40 And Fulfilled: Wisdom I Wish I Knew In My 20s And 30s

2024. Dec. 10 - [Revised] 40 Lessons === [00:00:00] This month, I turned  40 years old, and let me tell you, it hits [00:00:05] differently.

It's the  kind of milestone that makes you look back on your whole [00:00:10] journey and think  about all the lessons you've learned along the way. I mean, if I could sit down  with my [00:00:15] 20 year old self, or maybe even my 30 year old self,  this is what I'd tell him. [00:00:20] Here are 40 lessons that have shaped my life, my  perspective, and my [00:00:25] purpose.

So whether you're in your 20s, 30s, or even older, I hope you  find something [00:00:30] here that speaks to you. Number one, find your foundation, [00:00:35] not  just your direction. When I was younger, I thought success was about having a [00:00:40] big grand  old vision, but it's not just about direction.

It's about the foundation [00:00:45] you build  under the vision. Success isn't climbing a mountain. It's building brick [00:00:50] by  brick.

I spent years chasing wrong things, things that [00:00:55] I thought maybe would make me  happy only to realize that. I was building someone else's [00:01:00] dream. The key is to make sure  your foundation aligns with your values.

[00:01:05] Not just about where you're going, it's about what  you're actually standing on. In [00:01:10] my 20s, I used to hustle so hard, I forget to ask myself,  is this really the [00:01:15] life I want? It took hitting a few walls to realize that speed means  [00:01:20] nothing without clarity.

Number two, health is wealth. I know this sounds cliche,  [00:01:25] but let me say this loud and clear. Your health isn't something you can  compromise on.

[00:01:30] In my 20s, I thought late nights and fast food and minimal  sleep would be [00:01:35] a part of the grind. But then I hit my 30s and my body was like, yo, you  can't keep this up. [00:01:40] I remember I once pulled a three day work bench where I barely  slept [00:01:45] thinking I was unstoppable.

I ended up in the ER with exhaustion. That's  when I realized [00:01:50] energy isn't given, it's earned. If you don't prioritize your  health now, [00:01:55] You're definitely going to pay for it later.

Number three,  your habits [00:02:00] shape your life. I used to think massive success required massive  changes. [00:02:05] But what I've learned is, is that small habits done daily create  the biggest [00:02:10] shift over time.

It's not about making giant leaps. It's about  showing up consistently. So [00:02:15] if you're trying to level up, don't focus on the end  goal alone.

Focus on [00:02:20] what you're doing today. If you want to get fit, start with  10 pushups. You want to grow [00:02:25] your business, make that one cold call.

It's like  daily actions that [00:02:30] build that momentum. Number four, no one is coming to [00:02:35]  save you. I know this one hits hard and people hate to hear it, but it's the truth.

No one's  coming to save you. [00:02:40] And honestly, I think it's a good thing. See, you're your own  rescue plan.

And once you [00:02:45] accept that, you can start creating the life you  actually want. When I was broke, hustling out of my [00:02:50] mom's house, I kept  waiting for some big break or a lucky opportunity. It wasn't [00:02:55] until I took full ownership  of my life, stopped blaming circumstances and started [00:03:00] taking actions that things  actually changed.

The pain of staying stuck was worse than the [00:03:05] pain of doing  the work. Number five. The clock is ticking.

If there's [00:03:10] one thing that I've  learned, it's that time waits for no one. I've seen [00:03:15] firsthand how  quickly life can change. Whether it's through unexpected challenges  or missed [00:03:20] opportunity, tomorrow simply isn't guaranteed.

So if you're  waiting for the right time, [00:03:25] stop. Right time is right now. There's a quote  that everybody knows and [00:03:30] you should know it too.

And it goes, the best  time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. And the [00:03:35] second best time is right now.  So stop procrastinating and build the life you actually [00:03:40] want.

Number six, I use this  even till today. Fail fast, learn even [00:03:45] faster. Failure isn't the enemy.

Failure or the  fear of failure is. [00:03:50] You see, I used to be terrified of messing up, but the truth is  failure is how you actually [00:03:55] grow. Every misstep teaches you something you don't know  before.

Over the years, [00:04:00] I've had around a dozen businesses that didn't work out. Each one  was a lesson in [00:04:05] disguise. At the time, I thought those failures felt massive. 

But looking back, [00:04:10] they were just training sessions. Every mistake I made  taught me something I needed to [00:04:15] know. If you take those lessons one by one and you apply  them to your next venture, [00:04:20] eventually your mistakes get smaller, your processes get  sharper, and you realize [00:04:25] every single step back was just a stepping stone to success. 

Number [00:04:30] seven, the people around you matter. You see your environment [00:04:35] is  either going to push you forward or hold you back. Choose your circle [00:04:40] wisely.

Surround  yourself with people who challenge you, inspire you, but most importantly, keep [00:04:45]  you accountable. In my 30s, I realized some relationships were draining more than they  were [00:04:50] adding to my life. Listen, I know letting go isn't easy, but it made space  for the people who [00:04:55] truly uplifted me.

Don't let comparison steal your joy. See, we live  in a [00:05:00] world of highlights. Social media seems like everyone's living their best life, but  [00:05:05] here's the thing.

You're only seeing their wins, not their struggles. You need to be  running your own [00:05:10] race. In my mid to late 20s, I used to scroll through Instagram  and Think why [00:05:15] am I not there yet?

It took me years to realize comparison is the  thief of [00:05:20] joy. You need to focus on your own path. Number nine, leadership  starts with you.

[00:05:25] You can't lead others until you can lead yourself. And  leadership isn't about [00:05:30] having all the answers. It's about living with intention and  inspiring others [00:05:35] by your own example.

You see, when I started my first team, I thought  being a leader meant [00:05:40] telling people what to do. I quickly learned, I mean, I quickly  learned that it's [00:05:45] about listening, guiding, and showing up to be the best version of  yourself every single day. [00:05:50] Number 10, it's never too late to start again.

No  matter where [00:05:55] you are in life, you always have the power to pivot. Your past doesn't define [00:06:00] your future.  Your actions today do.

Starting over. I know it can feel [00:06:05] overwhelming, but it's where  the most incredible transformations actually happen. [00:06:10] See, I've reinvented myself  more times than I can count.

Each time felt risky, but it [00:06:15] always brought me  closer to the life I truly wanted. The truth is, it's never too late to  [00:06:20] rewrite your story and pursue the future you actually deserve. Number 11. 

A [00:06:25] lot of people hate this one, but public speaking is a superpower. Your  [00:06:30] ability to communicate clearly and confidently can open doors you could  [00:06:35] never imagine. It's not just about talking.

It's about the connections,  [00:06:40] inspiring, and leading. I used to avoid public speaking like the plague,  but the first [00:06:45] time I stood in front of a crowd and I shared my story, I realized how  powerful it [00:06:50] was. And not just for them, but for me.

It's a skill worth developing no  matter [00:06:55] what field you're actually in. Number 12. Your environment  shapes [00:07:00] your success.

Your physical, your mental, your social  [00:07:05] environment all plays a role in your growth. If you're surrounded by clutter,  negativity, or [00:07:10] distractions, it's hard to actually focus on your goals.  On what matters when I moved to Dubai, I didn't [00:07:15] just change my address. 

I changed my entire environment. Being in a place where [00:07:20] ambition and innovation  thrive inspired me to push my own boundaries. [00:07:25] Number 13 progress is better than  perfection.

First of all, [00:07:30] perfection is just a myth and you chasing it will keep  you stuck. Progress no matter [00:07:35] how small allows you to move forward. I've learned  done that is better than [00:07:40] perfect.

You can always improve as you go, but You can't  fix what you never actually start. [00:07:45] Number 14. A lot of you need to learn  this word and you need to learn how to say no.

[00:07:50] Every time you say yes to  something that doesn't align with your goals, you're saying no to something [00:07:55]  that does. You got to protect your energy, your time by learning to [00:08:00] say  no completely guilt free. In my thirties, I used to say yes to every [00:08:05]  opportunity thinking I had to do it all.

But I end up burnt out, stretched too [00:08:10]  thin. Learning to say no allowed me to focus on what really matters. [00:08:15] And that was me  and my future.

Number 15, be [00:08:20] curious, but not judgmental. Approach life with curiosity  instead of [00:08:25] judgment. When you're open to learning from people experiences, you'll  grow in ways.

[00:08:30] You never expect it. I used to judge ideas that seem outside of  my comfort [00:08:35] zone, like investing internationally. But when I leaned into curiosity  instead, [00:08:40] I discovered opportunities that I have never considered before.

And this  is why I [00:08:45] say traveling is a must in your life. You have to travel because [00:08:50]  traveling allows you to have your own perspective. When you don't travel, you only have the  [00:08:55] perspective that other people give you.

Number 16, embrace change. Even  when it's [00:09:00] uncomfortable, listen, change is an animal it's going to happen  and resistant, it only [00:09:05] makes life harder. You need to lean into it, adapt and trust. 

That is [00:09:10] leading you somewhere better. You see, for me, moving to a new country  was terrifying [00:09:15] at first, but it turned out to be one of the best decisions  of my life. Every [00:09:20] major growth moment I've had started with embracing change.

[00:09:25]  Number 17, you are the architect of your own life. No one [00:09:30] is responsible for your  happiness, your success, or your fulfillment. You [00:09:35] have the tools to design  the life you want.

It's up to you to use them. When I realized [00:09:40]  I was the one holding the pen, my whole perspective shifted. You can't  [00:09:45] blame others for the blueprint of a house that you're building.

Number 18,  [00:09:50] rest is productive. In a world that glorifies hustle, it's [00:09:55] easy  to forget that rest is a part of the process. Trust me, I've done it myself.

Taking time to  [00:10:00] recharge isn't lazy. It's necessary. I used to work myself into the ground thinking  [00:10:05] it was the only way to succeed.

But the truth is I do my best when I'm rested and  [00:10:10] focused. Now I schedule downtime. Like I schedule all my meetings.

Like I literally  will [00:10:15] schedule a nap in my calendar. Number 19, your net worth is your [00:10:20] net  worth. I know you've heard this a bunch of time, but the people, you know, and how you show up for  [00:10:25] them can open doors money never could.

Relationships are one of the greatest [00:10:30]  investments humans can ever make. Some of my biggest opportunities came from [00:10:35]  relationships I built many, many years ago. You never know when you might need  [00:10:40] the key to your next chapter, and somebody else that you had a connection with  is actually [00:10:45] holding that.

Number 20, confidence comes from action. [00:10:50]  Confidence isn't something you're born with. Don't let nobody tell you that.

It's something you  build by showing [00:10:55] up and doing the work. Even when you're scared. I wasn't comfortable  when I closed my first real [00:11:00] estate deal or launched my first business, but I acted  anyways.

And every step [00:11:05] forward made me believe in myself just a little bit more.  Confidence is like a muscle. [00:11:10] You got to use it to grow it.

Gratitude [00:11:15] unlocks  fulfillment. It's easy to focus on what's missing, but real happiness [00:11:20] comes  from appreciating what you already have. Gratitude shifts Like your whole [00:11:25]  mindset, it opened doors for even more, more abundance.

There was a time in my life where  [00:11:30] I felt stuck, like nothing was going right. But I started ending each [00:11:35]  day by writing down three things that I was grateful for. It wasn't a [00:11:40] magic fix,  but it changed how I saw everything around me.

Number 22 is going to be hard, but [00:11:45]  you got to learn to listen. We often listen to people just to respond, not to actually [00:11:50]  understand. But when you truly listen to learn, connect deeper, you'll gain [00:11:55] insights  you'd otherwise just be completely missing out.

Early in my career, I was so focused on [00:12:00]  being heard that I didn't listen enough. But when I started really hearing  what people [00:12:05] were saying, my relationships and my results improved  dramatically. Number [00:12:10] 23.

I see people with this problem all  the time. Focus on solutions, not [00:12:15] problems. When you're faced  a challenge, right?

It's easy to get stuck on what's wrong, [00:12:20] but progress comes  when you shift your energy and find solutions. In one of my first real [00:12:25] estate  deals, everything that could go wrong did. Instead of panicking, I sat down, [00:12:30]  I listed out every single possible solution, I worked through them one by [00:12:35]  one, and that mindset saved the deal.

And it taught me a valuable lesson about resiliency.  [00:12:40] Number 24, be kind even when it's hard. Kindness [00:12:45] costs you nothing, but can  mean everything to someone else.

You never know what [00:12:50] someone's going through, so choose  kindness whenever you can. I've had days where a [00:12:55] small act of kindness from a stranger  or a friend completely turned my day around. It's a [00:13:00] reminder  that the small things matter.

Number 25. [00:13:05] Discipline beats  motivation. Motivation is fleeting.

It's there one day and it's [00:13:10] gone  the next. Discipline on the other hand, is what keeps you moving forward when  motivation [00:13:15] fades away. I mean, listen, there are mornings when I don't feel  like getting up [00:13:20] early or putting in that work.

But I do it anyways, because  discipline is what gets [00:13:25] results. You can't rely on motivation alone, I'm  telling you, you can't. Number [00:13:30] 26, I used to hate hearing this.

Money is a  tool, not a goal. [00:13:35] But it's true. Chasing money for the sake of it will leave you  completely empty.

[00:13:40] Instead, view money as a tool to create freedom, opportunities, and  [00:13:45] experiences that line with your values. You see, in my 20s, I thought  money would solve all my problems, but [00:13:50] in my 30s, I realized it's  not the money. It's what you do with it that counts.

[00:13:55] Now I focus on using  it to build the life I actually want. Number [00:14:00] 27, stop overthinking  and start doing. The more you think, the more you [00:14:05] delay progress.

Clarity  comes from action, not the other way around. When I [00:14:10] started my first  business, I spent weeks trying to perfect every detail before taking  [00:14:15] my first step. Eventually, I realized I just need to start.

Taking that  messy, imperfect [00:14:20] action taught me more than all the planet in the world could  ever do. Now, [00:14:25] this one may sound a contradiction to the one before, but number  28 is patience is a [00:14:30] superpower. You see, good things do take time.

In a world  that rewards [00:14:35] instant gratification, patience is a rare and valuable trait that  sets you [00:14:40] apart. Some of the biggest successes in my life come years after the initial  effort. Trust [00:14:45] the process even when it feels slow.

Consistency over time always wins.  [00:14:50] I call it delayed gratification. Number 29.

I believe this one changed everything  for [00:14:55] me in my life. Your mindset shapes your reality. What you [00:15:00] believe about  yourself and the world directly affects what you achieve.

[00:15:05] A positive growth  oriented mind creates opportunities where others see [00:15:10] obstacles. In my  early years, I had a scarcity mindset. I always worried [00:15:15] there wasn't enough  to go around.

By shifting to an abundance mindset, it changed [00:15:20] everything. Suddenly, I saw  opportunities instead of competition, and my life [00:15:25] expanded in ways I could never, ever  imagined. Number 30, learn something [00:15:30] new every day.

The moment you stop learning.  It's the moment you stop growing. [00:15:35] Make it a habit to learn something  new daily, no matter how small it is.

I [00:15:40] committed to reading  just 15 minutes a day. And over time, that habit [00:15:45] turned into a wealth of  knowledge. And honestly, it shaped my career in life.

The [00:15:50] compound effect of learning  is real. It helps you when you go out and you network because you can really [00:15:55] talk  about many different topics that may come up. Number 31, I had to learn this [00:16:00] myself,  forgive, but don't forget, holding onto grudges only [00:16:05] weighs you down, but that don't  mean you have to forget the lesson.

You need to forgive at your own pace, [00:16:10] but let the  experience guide you moving forward. There was a time when I carried resentment [00:16:15]  for someone who wronged me in business. When I finally let it go, it felt like  Weight have been [00:16:20] lifted off of me, but I still use what I learned from that  situation to protect [00:16:25] myself in the future.

Number 32, invest in relationships  and not just [00:16:30] resources. Some of the greatest returns in life come from the  relationships you build, [00:16:35] whether it's personal or professional, the effort you  put into a meaningful connection. [00:16:40] To me, it always pays off.

One of my mentors once  told me, people forget what you [00:16:45] say, but they'll remember how you made them feel.  That's true. That advice [00:16:50] has stuck with me and shaped how I approach every single  relationship in my life.

[00:16:55] Number 33, chase purpose, not popularity. Popularity  [00:17:00] fades, but purpose is lasting. If you focus on building something meaningful,  [00:17:05] the recognition will come as a byproduct, not the actual gold.

You see, in my  [00:17:10] 20s, I thought being known was the ultimate success, right? You're at the top of  the mountain. [00:17:15] Now I realize making an impact matters far more than being noticed. 

[00:17:20] Number 34, Laugh more, stress less. Life is [00:17:25] too short to take everything so  seriously. Laughter isn't just a stress reliever, it's a way to [00:17:30] connect with others and  find joy in every day.

Some of my [00:17:35] best memories are the times when things didn't  go as planned, but we found a way to laugh through it [00:17:40] anyways. It's just  a reminder that perspective is everything. Number [00:17:45] 35, trust your gut.

I  know sometimes we all get that feeling. But your [00:17:50] intuition is often smarter than  you realize. If something doesn't feel right, or if it feels [00:17:55] absolutely right, trust  that feeling.

One of my best real estate deals happened because I trusted my [00:18:00]  gut. On paper, it looked completely risky. But something told me it [00:18:05] was the  right move.

And it turned out to be one of my most profitable investments yet. Number  [00:18:10] 36. I practice this till today.

Focus on adding value. [00:18:15] The more value  you provide to others, the more [00:18:20] success you'll attract. It's not about what you can  get, it's about what you can actually give.

When [00:18:25] I started hosting meetups, my only  goal was to help others. I had no idea [00:18:30] that those meetups would lead to partnerships,  referrals, and stronger network than I [00:18:35] could ever imagine. Adding value is always the  right move.

Number [00:18:40] 37. The hardest days teach the most. Your toughest [00:18:45]  moments are often your biggest teachers.

Don't run from the struggle. It's where [00:18:50]  growth actually happens. When I hit rock bottom at 30, I thought [00:18:55] it was the end. 

Looking back, those challenges gave me the tools and resilience [00:19:00] I needed to succeed  later on. See, the hardest days really prepare [00:19:05] you for the best days. Number  38, take care of your mental [00:19:10] health.

I know as men, we seem to neglect  this, especially black men, but it's just [00:19:15] like your physical health.  Your mental health needs care and attention. Don't be afraid to [00:19:20] seek help, set  boundaries, and prioritize yourself and your peace.

[00:19:25] In my 30s, I learned the power  of saying no to protect my mental space. [00:19:30] It's not selfish, it's essential. Number 39,  be [00:19:35] open to unconventional paths.

The path to success doesn't always look the way you  expect. [00:19:40] Stay open to new opportunities, even if it takes you in a direction you  never [00:19:45] planned on going. You see, when I started investing internationally, it  wasn't a part of my plan at [00:19:50] all.

But being open to that opportunity led to some  of the most rewarding projects [00:19:55] that I'm actually doing right now. Okay, we're here  at number 40 and this one [00:20:00] is one of the most important lessons and one of  the most important decisions you'll ever make in your [00:20:05] life. And  that's choosing your life partner.

Out of all the decisions you make in  your life, [00:20:10] choosing your life partner is one of the most important.  And The person you decide to spend the rest of your [00:20:15] life with will shape  your happiness, your growth, and even your legacy. A [00:20:20] true partner is someone who  challenges you, supports you, and grows with you.

They're [00:20:25] not just there for  the ride, they're there building the future with you. My wife has been my greatest  [00:20:30] teammate, my biggest supporter, and without her, a lot of the new stuff that  I achieved, you would have [00:20:35] never seen. I would have never been possible.

We  celebrate our wins together, we work through the [00:20:40] challenges as a team, and we  consistently push each other to be better. When you choose the [00:20:45] right partner, their success becomes your success, and your  journey [00:20:50] becomes something you truly share. These 40 lessons represent  years of [00:20:55] mistakes, growth, and experiences that have shaped who I am  today.

[00:21:00] I'm sharing them with the hope. that they'll inspire you to live with  purpose, [00:21:05] courage, and intention. Now, I want to hear from you.

Which one of  these lessons [00:21:10] resonates with you the most? Drp a comment below and let's start  a conversation. If you're on your [00:21:15] own journey of growth and discovery, make sure  you hit that subscribe button because there's much more [00:21:20] to come.

Thanks for  watching and I'll see you in the next video.