problem so even if you look at monetary success even if you look at financial success it comes from service

any success comes from service a musician is famous because they're serving they're serving you by understanding your feelings making music you now feel comforted so you follow them they have served you wow so don't think of services just charity and giving money which are beautiful things which we all should do but don't just limit your life to thinking i serve on the weekends or i serve once a year you can serve every moment this podcast is the same no question right it's your service because you're serving people by giving them an alternative to just watching

some trash show but they're actually here learning from you and learning from the people that you bring on the show i've watched you to that point this is a personal thing because i'm i'm such a believer that you're you move the needle in the world that you can help change consciousness i'm in my little way people say why do you in my small way i would love to think i'm uh like in that ocean that you see out there like a drop of water and altering the consciousness of the world just just a skosh not

me but who i can share with people and my own messages and i believe you're one of those people and so i will tell you as i've watched this meteoric rise of yours i've actually privately a few times not every day but a few times i've actually prayed for you that you that you would keep this level of humility and so this is an interesting thing i wanted to ask you but it will serve everybody else there is this balance isn't there of wanting this book to do well right you don't want to sell two

copies you want to do very well when you put a video out there's probably of this there's got to be a little part of you that's like how well did it do and i think that line right there i'm not even sure if you or i know the answer entirely but do you struggle with that balance of i'm doing this in the service of people yet i'm sensitive to the response of what i'm doing because i think someone listens right now who's going to have a present sales presentation tomorrow they want to be in the

service of that person but there's this part of them that is in that balance we've talked about earlier about what's the response going to be how am i going to be received i want people to like me i want to how do you navigate that that's a great question man that's huge and and the answer let's take that sales person the more time that person spends in empathy their customers pain and what the customer is really looking for the better they're going to be received so that service mindset always helps because if you're thinking about

and this is what it comes and i said this to my team when we were writing the book and everything i was working on i said if i sit here right now and all i'm thinking about while i'm writing the book is being a best-selling book then guess what i'm now not writing the book i'm now living in the future and i'm not living in the present and so the only way to make this a best-selling book is to do the process properly and i don't think and this is what i do and this is

the only thing that's helping me and again i go through all the time after my first video went viral three four years ago i stopped creating because of the pressure that i wouldn't be able to live up to it wow so i actually got scared because i was like oh well what if the next video doesn't do as well everyone's going to think i'm tanking like you get into that self-doubt and that self and i got into that space where i was just thank you for being honest about it yeah no really like genuinely i

didn't want to make a video again because i was like this video just got 40 million views like how am i ever going to beat that right and you get scared i'm not putting anything out i'm just going to stop and then i started to realize i was like well now i'm not living in service anymore i'm living out of ego and i'm living for feeling a certain way and guess what i'm not feeling better by not putting anything out yeah and actually if i just serve more i'll learn more so the way i've made

sense of it and there's a verse in the gita that explains it too is that you have full control over the preparation the process and the practice but you have no control over the potential result but all of those three things are the result in and of themselves and so if you get addicted to the process of writing the practice of connecting with the right people who can help share your work and hey like you said i am focused on the process of making sure that the most people in the world have the opportunity to

buy this book but then if they choose not to buy it i can't control that but i can control making sure that it's in front of everyone and that i believe in the context and that to me is not attachment that to me is not uh ego that to me is trying to live your best life i mean like you know if you didn't just try if you're like i wrote this book but who cares yes i mean that's not service either because the way i explain it and i'm not i'm not claiming that this

is it and i'm not trying to say i'm it i'm trying to say that i think we all feel this way if you or me see an amazing movie we want to tell everyone about it if you read an amazing book you want to tell everyone about it if you found the cure to cancer you tell everyone about it for me i got to live an incredible life thanks to these amazing teachers i met i just want to tell everyone about it like that's all i'm doing yes but i want to tell everyone because of

how powerful it was brother that's the best description i've ever heard of there's this line i've always tried to teach of you want to have outcomes but yet you need to separate from them yeah and that's a difficult thing when people are trying to achieve different things that was perfectly stated absolutely being addicted to the process of it but actually separating from what you can't control i absolutely yeah absolutely love it here are three signs you're struggling with a lack of purpose number one you feel pressure to know what you want to do with your

life number two you've lost interest in your own life and feel disconnected number three you don't know what your skills are or you feel you lack them hope is not lost you can get through this having purpose and meaning in our lives helps guide us through the ups and downs and creates structure in our day-to-day life that's why i've partnered with calm the leading app for mental health and wellness the app has a library with thousands of meditations songs to help you relax and focus and sleep stories to help you get a good night's rest

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