You Will Never Be Respected Unless You Remove These 6 habits from Your Life |Stoic Philosophy

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James The Stoic
#stoicwisdom #stoicism #innergrowth Respect isn’t given, it’s earned through discipline, consistenc...
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respect is not something you demand it's something you earn by living with Integrity discipline and self-respect if any of these habits are part of your life it's time to remove them only then will you earn the respect you truly deserve let me be brutally honest with you most people will never respect you no matter how hard you try you can work your tail off bend over backward for others and still get looked down upon why because respect isn't n just about what you do it's about who you are and the habits you carry with you
every single day and I'll tell you from personal experience I had to learn this the hard way I used to think being nice agreeable and always available would earn me respect but in reality I was just making myself smaller in the eyes of others the truth is you'll never be respected unless you cut out the behaviors that undermine your worth I remember being being stuck in this Loop wondering why people didn't take me seriously why I was always the one left behind it wasn't until I started removing these toxic Habits Like constantly making excuses or
seeking validation that things started to change respect didn't come overnight but the moment I stopped caring about pleasing others and started respecting myself the world around me shifted and here's the Deep message message respect doesn't come from others it starts within if you don't demand more from yourself no one else will it's time to face the truth and remove these habits from your life once and for all only then will you command the respect you deserve habit number one always making excuses let me be real with you making excuses is the fastest way to guarantee
you'll never be respected I know we all do it you might think your excuse is perfectly legitimate that it's not your fault something went wrong maybe it was the traffic or your coworker didn't give you the information on time or hey life just happens right but here's the hard truth nobody cares about your excuses people respect results not reasons I remember a time in my life when I was full of excuses es I'd always show up late blaming it on traffic or some random event that just happened I thought as long as I had a
reason it was fine but eventually I noticed something it didn't matter how valid the excuse was people started to see me as unreliable friends didn't trust me to show up on time my boss stopped giving me important projects and even my family subtly stopped relying on me I was losing respect left and right and I couldn't figure out why the truth is excuses don't make you look responsible they make you look weak they show that you're not in control of your life and let me tell you nothing kills respect faster than showing people you're not
in control whether you're late because you overslept or because of traffic the end result is the same you weren't where you were supposed to be and that's on you when I finally realized this it hit me like a ton of bricks I was the problem not the world around me I was letting myself off the hook and expecting people to just accept my excuses but let me tell you something that's both freeing and harsh the world doesn't owe you anything people respect accountability not deflection I remember once after showing up late again and giving my
usual traffic excuse someone said well why didn't you leave earlier that stung but you know what they were right and that's when it clicked for me every time I made an excuse I was essentially saying I'm not responsible for my own life how could I expect anyone to respect that here's where the Deep message comes in excuses aren't just words they're a mindset they keep you locked in a victim mentality always blaming outside factors for your Fai failures but the moment you take responsibility everything changes when I stopped making excuses and started owning my mistakes
something incredible happened people started to trust me again it was like they could see the shift in my mindset and they respected me for it no more excuses if I messed up I owned it if I was late I apologized without any traffic stories and here's the thing people are a lot more forgiving when you don't try to weasle your way out with excuses they can respect someone who says yeah that was my bad I'll do better next time far more than someone who keeps pointing the finger at circumstances it's not about perfection it's about
responsibility the Deep takeaway here is this you have to stop lying to yourself before you can expect others to respect you every time you make an excuse you're reinforcing the idea that you're not in control of your life and if you don't believe you have control why should anyone else believe in you respect is built on reliability accountability and self-respect if you keep hiding behind excuses people will see right through it and you'll never earn the respect you want so next time you feel an excuse creeping up catch yourself take a breath own the situation
and move forward it's a hard habit to break but once you stop making excuses you'll be surprised how much more respect you'll command from the people around you and from yourself two being lazy if you're lazy let me tell you this nobody will ever respect you and honestly they shouldn't I know that sounds harsh but it's the truth you can have all the potential in the world all the talent all the dreams but if you sit around doing nothing none of it matters people don't respect potential they respect action and laziness it's the ultimate sign
of wasted potential I used to think I could Coast by on my talent I was the kind of person who could get away with doing the bare minimum because I was smart enough to get decent results Without Really Trying but you know what no one respected me for that sure people might have said oh he's capable but deep down they didn't take me seriously why because laziness isn't a lack of ability it's a lack of effort and effort is what earns respect I remember one specific moment when this Hit me hard I was working on
a group project and everyone had put in the work except me I figured I could just show up contribute a little here and there and let the other others handle the bulk of it but when we presented everyone's efforts were obvious except mine and the looks I got afterward the subtle but unmistakable disappointment made it clear I had lost their respect I didn't just let them down I let myself down it wasn't even about the project it was about the fact that I wasn't pulling my weight people could see it and they lost respect for
me plain and simple the thing about laziness is that it's incredibly visible you might think people don't notice when you're slacking off but they do they notice when you're not pulling your weight when you're cutting corners or when you're avoiding hard work and the worst part it's contagious laziness drags other people down with you they stop expecting much from you and that's the death of respect right there when people don't expect you to contribute to work hard or to push yourself they stop seeing you as someone valuable here's the Deep message laziness is a form
of self-sabotage it's not just about being too tired or not motivated it's a mindset where you convince yourself that you can get by without effort but the truth is every time you choose laziness you're choosing to stay small you're telling yourself that Comfort is more important than growth and Trust trust me people respect growth not Comfort I had to learn this lesson the hard way I used to think that taking the easy Road meant I was being smart that I could save energy and still get by but here's what I didn't realize success isn't just
about Talent OR intelligence it's about persistence hard work and dedication the people who are respected are the ones who push through the discomfort who who take on the hard tasks and who show up even when they don't feel like it laziness is the opposite of all that it shows you're not willing to push yourself and if you're not willing to do that why should anyone respect you you can't hide laziness it shows up in the way you carry yourself in how you talk about your work and in the way you approach challenges people can tell
when you're coasting they can tell when you're not giving it your all and it reflects in how they treat you if you're lazy don't expect people to trust you with responsibilities don't expect them to look to you for leadership habit number three neglecting your personal appearance here's something people won't often tell you how you present yourself says more about you than you think and if you're neglecting your personal appearance don't expect anyone to respect you I know what you're probably thinking but isn't it superficial to judge someone based on how they look sure it might
sound shallow on the surface but the truth is your appearance is a reflection of how much you respect yourself and if you can't respect yourself why would anyone else I used to be one of those people who thought what does it matter people should like me for who I am not what I look like so I'd roll out of bed throw on whatever was clean and show up I thought I was being real or authentic but in reality I was just being lazy and you know what it showed people weren't taking me seriously I didn't
command attention in meetings and I certainly didn't give off an aura of someone who had it together one day I had a wakeup call I remember walking into an important event wearing wrinkled clothes hair a mess and just generally looking like I didn't care and that's the vibe I gave off someone who didn't care the moment I stepped into the room I could feel the difference in how people interacted with me I wasn't taken seriously and I certainly wasn't treated with respect meanwhile those around me who had put effort into their appearance instantly commanded attention
I realized then that neglecting how I looked wasn't just affect fting me it was affecting how others saw me I was losing respect before I even opened my mouth and here's where the Deep message comes in your personal appearance is a form of nonverbal communication it tells the world I respect myself and I take this seriously when you take care of yourself when you present yourself in a way that shows effort people take notice it's not about wearing expensive clothes or looking like a model it's about showing that you have enough self-respect to put effort
into how you look that effort signals to others that you take yourself and them seriously think about it when someone shows up disheveled unkempt and looking like they just rolled out of bed what's the first thought that comes to mind probably something along the lines of this person doesn't care and if you don't care enough to take care of yourself people subconsciously assume you won't care about your work your relationships or your responsibilities on the flip side when someone walks into a room well- groomed confident and put together it immediately sets a tone of respect
people are more inclined to listen to you trust you and yes respect you I know this might sound harsh but personal appearance isn't just about van ity it's about self-respect it's about showing the world that you value yourself enough to put in the effort and when you respect yourself others will follow suit that's a hard truth I had to learn after that embarrassing event I made a conscious decision to change how I presented myself I started dressing with intention paying attention to details like grooming and cleanliness and I can tell you the change in how
people treated me was almost instant suddenly I was being noticed taken more seriously and most importantly I was respecting myself more the thing is people will always judge you based on First Impressions whether we like it or not and those first impressions are heavily influenced by your appearance if you want respect you have to look like someone who deserves it neglecting your appearance sends the message that you don't care and if you don't care neither will anyone else so here's the bottom line taking care of your personal appearance is a form of self-discipline it's about
showing up in the world as the best version of yourself if you're constantly neglecting your appearance you're telling people and yourself that you don't value who you are and guess what they'll believe you stop thinking that appearance doesn't matter it does and it always will respect starts with how you carry yourself inside and out so take that extra time in the morning put in the effort and watch how people start to treat you differently respect yourself first and the world will [Music] follow four ignoring boundaries if there's one thing that will make people lose respect
for you faster than you can blink it's IGN ignoring their boundaries boundaries are not optional they are essential when you dismiss or Overlook them you're telling people that their feelings space and comfort don't matter to you and trust me that's a Surefire way to ensure they'll never respect you I've learned this lesson the hard way I used to think that being overly involved in people's lives was a sign of caring I thought that offering unsolicited advice pushing my opinion or constantly checking in was just me being a good friend or a concerned colleague but here's
the reality it was suffocating and because I didn't understand or respect other people's boundaries they didn't respect me in return it was a tough pill to swallow but once I realized that respecting boundaries is actually a form of respect itself everything changed there was a time when I had a close friend who started pulling away from me and I couldn't figure out why I'd call her every day text her about every little thing and constantly invite myself into her problems I thought I was helping but in reality I was crossing boundaries without even realizing it
one day she confronted me and said I just need some space it feels like you don't understand that it hit me like a brick I had completely ignored her need for boundaries and in doing so I'd lost her trust and respect here's the thing boundaries aren't barriers they're healthy limits they're a way for people to protect their mental emotional and physical space when you ignore someone's boundaries what you're really saying is I don't care about your comfort I care more about my needs and let's be honest who's going to respect someone who operates like that
let's go deeper for a moment ignoring boundaries is not just about being pushy it's a fundamental misunderstanding of respect respect isn't just about being polite or kind it's about recognizing and honoring someone's autonomy it's about realizing that people are allowed to have space to say no and to set limits without you taking it personally when you respect someone's boundaries you're acknowledging that they are their own person with their own needs and limits and when you can do that respect naturally follows I had to learn to step back and let people come to me when they
were ready to give them the space they needed without feeling the need to insert myself into every situation and here's the funny thing when I started respecting other people's boundaries they started respecting me more relationships became stronger more more genuine and I was no longer seen as the person who couldn't take a hint but ignoring boundaries isn't just about social interactions it shows up in the workplace too maybe you have a coworker who prefers working independently but you keep pushing them for constant updates or input or perhaps you have a boss who values direct communication
but you constantly flood them with unnecessary information overstepping the boundary of their time in these situations you're not just annoying people you're losing their respect because you're not respecting their time space or preferences here's the Deep truth boundaries aren't just about keeping people out they're about keeping relationships healthy and healthy relationships are built on mutual respect if you can't respect someone's boundaries you can't expect them to respect you either it's a two-way street by honoring the limits people set you're showing them that you value their comfort and autonomy and that's what builds lasting respect think
about it like this every time you ignore a boundary you're chipping away at the trust someone has in you and without trust there can be no respect people will start to avoid you distance themselves and silently push you out of their lives because they don't feel safe around you boundaries are people's way of protecting themselves and when you trample over them you're showing a lack of care for their well-being so if you want respect you need to start paying attention to boundaries learn to recognize when someone is setting one whether it's subtle or direct don't
take it personally instead see it as an opportunity to show them that you respect them as an individual when you start doing this you'll find that people will start respecting you more too they'll trust you they'll feel safe around you and they'll value you more because you're someone who understands the importance of personal space and emotional well-being five taking credit for others work taking credit for someone else's work is one of the quickest ways to lose respect not just from the person whose effort you stole but from everyone who witnesses it it's a dis honest
self-serving habit that will make people distrust you and once that trust is broken it's incredibly difficult to rebuild this habit is not just unethical it's a Surefire way to sabotage your reputation I've seen this play out firsthand and I'll be honest it's something I'm not proud of early in my career I was eager to make a name for myself to stand out in a team project I contribute a fair amount but one of my colleagues really went above and beyond when it came time to present the results I subtly framed my words to make it
seem like I had done more of the heavy lifting than I actually had I didn't flat out lie but I made sure the spotlight was on me not the person who deserved it more at first it felt great the praise was rolling in people were impressed and I was getting the recognition I craved but here's the thing people always find out the truth it wasn't long before my colleague realized what had happened and soon enough others did too the admiration I had based in quickly turned to skepticism and disappointment it was a tough lesson respect
isn't earned through shortcuts it's earned through Integrity collaboration and honesty and that's where the deeper message comes in stealing credit isn't just about hurting others it's about without hurting yourself when you take credit for someone else's work you're essentially saying I don't trust my own abilities enough to stand on my own two feet it's a reflection of insecurity and fear not strength if you're constantly looking to take Shortcuts To Success you'll never truly earn the respect of those around you respect is rooted in authenticity something that credit stealing completely undermines think about the long-term damage
this habit can do once people see you as someone who doesn't give credit where it's due you become known as someone who's only out for themselves colleagues will hesitate to collaborate with you friends won't trust you and people in general will keep you at arms length because they know you're not playing Fair I've seen it happen to others as well I've witnessed talented people lose out on promotions friendships and opportunities all because they developed a reputation for taking credit credit for others work and trust me once that label sticks it's hard to shake off here's
the reality when you take credit for someone else's efforts you're not just stealing their work you're stealing their sense of accomplishment you're robbing them of the satisfaction that comes from being recognized for their contribution imagine how demoralizing that is we all want to feel valued for our hard work and when someone takes that away from us it creates Ates resentment and distrust in the long run your Burning Bridges you may never be able to rebuild and let's not forget taking credit is a form of betrayal it's telling someone I see your effort but I care
more about my own success than acknowledging yours that's a huge breach of trust and once trust is broken respect follows people aren't naive they can tell when someone's trying to hog the spotlight and even if they don't call you out immediately they'll remember it over time this habit will erode any respect you've built and you'll find yourself isolated now I'm not saying you should downplay your contributions if you've worked hard and deserve recognition own it but also give credit where it's du celebrate the efforts of those who helped you along the way in fact sharing
credit doesn't diminish your success it amplifies it it shows that you're confident enough in your own abilities to recognize the contributions of others people respect leaders who lift others up not those who push others down to get ahead here's the Deep truth success achieved at the expense of others hard work isn't real success it's Hollow and over time it will catch up with you you may think you're winning in the moment but in the the long run you're losing true respect comes from lifting others up from being someone people trust and admire not because you're
perfect but because you're Fair honest and willing to share the spotlight so how do you fix this habit if you've been guilty of it start by acknowledging your mistake if you've taken credit for someone else's work own up to it apologize give them the recognition they deserve and make it clear that you value their cont contributions moving forward make it a point to always give credit where it's due not only will this build trust but it will also show that you're someone with integrity and integrity more than anything else is the foundation of respect in
the end taking credit for others work is a sign of insecurity not strength it shows that you're more concerned with the appearance of success than the substance of it but when you give credit when you lift others up and celebrate their contributions you're building a reputation as someone who's secure fair and deserving of respect and that's the kind of person people will want to follow trust and admire six being emotionally reactive being emotionally reactive is one of the most destructive habits you can have if you want to be respected it's not just about flying off
the handle in a moment of anger it's about letting your emotions rule your actions words and decisions when people see that you can't control your emotions they'll never trust you with responsibility leadership or even friendship why because emotional reactivity signals that you're unstable unpredictable and frankly immature I've been there there was a time in my life when I was a slave to my emotions if something upset me I'd lash out or I'd sulk for hours if someone criticized me I'd immediately get defensive raising my voice or storming off looking back it's cringeworthy I thought I
was standing up for myself or proving a point but in reality I was just showing everyone how little control I had over myself and that's the kicker people don't respect someone who can't even govern their own feelings think about it who do we admire the person who calm Under Pressure who can take criticism without losing their cool who can handle stress without falling apart that's strength but when you're emotionally reactive you're sending the opposite message you're telling the world that your emotions are in charge not your rational mind and people will instinctively steer clear of
you because they know that one wrong word or slight inconvenience could set you off there's a deep message here emotional reaction activity isn't a sign of passion or care it's a sign of insecurity when you're quick to anger quick to tears or quick to any extreme emotional response it's often because you're trying to protect something fragile within yourself whether it's your ego your self-image or a fear of being hurt but here's the harsh truth no one respects fragility when it comes in the form of overreaction in fact they'll start to see you as a burden
someone they need to tiptoe around rather than a strong reliable individual I once worked with someone who was the textbook definition of emotionally reactive in meetings if someone didn't agree with her idea she'd either lash out defensively or completely shut down it was like walking on eggshells around her and as a result people stopped involving her in important discussions they didn't trust her to handle feedback maturely what she didn't realize was that every time she had an emotional Outburst she was Burning Bridges and losing respect and the sad part she was smart and talented but
her emotional instability overshadowed all of that here's the kicker being emotionally reactive makes you look weak not strong you might think you're showing passion but what you're really showing is a lack of control and people don't respect someone who can't control themselves in fact they start to pity you think about the times you've seen someone lose it yelling crying throwing things did you respect them in that moment probably not you likely felt embarrassed for them even if you didn't say it out loud that's the kind of response you'll provoke if you let your emotions Take
the Wheel but let's go deeper why are we so emotionally reactive it's often because we feel threatened our ego feels bruised or we feel like we're losing control of a situation so we lash out to regain that sense of power but true power isn't in the Outburst it's in maintaining your composure when everything around you is falling apart when you can stay calm even in the face of criticism stress or confrontation people will see you as some someone with real strength and that's where respect comes in the stoics were masters of emotional control they believed
that while we can't control external events we can always control our internal response and that's the key your response is your power you can choose to react emotionally or you can choose to stay grounded when you stay grounded you not only gain respect but you also gain control over the situation ation itself because when you're calm you think clearly you make better decisions you don't say things you'll regret later you don't burn Bridges you maintain your dignity there's a personal moment I'll never forget I was once in a heated argument with a close friend things
were escalating quickly and I was on the verge of losing it but something in me clicked I realized that if I let my emotions take over I'd ruin the Friendship for good so I took a deep breath stepped back and calmed down I didn't shout I didn't retaliate instead I listened and because of that we were able to have a real conversation and resolve the issue if I had reacted emotionally I would have lost someone important in my life respect isn't something you can demand it's something you earn by living with integrity and self discipline
these toxic habits we've discussed slowly erode respect until you wake up wondering why people don't take you seriously it doesn't matter how talented or smart you are if you're constantly making excuses being lazy or losing control of your emotions you undermine yourself think about the people you admire they aren't perfect but they're consistent responsible and composed they don't blame others or crumble under pressure if you want respect start by respecting yourself enough to eliminate the habits that are holding you back
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