[Applause] theost the thank you for watching thank you for joining us here in rainy rainy Los Angeles California relax we got a whole hour it's um I have to say I'm excited I had a fun day today this morning I don't know if I told you SC I went to uh over to Tesla I bought I bought a cyber truck I put a a brick on the accelerator I let it roll off the Santa Monica Pier it was very refeshing you know St Patrick's Day is on Monday are you ready for St Patrick ready Jimmy
ready you didn't do anything crazy like giving up drinking for a Lent did you beer Jimmy beer but not tequila yes for real yeah beer has a lot of calories tequila do have no calories okay yeah can I ask you a question yeah do you ever worry that you're confusing God no no okay all right well in Washington they got a they got an early start on St Patrick's Day president Trump this morning welcomed the prime minister of Ireland although welcomed might not be the right word uh Trump spent most of the meeting telling reporters
how badly Ireland treats us while he was sitting right there that's his thing now anytime a world leader shows up right off the bat they have to apologize for whatever slight president drama queen has created in his head Putin will get a backrub if he ever comes but the Irish Prime Minister gets a stubby little finger in his face most of Trump's meetings now take place in front of the press because why be off TV when you can be on it and since the White House kicked out the Associated Press they've made spots for friendlier
Outlets which is a decision that has created a buffet of buffoonery much of it from a gentleman who happens to be the boyfriend of Marjorie Taylor green he's the one who asks olinsky why aren't you wearing a suit today he hit the Irish Prime Minister with this important question welcome United States you look you look great thank you nice Su now you feel good Ireland is known for very happy fun loving people great attitude many in this room right now that I've met why in the world would you let Rosie OD Donald move to Ireland
I think she's going to lower your happiness level that's true thank you I like that question you know you do you know who she is do you know who she is you better you better off not know now this Feud with Rosie has been going on longer than me and Matt Damon now it's kind of I mean and what a I mean listen what a great question this is the kind of energy you bring when your girlfriend keeps beating you at arm wrestling at home you know if they're going to allow stupid questions to be
asked at the White House I would like them to invite me to ask some stupid questions Mr President I'm I'm with ABC when you're on the toilet you you ever look down and cry meanwhile the prices Trump said he would lower on day one are still high our eggs have the flu and half the Department of Education is about to get laid off the new secretary of education is Linda McMahon who's married to Vince McMahon of the WWE could you imagine getting fired by the wife of the disgraced wrestling meat head don't let the folding
chair hit you on the way out here's a math problem okay if the Department of Education has 4,000 employees and the president Cuts 50% of the workforce how many Edibles do I need to get through the next 4 years Trump really he's he's Thanos the Department of Education goodbye half the Department of Education goodbye half the National Park Service goodbye half our allies goodbye half of your 401k they all disappear and they're not coming back and by law now Trump cannot close the department Department of Education he has to have an act of Congress to
do that but luckily for him the Supreme Court ruled last year that by law he doesn't have to do things by law he is above the law like a chubbier Steven Sagal if you will you know while Trump and Elon are treating our government like it's the severed floor at Lumen they talk a lot about federal employees and how they don't work how they don't do anything how they don't even bother to show up at the office of course they don't know any of this they just say it and they send in the Doge crew
with with the chainsaw which makes this report from CNN of particular interest this is the woman Elon Musk put in charge of speaking for the office of personnel management which is the body in charge of supervising the entire Federal Workforce it looks just like any other influencer video a young woman posing in front of a camera over and over and over again her name is mclen pinover and she's the Trump administration's new director of communications for the office of personnel management all of these videos were shot in her government office right here at OPM headquarters
in Washington DC inside her office pinover captures video at her desk putting on makeup modeling new outfits to her 800 followers you know it was a cute skirt I listen you know what you don't want to fire PE a bunch of people wearing the same outfit it's rude you have to have a different look for each person you let go on uary 13th the day 20 people on her Communications team lost their jobs she posted a moment for mixed patterns yeah let's have a moment for mixed patterns and mix messages too the worst part of
the story she only has 800 followers maybe Elon can help her with that I this is quite a person this Elon Musk Elon Musk sat with Trump's obedient servant Larry cudow the other night on Fox Business where both men were absolutely bubbling over with Charisma and charm you know if we turn off this gigantic money magnet uh for illegal immigrants then they will leave and they will lose voters MH [Laughter] [Applause] producers are yelling at me to get out I don't want to end this interview because it's too much fun thank you thank you for
all your service El mus we appreciate very much appreciate take care so Much Chemistry I would like to see them host a game show together in happier news we have a major technological breakthrough to a report an international team of scientists have created the world first fully functioning 3D printed penile implant there it is it was a collaboration by researchers from the US China and Japan isn't it great that despite all our differences we can still come together to make a boner and freeing come the implant is made of a gel and has been successfully
tested on pigs what a magical time it is to be a pig give me your heart I need a new valve I ate too much bacon finish up that slop I got a rubber penis to test out on you erections as many of you know are not guaranteed they can be Elusive and that's why so many men with soft in their pants are celebrating this exciting new development I'm happiest for him really there are technical advancements happening just about everywhere Tik Tok has announced a new feature that is designed to help younger users relax and
wind down after being glued to their app all day if a kid under 16 years old is still using the app after 1000 p.m. Tik to will interrupt their feed with a full screen wind down reminder that plays calming music to help them relax and be mindful of what time it is that's great Tik Tok is trying to help kids relax this is like meth telling us to meditate it's but that's how addictive it is even their own companies's like the only way to stop this is to hypnotize them that's when I was a kid
we also had uh Tick Tock to lull us to sleep it was called a clock if you really want your kids to get good sleep the best way to do it is to order a my pillow my pillow CEO Mike Lindell needs you to order one because as if he doesn't have enough problems he's being now sued by FedEx for almost $9 million in unpaid Fe fees for delivery and I think I know why he's not paying the shipping fees I'm excited to announce that we're having our first ever mega sale on Overstock clearance and
brand new products but wait remember that $75 free shipping rule well that ship is sale because right now every order ships absolutely free turns out it's free for us but not him he's got a pay poor Mike Lindell is going to be the first person ever to plead insanity and bankruptcy court but this loss from FedEx comes 2 months after Mike Lindell was ordered to pay DHL another Shipping Company almost $800,000 for not paying them which is not great so I thought it might be a good idea to check in on Mike to see how
he's holding up and let's go to him now I although he's not there now Mike are you there oh I think he's Mike Mike are you okay I said are you okay is that you Elon you got the money no it's not Elon and I don't have money it's Jimmy I'm just worried about you oh calm down Gypsy Kendall it's not the first time I've been buried alive what do you want you're just coming to rub it in because old Mike is getting insued again no I have not rub I wanted to see how you're
doing this seems like a serious lawsuit I know who who the heck knew that I could get sued by Panda Express after how much I love their broccoli beef and poodles with noodles them chineses is out to get me Mike unless there's another lawsuit I don't know about it's nothing to do do with Panda Express it's Federal Express FedEx is sh you than Jesus I can't go to Chinese prison again them finger cuffs they got they're deadly got gagged them and I'm stuck in them right now again the last time I almost starved to death
you know how hard it is eating stew with your digits are incarcerated yeah you got to stop tugging on it you got I can't you got to push your fingers in not out no you sound like my wife you got a let a in do it or you could chew through them also thank you anyway are you worried about this lawsuit that is a lot of money 9 million no no not too much I'll just throw it right in the pile Oh are those all lawsuits who else is suing you who ain't suing me they
got the Dominion vot machines they got Freo C of Mt for accidentally kidnapping the mayor what I'm getting prostituted by the court of henan County for skinny mobiling what is skinny mobile it's like skinny dipping but you're on a snowmobile so wait so you rode naked on a snowmobile I was Buck dude ain't getting my dinger froze to the running board punishment enough for everybody I would think so yeah even my own dentist is lawyer shooting me oh no what happened with your dentist well you know me Jimbo you touched my tongue i i cho
down like a hound and don't let go until you poke me in my anus here I'll show you what I no no no it's okay we don't know I I'll take your word for it we don't okay fight shoot yourself now yeah on top FedEx in addition of FedEx DHL sued you and the mailman oh and the mail you're being sued by the US Postal Service no I'm being sued by one one mailman my guy Jean cuz he fell down my wolf hole your what my wolf hole it's something wrong with your ears come on
clean it out I dug a pit in the yard and I filled it with sharped up r candles to capture wolves oh wolves oh okay your wolf hole is Gina okay well he's full of potatoes oh he didn't get hurt all the dead wolfs down there they broke his F I've been meaning to clean it out but every time I turn around I'm getting losted Again by something else I barely got time to ship my pillows no more oh how are you shipping my pillows now I'm going back to basics and doing it the oldfashioned
way I got my nephew Juno out there with with a cart full of pillars and a team of rescue zebras traveling down the Oregon Trail he was a little late getting back because he got small pox from rubbing tenders with an Indian princess and a wigwam but he should be okay it's the first time he's had a VD how you know yeah oh my god well that's good I guess it's good Jimmy looks like maybe you guys have spray painted a donkey there huh well what I would say is it takes a jackass to No
One Jimmy K hey speaking of pillars check out this Mamita oh boy wow what is that well it's my new suffocating pillar for when you need to smother an elderly relative to get their disability benefit oh no that's awful that's not that's terrible no it's very Humane they just drift off gently kicking and squealing but because of my patented fill you don't hear a pee I see okay Jim because you're my only friend I'll give you 15% off if you use a promo code suffer Kate and grandma no you know what I think I'm okay
on that for now thank you you sure I can't help you kill your grandma I'm sure both of my grandmothers are dead already so oh mine too Grandma Lindell would have been 122 next month fell asleep from drinking too much and choked on one of her own teeths oh my God she used to call me biscuit okay good luck and uh just good luck to you too Juno good luck with the VD and I'm so sorry B kid Garo do you know how many subscribers we have on YouTube now uh 20 million that's right yeah
that's why we're wearing these glasses thanks for being a subscriber if you're not help us get to 20 million in one [Music] a
