Wife Traded Our Marriage for a Beta Simp So I Divorced Her, & Karma Demolished Her. Reddit Cheating

[Music] I'm a disabled veteran who unfortunately lost my job due to the ongoing pandemic as a result I'm at home while my wife continues to work our son was born shortly before Co appeared and he's now a year old during this time I've taken on all household responsibilities from cooking and cleaning to doing the laundry to ensure everything runs smoothly I've also been looking at after our 9-year-old and one-year-old kids helping with their schoolwork and preparing their meals my ex-wife and I had a tough upbringing and we both wanted to give our children the kind

of upbringing we missed out on however she had our last child to try to save our relationship which was failing I supported her decision to work more for extra income but when the pandemic started our financial situation worsened and we had to move in with my mother to save money and reduce her workload I didn't know she'd been seeing someone else since March I began to suspect in April and by my birthday in May I was sure her infidelity and lack of affection left me feeling completely alone now my kids and I live with my

mom while she moved in with her boyfriend it's been almost a month but the pain of Separation still lingers my daughter has distanced herself from her mother and my son shows no interest in her not even asking for basic things like milk they seem to have moved on from the initial pain but I still feel terribly lonely it's like walking beside someone sharing a story and then turning around to find that they've disappeared 14 years feel like they've gone to waste to cope with this I focused on training and I'm proud to say that I

finally dropped below 200 lb after many years now my main motivation is to keep moving forward for the sake of my children and deal with my emotions I've also started writing poetry but since she kept lying about her ongoing connection with the other person I realized it's pointless to communicate with her despite the lingering pain I hold hope for the future finding a lawyer is tough because my mom has trouble finding someone she can trust I want to be careful and have full trust in the lawyer professional abilities though my brother and mother have been

a tremendous source of support through all my difficulties I'm seeking advice here she left me for a colleague which initially led me to plan a separation agreement and consult a lawyer but the high cost prevented that I've taken a positive step by attending consultations for myself and my daughter which is a good development to prepare for school I've decided that she'll study reading and Math workbooks to get back on track with her education meanwhile I'm in thought and seeking advice my soon Tobe ex-wife is currently in a psychiatric hospital and while I hope for her

recovery I'm not sure it's wise for her to become more involved in our children's Liv lives she chose her partner over our 9-year-old and one-year-old kids and I'm concerned she might do the same with them at 10 and two while I initially wanted to support her I'm now focused on my own recovery and not maintaining contact with her as her progress could hinder mine I genuinely want her to get better but I don't want to be present in this situation does that make me a bad person I refrain from asking about her hospitalization reasons but

based on my past experience as a firefighter I think it may be related to doing bad things I plan to start the trial as soon as possible and stay by her side sincerely hoping for her recovery but I can't hide my anger at her for putting me in such a difficult situation my children don't know the current situation which deeply concerns me to keep ourselves occupied I organized a drawing evening trying to understand why life has to be so tough I see that our little son has suffered greatly from this ordeal he's developed separation anxiety

which increases every time his mother visits him unfortunately she doesn't seem to notice these problems appearing suddenly after several weeks of absence this situation is unbearable and dealing with it alone is incredibly difficult I miss the person she used to be and it's a tough Journey our daughter still unconditionally follows her mother's example she admires her and wants to like her I understand that she feels some resentment due to the current circumstances but I can't fully grasp her emotions over the past 2 months my ex has visited them four or five times even allowing them

to spend the night at her new place however her messages to our daughter are one-sided with all the conversations initiated by her upon reflection I realized that I had overlooked these signs for a long time it seemed like our daughter constantly showed disinterest barely noticing my presence and responding with only one word I chose to ignore this but now I see that all the signs were there her mobile phone was always face down and she often found excuses to go back to work showing a lack of interest in communicating with me during that time I

played the role of a babysitter while she enjoyed parties and a full-fledged relationship with her boyfriend I finally realized this on my birthday when she did Absol absolutely nothing even though she had always shown care and effort this led me to start an investigation and I discovered she had been dating her colleague since March in February we went on a family trip and at that time I thought everything was fine but I've learned to trust my instincts and not be blinded by her actions again despite this I genuinely hope she finds well-being and happiness for

the sake of our children I remain committed to prioritizing our children in an effort to maintain a healthy co-parenting Dynamic I've decided to avoid contact with her and focus solely on our children's issues unfortunately she keeps trying to reach out to me as if nothing has changed despite my initial attempts to respond politely I've become increasingly upset and responded with anger and hostility as I'm not ready to talk to her yet before cutting off contact I frequently sent her photos of our children hoping she'd understand she was leaving it appears her relationship with her partner

didn't work out as expected and she's now in the hospital she wants to play a more active role in our children's lives but it's challenging since she lives an hour away and has a busy schedule I used to support her after work but now I refuse to be her backup I know my worth and I deserve more than being someone's second or third choice once she emotionally recovers we can work on a healthy co-parenting Dynamic I won't save her now as I couldn't do it before after speaking with her Hospital doctor I learned she'll be

discharged soon while I feel guilty I believe she should find her own way since she chose to leave me in the children the thought that she might do bad things herself causes me great anxiety making it hard to breathe additionally my ex's partner in love affairs tried to contact me on Facebook but I blocked him and took a screenshot as evidence breaking my rule of no contact just to inform my ex she showed no interest or concern con ER and didn't feel it was her responsibility to deal with him technically it isn't I hoped she

would resolve this issue on my behalf but instead she explained at length how she was trying to improve the situation for the sake of our children this incident taught me a valuable lesson never break the no contact rule even if something hurts you I've done well with this maintaining a month of no contact I'm still upset that a certain person is trying to follow me but honestly I don't care care about him at all my anger is primarily related to the consequences of my relationship with my ex and such situations only hinder my progress I'm

consumed by Deep anger and resentment towards the woman I once thought I'd love forever thoughts of her often visit my mind and every time they appear I utter curses after them I'm not that kind of person never harboring ill will towards others but my ex-wife's presence makes me Furious the hardest part is maintaining a facade of consent in front of my children though I refrain from mentioning her there are times when my daughter remembers her name and in those moments it takes all my strength not to speak ill of my ex and remain indifferent I

don't want the person she left me for to hinder my progress while he took my wife I firmly decided not to let him obstruct my path I'm determined to protect my emotional well-being from their interference despite them not being very pleasant people I want them to stay away from me and my children on weekends my daughter and I enjoy movie nights and during the week my son and I go for daily walks while his sister is at school being a dad brings me great joy but it leaves me with very little time for myself my

days are filled with training and the only adult I truly trust is my Veterans Affairs consultant right now my main focus is on treating post-traumatic stress disorder my constant thoughts about my ex make it hard for me to concentrate on my respon responsibilities especially in raising our children it's painful to realize how taken advantage of I feel in the past I devoted so much to support her career climb I was by her side during her long work hours and even gave her foot massages when she returned all I'm left with now is a sense of

worthlessness as if my efforts meant nothing I wonder if others are going through a similar situation and if so how they're managing engaging in physical activities like training and kickboxing has provided some relief though it seems like only a small part of what I need to heal in an attempt to move forward I registered on the match website even though I recognize that I'm not emotionally ready for a new relationship recently I made the decision to step out of my comfort zone and be more honest with myself recovering from infidelity is undoubtedly a tough Journey

a few months ago I came across a book called stop being Mr Nice Guy which delves into the White Knight Theory and ways to overcome it reflecting on my past actions I can acknowledge that I fell into some of these traps but I don't believe that my actions were solely driven by the desire to earn night points after my service in the Army I continued to maintain the uniform and ensure everything was in order it had become second nature to me perhaps in the hope of easing my partner's work fatigue even just a little ultimately

I've always been someone who likes to solve problems and find Solutions with or without her I feel that being considerate and helping others ultimately didn't benefit me I've always been the kind of person who leaves a situation cleaner than I found it while serving in the fire department I lived with other guys and learned how to clean up after myself however I began to realize that maybe I was too kind but is it a bad thing to appreciate kindness unfortunately it seems challenging to come across truly kind individuals but it appears to be common to

encounter pain it's disheartening to see my ex pursuing a new lifestyle especially when after just 6 months she's already seeking full custody of our children and spousal support I'm eagerly anticipating the upcoming trial currently my primary thoughts revolve around post-traumatic stress disorder the well-being of our children and my hidden anger towards my future ex-spouse while I mainly focus on the first two to I wish for time to pass more quickly I understand the importance of being present in the moment but it's tough for me to shake off this feeling of emptiness within recently my wife

told me that our daughter had expressed an interest in self-mutilation due to her refusal to communicate with her throughout November they didn't communicate a few days later a deputy sheriff called me requesting that I Surrender a firearm registered to my wife as she's not allowed to have it this situation makes me question whether my attempts at reconciliation are naive even though I removed the block after she revealed her thoughts about doing bad things believing that such statements should be taken seriously we resumed correspondence however I suspect she's still spending time with her boyfriend and using

this situation as a way to spend time with our kids given these circumstances I understand the need to approach her words with caution and a great deal of skepticism despite this I'm uncertain about the sincerity of her intentions if she were to end her current relationship regardless of whether she's with him or not I would consider reconciliation however I'd require her to continue with the divorce process according to plan and provide written confirmation of my full custody of our children I've already filed my response to her divorce application and we're currently awaiting a court date

I also suspect that she's aware of her unfavorable position in court which may worsen her situation she mentioned that her family no longer communicates with her a fact I can confirm since I'm still in touch with many of them furthermore she expressed a desire to find a job in our city which I hope she'll consider tonight we took our kids to the movies the therapist who's helping our daughter expressed concerns about her engaging in so I took Swift action even our one-year-old child is Overjoyed that his mother has returned to him personally I feel emotionally

distant on the flip side I'm using the dating app Bumble and while I've had some decent connections nothing serious has developed there are a few people I'd like to form deeper connections with but the reality is that most people aren't eager to get involved with someone responsible for raising two children what's more I worry about the possibility that after months of building a meaningful connection with someone my daughter might reject them to be honest if my daughter had rejected me I would have ended this relationship after our breakup my life started improving I've been attending

therapy monitoring my diet and even practicing Kung Fu since she left I've experienced significant personal growth and I'm uncertain whether it would be unwise to consider reuniting as a family it's important to note that she's currently attending therapy and taking medication which is a significant factor to consider she's also expressed interest in both of us attending coupl therapy the pace at which events are unfolding feels overwhelming if it turns out that she's pregnant with someone else's child and is trying to manipulate me into raising that child I won't participate in such a situation I have

many thoughts and doubts swirling in my head and I'd greatly appreciate any guidance I'm not certain about what I want at the moment while I do feel a desire to reconcile with her I'm also aware of her capabilities my daughter's well-being significantly influenced es my decision-making process so I need to proceed with caution I can't make decisions based solely on emotions but I must admit that my children's happiness is of utmost importance to me if I had the opportunity I believe it would be valuable to invest another 10 years in a relationship with my ex

and put in a genuine effort it's worth mentioning that although my ex is currently employed and I am not my status as a disabled veteran with a low rating during our marriage has prompted me to seek help from veteran services they recommended an increase in my rating which could potentially lead to me earning more than my ex in any case such a rating increase would be highly beneficial for me I tend to agree that becoming the primary caregiver for our children is the more likely outcome however given her recent attempts at doing bad things and

the fact that I had to hand over her firearm I believe this strengthens my case for gaining more custody it's not just about the children's well-being it's also about the foundation I've worked hard to build I'm on a positive life path with or without her and I'm determined not to look back with regrets feeling that I didn't do everything possible to keep my family together she claims to attend therapy three times a week and take medication in our 16 years of marriage she never engaged in self-mutilation but after our separation she made three attempts it's

challenging for for me to discern what to believe she's aware of my past As A Firefighter and the traumatic situations I often encountered it's possible that she's using this knowledge as a form of manipulation however based on my personal experience even if people don't resort to ending their lives in this way they often inflict severe physical bad influence on themselves memories of the blood I witness still haunt me and the taste of copper remains Vivid In My Memory it was incomprehensible to see a physically strong and muscular man brought to tears standing in his undergarments

holding on to his wife I was left in utter perplexity I recently had a conversation with my daughter and she expressed a desire for our family to become whole again with all four of us together I told her that I wouldn't be able to forgive her mother if she continued the relationship and advised her not to set her hopes too high I've realized that if I continue with the current approach completely cutting off all contact it will also affect the children it seems to me that my negativity towards their mother is evident and has an

impact on them she may not understand the immense effort required for reconciliation but that's my concern I can't allow my ex to dictate the pace of my progress just as I can't allow my kids to determine the outcome restoring our family at this point necessitates me setting an example and taking the initiative it's crucial to demonstrate to my children that I won't succumb to emotional manipulation reuniting with this woman won't fix our family it will only worsen the situation this thought has been haunting me how will my daughter perceive the relationship if she Witnesses it

the toxicity might persist and if her mother leaves again the consequences will be even more devastating additionally my daughter might inadvertently attract the wrong people into her life because she has already encountered such behavior on the other hand this situation can serve as an opportunity to teach them that love is not perfect it's not a typical romantic comedy scenario but if my ex is genuinely seeking guidance from therapists I believe we have a chance even if the likelihood of success is just 1% I'm willing to attempt to restore our family of course I understand perfectly

well that all of this could backfire I realize that if I don't make changes and if she doesn't improve our relationship is undoubtedly destined to fail however if she continues with therapy takes her medications and finds self-awareness we have a chance to overcome everything in the future when our children have grown up and if we decide to go our separate ways that's something I can accept if we assume that we're raising them properly following the values we've set then I'll evaluate her actions to assess her character she claims she's no longer longer involved with the

AP aair partner she states that she's been undergoing therapy and taking medication since July explaining that her recent lifestyle hasn't been as pleasant as I assumed and that she's been feeling sad for several months I tend to attribute these events to her mental health Disorder so I believe it's necessary to consult with her therapist before considering the possibility of a real reconciliation if she's diagnosed with bipolar disorder or if it's confirmed that it was a major depressive episode and she expresses remorse we might have an opportunity but if she desires an open relationship it's better

for both of us to move on I'm truly grateful for all of you for sharing your thoughts and perspectives as it seems you all understand the pain caused by trauma I've come to realize that she was using manipulation to push me towards reconciliation she informed me that after our breakup she made three attempts at doing bad things things and currently she attends therapy three times a week in our individual talks and group discussions she mentioned that she's taking medication even though I haven't personally spoken to her therapist I suspect she might be struggling with high

levels of depression and codependency she expressed her intention to quit her current job and shared her desire to find a place nearby to spend more time with the children she also mentioned how she feels a lack of family in her life after a recent trip to the movies she visited us several times which brought great joy to our daughter this made me decide to break the period of no contact the school psychotherapist is worried that my daughter might engage in doing bad things which is a result of issues stemming from her mother's rejection on a

positive note my son seems to be doing well but I can't help but miss her and wish to reunite our family I remember how much she loved me especially since we've been together since we were 18 recently she asked me out on a date and although I agreed because she's making an effort deep down I understand that I'm not emotionally ready for this it's important to emphasize that I'm committed to not having in relationship with her if it were to come to that I would insist on a paternity test I won't be deceived or take

responsibility for someone else's child I've made it clear to her that I'd only consider reconciliation if we divorced and I gained full custody of the children a maining 100% custody is my main goal now with that if she continues her relationship with her partner and complications arise I'll have full control and she'll be able to move on furthermore I'm still active on dating apps I won't deactivate them until I'm certain she's not seeing anyone else additionally just yesterday I felt youthful and Alive there wasn't a clear reason for my happiness but it gave my self-esteem

a boost I usually find s attracted to people who are a bit too tough for me I'm sure many of you can relate to my experiences knowing it's often an uphill battle but I feel compelled to keep trying for the sake of my children yet I'm incredibly puzzled when she says she was unhappy after our separation it's hard to reconcile that with her actions especially when she cheated on me and left our children for someone else if I were younger I might have reacted with more anger but now I'm contemplating the possibility of reconciling with

my father despite our different problemsolving approaches I hope this decision will lead to a positive outcome but I'm uncertain about the future to the best of my knowledge there's no indication that she's pregnant and there's no reason to suspect it although she appeared hesitant she has agreed to 100% custody if we reconcile she insists she's no longer involved with the affair partner or anyone else but at this stage it's challenging for me to trust her fully we exchange apologies through text messages and we haven't managed to have a one-on-one conversation without the children present she's

expressed regret for seeking confirmation from someone else but hasn't directly apologized for the Betrayal itself until she explicitly admits remorse for the Betrayal I will assume she doesn't regret it on a positive note she has agreed to attend coup's therapy which is a significant step given her previous resistance to therapy this was one of the reasons I hesitated to seek help for my post-traumatic stress disorder I understand that significant challenges lie ahead as my heart is still mending but I'm determined to rebuild my family no matter the difficulties I sincerely make this commitment while she

may have broken her vow I continue to hold firm to the vows I've made throughout my life reflecting on what I miss and cherish I genuinely miss her unwavering dedication to caring for our children her caring and affectionate nature made her an exceptional mother for our daughter I also appreciate her witty and sarcastic humor the way she pronounces my name holds a special place in my heart as does her unique fragrance her look when I'm about to make a foolish decision fills me with affection her belief that I'm an excellent cook brings me joy additionally

her ability to be kind and harmonious with others is truly admirable ultimately I'm captivated by her determination to tackle unfamiliar Concepts even if she doesn't fully understand them I realize how much I value her uniqueness which aligns with my own I deeply miss her presence and wholeheartedly apologize for past mistakes if we end up in court together the best outcome I can hope for is shared custody with her having overnight visits every weekend however my top priority is obtaining full custody of our children I fully accept the responsib ility for any potential setbacks but 100%

custody would provide me with peace of mind knowing I've done everything in my power even with my attempts at reconciliation I understand the importance of securing the best future for our children I consistently felt anxiety realizing that I was only being used as a means for her to see the children despite this she visited the children only a few times and never took care of them for extended periods I naively hoped that she could become the same mother she was to our children but she didn't fulfill the role of a mother instead she appeared as

someone who feels guilty from time to time and wishes to visit the life I've built currently we are not officially divorced since she filed for divorce last June and I filed my response since then I haven't received any updates from the court I decided to wait before taking any further action because in my state if a parent leaves and doesn't contact their children for a year they can be accused of child abandonment in my view that's exactly what happened and I hope the lawyer and the judge will agree granting me sole custody my dilemma is

that she's trying to get better she shows a desire to visit the children especially our son but seems to have refused to rebuild her relationship with her daughter while I understand that change takes time it's challenging for me to trust her actions and decisions none of the above questions relate to our romantic Rel relationship should I wait for a court message or take the initiative to consult with a lawyer and file a claim for termination of parental rights seeking sole custody if I decide to seek legal assistance I'll be committed to taking significant steps I

must admit I acted naively trusting this woman for so long I genuinely believe that people have inherent goodness even if someone stumbles and loses their way it doesn't mean they are entirely lost should I distance myself from my spouse to Shield our children from additional trauma thankfully my life with the children is going well I receive online counseling at a local veterans Rehabilitation Center which greatly helps me cope with post-traumatic stress disorder recognizing the difficulties my daughter faces I arranged for her to meet with a counselor provided by her unfortunately my little boy at the

age of two still misses his mother and occasionally asks about her to comfort him I explain that she's at work when she's not around it takes him some time to get comfortable with her presence I'm concerned that her continuous involvement in his life at this crucial stage might exacerbate his future problems and difficulties every morning we have a lovely ritual of reading and singing children's songs throughout the day we engage in fun activities until his sister returns home it's a joy to witness his progress every day he learns a new word and overall he radiates

genuine happiness in anticipation of potential consequences of Abandonment at his age I'm teaching him soothing techniques like breathing exercises and engaging hand games as for me I've dared to explore dating apps and met several potential Partners but I understand that I'm not yet ready for a serious relationship for now I take solace in focusing on my personal growth dedicating time to exercise and therapy I handle the upbringing and care of my children solo even though full custody comes with some downsides I don't expect to receive alimony from my ex-spouse which although I wouldn't mind would

certainly help financially another issue is my son possibly holding a grudge against me for not letting his mother in and not providing her with assistance but I believe it's in the children's best interest for this dishonest and mentally unwell woman to be absent from our lives now 7 months have passed the divorce process was lengthy and pain painful during which my ex-wife caused herself physical bad influence and had a long recovery but ultimately I've cut this woman out of my life and the lives of my children I received a court order preventing her from approaching

me and the children she is currently in a mental health facility and I'm doing everything I can to ensure my children lead happy lives and move on from the negative impact of their [Applause] mother [Music] [Applause] [Music]