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have you ever noticed how a narcissist reacts when they start losing control over you it's almost as if the very Foundation of their world begins to crumble and they'll do anything to regain their grip it's like you know they know they know you know now what but what exactly happens when their usual manipulation tactics stop working well that's why in today's episode we are going to dive into the three sneaky tricks that narcissists turn to when they realize they can't control you anymore and these tricks are designed to send you into a spiral and I

want you to stay tuned stick around my friend because understanding these tactics could be the key to not getting sucked in into their manipulative web or in some cases sucked back in so you ready give me your big ready number one they're going to intensify their tactics whatever tactic they have used in the past will be amped up let's start with narcissistic rage you trigger their ego their shame do something to shatter their image now you might be thinking oh my gosh all I did was bring up a hurt or all I did was you

know raise a concern or all I did was remind you that you know this isn't the right Behavior but to the narcissist that is a major attack to them it's a major attack on their their personhood and remember you have to remind yourself of this narcissists live a life of Shame so they are holding on to all of this shame they don't want to face that shame because facing that shame means that I have to admit that I have done some things in my life that would actually be contributing to that shame and I got

to own up to it and I got to take that journey to begin healing no no no no that's not going to happen so what happens is they create this false Persona they're the they're the the great guy they're the they're the nice gal they're the they're they're always the one who's got the issue and everybody's just always picking on them whatever image that they want to portray that's the mask that you're going to get now what happens when you come in and you challenge that now you may be doing it because you're calling them

out but you there are many many times where you're not even doing it intentionally you're like I'm not even calling your stuff out I'm just calling your stuff out meaning in a normal healthy relationship where there's a mutual love and respect and communication and hey you know I don't know if you realize you've been doing this lately and you know not really a good look for you narcissists cannot handle that so they're going to go now into a rage they're going to be furious and they're going to start likely with intimidation intimidation is when they

start to make threats now in the P remember number one is they're going to intensify their tactics so whatever they've used they're just going to amp it up they're going to bring it up to another level so if intimidation has worked in the past meaning like oh okay well you know if we're going to go down this road well then we're not going on that vacation or you know well since you brought that up and you know that's probably not the right choice for us to buy that car at this point they're they're going to

make these subtle little threats to try to take something away from you but the whole point is to intimidate you to to back down that's the point of this so if that stuff has worked in the past where you're like okay you know I don't want to rock the boat and they're going to go right to that and they're going to bring it up 10 notches another tactic that they've likely used that they're going to intensify is the gaslighting what are you talking about I never said that that's not how that went down you heard

me wrong you're ruining everything this is the stuff that you make up this is the things I can't stand about you that is the gaslighting where they come in and they just distort your reality I never said something you literally got proof like it's right here in text nope that wasn't me so if that has worked in the past they're going to amp that up another big tactic of the narcissist especially the covert or you could otherwise call them vulnerable narcissist is playing the victim they will twist everything to make themselves look like they are

being misused abused harassed anything that puts them in that victim position now remember we go back to what we were just talking about a few minutes ago they they have this False Image so whatever that False Image that they've created they're going to do everything to maintain that so one of their famous tactics is playing the victim you're picking on me you're attacking me you're abusing me and all you did was bring a concern to them and now you're accused of not bringing it at the right time or in the right place or you know

the sun wasn't lined up perfectly with the moon and the stars and there's always going to be something that you've done wrong that is now a aurt hurt to them and if that doesn't work then they're going to bring in a whole bunch of other things that are now going to try to play on your pity and they may be uh applicable they may not be applicable but have you ever noticed this is kind of a little bit of a rabbit Trail and and guys if we've been together any length of time you you know

I love my rabbit trails and by the way in case we haven't met yet my name is Chris Reese it is my heart and my hope to help you navigate difficult relationships and Conquer codependency bu biblically so if you're not already subscribed would you do me a favor and go ahead and hit that subscribe and notification button okay so back to my rabbit Trail ah I lost my rabbit Trail turn it all right maybe it'll come back I'm trying to get it back lord bring it back if it's important I guess it's not important okay

let's move on but they love to play the victim and if if that has worked in the past then their tactic when they can no longer control you is going to be to amp up all of their previous tactics so imagine everything that they've ever done now on steroids so a lot of times we we make the mistake of thinking that okay I know now I'm going to call this stuff out you're going into this levelheaded peaceful you know you're willing to have a healthy conversation and you're making the false assumption that they're going to

reciprocate simply because you are and and I can understand why because likely in the past you've probably reacted inappropriately right because their behaviors are like they're a total mind mess intimidation threats gaslighting playing the victim rage anger all of these things that they start to use kind of takes a a a normal person AB back and you're like oh oh okay um maybe it wasn't the right time for me to bring that up or wow you know maybe I shouldn't have said that and they love to make it feel like it's your fault they will

always always blame and that's another game they're going to blame okay tactic number one they're going to intensify their original tactics so do not think for a second that this is now going to start to get better my friend I want you even write this in the comments write it in your notes section write it on your your hand if you have to remind yourself this is about to get worse because you are coming in now with a healthy approach to challenging them they know they can no longer control you they know they can no

longer manipulate you oh and that's another that's another one of their in their tactics they love the manipulation game so get ready for all of this to get amped up and I want you my friend to keep your cool in fact we we did a workshop not too long ago and we just converted it into a course it was called Master the powerful tactics to gain control when triggered into toxic arguments um so if our moderators can go ahead and pop a link into the the chat for that actually Zoe I don't think you have

the link so I don't want to stop this at this point at some point actually it's probably in the description box below so go ahead and check that out this way you continue to keep your cool while these tactics begin to amp up okay number one they're going to intensify their tactics guys if you are being blessed by our time together would you do me a favor and click that like button also I want to make sure that you get your hands on our new Nar assist Survival Guide my friend this is my free gift

to you it is chalk full of information education with scriptures to pray and responses to say when you are stuck in the middle of a narcissistic relationship so make sure you go ahead and get your hands on that okay tactic number two is to punish you if they have something that you want or need they will take it away from you whether that is material things like the car he's been promising you or intangible things like love and affection if you say no to their bad behavior they'll say no to whatever you want you are

likely going to get met with stonewalling the silent treatment um any form of punishing sarcasm they're going to do everything to punish you to make sure that you understand what you're doing you are doing this you are causing this you are making me have to do this because you are the problem and you are ruining this relationship now I want to give you a little forewarning do not bother calling this out do not bother telling them that they're stonewalling you or giving you the silent treatment or punishing you on purpose they just going to deny

it and they're going to hit you with a pathetic excuse take it from the top we're going to go back to gaslighting oh I didn't think you were interested in being with me at all after the way you spoke to me that way well it's clear how you want things between us now or just some other manipulative Twisted excuse that denies their reactive Behavior they'll even justify it within uh no I was just busy at work or no I haven't been feeling well today you know you have no compassion for me I'm not feeling well

they will come up with one thing after another now especially here's what I realized that most of you are dealing with the passive aggressive covert narcissist please let me know if that's you let me know in the chat yes I'm dealing with the passive aggressive covert narcissist and what's happening is we're you're you're looking for answers you're looking for closure you're looking for truth my friend you're not going to get it from these people they will justify they will twist they will do whatever they have to do oh I was just kidding oh can't you

take a joke or you knew how busy I was supposed to be today meanwhile they text you like 60 times in a day but not on the day that you challenge them with something that you wanted to talk about how convenient right so I want you to be able to keep your sanity in all of this because you're now going to go back to them and be like hey this is what I think you're doing and hey this is why this is hurting me my friend if these people have already shown you who they are

and how they are please do not waste your precious energy on trying to get them to understand something they are dead set against resisting tactic number two they're going to punish you tactic number three is the smear campaign there's only a few things that narcissists care about and one of them is their image remember at the top of our time to get together we were talking about how they need to be perceived by people and in the very beginning it was probably very important that that that that you see them in that light as well

but now you've probably Fallen From Grace U remember we have three phases we have the ID idolization the devaluation and the discard so most people that I encounter are going through the devaluation phase they just don't understand it like I I this this guy this gal they were so great in the beginning and you know they swooned over me and that's all they could take they you know I I just shared everything with them they couldn't get enough of me and then suddenly your Fall From Grace was gradual but it was there and it was

noticeable it was tangible and they likely portrayed that image to you but here's what's interesting they don't care about what you think of them at this point right you could be in a in a marriage with them for 5 10 25 years and they'll actually care more about what the people in church are going to think about them or what some extended family members are going to think about them or even the guy at the grocery store their image is everything to them and despite all of the nasty Insidious manipulative destructive things that they've done

they only care about how they are perceived by others and that image pre uh preservation and perception does not extend to you only those who are on the outside that cannot verify the validity of their claims they get the one-sided oh my gosh I can't believe that happened to you oh my goodness how did you tolerate that for so long they love to be in that position they love to be the hero or the victim and they will stop at nothing my friend when they can't control you anymore they will stop at nothing they will

take information and they will blow it out of proportion they'll take it out of context or if they don't have enough of that to to feed that image of theirs they'll actually just make up outright lies they'll just start spreading rumors and negative information about you to others to try to damage your reputation and then isolate you from potential support systems so for example they might tell mutual friends or family or co-workers that you know I think they're a little bit unstable and selfish and they're the cause of all the problems in in this relationship

aiming to turn people against you and if this to toxic Dynamic has been going on a while my friend you can better believe that they were already preemptive in their smear CA campaign against you remember they've been through this before you're getting blindsided because you're not a narcissist but they've been through this game before likely dozens of times with dozens of people they've got the Playbook already set they have laid this out believe me when I tell you you know this is what hits people very hard in narcissistic relationships often times narcissists they don't listen

to you they they don't care you know they may claim that they've got ADHD or they're busy or they've got something else going on but the truth is they don't care about what you're saying which is why they're barely listening to you so you think that they're not listening but the truth is they're listening to everything I've often said it is being with a narcissist is like being arrested everything you say can and will be used against you but they've been through this process before so they see as this begins to progress they see the

writing on the wall they know that they're not on idolizing you anymore they know that they they've put you in the devaluation stage they know that and they know that it's affecting you so now remember they don't care how they're affecting you they only care how what they're doing is affecting you and what you're doing is affecting them it's like a boomerang they really don't care how they affect and infect you so as they begin to notice these patterns taking place try trust me the smear campaign has already started it started a long time ago

so that's tactic number three they will take your name through the mud and interestingly enough you could have a boatload of dirt on them and they are actually I'm going to say this they are actually stupid enough to still try to smear you despite everything that you can use against them they're still going to go down that road it's Insidious and it's it's almost compulsive for them like I said it's like they've got this Playbook and it just has to play out that way the minute a relationship starts going this way I got to play

it this way when all else fails here's the ultimate when they can't control you when they can't manipulate you anymore when none of these tactics make a difference anymore there is one final thing they will do they will discard you they will reject you they'll either leave you emotionally or they'll actually leave the relationship so meaning they'll they'll actually just pack their bags and leave or they're going to completely emotionally withdraw and a lot of times this is still a little bit of a control tactic because what they do is they try to they have

that that avoidance dance that they want you to now chase them narcissists love the chase but they just don't know what to do with you when they get you like they don't actually know how to be in a genuine relationship with mutual respect and healthy communication but so their hope is that you will come back begging that you are going to beg them to come back but they're done with you now there is no predictable pattern per se but what is predictable is that they will use the tactic that is easiest for them to default

to and more importantly the tactic that has worked in the past so whatever's worked in the past you will see that amped up and that's why my friend it is so important to stand your ground and I'm not saying stand your ground as in you've got to fight fire with fire believe me you do not want to win a narcissistic War because in order for that to happen you've now got to step into their Turf I don't know about you I'm not interested I don't want to be that person I don't even want to be

around that person but in order to stand your ground I want you to stand your ground in truth his truth knowing that number one he is going to fight your battles number two he is going to reveal all things believe me my friend he does reveal everything because here's what's going to happen you are likely struggling right now to want to give in you just you want the relationship to be what it was because here's the thing with narcissists it's not all bad you do have some good times a lot of them is future faking

but it there are some good times in there so they want what they want out of a relationship and when you are no longer of use to them when they've worn that tool out they will discard you and that's why it is so easy for them to just move on and if you are the type of person that struggles with codependency if you are trauma bonded to this person then you are likely going to start taking blame where you should and that's exactly what they want you to do they're going to do whatever they can

to still keep you and they're going to use the tactic that they've used in the past because like a child my friend if you give in you've literally taught them that that tactic works and they simply need to keep pressing that's it I remember one time I was standing in the grocery store and you know they have the aisle with the the candy and stuff and there was a a woman behind me and you could just tell she was exasperated and her I think he must have been about four years old and he was just

really like all over the place hyper couldn't sit still wasn't focusing mommy I'm picking up all this candy and I want this I want this no no no and she's trying to reason with them I'm like I I don't understand people that try to reason logically with a child who doesn't have the capacity to reason but she's trying to Reon with him and she she's getting frustrated and this kid's just going on and on and he's throwing the candy on the ground and this one must have been on for about five minutes and she finally

gave in okay fine one piece that's all you're getting is one piece we've got to go home and have dinner and she's going through this diet tribe of like like it it was a pathetic attempt to control on her part but she caved she caved and sadly I was like oh no darling you just taught this child that all he has to do is to continue to kick a fit and he's eventually going to get what he wants my friend the same thing is true for the narcissist so here's what you shouldn't do do not

take the bait I want you to identify what you're feeling and take it to the Lord take it to a friend a counselor don't take it to the narcissist please type that in the comments do not take your hurts to The Narcissist why do we do that you're only giving them more ammunition to use against you I want you to think about this you're hurting a lot of times in narcissistic relationships you're almost isolated they they kind of pull away your support you know don't talk about what's going on you know that's a betrayal so

you don't have too many people to talk to so you go to your narcissist and if there's that codependency if there's that trauma Bond they are going to be your person to go to and all that's going to happen my friend is we're going to take it from the top okay gaslighting punishing smear campaigns it just all starts all over again you go with an injury and you get reinjured all over again and I'm sure that you've told them in the past how their behaviors have made you feel and if you saw that there was

no desire to work through the problem then you're dealing with someone who will be more than happy to take those feelings and use the tactics in the future to create create the same plan and the same pain yes they are broken sick twisted individuals that are so empty on the inside they can actually derive pleasure from your pain because it turns the focus away from theirs now we're not going to get into like the levels of narcissism you know there's the the and they're all on spectrums and a Continuum you know you got a low

level with some narcissistic traits all the way up to that malicious malignant narcissist who really actually wants to see you in pain not all are like that but they actually don't care about your pain if it takes the focus away from theirs narcissists are peace snatchers Soul suckers and joy Crushers and the sad part is they don't even know it but I know what you're thinking right now you're thinking oh if I could just point that out to them that's going to make a difference fight it it's not going to make a difference do not

point that out to them they've shown you repeatedly they don't care I do want to pray with you and I know we're going to jump into our Q&A time together if you do have any questions um please feel free to post them in the chat make sure you put question marks before and after so we can detect them easier I'm going to get to as many many as possible um so let's take our time before the Lord because I know there is so much pain and hurt and confusion in these relation ships and the enemy

really loves to use them to rob you of your future so Heavenly Father we come before you in the mighty matchless name of Jesus giving thanks thank you for being our god thank you for being our source of comfort thank you for being our Rock and our safe place thank you Lord that you that you hide Us in The Shadow of Your Wings help us to remember Lord that your your covering is over us when we're in the midst of these toxic attacks father please reveal to us where we've gone wrong so we can keep

our confession current but Lord help us to remember remember not to absorb any more than we are personally responsible for help us Lord to not be enablers to evil toxic Behavior give us the wisdom to know the difference give us the courage to stand up against evil and not fight in our own strength but Lord knowing that you go before us you are our victory you are our Banner you are our standard and your Banner Over Us is love Lord your word says that when the enemy comes in like a flood your spirit lifts up

a standard against him so father right now we ask for a hedge of protection around our hearts let us not exchange evil evil for evil and for that one right now who's going through that nasty narcissistic battle and is struggling with the guilt of getting baited every time there is healing in the mighty name of Jesus you do not have to fight for yourself you don't have to justify defend explain you have a God who is for you and will fight these battles you simply need to stand still so father we declare that you are

the Mighty God the merciful god the faithful God the loving truthful faithful God you are El Elon you are truth justice righteousness and Perfection and we submit our lives into your hands use us Lord The Narcissist has seen fit to use us as a tool we don't want to be their tool Lord we want to be your tool use us Lord let us be instruments in your hand we pray this in the mighty name of Jesus if you're agree with me can you say amen I would like to dive into some questions I'm going to

answer the questions I know sometimes we like to have our name displayed um but just for the sake of privacy and future I won't use names I'll just read the questions it says what if they come up I'm sorry what if they come with a new interest in being together but with no acknowledgement of what they said or did oh that is a classic narcissistic move um they're interested in keeping things the status quo but they don't want to admit their part you're just going to end up right back in the same situation it's hard

enough when somebody does admit their part but you are not going to have restoration without repentance you are not going to have restoration without recognition and narcissists severely lack recognition they can't they they cannot recognize where they've gone wrong because that would mean they would have to face the shame that would mean that they would have to put down those masks that would mean that they would have to admit that they were at least a big part of what is taking place so yeah it's it sounds like the Hoover which is classic and if I

would even say if they came back and admitted it and recognized where they went wrong and I mean recognized specifically you see narcissists have a tendency to be very generalized they will be very spe specific with your sins and your shortcomings but very general with theirs oh you know I know I'm not perfect or you know I know I've done this in the past but never specific enough in acknowledging what they've done and how it has impacted you and that's really what you're looking for because anything outside of that you're really stepping back into some

very slippery territory I hope that helps please let me know in the comments how do you move forward without losing yourself oh I love this question and I'm so glad you're asking this because that is actually the key to moving forward is refining yourself in fact one of the the workshops that we did and and it's available on the website if Zoe if you have that if you could post that it's called uncover your god-given strengths to overcome toxic relation ships you see narcissists are really drawn towards people who are struggling with number one boundaries

but number two an identity crisis so if you don't know who you are and whose you are yes you are going to lose yourself in this so I want you to become absolutely Rock Solid in who you are what are my strengths what are my weaknesses where do I need to face what do I need to confess what what has God gifted me in and my friend I want to encourage you to walk boldly in that will you trip yes will you fall maybe that's okay we all do keep moving forward if your identity is

lying in what they're saying about you you are going to get stuck every single time every single time and if you're having trouble letting go of what they're thinking of you and what they're saying about you I really want you to start understanding that codependent trauma bonding Factor um in fact we even have a course on conquering codependency biblically um so as you can imagine you know we've put these courses together because they are common patterns and struggles that people are going to go through so I want to be able to have them at the

ready for you so we'll we'll go ahead and um include that so Zoe I just noticed that you put the uncover your your god-given purpose this is actually the um the workshop the strength Workshop so I'm not sure if if you have that link so guys it it should be in the description box below so definitely check that out uh where did I leave off how do I move forward without losing yourself oh one of the other things that I want to touch on too is it's kind of creepy and narcissists don't have their own

identity remember they're like aliens that come to this planet and they're like oh okay what works and what doesn't work and oh I like I like how that kind of person is received and oh I like how you know that person's behaviors get him what he wants and they start to kind of adopt other people's personalities and if you've been with them any length of time they've likely adopted a lot of yours so now if they leave you almost feel like you lost a part of yourself because they took your personal traits with them because

they didn't have anything substantial of their own so they had to take yours so it can almost feel like wow you just took mine but they didn't they didn't because trust me when they move on and they find that new environment they'll just go suck somebody else's personality yours is still yours they can't take it your god-given temperament has been built into you before the foundation of the world Psalm 13913 please go read it so I want you to begin to embrace that you know it it kind of reminds me of um I have quite

a few connections with fellow YouTubers and it is it is a very toxic platform where a lot of people will steal your content literally I mean they'll either take your video and position it as theirs or I've even had some channels actually extract my um my words from it and then just put it to different pictures and images but it's my content it's proprietary and a lot of people get very upset oh I've got to fight these people I got to make sure they stop doing that and they're going to steal this or you know

there other people are going to now go to them no they're not no they're not God called me to do this because he wired me with a certain way and he gifted me with a certain gifting and and I'm not taking any credit myself I said God gave it to me so you can't take it it's like you can maybe even try to take my words but you can't take it because it's not me it's him working through me so he's not going to honor that he's not going to be in that and and I

hope that analogy made sense and helped because you're you you are awesomely fearfully and wonderfully made you my friend go be you please let me know if that helps our next question is God opposed to narcissists so there's another question that comes along with it so the answer to that is yes uh will he punish them yes or is he more compassionate and merciful towards them yes so let's start to break this down um I'm going to look up this scripture that I want to there's a few scriptures that I want to share with you

so we talk about first of all scripture does tell us that God opposes the proud um Psalm 1386 there's another one it's in Proverbs um I just want to look up exactly Proverbs 6 yes okay so I had somebody post on a YouTube channel not too long ago you keep you know stop portraying God this way he's a god of love God doesn't hate and okay Proverbs 6:16 these are six things that the Lord hates seven that are an Abomination to him eyes a lying tongue hands that shed innocent blood a heart that devises Wicked

plans feet that make haste to run evil a false witness who breathes out lies and one who SWS Discord among Brothers it's clear as day he says I hate this so is God opposed to The Narcissist well yes I mean if narcissists are proud huy executing Wicked plans breathing out lies sewing Discord I mean these are their smear campaigns these are their gaslighting tactics this is this is what they do so does God oppose that yes absolutely to answer your last question is he more compassionate and merciful towards them so I'm going to answer your

question is he more compassionate no God is compassionate he is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love his desire is that none should perish which is why he gives us all including the narcissist a chance at repentance and believe me when I tell you the narcissist gets chance after chance after chance at repentance and the more they ignore that the more they shift the blame outwards the more they you know keep their false facade the more they sear their conscience so the harder and harder it will be to actually hear the Holy Spirit prompting

them to repent prompting them to turn from their ways so yes I mean God does have compassion on them and he is merciful towards them absolutely and as much as we want Justice and Vengeance yes we want him to be compassionate and merciful we want these people to turn from their ways and turn towards God I hope that answered your question how we doing on time we're good have you seen a narcissist being capable of truly loving someone or ever changing the answer is yes and no so a narcissist that is grounded in their beliefs

no it's not going to happen they can they can fake love they can fake empathy remember they're like aliens they got to come to this earth and like oh oh okay that's what that's what empathy looks like oh okay so I'll just learn to say oh I'm so sorry they can fake that or they can feel it but they only feel it when it serves them otherwise it's just goes right out the window so the narcissists that I've seen capable of change are typically the very low-level narcissists who've now recognized the error of their ways

they've recognized ah you know what wow yeah I manipulate people o yeah yeah gas light yeah I try to shift the blame off of me they they recognize this about themselves now even with that is it still a long journey oh yeah yeah they don't have love and empathy baked in like you might so I have a feeling you're asking because you're probably hanging on to hope and wondering if you should stay or go and of course I can't be the one to tell you that but if there's no recognition there's no repentance there will

be no change even with recognition and repentance it's still hard to change but even with that I mean I I'm I'm guessing you are very empathetic you you are willing to walk this journey with somebody mistakes and all but mistakes are very different than masks mistake is I recognize where I went wrong and I repented and now I'm going to make restitution for this and I also recognize that if I've hurt you beyond what you're willing to tolerate then yes I understand why you'd want to leave but a mask is I'm just going to pretend

to be something that I'm not and the minute you come along and try to that little fragile egg shell covering I'm just going to fly into a rage then no you you've got no hope I I hope that helped when the narcissist in my life passed away the family blamed me and started a smear campaign all lies how do I handle the smear campaign and why the smear oh the smear campaign is the hardest I I got to tell you you know you almost you'd almost rather go back to the years of Silent abuse then

deal with the smear campaign it's it's challenging it's isolating you know you you you lose friends in your case you're losing family what I'm about to share with you is the answer but it's going to be the hardest thing you've ever had to do and that is to let them just let them leave it to God the truth always comes out in the wash and what the enemy wants to do with you right now now is to get you caught in a tizzy so here's what I here's what I want you to imagine trying to

undo the lies of a smear campaign is like running up to the top of the Empire State building with a pillow a downfill pillow ripping it open shaking all the feathers out and as they fall to the ground you have to hurry up and race down there and pick them up before they land in the order in which they fell that is the feudal effort of trying to deal with somebody's smear campaign and it's hard I know it hurts because they exaggerate truths remember they got to protect their image so they don't care who they

throw under the bus and if you're the scapegoat it's just easier it just made it easier for them I know this is going to be really challenging to just almost do nothing but I can promise you that as time goes on God is going to weed out those people that didn't belong in your life anyway if they're going to believe the smears and they're going to believe the lies they didn't belong in your life anyway but here's what Elsie's going to do there going to be some people it might take them a while might take

months it might even take years before they Rec recognize wow that person wasn't telling the truth and God can bring restoration better than we ever could my friend please let me know if that helped okay I think we have time for one more question how do I set boundaries in front of my small children 43 and 1 when he speaks and twists everything even with my kids he does it oh that's another challenging one that is a classic narcissist move they love to twist things because remember they have to deny reality distort yours and deny

the truth so all that's going on so again it's kind of going back to similar with the smear campaign and you're trying to like no no no no that's not right no no no that's not what I said no no no that's not what I meant and you go back and you kind of retrace the steps why because you're a logical healthy person and you're not talking to a logical healthy person if this person has shown you that they have no interest in understanding truly understanding what you have to say then they're showing you that

all I want to do is Twist those words you're almost better off tapping out okay because you you're going to get sucked into an argument and a discussion that is going nowhere now here here's the thing that we also struggle with too if I just kind of back out and be like all right I'm not arguing with this a healthy person would actually come to their senses a little bit later on and be like ah okay you know I shouldn't have done that I kind of made a fool of myself or I should have listened

to you I'm sorry but no no narcissists will actually believe okay see good he or she finally came to their senses yeah see they take your silence as agreement and that can be the most frustrating so you either argue and you get the life sucked out of you and you still get no resolve so please let me know my friend if you ever got resolved in trying to untwist their words if you did you were probably likely the first you can either spend your energy doing that and then just getting absolutely exhausted which that's toxic

option number one toxic option number two is I just recognize what I'm dealing with and move on and know that huh yeah they just they just thought they won let them let them my friend please let me know if that helped all right I have another minute or so so we can go ahead and answer another question I love our Q&A guys please give me a thumbs up if you love our Q&A time together I I I like being able to get in here and I believe me I love creating the YouTube videos I want

to be able to help you navigate these relationships in a way that that you can be proud of and that you feel like God would be proud of you but at the same time I know sometimes our situations are very nuanced and we could use some personal attention so I I hope you're blessed by our time how and when does God reveal the truth about them and the lies they told about me while smearing and ruining my reputation oh my friend I wish I had an answer for that I don't know the how and I

don't know the when I just know he will and sometimes I even wonder and I know this isn't going to help you I'm really sorry but actually it will help you sometimes I wonder if it's even going to happen on this side of Eternity and here's where I want this to help you because my friend I want you to move on move on because first the enemy used the narcissist then he used the flying monkeys that the narcissist is used and now he's using the perceived Injustice you're trapped you are trapped you were trapped here

you were trapped here and now he's got you trapped here break that trap and move on I don't know when it's going to come I don't know how it's going to come I do know it will because I believe God's truth but now if my life if your life is revolved around when is this going to take place it's almost like you're sitting here waiting like I can't move on until uh-uh you can move on in fact move on make that declaration today move on I am moving on Lord in My Hope and my trust

in you you bring this Justice you bring this reveal this truth in your perfect timing Lord I'm moving forward in all that you've created me to be and what you've created me to do um okay I'm having trouble understanding this one what about if your spouse has narcissistic traits but not 100% they are narcissist and he actually recognized his fault and the first time sound sincere do you think this is possible I think it's worth a chance you know it's hard to tell you know first of all I'm just this woman on the other side

of a screen answering a three sentence question so you know don't take my word at gospel truth but I believe everybody is worth a chance and let's put the label aside go by how he treats you go by the behaviors that you see in front of you so is he treating you poorly then that needs to get addressed and if you are continuing to grow in that and if recognizing it and he's willing to work with it and you're willing to work with him then yes there's there's a possibility there so I think that's worth

a chance so be careful not to say well he's not 100% narcissist remember narcissism is is going to be on a spectrum I could have some narcissistic traits or I can be a fullblown narcissistic personality disorder um malignant harmful narcissist so you're really looking at is somebody willing to acknowledge those traits are they willing to acknowledge the damage that they're doing to the relationship forget the label putting narcissist aside I mean besides that it's just so overused and abused at this point take the the traits that he's bringing or he or she is bringing to

the table and say are they willing to see this is this workable can we go to counseling over over this and I would say then that's possible okay all right guys I I know we have so many other questions and I really want to be able to get to as many as possible but as we wind down our time today I really hope that you've been blessed by our time and if you have been if you could just do me one small favor and hit the like And subscribe button there are so many people that

are suffering under narcissistic abuse toxic relationships codependency um and we do this all biblically so even your simple like And subscribe gets this out to even more people how so well it triggers the YouTube algorithm that says oh people are liking this let us get this in front of more people who need this and believe me when I tell you more people need this so my friend if you've been blessed please go ahead and hit that like And subscribe button if any of our courses have spoken to you today we will go ahead and include

a link in the description section below um each of them are broken down check them out we also have a link that'll take you to all of them from conquering codependency biblically to learning how to keep your cool in the midst of a toxic argument to learning what your god-given temperament is so you can Embrace those strengths and move forward and all that he has for you so definitely check all of those out I hope you've enjoyed your time as much as I have my friend until next time remember this all things are possible with

God bye for now