Habits that made me get my life together in my 20s

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Tim Dessaint
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Video Transcript:
today I would like to talk about habits specifically seven habits that made me get my life together in my 20s because I'm almost 30 now that feels a bit weird to say but reflecting back from age 15 to 25 I was for the most part clueless and focused on all the wrong things from 15 to 19 I was addicted to video games and then in my early 20s I focused mostly on partying getting girls and other degenerate behavior and although I don't necessarily regret those days I am grateful to have made significant improvements in my
life over the second half of my 20s I turned my passion into a thriving business got my finances in order have a loving relationship and I'm building a stronger body day by day I'm not saying I have it all figured out far from it but I feel a lot more confident about my life today than I did five years ago and that is in great part thanks to the implementation of seemingly small but consistent habits so here are the seven habits that made me get my life together in my 20s and hopefully they can benefit
you as well the first habit is to abstain from pornography and masturbation didn't think I'd one day be talking about this on YouTube but let's get real for a moment without filters I know we all enjoy a little self-pleasure every now and then but pornography is a silent killer especially for men it starts out as a harmless distraction but it has a real neurochemical impact on your brain that progressively gets worse over time it desensitizes you to normal sex as it literally rewires your brain on how you get turned on and it drains your energy
and motivation from within what happens when you watch porn is every time you do it you get a release of dopamine which is the pleasure hormone and the more you do it the more dopamine gets released which reinforces the behavior and makes you want to do it again so you get into this vicious cycle that over time becomes harder and harder to escape and just like a drug your tolerance for visual stimulation also compounds over time and then it becomes harder and harder to get turned on by actual real sex there is a lot of
interesting research and videos about the effects of pornography and I'll link to few in the description but I have seen cases where it can become extremely damaging to your life and although it's never snowballed to that point for myself I can't say that I've gone through long stretches of complete abstinence from porn and I always feel a lot better when I'm not engaging in pornography I feel way more focused and clear-minded when I'm off of it I'm also less distracted and it improved the dynamic in my sex life like anything I'm sure if you do
it in moderation it doesn't necessarily have to lead to the darkest outcomes but because of its potential to snowball into this negative cycle many people prefer to stay off of it entirely in fact there are communities online like the nofap movements where people support each other in overcoming porn addiction and other forms of compulsive sexual behavior it is absolutely something that a lot of men have to contend with so definitely don't feel ashamed if you feel like you can relate the second habits that made me get my life together is setting clear goals for the
majority of my life until my mid-20s I was never really intentional with my goals and aspirations I hoped for things Wish for Things pray Aid had certain Ambitions but as the years went by I wasn't actually getting any closer to achieving my goals because a goal without a plan is just a dream and I had no plan I was just cruising through life doing the usual things that parents and Society push it to do go to school get good grades go to a good uni get a stable job simply assuming that everything would fall into
place that this would lead to a fulfilling life but I was wrong after 23 years in the education system once I actually got the marketing job that I thought I wanted that I had been studying my whole life for I realized that this path was not for me at all I was following someone else's dream not my own and since then I have made it a point for myself to live a very intentional life and set clear goals that I actively worked towards so at the end of every year I take a piece of A4
paper and review my goals I divide them into long-term goals which are the 10 plus year ones medium-term goals for the next two to three years and short-term goals for the next year and then I further split them into four categories Health relationships career and finances and I write it all down by the way writing things down on paper is actually a very underrated habit but I digress back to the goals so I would set new short-term goals and then review my medium and long-term ones see how long track I am and I truly believe
in the power of visualization to create your own reality I guess we'll never know in fact many successful athletes use visualization Muhammad Ali for example famously said if my mind can conceive it and my heart can believe it then I can achieve it you have to visualize your goal first be clear about what you want put it down on paper and then align your behavior to your Ambitions which brings me to my third habit Massive Action taking visualizing manifesting call it what you want but it's only one half of the equation the other half is
actually moving towards your goals aggressively with a big emphasis on that word aggressively things did not start changing for me until I cut my put my head down and took Massive Action every day day after day and I really hate how the word hustle has received this negative connotation lately people talk about hustle porn or orchism toxic hustle culture but come on sometimes I think Society has gone a little soft if you want to make a big change in your life you need to make big changes in your behavior whether it's starting a business mastering
a new skill or getting in shape you'll need some level of grinding of hard work of putting your head down and just doing the thing from someone who went from being 40 000 Euros in debt to building a six-figure business within a few years hard work is a necessity you don't get to get there without the late nights the pushing through it when you don't feel like working and it's normal for it to be hard it should be hard otherwise everybody would do it so I think a little imbalance in your work-life pendulum for a
period of time is okay the key is you've got to pursue something that you actually enjoy because if not you will absolutely burn out and it just doesn't make sense why would you work hard to pursue something that you don't even enjoy because money alone is not enough I think that personal fulfillment is so much more important money is needed and it's great but not at the cost of your fulfillment and in this day and age you can monetize almost any skill set so figure out what you love doing first then figure out how to
monetize it visualize and take Massive Action the quick moment to thank our sponsor Asus this elegantly designed laptop is the Asus Zenbook s13 OLED it was designed with two things in mind sustainability and portability the plasma ceramic aluminum lid has a premium Stony touch made with a new manufacturing process that is unique to Asus which allows it to be 100 recycled if needed and the body of the computer is made with 50 recycled and ocean bound Plastics the Zenbook is incredibly thin and light with only one centimeter in depth and one kilogram in weight but
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interested in learning more about the Asus Zenbook or purchasing one for yourself just go to the link in the description now back to the video the fourth habit that made me get my life together is working out I'm gonna be brief with this one because you know it you should know it anybody that's consumed any self-help content that is the first thing you hear go to the gym get your body moving and that's because it works it not only has the obvious physical benefit of making you look better and be healthier but it also greatly
improves your mindset because it makes you do something uncomfortable on a regular basis and if I've learned anything it is that discomfort is actually a good thing our monkey brain is wired to chase Comfort but success and progress in any domain often comes with getting out of your comfort zone dreams be dreams and over time building that consistent habit of working out has strengthened my motivation and discipline in all areas of my life it is a habit I would highly recommend taking on if it's not already part of your lifestyle I am no Fitness expert
but there are many great Fitness channels out there that can help you get started out like Jeff nippard or athelene X which I'll link in the description habit number five is not waking up at 5am a lot of personal development advice tells you to wake up super early and have this meticulously optimized morning routine to be more productive but after many times of personally trying out early morning routines I realize that they simply don't work for me I learned that we all have these different biological clocks some will naturally feel energized and productive in the
evening and others will naturally be up bright and early with Peak energy levels early in the day I am just not a morning person I feel groggy tired and simply not as efficient as I am in the evening and I'm sure many of you will relate to this and that's totally fine don't feel like you're not getting ahead if you're not waking up at 5 do doing a yoga session a workout and finishing all your emails before nine everyone has the same 24 hours in a day everyone has the same 24 hours in a day
today realistically if you're waking up at five that means that you need to be in bed by 9 or 10 pm at the latest if you want at least seven hours of sleep so assuming a similar duration of sleep if I'm going to bed at 1am and waking up at 8 I'm not getting any less time in my day than someone who's off at 5am so I think those 5 a.m morning routines are not for everybody and that that's okay being in tune with your biological clock's natural sleep wake cycle will allow you to feel
and function your best every day habit number six that helped me get my life together was to delay gratification the way our brain is wired it is our natural inclination to move away from Pain and towards pleasure to move away from what is hard and seek what is easy comfortable pleasurable but I learned that in life the more you can delay gratification the better your life will be in the future of course it feels better in the moment to eat that dessert watch another Netflix episode skip the gym but that is not going to help
future me I heard of this concept recently of the rocking chair version of yourself which basically says it may imagine the 80 year old version of yourself that can't move like you used to that doesn't have the time and energy to do the things that your younger self could now make every decision in your life today based on what would make that rocking chair version of yourself proud would that rocking chair Tim be glad that I acted the way I did would he be proud of my actions or would he regret them the vast majority
of the time the instantly gratifying option is not the right one so I try as much as possible to suck it up and do the thing that will improve my future life don't get me wrong now I still like to indulge in a pastry from time to time skip the gym if I genuinely feel too exhausted I try not to be too harsh on myself but ninety percent of the time I will take the action that comes with delayed gratification lastly number seven is a bit of a bonus one because technically it's more of a
mindset rather than a habit but I thought it was too important not to mention because it is arguably the thing that made the most difference in my life in this past decade and that is Extreme accountability once I made the switch from having a victim mind mindset to an extreme accountability mindset that is what I felt the most growth in my life and in myself as a person before I used to think that if only I was raised differently or looked differently or lived in a different place my life would be better it kept me
focused on externalities rather than looking inwards I thought the grass was always greener elsewhere instead of seeing my own potential and I remember the day when I made the switch very clearly it was my first day at the corporate job that I had been working my whole life towards and reality hit me in the face it felt like a glass shattered in front of me and allowed me to see reality for what it was for the first time and I completely switched up took a whole 180 and took full responsibility for my life I blame
myself for everything and funnily enough when I took on that burden it actually freed me in a way it was alleviating to know that in the end everything was my fault because that meant that it was also up to me to change things and to this day I adopt this mindset of extreme accountability in everything I do even if something is clearly not my fault and there is nothing that I could have done about it I still would rather take responsibility for it because that gives me the freedom and power to change the situation for
the better there are many things that helped me get my life together in my 20s I think that really it is a combination of luck hard work skill and maniacal Focus but these seven habits I can say are the ones that have helped me the most and if I had a younger brother that I was giving advice to from the heart these are the seven habits I would want him to implement so I hope you enjoyed the video guys I hope it helped you or provided value to you in some way I wish you a
beautiful day and I will see you in the next one
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