Have you ever felt confused about your emotions? Have you ever blown up at someone for such stupid reasons that even you were impressed when you stopped to think about it afterwards? Or have you even missed a good opportunity in life because you felt insecure or didn't know how to express your truth, but in a respectful way without irony or indirectness and without letting anger dominate?
This requires a lot of maturity. In fact, I'm sure you've been in situations like this. We've all been there, but perhaps until today you haven't realized that you could have come out of these situations much better if you knew your inner world and your emotions very well.
The truth is that we don't like to admit to ourselves that we are acting immaturely. We think that because we are getting older, we are mature and know how to deal with life very well. And we tell ourselves that we reacted that way because that situation required it to be that way, and there was no other alternative.
Well, things aren't quite like that. Maturity is not achieved with age. It takes diverse experiences, but also dedication and openness of mind.
What we have most out there are immature adults and great propagators of hate and negative energy. Your wounded children are the ones who master emotional intelligence, it makes all the difference in our lives. It is what helps us evolve as human beings and prosper in our lives.
But what is emotional intelligence anyway? Emotional Intelligence is a term coined by the American psychologist Daniel Burman and which refers to an individual's ability to identify their feelings and emotions more easily and know how to choose the best path. When we don't have this intelligence, we are simply dragged by our emotions and have terrible attitudes, such as eating when we are sad or anxious, or even reacting with verbal or physical violence to simple everyday events.
We don't have to go far to see several of these situations occurring, do we? The benefits of Emotional Intelligence are countless for both adults and children of different ages. Children who develop emotional intelligence build better relationships, are less involved in drinking, drugs and violence, and also reduce the rate of depression and anxiety, and even unwanted pregnancies in teenagers.
They also have fewer eating disorders and still achieve much better grades. Research shows that these children are much more successful in life as adults than those who have not developed emotional intelligence. Adults also greatly improve their relationships, both personal and professional.
In the family environment and in marriage, for example, communications are much more effective and you can find better solutions, greatly reducing the number of fights and divorces. At work, you can express yourself better both with your bosses and your subordinates and this even improves even the company's results, and with more efficient communication and better results, they get increasingly better positions. Furthermore, adults with emotional intelligence also become much more optimistic, less depressed, complain less about life, have less fear and less shyness, develop more empathy and are more cooperative.
But then, how do you develop emotional intelligence? Well, there are several techniques that are useful for different stages of life. Babies can already start to learn this from their parents, for example, but, of course, parents need to have some degree of Emotional Intelligence.
Therefore, there is no age limit to start: the sooner the better. But, as an adult, the results are also excellent. One of the important points is to develop self-awareness.
We can start by analyzing thoughts, feelings and reactions, and giving them names, trying to identify whether what has emerged is anger, fear, anxiety, or a depressive state, for example. Then, let's identify what governed the reaction: was it a thought or was it an emotion? We will also evaluate the consequences of alternative options.
We must also try to understand what generated that specific feeling by going deeper into the issue. Investigate until you find an answer that really seems to make sense to you. Another interesting point is to evaluate our strengths and weaknesses.
Identifying that we do have weak points allows us to accept our humanity, makes us more humble and gives us the possibility of working on them. Another technique is to begin to develop an understanding of the other person's perspective and a genuine interest in their world. This generates empathy and compassion and reduces our tendency to judge others, and this improves our relationships and our relationship with the world.
Furthermore, research shows that people who are interested in helping others are much happier than those who only care about themselves. Another cool point is to try to listen carefully. We call this active listening.
Start by making an effort not to cut off the other person's thoughts, let them conclude even if you have already disagreed. But continue listening carefully and thoughtfully. Sometimes you may even have had the wrong opinion by only hearing half of the thought.
Another attitude that helps develop emotional intelligence is identifying negative emotions and accepting them as they exist. Only after we accept that something exists can we work on it. Fear, anger, insecurity, envy, jealousy, all of this happens within us.
If we deny it, they continue to dominate us even though we think we are in control. The point here is to identify what they arose, try to understand why they arose, whether they really make sense and how we can work on them, thus preventing them from controlling us. Another technique is to understand that you are responsible for your destiny.
It doesn't matter what situation you find yourself in now. You can change your reality. Analyze your mind, identify the internal points that led you to the current situation, stop blaming others, take responsibility for yourself and determine to work on the internal points necessary to change your external reality.
An important point that we have to understand is that it is not easy to evolve in this emotional field, as these skills need to be developed exactly at the moment when disturbances are present, and it is precisely at that moment that we are most closed to receiving new information. So be patient with yourself. Be aware of your internal world during your day to day life, but don't torture yourself because you still can't handle something as you would like.
Work little by little. Think of it as an ultramarathon and not a 100 meter race. And another important point that can help you with this transformation is observing your breathing.
Breathing is a good thermometer of the mind. When you notice that it is racing or not breathing fully, try to make it calm and deep again, and your mind will also calm down, and it will be easier to analyze the situation and make better decisions. I hope this video was able to help you.
But I recommend that you deepen your studies on the subject. A good starting point is Daniel Goleman's own book called emotional intelligence. And another great practice that helps a lot on this journey is meditation.
These and other complementary content are below in the video description. Don't forget to check it out! And you, have you ever heard of Emotional Intelligence?
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