I Ended My Engagement To My Fiancée After She Wanted A "Break" To Explore Her Ex....-Reddit Stories

I ended my engagement to my fiance after she wanted a break to explore her ex I sold our house and disappeared hello everyone after what feels like an eternity i 27 million decided it was time to discuss what has been going on with me recently here's the thing until lately I thought I was marrying the love of my life Tessa 26f we'd been together for 4 years and for the most part I thought we were solid but now I'm sitting here wondering why I didn't see this coming sooner Tessa and I met at a birthday

celebration introduced by a mutual friend she was humorous confident and had a no-nonsense approach that I enjoyed I dated previously but no one connected with me as she did we hit it off quickly and moved in together after a year things felt natural as if we were all on the same page about professions marriage and eventually creating a family she was a freelance graphic designer and I worked as a project manager for a technology business so our schedules were very similar life wasn't glamorous but it was enjoyable we had been discussing getting married for a

time but it wasn't until last year that I proposed nothing fancy just a simple supper at home for the two of us Tessa seems thrilled she cried hugged me and agreed that night we began to envision our future a fall wedding a limited guest list and this charming little site by the lake it seemed like everything was falling into place or so I thought the initial red flags were little and evident they were little sneaky flaws that I ignored Ed because I didn't want to overthink for example Tessa's enthusiasm for wedding preparation faded after a

few months she was all in at first sending me Pinterest boards searching through wedding outfits and asking about small details like whether I preferred tulips or roses for the centerpieces but suddenly it simply stopped I'd ask her questions like hey have you chosen your bridesmaids yet and she'd shrug it aside not yet I'm still thinking about it she said again the same thing happened with her clothing cake and music music every decision we'd been so enthused about had become something she wanted to postpone there's still time she'd say the wedding seemed like an afterthought at

the time I told myself it was just stress wedding planning can be overwhelming right plus Tessa had a lot going on at work I assumed she'd snap out of it eventually what I didn't realize was that her lack of enthusiasm wasn't about the wedding but about us the true slap in the face Happened One Night while we were out with some friends someone brought up the dumb Tik Tok game which you've probably seen it's the one where you have to answer personal questions while keeping a straight face and not passing judgment everything was going well

until someone said if you could relive one relationship which would it be without thinking Tessa responded oh probably Dylan just like that Dylan her College X the person who cheated on her the moment she uttered that the room became awkwardly quiet she giggled awkwardly and attempted to backtrack saying I mean not not that I'd want to it's just a significant element of my past I wanted to confront her right there but we were among friends so I let it go later when we were alone I asked her about it what was it about Dylan why

would you choose to revisit that relationship she simply Shrugged it off as if it were no big thing it was a stupid game Liam don't take it so seriously she grinned and shifted the subject I didn't press it because honestly I didn't want to start a battle over something that could have been minor but deep down it stayed with me following that her behavior became more difficult to ignore she was using her phone more frequently going through her text with a cheeky little smile she began creating vague explanations for why she couldn't hang out or

why she would cancel plans at the last minute oh sorry I just have a lot of work to catch up on tonight she'd typically remark or it may be I promised my mom I'd visit this weekend the justifications were not particularly suspicious but they were stacking up it seemed like I had become less a priority then came Friday night which changed everything I arrived home from work early excited to spend the evening with Tessa I was hoping we might order in and binge watch something a quiet night when I came in however the atmosphere seemed

odd she was Seated on the couch holding her laptop but she wasn't working she was staring at the screen absolutely unfocused hey I'm home I murmured hoping to relieve the tension you're early she said as if it were a negative thing I Shrugged it off and went into the kitchen to begin preparing dinner but the silence in the house was oppressive usually she'd ask how my day was or tell me about her own what about tonight nothing finally I looked around and asked is everything okay she shut her laptop and glanced at me actually there's

something I need to talk to you about and my stomach sank you know how you feel when you know something horrible is going to happen but you can't stop it that was me standing there like an idiot with a spatula in one hand I approached and sat across from herall right I said what is going on she paused as if she were trying to find the proper words she just came out with it I've been thinking about us and about Dylan I swear that I almost laughed Dylan are you serious what about him she bit

her lip and avoided my gaze I suppose I need some time to consider things through I'd like to take a break and see whether there's still something there with him I couldn't believe what I heard heard do you want to take a break and date your ex are you out of your mind Tessa we've got engaged it's not like that she responded hurriedly as if she could smooth things up I just want to know if I'm making the right choice with you and if it doesn't work out I pledge to come back that's when I

discovered how deep her chutzpah was she assumed I would sit around and wait for her to decide whether I was good enough something inside me moved at that very instant I did not yell or blow up I just sat there staring at her wondering how the hell I hadn't seen this coming I wasn't sure how to answer it first my fiance recently informed me that she wants to take a break to explore things with her ex Dylan what can you say to that finally I asked so what does this break mean to you my voice

came out more calmer than I felt she straightened up slightly as if she had been ready for this conversation I believe we need some space to figure things out I'll take some time to see if my feelings for Dylan are genuine and you are welcome to ponder on us as well well I couldn't believe the audacity wait I replied leaning forward you're saying you need to date your ex but I need to reflect on us what kind of backwards logic is that Tess aside as if I were the one acting unreasonable it's not about you

doing something wrong Liam this is about me figuring out what I need she seemed to have practiced this the way she spoke the way she avoided eye contact it was as if she had already decided this was going to happen and simply wanted me to accept it you know this sounds insane right I muttered you don't just put your fiance on hold while you go play what if with some guy who treats you like garbage her face tightened and for the first time I realized how stubborn she could be I'm not asking for permission Liam

I'm telling you what I need that one landed differently I wasn't just sad anymore I was angry I stood up and began pacing hoping to calm myself down so what Tessa you're just going to pack a bag and head over to Dylan's place is that your big plan no she insisted it's not like that I just I don't know what it looks like yet but I need Clarity before we move forward I owe it to myself to know I'm making the right decision you owe it to yourself I asked laughing cruy and what about what

you owe me we're engaged Tessa we're supposed to be building a life together and now you're telling me you need to test drive your ex to make sure I'm good enough I never said you weren't good enough she replied her voice Rising but if we're going to spend the rest of our lives together I have to be certain and right now I'm not that was it she wasn't simply interested in exploring things with Dylan she was also unsure about me even after four years together and all of our plans she was still unsure it struck

me all at once she hadn't realized how painful and stupid her plea was she believed this was reasonable that I'd just sit there while she figured out whatever foolishness was going through her head I stopped pacing and glanced at her really stared at her you know what sure I responded my tone Bland take your break she blinked surprised by how quickly I agreed Liam I'm not trying to hurt you I just I need space to figure things out I nodded and kept my expression Bland all right if that's what you need she paused as if

she expected me to argue or fight for her when I didn't she stood up took out her laptop and murmured I'll stay at my mom's for a bit this isn't forever we'll talk when I've had some time okay I replied simply she looked at me wondering how to answer and then disappeared into the bedroom I could hear her moving around and throwing items into a bag I remained calm on the couch but my mind was already turning if she really wants a break that's okay let her have it several minutes later I heard the front

door close she was gone perhaps believing she had abandoned me here to wait and worry she had no idea I was not going to sit around and do nothing she could have her fantasy but I had other ideas now I'll provide an update once I've set some things in motion this is not going to end the way she expects it to update one thank you for your feedback and suggestions on my last post a lot has happened this week and I'd like to report how things are going first and foremost I want to thank everyone

in this community for their wonderful support many of you mentioned that I don't just sit around waiting and you were correct I've been busy putting everything into motion first I called my pal Noah he's been my best best friend since college and he's not the type of man to sugarcoat things after hearing the full story he brought over pizza and we spent the entire night scheming dude you realize she's going to try to crawl back once things don't work out with Dylan right Noah reminded him he was correct of course the more we talked the

more obvious it became that I needed to be proactive this was not about vengeance it was about regaining control of my life I began with the house Tessa doesn't seem to recall that it's entirely in my name she loves to act as if it's our home always talking about the curtains and paint colors she chose yet I'm the one who pays the mortgage I phoned a realtor first thing Monday morning the realtor came by to see the property and we decided to list it right away the market in our neighborhood is now hot and we

already have several potential purchasers Tessa has no idea she probably believes I'm sitting here in our shared home waiting for her to sort out her feelings The Next Step was to gradually remove her from my life you remember the live laugh love placards she insisted on putting up gone did she have to have those beautiful throw pillows donated her clothing and personal belongings that she left behind I carefully packaged them all up but this is where I became strategic instead of just dropping her belongings off at her mother's house or having her come fetch them

I hired a moving company they took everything to her mother's house and left a short note here's your stuff good luck with Dylan I know some of you may think this is petty but I disagree I'm not being vengeful I'm being efficient she wanted some room to think things through well she's got it literally the most fascinating moment came when mutual friends began asking questions instead of playing the victim or slandering her I simply stated the truth Tessa decided she needed to explore things with her ex before committing to marriage I decided I deserve better

than being someone's backup plan you should watch how people respond to that no drama no accusations just facts it's amazing how rapidly the story changed changes when you don't try to control it I've also been making moves at work I applied for a position at our West Coast office that I'd been considering for a long time if the house sells which seems quite likely and I get this job I'll be starting over on the other side of the country Tessa has attempted to contact me several times this week first with light-hearted texts like hope you're

doing okay and progressing to progressively concerned messages when she learned I was actually making changes rather than simply waiting around yesterday she was in a panic when her mother informed her that the boxes had been delivered what are you doing why are you acting like this is over I kept my response simple because it is over Tessa you made your choice and now I'm making mine she began crying claiming that she simply wanted time to figure things out that I was being quick and that this was not what she meant when she asked for a

break what did you expect I questioned her that I'd sit here like a faithful puppy while you test drove your ex that's not how this works but what if I realize you're the the one I want she was weeping then you'll have learned a valuable lesson about not taking people for granted I said before hanging up the phone the weird thing is that I'm no longer upset instead I feel liberated every box I pack Every Move I Make feels like I'm reclaiming parts of myself that I didn't realize I'd given up Noah came by again

yesterday to assist me with packing the house he also saw the change in me you seem different he observed more focused HEK correct I'm different when Tessa first revealed her desire to pursue things with Dylan I felt like my world was falling now I see it wasn't my world collapsing but rather the false reality i' been living in finally disintegrating I have more things in the works but I will hold them for the next update for the time being I'll simply say this sometimes the greatest way to respond to someone treating you as an option

is to completely remove yourself from their list of options stay tuned this narrative hasn't ended yet and I have a feeling Tessa is finding that her break to straighten things out isn't going to go nearly as planned update 2 I appreciate all of the feedback on my recent update things have escalated significantly and I'd like to tell you how the situation has evolved remember how I mentioned applying for the West Coast position okay I got it the timing could not be better the house is under contract and the closing is slated for next month but

that's only the beginning what's particularly interesting is how Tessa's Dylan exploration is unfolding through Mutual connections I discovered that their restored passion isn't quite the fairy tale she envisioned apparently four years haven't changed him much he's still the untrustworthy guy who cheated on her in college but here's when it gets good Tessa has attempted to control the narrative on social media she has been sharing vague inspiring phrases about finding yourself and following your heart so I decided to play the same game but with a Twist I created a single factual post update on my life

excited to to announce I've accepted a position in San Francisco sometimes when one door closes better ones open looking forward to this new chapter the comments and texts began pouring in people congratulated me inquired about the relocation and of course wondered about Tessa I kept my answers basic and honest we're no longer together she wanted to explore other options so I'm exploring mine too this set off a fantastic chain reaction in our Social Circle remember those friends who weren't sure about about the situation watching me handle this with Grace as Tessa shar's cryptic relationship quotations

completely changed the atmosphere then came the professional consequences Tessa's freelance design employment is primarily based on recommendations and networking Sarah 29f a Mutual contact in the computer field who used to refer many clients to Tessa contacted me I need to know what happened Sarah explained over coffee Tess is telling people you're having a temporary separation to grow individually but something feels off I shared Sarah Tessa's note about wanting to date Dylan Sarah's look said at all she did not believe it by the end of the week numerous potential clients had pushed back their projects with

Tessa not because I said anything nasty but because honestly who wants to work with someone who takes commitment so lightly Tessa sensed the shift her texts become more frequent and frantic why are you telling people about Dylan you're ruining my reputation this isn't fair I just needed time to think I answered to the last one you got what you wanted time and space how I spend mine is no longer your concern then came the Turning Point Dylan in his wonderful wisdom shared a photo of them together at the restaurant where Tessa and I had our

first date it was evident she was attempting to recreate our history with him it was both sad and funny the post didn't last long but the damage was done our friends witnessed it and the remaining few individuals who supported Tessa's finding myself story lost respect for her even her own sister contacted me I'm so sorry about how she's handling this you deserve better what is the most satisfying part I didn't have to be vengeful I simply lived my life freely and honestly whereas Tessa attempted to play Both Sides the truth has a way of emerging

she visited my office yesterday Dylan seemed to have already revealed his true colors flirting with other women being untrustworthy a familiar story she was crying I made a huge mistake she cried I was scared of commitment I thought I needed to know if there was something better out there but I was wrong you're the best thing that ever happened to me I simply gazed at her calmly no Tessa the best thing that ever happened to me was you showing your true colors before we got married she attempted to argue claiming that we could fix this

that she would go to counseling and that she would prove she could be trusted again I simply shook my head you don't get it do you this isn't about Dylan anymore this is about you thinking you could keep me as a backup while you explore your options that's not love that's convenience she left my office distraught but I felt better than ever the house closes next week the majority of my belongings are packed and my new life in San Francisco begins in a month the funny thing is that some folks think I'm being overly tough

everyone makes mistakes they explain however this was not a mistake it was a choice there are actually several options available each time she texted Dylan every time she lied about where she was she spent every second planning to put our Ro on hold these were all options I'll provide another update once the move is complete for the time being I'll leave you with this sometimes the best revenge isn't getting even but rather getting better and this is exactly what I'm doing next update update three thank you for following my journey this will be my final

update and I have some interesting developments to report San Francisco is everything I imagined it would be my new apartment has a stunning view of the Bay and the tech scene here is fantastic my new office team is fantastic it's refreshing to be around people who prioritize growth and Innovation over drama but first let me catch you up on how things ended back home the closing went smoothly and the house actually sold for more than the asking price it was interesting to see Tessa's reaction after finding out through mutual friends she didn't believe I'd sold

the house until she drove by and saw the new owners move in here's where it got really interesting remember Dylan he reached out to me of all people he sent me a long message about how he never meant to cause problems and that Tessa had contacted him first months before she requested the break Tessa had been planning her little exploration for quite some time she had been messaging Dylan for months carefully laying the groundwork for her backup strategy what's with the irony Dylan ended their relationship because as he put it if she could do this

to you she could do it to anyone Tessa's professional Fallout has been significant remember all the clients she'd lined up most of them discovered other designers not because I said anything but because word spreads in the industry one of her largest clients really contacted me we heard what happened with the engagement they told us we're looking for someone who can commit to long-term projects do you know any reliable designers I recommended a talented acquaintance of mine and she received the contract Karma I suppose Tessa's social media meltdown has been something to see then came the

sorrowful quotations about losing your sweetheart followed by Angry posts about toxic people who can't handle growth finally she made urgent attempts to show everyone how delighted she was the final one was quite interesting she wrote about beginning her own design firm 3 days later she began sending out job applications last week her sister contacted me again Tessa has apparently been staying with their parents stating she needs time to heal from our separation her sister's exact words were she really thought you'd wait for her when you sold the house and moved it broke her fantasy completely

the most reassuring moment occurred during a video call with our old friend group they were telling me about local gossip and someone described seeing Tessa at a coffee shop explaining to a potential customer why her portfolio website was down apparently she forgot that I was the one who set it up and maintained it she couldn't figure out how to restore her hosting membership when it expired not my concern anymore my new life here is coming together well I've joined a local Rock Climbing Club begun taking Spanish lessons and even adopted a dog from a local

shelter his name is Zeus and he's a greater companion than my ex- fiance The Tech Community here is really inviting last week I was invited to speak at a developer conference which would not have happened if I had stayed at home it's amazing what you can accomplish when you're not dragging dead weight I had one last interaction with Tessa she sent me an email requesting some old images from our shared cloud storage I had previously downloaded what I wanted and terminated the account several weeks ago her email stated I know you're trying to erase me

from your life but you can't just delete our memories those four years meant something my reply was simple you're right those years taught me what I don't want in a partner thanks for the lesson some mutual acquaintances believe I am being very harsh and should be more understanding of her moment of confusion however that wasn't a moment it was a calculated decision to keep me as a safety net while she pursued what she believed to be a better option what is the most important thing I've learned from all of this sometimes the worst things that

happen to you result in the best outcomes if Tessa hadn't shown her true colors I could have married her only to learn her genuine personality years later possibly with children in the mix instead I'm in a lovely city with a wonderful job making new friends and feeling optimistic about the future the anguish of betrayal has been replaced by thankfulness for The Gunshot avoided thank you to everyone who has followed the story and offered advice your encouragement helped me remain strong when I might have faltered and for anyone going through a similar situation know this when

someone shows you who they are believe them the first time don't wait around for them to alter their mind about you life is too short to be someone's backup plan Sometimes the best thing you can do is walk away and make things better for yourself that's it for now guys this chapter of my life has officially ended and I couldn't be more excited for the next one to begin take care and thank you for everything thank you for watching if you haven't subscribed yet please do so and hit the not notification Bell to stay updated

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