Elon Musk Dominates Trump's First Cabinet Meeting, Claims He Saved America from Bankruptcy

-Welcome, everybody. Thank you. Enjoy yourself.

Enjoy yourself. Welcome, welcome, welcome to "The Tonight Show! " [ Cheers ] Yeah!

You're here! Thank you for being here. Thank you for watching.

Well, guys, today at the White House, President Trump held his first cabinet meeting. Yeah. And the meeting was very productive.

The first half was spent kissing Trump's butt. The second half was spent kissing Elon's. It was very interesting.

Yep, Trump addressed all the major conflicts affecting this country -- Russia versus Ukraine, U. S. versus Canada, and Luka Doncic versus the Mavericks.

Yeah. So we covered it all. During the meeting, Elon Musk was asked to speak, and he said that without his spending cuts, America would go bankrupt.

Yeah. You can tell things are bad, 'cause Elon just launched OnlyFans. gov.

And you know, that's -- that's not good. At one point, Elon acknowledged that his team had "accidentally" canceled an Ebola prevention program, but then quickly fixed it. I don't think that's as reassuring as you think it is.

You know? Tell us that. After letting Elon dominate the first part of the cabinet meeting, Trump took over and delivered an upbeat message to the nation.

-This country has gotten bloated and fat and disgusting. [ Laughter ] -Thanks, coach! [ Laughter ] Some more news from the White House.

The Trump administration just announced that it's now handpicking the reporters who are allowed to cover Trump and ask him questions. Yep, Trump will now only take questions from Fox News, Foxier News, and Foxiest News. [ Laughter ] Foxiest news.

Yeah. Switching gears to some business news, McDonald's just announced $1 Egg McMuffin day to celebrate the sandwich's 50th birthday. [ Audience cheers ] Yeah!

$1. A little suspicious when an Egg McMuffin is cheaper than an actual egg. [ Laughter ] When asked if they're affected by the egg shortage, McDonald's said, "Legally speaking, what we serve aren't 'eggs' from 'birds,' but rather 'powder' from a 'Dustbuster.

'" Anyhow. . .

Well, guys, this is exciting. The Oscars are on Sunday. Yes.

[ Cheers and applause ] So, as always, we go to our resident movie expert, Tariq Trotter, with his thoughts on all of this year's Best Picture nominees. Are you ready, Tariq? -Yeah.

Let's do it. -All right, here we go. First one -- "Anora.

" -Didn't see it. -Okay, second one -- "The Brutalist. " -Didn't see it.

-"A Complete Unknown. " -It is a complete unknown to me. I did not see it.

-"Emilia Pérez? " -[chuckling] No. Which is Spanish for "no.

" -Okay. -"I'm Still Here. " -I'm still haven't seen it.

-"Nickel Boys. " -If I had a nickel for every time I didn't see it, I'd have a nickel -- boy. -"Conclave?

" -Nope. -"The Substance? " -Nah.

-"Dune: Part Two. " -Nay. -Finally, "Wicked.

" [ Vocalizing ] -Hey! Oh, nice! Nice!

You liked "Wicked? " -I didn't see it. -Oh my God.

Tariq Trotter, everyone. [ Cheers and applause ] Finally, I saw that Royal Caribbean is launching a Star Trek themed cruise to celebrate the film's 60th anniversary. Yeah, we already have a Star Trek cruise.

It's called Virgin Voyages. Come on, we have a great show! Give it up for The Roots, everybody.

♪ Uh hey, yo, your hands should clap ♪ ♪ If I ask do you feel it better answer back ♪ ♪ See me in a big boy Burgundy Cadillac ♪ ♪ Cold rhymin' and designin' with the joint on my lap ♪ -We got a fun show tonight! A lot of talent in the building tonight. -My gosh!

-Talented, talented people. You know him from giant films like "Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings" and "Barbie. " His new movie, "Last Breath," is in theaters this Friday.

Simu Liu is here! [ Cheers and applause ] Simu Liu! So talented.

Speaking of talented, he's one of the greatest boxers of all time and he's got a new sports nutrition brand out now called One of One. Floyd Mayweather is joining us! Floyd "Money" Mayweather!

-Come on! -Money, money, money! And we got great music from Jason Isbell!

-Yeah! -Hey! Look at this vinyl.

-Vinyl red. -Ooh! That looks good, huh?

-Guys, it is the second month of the new year, and I think we could all use a little freshen up, a little makeover, a little glow up. That's right. Someone's about to get "yassified.

" Here we go! -♪ Yassifi-i-i-i-i-i-ied ♪ -♪ Week ♪ [ Cheers and applause ] -Last week, we asked people to nominate someone they thought needed a little push over the line to become their best self, someone who needed to be yassified. We got submissions from all over the world -- grandmas, grandpas, coaches, teachers -- and tonight's lucky winners are Lena from Maryland and her dog Rudy.

[ Cheers and applause ] The dog too? Well, Lena and Rudy have had a very busy day. Take a look at this.

-I'm Lena. -And I'm Alfonso, her husband. And this is our dog, Rudy.

He looks like he just took 50 pounds of shrooms. -Today, me and Rudy are getting totally yassified. I'm very excited to get this look.

And I'm excited for Rudy too. -Her wardrobe is very random. -My personal style is whatever is on sale.

I don't get much time to dress up at all. I'm usually taking care of the kids. -Then we got the three cats running around the house.

-I mean, we've got this little diva right here. My look around the house is usually sweatpants that has stains on it. -The best way to describe Rudy is in his name -- rude.

He is bougie. He is spoiled. Rudy definitely has yass energy.

-I definitely think this transformation is going to go to Rudy's head. [ Rudy coughs ] -Yeah! [ Laughter, applause ] Lena and Rudy have been sequestered since their yassification and they haven't seen themselves yet.

Also standing next to me is the person who nominated Lena, her husband Alfonso. . .

[ Cheers and applause ] . . .

who also hasn't seen either one of them. Alfonso, why do you think Lena and Rudy need a little yassification? -You know.

. . as a husband, I'd get in trouble if I said she needs it, but -- but I think she deserves it.

She does so much for the house. -Come on. [ Cheers and applause ] -She's [indistinct].

There we go. Alfonso, keep your blindfold on while we reveal Lena and Rudy's new look to our audience. I love Rudy's doing this.

Audience, you ready to see the new look? [ Cheers and applause ] Here's Lena and Rudy before. .

. and here they are now! Guys, come on out!

[ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ Oh, my God. Oh, my God! [ Laughs ] You look fantastic.

Oh, my God. Hi, buddy. Oh, wow.

You look really great. You really look good. [ Laughter ] Does the tongue always stay out?

-Yeah. -Yeah, it does. Well done.

Alright, Lena, it is time for your husband to see you -- Oh, I'm going to grab you, Alfonso. Come on over and follow me. Just going to scoot on over.

Alright. Are you ready to see Lena and Rudy yassified? Take off your blindfold.

[ Drmroll playing ] -Oh, my -- [ Laughs ] [ Cheers and applause ] -This is -- Come on. Isn't that great? -Oh -- [ Laughs ] -Yeah.

Oh, my gosh! Rudy! Rudy!

Oh, my God! Rudy, Rudy! -Oh, my God!

-Now for the most important reveal of all, Lena, are you ready to see yourself? -Yes. -Here we go.

Alright. Ready? Here we go.

Three, two, one! Yass! Oh, my God!

[ Laughs ] -♪ Ya-a-a-a-a-a-ss ♪ -I mean, come on. You look fabulous. You look fantastic.

Come on. -I love it. -Yeah, I love it, too.

That's a look you should keep. We're yassifying people all week long on "The Tonight Show. " Stick around.

We'll be right back with Simu Liu, everybody. Oh, my God. This is ridiculous.