Become your own parent

I truly believe that taking care of yourself as if you are your own parent is one of the best ways to take care of yourself is one of the ways that you can combine all the self-confidence self-love motivational talk just act as if you are the parent your inner child with every single situation I was walking with a friend of mine and we were talking and she was very frustrated and all of a sudden she goes like you know Liz in moments like this where I'm frustrated I get this urge to just hit myself and

she was kind of joking about it and I looked at her and I said would you hit your child if you were frustrated and then she goes like no are you crazy I would never do such thing that's crazy blah blah and I said so why would you do that to your inner child cuz if you're doing that to yourself you're doing that to your inner child and you're neglecting yourself you're being a bad parent to yourself and as she was like wow I I never really looked at anything that way and I said you

should start doing that because in that way you can show up for yourself in the best way possible and this video I will explain to you how you can do the same exact thing and in what kind of situations this can really save you want to start a new year with new habits then maybe you should consider therapy and with therapy I mean better help better help is a pay partner of this video and they are on mission to make therapy way easier now better help is completely online and it makes it so comfortable and

convenient to sign up because you just fill out a little questionnaire and you get neatly coupled with a therapist in as little as a few days these therapists are from different backgrounds and they also specialize in different things so whatever you feel like you need better help has it now if you connected with a therapist but you didn't really like them better help gives you the option to switch therapists with no additional charge and in real life that wouldn't really happen you can schedule video phone or message based sessions whatever you feel most comfortable with

fresh any day of the year with Better Health either you click the link in the description down below or you visit betterhelp.com wizard list for 10% off your first month hi guys my name is Liz and welcome back to my channel let's get into it first things first thing is creating a routine for yourself what do all children have in common they have routines a child wakes up Goes to School comes home has homework nighttime routine and it's very disciplined because most parents will not allow their children to just do whatever they want during the

day now when we step into adolescence we don't have a routine anymore unless we create it for ourselves and we as humans are naturally not comfortable with that much Freedom our brain naturally craves familiarity because it releases positive emotions when it feels a sense of safety and comfort and routines give you that safety and comfort because you can feel in control of something during the day now if I wake up today and I don't know what I'm going to do or I don't have any routine at all not a skincare routine or nighttime even routine

something so simple I will literally go crazy because what am I doing all day now if you're thinking about being a parent to yourself then you would think okay if I had a child that child would have a routine and that child would have to follow the routine in order for that child to achieve whatever they want and to develop in the best way they can so apply that to yourself yourself what does my morning routine look like what are my goals for today what are my goals for the week and then start are doing

these things when you do something consistently in a routine based it will form into a habit so your body will do it without you even thinking about it the same way you guys probably have a routine of going onto your phone in the morning just looking at your phone and scrolling all day that is routine for you now but you can change that routine into something else into for example you wake up you meditate for 30 minutes if you just do it consistently your mind will adapt to the fact that you're a person who meditates

in the morning now so every successful person that I I know and myself included we all have routines because if you're striving towards goals routines can really structurize your day and it takes away a lot of these excess thoughts and whatever like I even eat the same Foods because I don't want to think about food and all these things that needs to go out of the way so I can focus on my work and on my goals and whatever I want to create next thing is caring about your inner and outer appearance see if you

had a child you wouldn't let your child willingly go outside with dirty clothes smelly not showered not brushing teeth you wouldn't do that because then you're a neglectful parent if you're thinking like that to yourself why are you letting yourself walk out like that why you know it's all about you need to look like you care about yourself and like you respect yourself that means that caring about the way you look and making sure that you present yourself in a way that other people will in turn also respect you cuz I know that everyone wants

to talk about oh we should only care about personality this and that yeah but when someone first looks at you your first impression we don't see the personality we see what you look like you know looking put together is a form of self-respect caring about what you put in your body is a form of self-respect you would care about what your child eats you would care about what how your child looks you would care about these things now care like that for yourself too also like if you look good and you think that you look

good and you like the things that you're wearing then that will lead to Inner self-confidence because you will just feel better about yourself I I know if I would send my child to school and they're wearing clothes that they love and they look nice they will feel better about themselves also goes to having a clean space so if you had a child you would for example I would care if the room is clean if like their environment is clean your environment holds energy when there's too much clutter when there's too much mess around that is

stuck energy in those items and that is not good for you you will feel like I don't want to go home anymore I feel like my space is not nice like you're home is supposed to feel safe also dirty spaces are just less attractive to work in um if you need to focus and there's clutter all everywhere your mind will be cluttered so make sure that your space or whatever you're working in is clean cuz you would do that for your child if you care about your child I think it's neglectful to let children just

grow up in dirty spaces and not care about their environment another thing is going outside now this is actually something that I realized about myself so when when I was growing up I wasn't really allowed to have friends or go out with friends or whatever so I was a very isolated child and whenever I wanted to go out with friends I had to laughe it was for a school project cuz otherwise I was just not allowed now when I grew up and I stepped into adolescence I still carried on this Behavior into my adulthood and

often times I just isolate myself and I will stay home often or I will go to places to eat and then just come home but I don't really engage with a lot of people and especially because my work is online I don't have to engage with a lot of people this is not healthy for my inner child and I am being a bad parent for myself if I'm acting this way why because my inner child never got to experience going out when it was younger now when I do have the freedom to go wherever I

want whenever I want I still don't do it so I'm still kind of abusing myself and I'm restricting myself if I had a child right now and if I'm being a parent to my child I would not stay home with my child all day because that is neglectful I would go to the Park I would go to nice places cuz I would want my child to experience these things so think like that to yourself and staying home for too long can lead to feeling isolated depressed and having more anxiety it also diminishes your social skills

because you're not around a lot of people also spending time in nature has been linked to increased creativity and concentration another thing is comparing yourself I think any good parent would try not to compare their child because this can diminish their confidence in themselves this helps no one this creates unnecessary competitiveness and this puts the other person on a pedestal when they should never be on that pedestal you should just think like oh wow I'm happy they're doing great I'm doing great as well or I can be as good if not better comparison limits the

child so don't do that to yourself if you're being a parent to yourself see I was compared when I was younger to my siblings and especially around the way that I look because I'm the only child in my family without light eyes like I have brown eyes and all of my other siblings have either blue or green eyes and my mom has like very blue eyes and I remember when I was younger she would always say like oh you know your sister looks like me because of her light eyes and like you don't have that

you look like your dad and I always just felt because of that like the ugly child and I would literally wish that I just had blue eyes just so like I could be accepted by my mom or like she could love me more um this is really sad because now if I look at my younger pictures of myself and I see my child like self I'm thinking to myself I was so beautiful like such a beautiful child but I could never see that because just the fact that I didn't have let's say blue eyes I

was never really looked at as an attractive child within the family now this obviously later on I never thought that I was really beautiful growing up ever I never thought about it at all um only when I started to go into my teenage years more people started finding me attractive um and I found that so weird I couldn't even believe that I honestly never ever believed that when I'm raising my child I would not want my child to feel ever that way I want my child to recognize that they're beautiful and smart and loved so

don't do that to yourself don't compare yourself to other people cuz it just limits you another thing is having good relationships and Friends ships would you let your child be with the person that you're with would you let your child be friends with them dating them whatever would you if that's a no then please reconsider the relationships you have in life relationships are so important for our personal growth and for our social skills to understand other people better now there is just a point where relationships become self-abusive and if you think that oh my God

if my child came home with this type of person that I am with right now I would literally freak out you're not with the right person if you think that I would never allow my child to be friends with this person because they're so bad to them or so toxic you're not friends with the right person you need to cut these people out because there should be a line of abusing yourself I get it like we all go through things and we all have to experience these things but when it's enough enough like what is

your limit how far does it have to get Until you realize this is way too toxic no I think often times you don't need to realize things too late you can realize things in the moment and be like oh wow this shouldn't go any further than this because if this goes any further maybe I will lose a part of myself is this person worth losing yourself over ask yourself this if you are whole by yourself why give away pieces of yourself that maybe you won't easily get back anymore energetically we go to standing up for

yourself how would you stand up for your child stand up for yourself in the same exact way remember that story that I said in my last video about the hairdresser talking about my hair and saying she would be so unhappy if she was me if my child was sitting in that chair and my child already feels bad about their hair I'm paying this lady for a service and she said that to my child I would tell her shut up don't talk to my child that way and I would leave the salon I would stand up

for my child immediately now in that moment I should have done exactly the same thing for myself you see if you are getting bullied if someone is being rude to you at work how would you react if someone was doing that to your child how would you react because if my child was being bullied in school best believe that the principal all these people would not have the best day of their life when I come to school I would stand up for them in that way so stand up in that way for yourself when you

stand up for yourself you show people that they cannot take advantage of you you show them where your boundaries are because often times in life people will try to test you and test your limits now if you let them go too far too far for them you're already Limitless and they don't respect you but if you have other people that whenever you say something to them and they immediately clock you for it and they're like don't speak to me like that don't say that or why would you say something like that and you put them

in an uncomfortable position now they will think twice to do that again they won't but imagine you're already in a position now where you have let things slide too much and you think like oh my God how do I establish boundaries now you still can do that you can literally start from today and be like this is the last time you will talk to me like that and whenever they do talk to you like that you put in the action see this is the issue most of us we just talk we just say things I'm

going to do this and you threaten and you threaten but you never actually do anything put in the action not the words anymore so whenever someone says this something disrespectful for you okay I'm gone bye and you leave unless it's full remorse remorse remorse you do not go there again because these people have not respected you in the past they will not respect you again you show people how they treat you they treat you exactly how you show them that they're allowed to treat you another thing is positive self talk positive selft talk can boost

your self-confidence and it can signal to your brain that you think that you're worthy of hearing nice and kind words also signals to your brain that you are worthy of receiving respect so in this case you will also be much more likely to receive respect from others and be okay with that you see if you were a parent to your child and to your inner child you would speak kindly to your child right like I would tell my child it's smart it's beautiful it's the most amazing thing I've seen in the world and I would

really boost them up like that now you have to do the same thing for yourself as well if you notice people that are not able to talk kindly to themselves they're also not able to receive things from others they're very awkward with nice words or compliments alth they try to avoid it as much as they can now this leads to a lack of self-confidence cuz a confident person is able to receive compliments and say thank you so much that's it now someone that is not that confident will dismiss them and say oh no I'm not

that great oh no this is not no you don't want your child to be like that right when they get a compliment from let's say the teacher and they say no no teacher I'm not that smart no I want my child to be like thank you so much so the positive selft talk will combat your negative self talk because our brain tends to be negative first so what you have to do is reverse it you can train your brain hypnotize it actually into believing something else for example I used to always say the affirmation God

wants me to win God wants me to succeed I swear I believe this 100% And my life is literally like this now like magical almost because I genuinely believe that anything that happens in my life is for my greater good I think that if it doesn't happen in the way that I want God has a better plan for me and if it happens then I think yay God wants me to succeed like God is rooting for me that's truly what I believe so because I wired my brain like that I have situations that act like

that now when I was younger I used to heavily beli that everything is evil eye and oh my God like I'm I'm getting so much evil eye I was giving myself the evil eye okay because I was constantly creating more and more situations that signified that that was evil eye because my brain was creating my environment so instead I started thinking God is protecting me and God wants me to win now my life looks like that you know I saw one quote from Oscar wild and it was to love oneself is the beginning of a

lifelong romance and it's so true when you pour into yourself God really rewards you it's almost magical I cannot describe it I I really noticed that the more I invest in myself the more I do things to take care of myself the better my life gets and I notice that when I start neglecting myself and not really taking care anymore and I don't really pour into myself as much and I start pouring into other people more My Life Starts to go downhill so there is really something about giving yourself the energy that you need to

then give it to others as well but first water yourself and one last thing is forgive yourself imagine you had a child right now and the child had made a mistake would you hold your child to that mistake for the rest of their lives and You' be like oh my God remember when you did this no you wouldn't if your child showed remorse and then they understand why it's wrong and they don't do it again then you would want them to move on right do the same thing for yourself I one time had this DM

from this woman she was like 35 or something she had children now everything she dm'd me and she said Liz yeah you know I love your videos but it's so hard because I can't forgive myself cuz I used to be a high school bully and I'm thinking to myself like you're 35 now you already understand that what you did is wrong and you feel so bad about it still years later it's okay for you to move on now you don't have to hold yourself to the same person you were like 10 years ago you literally

changed you know one thing you can maybe do is if you feel so bad about it reach out to the people you bullied and be like hey I'm so sorry for doing that at the time and apologize but what else can you do at some point you move on from these things and that's it also one thing that I did recently is I put a picture of my younger self on the background of my phone and anytime I'm pressuring myself or I'm being hard on myself I just look at that picture and I look into

my eyes and I start to feel so bad for myself like truly I think it's a really good way to hold yourself accountable and to look at yourself and remember that whatever you're doing you're doing to your inner child so think about any situation like that so you can make better decisions anyways guys I hope this video helped some of you guys and I love you guys so much and yeah I see you in the next video bye-bye